Christmas.....

My thoughts on Christmas.....

The past 4 years have been really hard...the holidays are the hardest...


I have no desire to celebrate Christmas.  To some of you, you may find this hard to believe.  I used to be in a festive mood starting in November!  I loved putting up Christmas decorations, bringing some cheer into the holidays!  I loved baking treats and then taking them to all of our friends!  Showing my kids the true meaning of Christmas, by serving other!  Some that did not have what we had...some that may have had some sadness in their lives.  Even though I did this through out the year it seemed to be magical during the Christmas season!


But then it seemed that I was being given my own test and set of trials.  My mother was diagnosed with cancer and a few short months later passed away, just days before Thanksgiving.  She was my cohort in Christmas shopping and baking...even though we were separated by miles we were on the phone multiple times a day with each other.  She would tell me what she was getting everyone.  She would tell me how all the grandchildren were doing.  She would be inspired by my sewing and then start sewing for everyone there in Kansas!  Loosing here some how turned my feelings of Christmas that year numb.  I did not want to do Christmas but went through the motions of it anyways.  I realized that but could not seem to pull myself out of this state.

The other part to my Christmas blues was my marriage had failed...I seperated from my husband and remained separated from 2012 until this October when our divorce was finalized.  I have lived with my Uncle Mike for these years.  And truth be told living with the Grinch of Christmas makes me not even want to talk about Christmas.  I feel as though I have to hide my feelings, because anytime I bring up Christmas or any of the Holidays it seems to be critiqued by him or criticized.  Things like cant you serve all year round why do you have to just do nice things at Christmas time.  Of course even if I said something like I want to serve or I do all year round it does not matter.  My heart is yearning to feel that magic Christmas spirit again but I just can't with Mr. Grinch...  I go out shopping for my kids and feel like I cant get them anything but when Mr. Grinch goes out to get things for his kids and grandkids I'm suppose to be support it and be happy for him.

To me Christmas is not about the presents or the material things in this life.  Christmas is about Christ!  Christmas is about reflections of Christs life and how he served and taught and ministered to all people on this earth!  Christmas is about family and being together forever with the ones you love!  If there are people out there HATE the holidays then they need to look within their own hearts and pray for a mighty change of heart!   Christmas time can be stressful to some but if we keep in our hearts why it is celebrated then we become closer to Christ and our love for others swells and grows deeper just as Christ loves us!  As we reflect on this Christmas season let us remember that Christ is our Savior, he who is mighty to save, he who is the author of happiness, let us look to him as we celebrate!  Let us be like the Wise Men this year and give presents unto the Savior instead of receiving then!

A great teaching moment!

My kids have been bickering and fighting all week long and I had finally had enough of it!  Today we are suppose to go out for a field trip and do some grocery shopping.  But again all they have done was fight fight fight!.... So they were each assigned to write 100 times "I will control my actions and show love to others through my actions."  As I was making breakfast and contemplating hiring a babysitter so I could get the needed groceries we needed for the next 2 weeks my mind reflected on the Savior and what he would do.  I sat there watching my kids write lines...some had excepted and were happy about it and others were murmuring and and complaining about it and still had not excepted the consequence of their actions.  While some of us come to Christ willingly there are some of us that fight and put up a wall...but Christ is always there to show love and mercy to us when we let him.  I called all the kids to breakfast and let them eat.  They were eager to eat and get back to writing and finish so they could go and have fun today!  But the spirit was overwhelming and I knew that a lesson needed to be taught.  I started to teach them of the woman that was brought to the Savior being accused of adultery.  Christ asked those thine accusers if they had sinned...them that had not sinned to cast the first stone....nobody had picked up a stone...instead they had all left because they knew that they were not without sin...And then Christ said to the woman....thy sins are forgiven, go and sin no more.  As I shared that with my children...I had tears streaming down my face...and all the kids were now intently listening and wanting to comfort me.  I imagined that this is how Christ must feel when he sees one of us making mistakes and then realizing what we had done coming to him and asking him to help us.  I then took my kids papers and told them to go and sin no more...the look on their faces were priceless as tears started to well up in their eyes as well.  The mood of our home was different and their attitudes have been amazing.  I know that as we follow the spirit and listen to his guidance we can have happy homes!  God knows each of his children individually!  He knew that I needed this lesson and that my kids needed to know that mercy does exist and that as we work our hardest and do our best that Christ does and will make up the difference!


And then there was the one that did not want to take hold of that mercy and thought that only justice should be carried out.  And so that one finished with the assigned 100 lines without a cheerful attitude.  With out a repentent heart...even when offered mercy.  That road is filled with resentment and anger and many other things that drive the spirit away.  And what do we do for those we continue to pray for them and show love to them even if we know they will turn it away.  Relying wholly on the merits of our Savior trusting that he will make them whole....We always love and never judge!