The Journey of my practice

I’ve been on the list of people who volunteer for working at Polling stations for a while, but 1st May County council elections was the first time they picked me to work. It’s something I’ve wanted to do since I retired and it’s been an interesting and enjoyable experience .

After you get the offer and confirm your acceptance you have to do an compulsory online course , which you have to pass in order to work. The course is interesting and covers everything from rules about who can be there and how the lists and voting system work and which voters can and cannot be given a ballot paper. I had no idea there was such a thing as anonymous voters!

Five of us ran 2 polling stations within one building, all volunteers from different backgrounds, our presiding officer works as a Registrar, 2 of us were retired while the other 2 ran a travel company and the other had the potentially gruesome job of going into council houses to repossess them, which occasionally involves finding deceased occupants.

Our station had 1100 registered to vote, of which only 300 actually did so, a 28% turnout. 300 over 15 hours, 20 an hour, but in reality peaks and big troughs, a rush at the start, lunchtime, when the schools kicked out and around 7pm, our last voter squeezed in 30 seconds before 10pm when we officially closed. We spent most of 7:30pm until we closed chatting and doing a giant cryptic crossword.

You see all sorts of people, from people I know, to people I’ve worked with, to a couple who had a domestic bust up, with her throwing his ID document at him and storming out while yelling “you all see what I have to put up with at home!” Another old lady when asked for her ID couldn’t produce any and started loudly complaining she was our best customer having voted since the year dot and why couldn’t we just let her vote?

The funniest was a sweet old lady, who when asked for her ID produced a Tesco (British supermarket) loyalty card, saying they know who I am, to which my colleague jokingly replied “we only accept Waitrose” (posh supermarket) before pointing out that her bus pass would be acceptable.

10pm shut the door and begin the clear up, before heading home. The time passed much faster than I expected and I hope I’ll be picked again at some point.

#councilelections #hertfordshire #vote

So on 1st February I had the surgery on my left foot to remove the vascular lesion and the thorn capsule granuloma. It was done under a local anaesthetic, and all I can say about that, is that injections in the foot are fucking excruciatingly painful, yes I did yell out, the nurse was sitting on my leg after the first injection by the wound after I nearly took her head off, the second jab in the side of my foot was beyond painful, I nearly passed out, the nurse was yelling at me to breathe and I thought it was just yoga teachers who had to remind me to breathe!

Anyway it’s done, as you can see by the photo taken by the GP nurse it’s a deep hole 10x5mm and 4.6mm deep, which is going to take a while to fill itself in from the bottom up, it’s bloody sore to walk on, which I’m basically doing as little as possible of.

Yoga is basically AJ’s sitting practice and some handstands being careful to launch and land on the right foot. I can’t do much to warm up, I’ve tried doing seated and some backbends but not being able to warm up its not happening, I’ve also still got the trapped nerve in my wrist, which hopefully an acupuncturist is going to attend to in a weeks time.

So until further notice it’s box sets and tea for the forseeable

Happy New Year, to anyone who still reads along.

After ending 2023 with 2 eye surgeries and an 8 week yoga hiatus, I began 2024 with hope for a decent year. The hope lasted until February when a GP Nurse sent me for a chest X-ray and I got the call about potential cancer. A very stressful period ensued culminating in the awful Bronchoscopy collapse and resuscitation experience and the eventual diagnosis that the stuff in my lung was leftovers from the previous years pneumonia. Thanks particularly to V during this very stressful period.

My practice never seemed to get going last year and has certainly frustratingly regressed, before we came to September and the loss of consciousness in the shala while doing dropbacks with my teacher and the blood tests, monitoring , ENT appointments to try and find the cause, but it looks like Dr Sonia at the Shala was right, it was hot, I was dehydrated and hungry, low sugar and just a bit knackered.

And just as I felt like I was starting over for the third time this year the thorn from the summer that I thought had come out seems to still be in there. A hot water bottle waking it up, reopening the wound has left me in pain and discharging more blood than I can probably spare. In the week around Christmas I’ve attended the Gp three times, Urgent Care, another hospital and had an ultrasound.

The Ultrasound shows a 5mm ball of tissue surrounding whatever’s left of the thorn just below the surface, but nobody in the nhs seems willing to dig the thing out, to eventually get an appointment in the new year with dermatology I had to threaten to get a Stanley Knife and remove the thing myself! Every time I change the dressing it takes ages to stem the red tide, the record being 2 hours last Saturday when my kitchen turned into a bloody crime scene only lacking the chalk outline of a dead body, though if I lose much more blood that could be rectified.

So 2025 so far isn’t starting well, I just hope the NHS get their act together soon.

Update : It needs surgery and now I’m waiting for a date.

2025 does have some hope, in the summer I’m off to explore Chicago and add to my State magnet count by venturing into Wisconsin, Indiana and Michigan while I’m there, there’s also a couple of concert tickets booked for Enigma and Aurora.

I would never have discovered Auroras wonderful eclectic music if I hadn’t discovered the brilliant Anna Lapwood last year, the one concert I got to, and it was fantastic, and I had the chance to meet Anna after was one of the few highlights of the year. Anna played at Auroras concert in London and posted a clip on Instagram and I bought a ticket within minutes of hearing this one piece of music, I was so blown away, the next day I bought the album and it’s been playing on repeat ever since.

So I hope 2025 starts to improve, that my foot gets fixed and my practice comes back

Waking up last Tuesday to the sad news of Sharath’s very sudden passing was a shock to everyone in the Ashtanga community and more so to those of us who have spent months in Mysore practicing under his guidance who knew him a little. 53 is no age.

His passing gave me a massive sense of loss and being lost and suddenly vulnerable and it made me wonder is this the end of Ashtanga , it made me question why I was doing “the thing”, who was I doing it for? I couldn’t practice that day, I tried, but my little black cat must have sensed my feelings and promptly sat on my feet and wouldn’t move. The next day I went to the shala to shift the inertia, it was a strange atmosphere, but I just needed to be there.

Sharath always remembered my name and was quick to smile. Initially I wasn’t sure about him or going to Mysore and the whole circus around it. In April 2011 I’d sent in my application to KPJAYI and received my “You May come” email for the October, but I was still in 2 minds. Late August ’11 his circus came to London and after a week I warmed to him, his humour & somehow he knew my name. As we lined up for the obligatory photo on the Friday, I said to him, “see you in October “. On the Monday I handed my notice in at Nepotism UK Ltd, that was one huge black cloud lifting, getting out of that place.

I landed in Mysore and lined up to enrol, he said “Kevin you came”, before saying “4:30” as he handed me my shala pass and counted my money. I replied “4:30 afternoon?”, he had a big grin as he replied “4:30 morning”.

That was the beginning of a wonderful 3 months, he spent the first two months shouting across the shala “stand up Kevin” as I woefully failed to come up from my dropbacks, then that day, 21st November when I finally stood up on my own and he gave me a high five, before saying “do again”. The next day he told me to take Pasasana. My other abiding memory from that trip was lining up to pay for the second month and seeing my teacher Louise in front of me in the queue being given her Authorisation, I can still hear her saying “what me?” As Sharath slid the sheet of paper across the desk.

I returned to mysore in 2015 and practiced with him when he visited London, he always remembered me, but I was never to go to Mysore again, caring for parents, fractured arms, pandemics and if I’m honest the pull was no longer there, I’m not a teacher looking to be authorised and I get what I need from Hamish and Louise at AYL and the odd bit of input from AJ in Ann Arbor.

His passing leaves a huge hole in our lives, but more so in his young families . I hope the economy of Gokulam can survive, the hundreds of locals who made an income from the hundreds of yoga students renting rooms, eating in the cafes and buying stuff in the myriad shops set up to cater for our needs, the chocolate man obviously being the most important

Since that day it’s been a journey to say the least, more tests, Bloods, ECG, but after all that it is scarring from the pneumonia and not anything more worrying. A massive dose of antibiotics has mostly cleared up the cough but killed my stomach, thankfully the brilliant Janie fixed it.

After the diagnosis Janie also gave me some great advice, to do what I want and do what makes me happy.

That means yoga, travel and concerts. Yoga has taken a while to get going again and some days I’m sadly lacking in energy. I’ve been doing different movements to try and feel better, Barre fitness , I’m extremely uncoordinated, but it’s fun and engages the brain and handstand classes with Hanna, first class online at the end of April couldn’t get off the ground, mid July in person class she had me doing one in the middle of the room. It’s hard work, Hanna says hours and hours of practice and drills for seconds of joy and balance.

A trip to New York at the end of May, hanging with Suzanne, exploring her city.

Back here I tested my lung by climbing London’s Big Ben, 334 steps, something that’s been on my bucket list for a long time.

I failed to get a ticket for Florence Welch proms concert at the RAH in September, if anyones got a spare please get in touch, but I did get one for the brilliant organist Anna Lapwood at John Smiths hall in Westminster . Anna has made organ music accessible with her versions of music like Chevaliers de Sangreal, aka The Davinci code and Interstellar. After the concert she invites the audience to meet her.

Well like the Donald it looks like I’ve dodged a bullet and I’m trying to follow Janie’s advice. I made the decision to finally give up work and retire fully, no part time gigs, just the voluntary Toyhub . Next month I hit the big Six – O and go to Prague.

Not that anyone who has actually died , would be able to give me an answer to that question, obviously !

So yoga has been coming back since the pre Christmas hiatus, finally doing Kapo again and getting some control of the dropbacks.

I saw the hospital doctor 10 days ago to discuss the CT scan and lung function test, again said not cancer, but there is something going on and put me down for more bloods and a bronchoscopy, which would be scheduled in the next few months, I actually received a follow up appointment for July, so figured I could forget about it for a while. Suddenly last Wednesday afternoon a call from the hospital, they want to do the bronchoscopy at 9am the next morning, wtf . Nil by mouth from midnight because of the sedation, ok let’s get this done.

8am next morning I’m checked in, dressed in a nifty gown and a lovely French nurse comes to insert the cannula after attaching me to monitors for BP , pulse, oxygen etc, only problem is I’m dehydrated from 12 hours NBM and every vein collapses after she inserts the needle,,I’m fine with needles, I give blood and love watching it fill up the bag. Suddenly I feel really sick and feel myself sliding down the bed and then the lights go out and I’m completely unconscious, is that slipping away what death is like?

At some point, no idea how long, I’m vaguely in the room, there’s a light flashing above the bed and an alarm screeching, I’m surrounded by 10 staff and the crash team, I’ve no idea what they did to get me back on the planet, but I’ve got a pain in the side of my rib cage, the nurse tells me my blood pressure and pulse went through the floor and she hit the “All hell let’s loose button” by the bed , I’m glad she did.

So finally the canula is in and I’m wheeled into Theatre for the Bronchoscopy job, a Doctor called Fred, huge tall guy stands over me and smiling says, “you scared the crap out of a lot of people”.

Well it’s done now, I just hope they find an answer from the all tests to what’s going on and don’t keep me waiting too long for an answer. But the more I think about what happened the more aware I’m becoming of the vulnerability of living home alone, if my lights went out at home like that, who is going to hit the button and come running to my rescue.

After getting over the eye surgeries and surviving the 8 weeks of rehab inactivity I finally got back on my mat in early December. I can’t lie , it’s been a slog, it’s felt so much harder to get going again after surgery.

A lack of energy, a real fall off in my general fitness and touching my toes was difficult. Eventually mid January I started to get some feeling of improvement, L said to take it easy, one Sunday she actually stopped me after Primary, she’s never done that before, I was laying prone on my mat considering my options. L said it’s always harder to get going again in the winter when it’s cold and body’s are stiff.

February I’m finally off the ground in Urdva Dhanurasana and doing some intermediate,then I get a call from my GP requesting my attendance to a 5 yearly health check. A surprise , a young, enthusiastic nurse who gets that Ashtanga isn’t just sitting going ommmmmm, she tests everything, BP, BMI, diet, exercise and takes a load of blood, cholesterol hasn’t changed in 30 years. She picks up on my never ending cough and after she’s finished torturing me makes me see a GP about the cough, who sends me for an chest X-ray, 3 days later they call to say they found a 17mm nodule on my right lung on the X-ray and that I need an urgent CT scan for cancer, I only realise how urgent when the radiologist calls the next morning to call me in.

To say it’s been a fraught, sleepless 2 weeks waiting for the results and the potential consequences of surgery, chemo and who knows what else is an understatement, googling nodules hasn’t helped quieten my mind either. Monday there’s a report been added to my nhs record, its full of medical jargon which googling doesn’t help to translate, I’m invited for a telephone consultation to discuss the results, but there are no appointments available for 3 days, I’m going out of my mind, I’m not sleeping with worry

Finally this afternoon they call, the good news is no cancer, but there is some thickening of fibre in the lung and a renal cyst, so I’m not dead yet, as Phil Collins once called his tour, but it sounds like I still have a way to go.

Thanks to those who have been in my corner the last two weeks offering an ear and support, Janie, Vanessa, Michelle and Jayne and Suzanne

I am now in the time of post operative “NO”, which after having the two eye operations on consecutive Mondays means doing nothing that raises blood pressure or pressure in the eyes. No lifting, no bending down, no shopping, no garden stuff, and obviously no meaningful Ashtanga, oh and no flying, so I can’t even rest somewhere sunny and warmer than here, where it’s turned bloody cold and wet.

The surgeries went ok, I’m just left with a right eye that feels gritty and a left eye that feels sticky and needs coaxing open every morning with careful use of warm water, then it’s just the 4 times a day eye drops, my strike rate isn’t good on my own, sometimes it takes 3 attempts to get one in, any friends who visit get the honour of trying to score a bullseye, as they can see what I can’t.

It’s been a weird year, the highlight was dancing with Florence and 20,000 Paddies on a wet night in Belfast, the rest of the year has seen pneumonia, two jobs go through no fault of mine and two totally unexpected operations.

I’m now a stir crazy Ashtangi with excellent distance vision, but relying on a pair of cheapo ASDA reading glasses until the surgery follow up and sign off 6 weeks post op, when I can see the optician. Weirdly I’m allowed to donate blood in the interim but not go to the Dentist, no idea!

I can’t wait to return to the shala, though what my body will make of that is another matter.

Thanks to diligently doing the Physiotherapists exercises and not doing things that piss the wrist off for the last 6 weeks or so, it’s definitely getting there.

However the older I get the more life seems to be one step forward and two steps back. The (relatively) new job requires me to read lists on paper and use a computer with an ancient excel type program, reading both has been a struggle. I went to the optician expecting new glasses , I came away with referrals for a laser surgery on the left eye and a cataract operation on the right, so now I’m in Rishi’s backlog of 7 million and struggling. Once a cataract is confirmed you can’t not see the bloody thing and however many times you close and open your eyes to try and clear the mist it’s still there.

It’s becoming unsustainable at work, despite the Boss kindly making the fonts as big and bold as possible. I’ve actually had the initial hospital consultation and now I’m in the queue for round two, then wait round three when surgery happens. It’s looking like I’ll have to can the job fairly soon, I’m only part time, but after 4 hours I’m going home to a splitting headache and streaming strained eyes, not sure I can manage this much longer with the surgery so far away.

Practice is erratic, but without my glasses on at the shala it’s always been a bit of a blur anyway, so the eye issues don’t make any difference. I’m not looking forward to what I know will be an enforced 6-8 weeks off practice and much else post op, I remember the list of things not to do from last time, no exercise, no yoga, nothing to up the blood pressure, no bending down, no grocery shopping, nothing where the head is below the heart, no rubbing eyes when you wake up, which is such an automatic thing to do and as for trying to do the 3 times a day bloody eye drops on my own, that’s another nightmare.

6 weeks or so ago I did the Saturday led class at the Shala, Louise led is nice and steady. Steadily I went until I got to Utita Hasta balance at the end of standing, as I put my leg outwards on the second side, suddenly a gun shot sound emanated from my left wrist and a pain that went right through my arm.

Ive left it a while in the hope that it would just get better on its own, but UHP is impossible, as is lifting the kettle, which is obviously even more serious! My pinky finger and the one next to it aren’t working either, so C at the local Shala advised me to see “someone”. Luckily our local shala has an occasional Assistant in the shape of local physiotherapist Rachel, which made explaining how I did it a lot easier.

After a very thorough and pretty uncomfortable examination she came to the the conclusion that I’ve managed to rupture my Flexor Digitorum Profundus muscle, which also explains why my fingers have stopped working.

I now have exercises plus a tub of therapy putty plus a load of “don’t do’s”, as in no pulling ie doors open, no holding my iPad in my left hand like I usually do, no asanas that pull on the hand. She’s given me 2-3 weeks to see if the regime improves things, if not apparently I’ll need a scan and possibly a small surgery to re attach the thing.

Surprisingly most of practice is still doable, pushing on the hand in down dog or pushing up into backbend is fine, as R says I’m not using that muscle much, it’s binds where I’m grabbing on, the bum balances that I need to avoid.

It’s such a stupid nonsensical injury