Moving is…

Tiring!  My two brothers helped me today move big things and I’m so thankful. But I’m also realizing how much stuff I have since this apartment is going to be smaller than my current one.  I’m going to big-time giveaway stuff that I don’t need or I don’t use. I’m going to have to push myself to do it.  

Today I sent my little brother home with a small piece of furniture, yay!! I am second-guessing myself and wondering if this was a good thing.  But I really know it is I’m just still in the change process and I don’t do well with change- which makes me proud of myself because I jumped in and did it And did not think too much about it. There is a saying, ‘jump and the net will appear’  and I have to believe that that will happen. It will all work out for the positive.  Positive vibes accepted!   Thanks! 

Mardi Gras, yall

Write a journal entry or poem inspired by what you can’t see..

–The future. It’s you’ll never see it coming. You cAnt stop it and many times you want to. This all encompassing entity is coming wether we like it or not, and we can never see it.

——I have been Mardi Gras’ing all day today. Parades and fair, and beer and beads and busted up feet from walking in uncomfortable but inexpensive and very cute sandals.

Ice’pocalypse 2018.

I think it’s a well known fact/assumption/duuhhh that us in the south don’t have a firm grasp on driving during winter and it’s understood that even the slightest ice/snow/sleet will send us into a tizzy. We don’t do salt trucks or calcium chloride over here like it’s common In the north. (Or whatever else is used, I’m not familiar…that’s the point). Therefore, schools especially, are shut down. We are not equipped to tow parents’ precious goods across the icy roads.

There have been roads shut down and a few wrecks. And an even bigger tragedy in a neighboring town. 😔 Oh and I watched a neighbor buss it big time walking on the cement next door. She was fine but had a wet bottom and a little embarrassed. I asked if she was okay before I quietly giggled to myself.

Well, I work in the school system and Today begins day 3 of the Ice hostage situation. Which comes on the back end of the Martin Luther King Jr holiday. That means we have been cooped up for 4 days. What do you do for four days? You EAT, yes that’s right. Like a heffer, you eat without reservation. No pun intended. Last week and just this past Monday, I found great sales on meat at my local grocery–it’s just about a mile down the road. For Monday and Tuesday, I took advantage of the meat sale and have put up some Boston butt pork steaks and rib meat pork chops in my freezer. (About 9 pork chops and 3 Boston butt pork steaks for $8. Whaaaa!?!!) (note, this grocery trip is separate from what I found last week, more pork chops on sale. I normally don’t do pork chops–especially bone in…reason being…I am so lazy with food. If I have to cut the meat around the bone, I ain’t doin it. But I’ve since learned that if I cook the meat down for hours and hours, the meat just slides from the bone. Winnnn! ). My freezer is literally stuffed. Honestly had to move things around to get the door to shut.

Anyway I cooked Monday, in my cast iron, seasoned pork chops smothered down with onions and peppers and added a half head of cabbage and potatoes. I actually had to split up the food into my Big cast iron pot and my slow cooker bc it was so much food. I am still nursing the pork chops, cabbage and potatoes goodness in the cast iron. I’m getting ready to set it heating up on the stove for a delicious brunch. All the while, I am weighing myself since it’s the start of the new year. Such opposites, cooking and eating comfort food and still expecting the pounds to drop off.

Anyway..this has been my days…cooking, eating, reading, scrabble, word press, Facebook, and a tiny amount of indoor exercise. Emphasis on the word ‘tiny.’ And I’m about to fire up the stove for more. Here’s a snippet of the pork chop goodness on my stove along with my bird feeder drooping from the heavy weight of the icicles.

Today I Learned That Not Everyone Has An Internal Monologue And It Has Ruined My Day.

Wow. I’ve never thought this was an issue…I’d this for real?

InsideMyMind's avatarInside My Mind

UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_13d2My day was completely ruined yesterday when I stumbled upon a fun fact that absolutely obliterated my mind. I saw this tweet yesterday that said that not everyone has an internal monologue in their head. All my life, I could hear my voice in my head and speak in full sentences as if I was talking out loud. I thought everyone experienced this, so I did not believe that it could be true at that time.

Literally the first person I asked was a classmate of mine who said that she can not “hear” her voice in her mind. I asked her if she could have a conversation with herself in her head and she looked at me funny like I was the weird one in this situation. So I began to become more intrigued. Most people I asked said that they have this internal monologue that is running…

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What else is there?

Life is a series of choices. Daily habits. It’s a culmination of what I do on a day to day basis and no amount of wishing and hoping will change unless I commit and make a choice. Emotions are so powerful. I’m familiar and comfortable with negative emotions. I subconsciously set myself up to expect them. it’s a defense mechanism. And I literally smother with fear when I’m feeling these things. I do this to myself. I know this, But I also know the possibility of positive emotions. That is a seed, nourished along a lifelong journey. What can I do except just do it. Whatever ‘it’ is. Well, My mind tells me to be content with my comfortable space. Some say life is not meant to be comfortable. It may be like that for some, but for me, I feel like I don’t need a bunch, i don’t need to be spectacular to exist. Not that I think I am unspectacular. I’m awesome, I know it. But Sometimes I shrink myself because I’m so fearful of failure. Holy shit, I know this. I don’t try because I am afraid to fail. That is what I do.

Our minds are so strong. So, so strong. We need to feed it good things. Only positive allowed. One thing I know, I will always, always put one foot in front of the other. That’s when I say–“what else can I do?”

Plans

As I sit And go about the menial tasks of my day, Many times, my mind stretches out. I try to will myself into another dimension of living. Where is the change that I need, that I am searching for? Is me thinking about it..a sign of it starting to erupt inside ? When will it break through? Many times, I get overwhelmed by just thinking and the plans wilt until my next burst of magic. Don’t stop striving. Always keep pushing.

So true

Saw this on a Facebook page tonight. It’s called spiritual gangster certified. Cool page name, and I like the post. Hope everyone is well 💕

“We always think we have time when the truth is time waits for no one.

Our human construct of time makes us believe there will be plenty of it to live and to love. We spend far too much time living in the future and not the present.

I encourage everyone to live and love IN THE NOW.

Tell the people you love that you love them. Show them you care. Cherish people while you can. If you wait it might be too late and next thing you know you’ll have to “see em next lifetime”. No one’s perfect, but if there’s someone you love, don’t forget to say it and show it NOW.”

– Janét, Spiritual gangsta certified