Thankful...

I've decided that for the last few weeks of 2007 I'm going to post about the things that I'm thankful for. I'm not going to rank them, 'cause I'm not actually a ranking kind of person. Really. Just ask me what my favorite book, song, or movie is and you'll get a lot of hemming and hawing and then a list. I just can't narrow these things down. So, ahem. . .

Things I am thankful for 2007 edition:

*I was born into a family of spectacularly witty and intelligent people. Really. You should read our emails some time.

*My parents live within easy driving distance and have a REALLY comfortable guest bed. That bed is better than my own.

*Toby Stephens is alive and decided to be an actor so that I can see him whenever
I want!


* I have friends who love me enough to create "The Man Plan"

* I teach some of the most spectacular people on the planet.

* I don't have to pretend that my nieces and nephews are cute.
See exhibits A, B,and C:


(I could go on and on, as I have 10 nieces and nephews, but I don't want you to be jealous)

Don't you just love it

When your boss doesn't do his job and then screams at you as if it's your fault? No? Me either.

Also, don't you love it when your boss sends you a nasty email, but thoughtfully copies it to other people so they also know what a jerk he is? Yes? Me too.

It's been a rough day.

I wonder why she didn't win. . .

Hey, if you haven't seen this yet. . . check it out:



The part I like best is when she's dodging the laser beams, or the part where she's playing the trumpet really badly, or the part where she has tinsel on her arms. . . Oh heck I just love the whole darn thing.

Have I mentioned lately

that I love Toby Stephens? No? Ok.

You're a mean one. . . Crabbygrinch Snottypants

I'm down to 8 1/2 days left of school before Winter Break. It's a rough time of year as any school teacher knows. I'm getting crabbier as the days go by. The horrible thing is that my kids are getting loonier with each passing day. That makes me crabbier, which makes them loonier and on and on until what might happen is that I won't get any Christmas presents from my students this year. I better be on my best behavior until the weekend, when most parents traditionally shop for teacher gifts. I've become quite fond of teacher gifts now that I teach at a school where you actually recieve them. Of course I mostly get Starbucks gift cards, which don't do me any good, but do make my friend across the hall who recieves them very happy.

Of course, this all makes me sound really mercenary and materialistic, doesn't it? I need to remember the lesson from How the Grinch Stole Christmas "Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!" I'll have to think about that one.



I've tried to include a link to creating your own grinch name, but I keep getting a nasty "FORBIDDEN" notice. This is not helping my crabbiness, let me tell you! Anyway, for those of you who can find it, try it out. I loved my own name, included in my title: Crabbygrinch Snottypants!! It's like that generator looked into my soul.

One HOUR late. . .

I woke up at 6:30 this morning. That may seem unremarkable, but let me tell you this little tidbit: my school starts at 7:00 and I have a 15 minute drive. Added to that is the fact that I looked like this:
So, let me tell you that I wasn't singing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" like I usually do when I ran like a mad woman around my apartment getting ready this morning.

Luckily I was raised by my father who thinks that the time for everyone to be ready to go anywhere (but mostly on our family vacations) is when he is ready, never mind what time we had agreed to in committee the night before. I remember more than one vacation beginning by being woken up at some unholy hour and being told that we needed to be ready and out in the car in 15 minutes. (I am NOT lying about this,and my siblings should feel free to chime in!)

So although I woke up an hour late, I was ready to go in 15 minutes, and I was able to tame the wild beast that is my hair. See all of you men out there in cyberspace? I am SUCH a catch! Why do I need a man plan?

Unfortunately, yes, this is me.

Apparently an cartoonist has created a poster documenting 56 types of geeks. Lest you think you won't find yourself there. . . I dare you to look. I found myself on the FIRST ROW!!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/scottjohnson/sets/72157601200807582/

Oh, and by the way, my students are having a Socratic Seminar today and I'm trying to stay out of it. Hence, the additional posts.

Enjoy!

One reason why you don't need to ask if my next dog will be a corgi. . .

13 days and counting. . .

Well, I have 13 more days of school before Winter Break. Yes, I "get" to work until December 21 this year. I'm actually excited that I have so much time after Christmas and New Years this year. I know I'll get my Christmas stuff done. I love Christmas too much not too, and when I have to go back January 2 or 3 I'm still so tired from travel, etc. that I almost feel like I haven't had a break at all. That being said, to have four weeks between Thanksgiving and Winter Break has to be some kind of cruel and unusual punishment. Seriously, I'm loopy, the kids are loopy. . . it's a bad picture all around. To top that, I get to teach my LEAST favorite work of literature for the year, Antigone, in the two weeks prior to our break. Oh well, let's get it done.

Added to all of this loveliness is the fact that we've had more wackiness going on at my school in the past few weeks than I've ever experienced as a teacher. Right before Thanksgiving, we lost our server and therefore all access to our computers for 2 days. Then, on the day before Thanksgiving, when I was showing a MOVIE, we lost power at 10:00 am because the geniuses who are building next door cut our power by accident. Because I teach at a magnet school and our students come from all over the valley, the district refused to cancel school. What do we learn from this kids? That BUSES and MONEY are more important than our students and teachers. Then, last Friday, We got the announcement mid-day that we did not have any water in the school because the super genius construction workers cracked the pipe delivering water to our school. So, we had NO bathrooms or running water of any kind. I thought, "Surely the district can't refuse to send our kids home now!" Wrong again. Instead, our amazing custodial staff drove to Walmart to get 100 gallons of water so that our kids could use the restroom and pour water down the toilets in order to make them flush. WHAT??? This can NOT be legal.

My question is, where are all of the parents with pitchforks demanding the district send our kids home under these conditions??

Monday morning I arrived at the school to see that one of our classrooms is shut down because a barometer broke causing a mercury spill, and that same afternoon the super brilliant contruction workers next door once again cracked the water pipe causing us to lose water.

Some of us have decided that locusts are next. I guess a little freshman asked one of my department members, "Is it always like this at our school?" No, little one. . . it's not our school. . . IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

The man who grew roots

Ok, so I went to this site yesterday through another blog I love (passiveaggressivenotes.com) and saw something that I have NOT been able to get out of my mind since. Go there and watch it if you dare. But, I warn you, it's icky and you won't be able to forget it.

http://www.kirchersociety.org/

Watch the video posting from the Telegraph.

Good Day.

Amen, Sister!

“I'm... absolutely crazy about this particular man I just met and had two fabulous dinners with in the space of one week. A man who hasn't had the courtesy to call me today probably because he's simply of the undependable gender . . . So he'll just... drift away like the legion of other cowards for whom I spent my young life staring at the phone like an exquisite collie hoping for table scraps until I became successful and suddenly I started to scare them --- scare them with the very independence they required me to have, so that now I'm looking at some bad numbers, really rough stuff if you know what I'm talking about.”

-C J. Craig, The West Wing “Faith Based Initiative"

Defending Alex's honor

In the interest of defending the honor of my boyfriend Alex Ryan, I submit the following video:



'Nuff said. . .and yes, he does wax his chest. . . get over it.

The new boyfriend

I just wanted you all to meet my new boyfriend. His name is Alex, and he's from Australia. We met at my public library, and although I thought he was obnoxious at first, I couldn't help falling in love. Of course, we have a few hurdles to get over, like his excessive love of home brewed beer, tank tops, and tight jeans. These are things I can get past. The thing that's really getting in our way is that he's a fictional character from an Australian tv show, but I think that we might be able to find a way to work around that. Our relationship is that strong.

News Flash: Jill is 29 years old. . .

Hey everyone,
I need to print (is that the appropriate term considering this is an entirely digital medium? I've thought about this more than you'd think and I couldn't come up with a better way to put it so there you go. You get the word print and a frightening little window into my thought processes.)a retraction.

I wrote in my entry entitled "Sarah Jessica Parker and me. . . Practically Twins" that my friend Jill was 30 and officially old. This was a joke on my part to see if she was reading my blog. Jill is in all actuality 29 years old which is a whole year younger than 30. I want that to go on record.

So now, I have to say, my friend Jill is only 29 and not yet officially old. She is still just kinda old. So there!!

The best laid plans. . .

You should always have a backup plan. That's my lesson for the week.

I spent last weekend setting up blogs for my students with my brother. We both got very excited about how brilliant and talented we are. I linked the blogs with my website so that it will be easy for my students to find the blogs, and set them up to be private. Then, I wrote my lesson plans to include a day for getting on the computers and look over the blogs as well as set up student accounts in turnitin.com, a lovely plagarism site.

Well, I didn't sleep more than 3 hours Thursday night (fun with insomnia!) but thought, "No big deal, my kids will be playing around on the internet tomorrow, I can handle that with no sleep." I got to school a bit earlier than usual, and opened my school email to find that the internet was down and would be all day. FUN!!! So, on my 3 hours of sleep I had to come up with a completely different lesson plan. I never realized how much I rely on the internet until I didn't have it to help me. We'd just finished Of Mice and Men the day before, so I decided that we'd analyze the part of "To a Mouse" by Robert Burns where Steinbeck got his title. I sat down at my computer to search for the poem when I realized (duh) again that the internet didn't work. I had to use (gasp!) books! Luckily, I still have my handy dandy Norton Anthologies of English Literature volumes I and II from my days as an English major at BYU. For those of you who weren't English majors, Norton Anthologies are very heavy books with so much literature packed inside that the pages are almost as thin as tissue paper and the print is almost microscopic. I had a love/hate relationship with them while I was in college, especially the semester when I had to carry three such anthologies on Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays.

Yesterday, it was all love baby. I found the poem, typed it in larger print, made copies, and viola! I had a lesson plan. The irony that they were analyzing a poem with the lines "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men/go oft awry." did not escape me. . . trust me.

My students did a great job analyzing and connecting the poem to the novel, I got their email addresses for the blogs, and I got a LOT of work done because I didn't have the internet to distract me. I never realized how much time I waste in a day, and I must say, I'm a bit ashamed.

Well, I've got to go to YouTube and watch some videos... catch you later.

Sarah Jessica Parker and me. . . practically twins!

Hey, I don't usually use my vast blogging influence to plug products, and I want you to know that I'm not getting any kick backs for the following testimonial.

I'm in love. Yes. It's true. A couple of weekends ago my friend and I decided to celebrate Nevada Day (Yep, it's a real thing. . . and we got off of work for it) by getting the heck out of Nevada. We went to Southern California to visit old friends (literally, my friend Jill is now 30 and officially old) and to be in California. We had a great time both days, but on Saturday, we went shopping in Pasadena and I got to visit a little place I like to call Lush, 'cause that's it's name.



for those of you who've never had the pleasure of visiting Lush, it is a wonderland of skin care. I bought a couple of bath bombs (there's little in life that I like as much as a good bath). One is called the "Butter Ball". For a little holiday variety they've made a version of the bomb in the shape of a snowman called "Mr. Butterball". I bought this one 'cause it was cheaper, and I'm kinda cheap. When I first visited Lush with my best friend a few years ago we were informed that this particular bath bomb is one preferred by Sarah Jessica Parker. Now, I've never met the woman, so I don't know how the recommendation was supposed to impress me. I'm going to have to take it on faith and the word of a girl with multiple piercings and blue hair that her skin is silky and smooth as a baby's bottom.

Lest some of my readers think I can be won over with this Hollywood tabloid salesmanship (you know who you are. . . )I didn't buy the bomb because of that recommendation, but rather because it promised me silky soft skin.

Last night I used "Mr. Butterball" for my bath. Unlike every man in my life (other than my dear father and brothers) Mr. Butterball lived up to every promise he made me. My skin is so silky and smooth that I couldn't resist stroking my own arms from time to time today when no one was looking (I hope).

I"m decided that even though I'd have to go through life with the unfortunate name Mrs. Butterball, and my husband would be in the Las Vegas sewer system as we speak, I want to marry Mr. Butterball. I do. Maybe THIS is the answer to the Man Plan.

Group Humiliation

Today was our Homecoming Pep Assembly today. First of all, let me remind you fair readers, I work at a magnet school. We don't have any sports teams. We are nerds. We are quiet when the teachers ask us to be and we remain seated when asked to do so. All of this makes our school is a great place to work, but not for the greatest assemblies in the world. Today's was pretty good. We were introduced to the nominees for the Homecoming court (two of my AVID kids are nominated. Whoot!), we had some cross dressing competition (yeah, you read that correctly) and then. . . . . . . the teachers were paraded out in front to dance the Cha Cha Slide. I tried frantically to be on the back row, but everyone else had the same idea and I was shoved out front by a member of our Computer Science department. Let me tell you something: I can dance. Really. I can. I'm rather proud of that. That being said, I don't do line dancing or dancing with specific directions. Sooooo I was worried.



Anyway, several students stopped by to tell me that I looked good. . . compared to the other teachers. One of my AVID students said, "You can dance. I DID NOT expect that from YOU." translation: "I thought you were like all of the other middle-aged (in my 30's) white women I know." It reminded me of a recent conversation my sister had with her 6 year old daughter. My niece found my sister's high school cheerleading uniform and said to her, "I just can NOT imagine you like that, you're going to have to show me a picture because I just can NOT imagine you that way at all." Nice to know how old we all are.

Of course, later I was informed by two 17 year old girls that I could pass for 25 and they did NOT understand why I couldn't find myself a husband. They offered me suggestions, "Maybe you could find one at church." "Maybe you could marry my graphics teacher." I'm glad they're worried about me. Is this the Man Plan part 3?

The agony of defeat

Hey everyone,
First off, may I say "Thank you!" to all of my commenters who've heaped hyperbolic praise upon me after my last post. I appreciate the attagirls. However, after filling out 13 AVID academic probation contracts, I don't know if it's deserved. I'm feeling like a wee little failure this morning, in fact.

I don't know what to do at this point. Some of these kids are failing 4 and 5 classes. FOUR AND FIVE!! What is going on? Are they listening to me AT ALL? Am I saying the right things? Doing anything of value? Grrr!! Here's the truth about teaching. For every minute spent basking in the wonderful parts (and they are truly wonderful) you spend five doubting every single thing you do. Luckily the good parts are so mind bogglingly beautiful that the ugliness doesn't seem so bad. . . later, when you think back.

So, I'll just say it: Don't praise me too quickly, I've got a lot of room to grow. . .

Tick Tock

We had an AVID party after school today. It was a rousing success. My sophomores have wanted to have a get together since the beginning of the year to meet the AVID Freshmen and impart their wisdom. I have had so much on my plate that it got put off until today. The Student Council pitched in and paid for pizza and veggies, and the kids came and had a great time. A few of my girls talked about starting an AVID club, others offered help and advice. I was so proud of my kids that I could hardly stand it. When the party ended one of my kids was waiting for me. He said, "Is there any way you can give me a ride home? There are some gangsters waiting for me at the light on the corner and I want to make it home in one piece." I decided that I'd rather break the rule against being alone with students than see him hurt in any way. I knew that he lived in a rough neighborhood, but was unprepared for him to look at my salmon colored shirt and decide that it was not red enough to get me killed (his neighborhood is controlled by the Crips), or ride in the back scrunched down as we drove past the light in question. I love this kid and feel a renewed desire to help my AVID kids do what they need to do in order to change their lives. I want them to have the option of living in a safe neighborhood and for their children to know a life that doesn't involve life or death decisions on their walk home.



On the way to my student's house he asked me, "What do you DO when you leave school?" I replied that I lived my life, cleaned the house, ran errands, took classes at UNLV, etc. He then said, "Do you have kids?" I thought we'd covered this, but when I replied that I did not, in fact, have kids he lectured me for about 5 minutes straight about how old I was getting and that I needed to get to work "popping out some babies before it's too late." Nothing like a 16 year-old kid's perspective to make you feel decrepit and dried up.

Hey Toby you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. . .

I'm showing part of the Masterpiece Theatre version of Jane Eyre to my students today. I don't normally show movies as it's a real waste of time. (Newsflash to everyone who thought your teacher didn't know that in high school. . . they showed you movies more for themselves than for you. . . I promise) However, we administered the PSAT on Wednesday and that meant that one of my classes didn't meet for block day this week. I didn't want my classes to get out of sync, so I'm showing Jane.

For those of you who don't know, a new version of Jane Eyre was made last year starring the absolutely hunkalicious Toby Stephens. My friend MaryAnna and I watched it together last year and I had to control my impulse to squeal with delight every time Toby appeared onscreen. He's so scrumptious, in fact, that I tracked down every last movie he's been in on Netflix and even (ooooooh the shame) went on fansites where the other crazies like me refer to themselves as "Tobettes". Yes. Tobettes. This is my sad, sad, tribe.

FYI: the miniseries is really good (not just the Toby parts) and I highly recommend it.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I brought in clips from two different film versions so that my students could compare, contrast, and evaluate their effectiveness. Several of my female students came up to me with stars in their eyes and whispered reverently "Who was playing Rochester in the second clip?" I happily told them it was my boyfriend Toby (if only he knew. . . I know he could love me.). One of my male students said he thought Rochester was too handsome, but the girls and I said we were ok with that.

(I have a couple of girls who were in love with Rochester before they ever saw Toby, so I'm feeling ok with things. One of them has even drawn little hearts with Mr. Rochester + Maggie in them. This is perhaps the cutest thing I've seen in my 9 years as an English teacher. Talk about connecting with literature!! I told her she wasn't alone, that women have been falling in love with bad boy Edward Rochester for over 100 years.)

Today when I told them we'd be watching Jane, those same girls came up to me and asked, "We're watching the one with the HOT Rochester, right?" Of course!!!!!!

This is why I love my job. I get to watch Toby Stephens in the name of education. I wish I could explain my Johnny Depp posters (Yes, I have two posters of Johnny in my classroom) with as much dignity.

Mr. (Frank Lloyd) Wright

The wedding was wonderful. I was fat, and yet enjoyed myself. Of course as soon as I look at any pictures taken on the day I'll want to pluck out my own eyes in sorrow, but nonetheless, I had a lot of fun. It was wonderful to see old friends and feel as if no time had passed.

Because I got a REALLY smoking deal on the plane ticket, I had to hang around for a day after the wedding, and my friend Carren stayed in West Virginia to hang out. We drove to Pennsylvania to see the amazing Fallingwater by Frank Lloyd Wright. Added to our fun was the fact that our friends Craig and Morris had also decided to visit Fallingwater. Carren and I went for a tour of the house, while the guys rambled around the grounds.

I am amazed and astounded by this house. I got to go with Melissa to see it seven years ago, and it stuck with me. I can't quite put into words the why or what, but there's something about walking through a work of art. I'm amazed by the genius that it takes to create something of such practical beauty.

So, it's official: I have a crush on Frank Lloyd Wright.

After our tour of Fallingwater, we drove to the adorable town of Ohiopyle Pennsylvania to eat lunch. Ohiopyle's entire economy seems to be based on Kayaking and it's proximity to Fallingwater. Craig and I decided that we wanted to live in a place this beautiful. . . and that perhaps working for a non-profit (him) or in public education (me) might not be the way to go. Oh well.

I can't say that I missed work or my students while I was gone, but I can happily inform you that this morning when I returned to work I was truly happy to be there. Also, the substitute was a real jerk to my kids so they were SUPER happy to have me back. That's always nice.

Chubophobia: The fear of seeing friends when fat.

Hey everyone,
I get to fly cross country this coming Friday to attend the wedding of one of my most favorite people in the entire world. I couldn't be more excited to see old friends and be a part of my dear friend's wedding day, but I am really afraid. . . you see. . . in the past 2 years I've regained 35 of the 70 pounds I lost during the 2 years before that. I know that the people who I'm going to see love me and won't care if I don't look as cute as I wish I did, but I hate that I do. Really. I feel like such a failure and have reverted to many of my old fat habits: hiding from cameras and avoiding situations with new people. I hate that my current self image issues are clouding my excitement about seeing people that I love.

So, I'm getting over it, packing all my mumus and the big veil to hide my double chins and practicing the stop, drop, and roll Dick roll maneuver I'll need to avoid any and all cameras. It will be fun. . . I'm sure of it.

The Man Plan take 2

Hey everyone,
I know it's been a long time since I've updated, and I apologize. I will say in my defense that it's been a long couple of weeks. I've been insanely busy and sick, so that makes for little to no time for any writing. Sorry. Today, however, I'm feeling pretty good, so I thought I'd update.

I am happy to say that as of yesterday morning I've hired 3 AVID tutors. This makes for a much happier me, and for fewer insomniac nights. That's a good thing for everyone, since I'm apparently as pleasant as Sasquatch with a head cold when I don't sleep. This was helpfully pointed out to me by my lovely students last year, so I'm trying to sleep at night for their sakes.

My AVID kids are continuing to behave beautifully, and I'm trying to trust in this miraculous change rather than waiting for the other shoe to fall. Of course, there's always a fly in the ointment, and for me, it's Cody (not his real name). Cody is a kid who I really wanted to kick out of AVID last year, but didn't have enough documentation to do so. Anyway, two of my students came to me this week and told me that he was goofing off during Chemistry instead of working on the lab and they were ticked off. I called him back to talk to him about it, and even though I had the word of two different students and could tell him exactly what he had done, he would NOT cop to it. I could not get a straight answer out of him no matter what I did. In fact, I even phrased questions so that the only possible answers would be yes or no. All to no avail. I think the thing that makes me the craziest about this is that he thinks he's outsmarted me. Let me just tell you that the day that Cody outsmarts me is the day that I will quite simply have to leap off a bridge or very tall building and fall to my very gruesome and bloody death, because I won't have anything left to live for. Rocket scientist he ain't. Added to this is the fact that two other teachers have emailed me to let me know that he refuses to follow directions and isn't completing his work. FUN FOR ME!

I've begun the great Jane Eyre experiment with my English classes. Every year I try to do something that's new and a little scary, and this year it's tackling Jane Eyre in a boy heavy school. I decided that the curriculum for 10th grade is just so male and dire that I had to throw in something by and about a woman with a happy ending. So there. Plus, I love Jane and the book to little bits and pieces. So far, although some of my students hate it (mostly boys) I'm getting positive feedback, and I love hearing from my female students how much they love the book and admire Jane as a person. We'll see how it goes.

My friend is still on the "let's get you a nice fella" idea, which she has now dubbed "The Man Plan". Her most recent idea is that I should come to the school at night and not turn off the alarm to see if any cute, single Mormon police officers show up to arrest me. She did admit that there were flaws in the plan but felt it was worth a shot. I thought differently.

Run that name by me again?

Hello everyone. I just need to say this right off the bat. . . I'M TIRED. Really. My legs and feet hurt, myhead hurts, my eyes are itchy. I'm tired. It finally all came crashing down on me today. . . .I'm back at work, and work makes you tired. I know that this is an obvious equation for most people, but I'm always surprised by it. This reminds me of (NERD ALERT!) Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer who said something to the effect of, "human beings are so strange. They all die, and yet they're always shocked when it happens." Too true. Joss Whedon really is a philosopher. He He He.

So, I have a great group of kids this year. I have yet to discover which class is going to drive me nuts. I know that sounds pretty pessimistic, but every high school or middle school teacher (who is honest) will tell you that every year, you have at least one class that you almost DREAD seeing come through the door. I think it's to keep a karmic balance of some sort, or an illustration of the truth that we have to know the bitter to appreciate the sweet.

Anyway, my kids seem to be sweet so far, and I'm having a fairly easy time remembering their names in context. Of course it did take the better part of the first week to realize that I was teaching both halves of a set of identical twins, rather than teaching the same boy twice. I know, I'm QUICK!! But (hee hee hee), I have a very cute, smart, and sparkly girl with perhaps the WORST name in the history of the world. Her name ends with the word, derriere. YES, her mother named her something that ends with, well, an end. I can hardly keep a straight face when I call on her, and NO ONE seems to notice that this is a name ripe for mockery. Maybe kids just don't know the word derriere. I learned it early, during a conversation between my father and our good family friend Elly about which words for the gluteous maximus were "above the line" and therefore kosher, and those which were "below the line" and became forbidden territory. I seem to remember bum, tush, and rear were "Above the line" and butt, a** (this is a family blog and that word was always so far below the line that even as an adult I can't write it in a blog that my mother reads. . . when I type the URL for her), and derrierre were below the line. Derriere was below the line mostly 'cause my dad thought it was a silly word and Elly really wanted it above the line. There's little in life that my dad enjoys more than teasing Elly, so there you go. I could give you further examples like this one time when my mom, dad, Elly and her husband Don were stuck in traffic and Elly had drunk a 32 ounce Diet Coke. . . .but I'll leave it there.

Alyx: quite possibly the best dog in the world

Seriously. I am babysitting my sister Christy's dog Alyx for the next two weeks. We are one day in and I must say, Alyx is perfect. Seriously. She won't be winning any beauty contests or anything, but she is sweet, cuddly (when she misses Christy), is happy to see you when you come through the door, and pees and poops almost on command. The only problem that I've had so far is that she won't eat her food, or her jerky treats, or GREENIES. GREENIES! This may be the first time in the history of Alyx that Greenies have been turned down. She seems happy enough and has stopped her vigil at the front door, but no eating. Of course, Christy has left me with the challenge to help Alyx to lose weight. This might make it easier. . .

Dead Dogs and Writers. . .

Well, this Saturday was what would have been my sweet little Scout's seventh birthday. It was a rather tough day. That's understating quite a bit. It was at times bittersweet, full of tear filled laughter, and at others, guilt ridden and remorseful. I feel privileged to have been able to have her in my life for those six and a half short years, and while normally I know that she wasn't perfect, Saturday she became a near sainted being. Added to this was the fact that I was watching David and Jena's two dogs who are, let's face it, alive, and therefore imperfect. My mom called midday and that was the first time I allowed myself to cry about Scout, but it was a good cry. She admonished me to "go and do something fun" so I decided to go to Deseret Industries and then to a movie.

I know. I'm weird, but I love a good trip to a thrift store. I love finding great deals, and I'd already been to the Goodwill in my neighborhood. Let me tell you one thing about us Mormons. We don't give anything away until it's no longer of any use or beauty. Really. The prices at D. I. were MUCH better than those at Goodwill, but the goods. . .ain't good. I was looking for picture frames in particular, and those at DI were hideous, banged up, or contained a cross-stitch saying "Families are Forever" in dusty blue, mauve, or any other color popular in the 80's. I'm not kidding. Had I been in the market for a collage of such cross stitches, I would have been able to fill a wall. That being said, I'd like to now personally apologize to any and all people for whom I made one of these for in the late 80's and early 90's, a time I like to refer to as my "Cross Stitch Period" which was followed by my "Crocheting Crooked Afghan's" period, then came the "Scrap booking without Stickers" and now I'm currently in the "Geesh! What do you want from me, I don't have time for crafts! Period." Like Pablo Picasso, you can date my crafts by medium.

I then went to the Goodwill Superstore (yeah, they called it that.) it wasn't overly super, but it did have a brand new frame from Target for $2.50, and that made me happy.

I then drove across town to catch a viewing of "Becoming Jane" a film about the early life of Jane Austen. I was really excited to see this as I LOOOOOOOVE me some Jane, until as the theater darkened I thought about everything I knew about J. A.: she was in love with a young man early in life but never married and died in her early 40's of what I think was tuberculosis. Hmmmmmmm maybe this wasn't the right choice in the "do something to make me happy" plan. I sobbed, yes SOBBED through the ending (which didn't get to the coughing up blood clots into a hanky part, but did include the love of her life introducing her to his DAUGHTER. EEEKKK!!), which wasn't really called for, and then drove home to walk two dogs that had the gall to be alive.

This was a low point for me as I walked the dogs crying and when Bo wouldn't poop informed him, "You've had enough chances! We are going home!" only to turn around and see one of my new neighbors smiling at me the way you do to an escapee from a mental institution. Oh well.

Luckily, my lovely sister Christy called me and allowed me to tell her about my day, which helped me see the humor in the situation. Bless my sister Christy.

Now, I'm in my classroom and in 15 minutes will have a meeting with my AVID site team about our presentation to the staff tomorrow.

Oh, by the way, a friend of mine (without hearing the story of my sad Saturday, mind you.) told me that the plan for the year was to get me "a nice fella." I said, "Sure, why not." With my track record I figure a Lutheran lesbian has a better shot at finding me a nice Mormon boy to marry than I do. On that note. . .Good Day!

Oh yeah, I have a JOB. . .

Well, this will be a short and sweet one, I promise. The last entry was a bit long winded so I'll resist this time. I'm posting this from my classroom. Yes. . . summer is now officially over for Maury. I don't HAVE to be back to work until next Wednesday, but my Principal asked me to come in and make a presentations to the new teachers about AVID and Cornell Notes. They were very nice and receptive. One of them is VERY learned about AVID and wants to be a part of the team. I'm so excited!!

However, being back in my classroom makes me realize that I am going to have to get my act together in the next week and actually plan and stuff. Yikes! I love teaching, but I always forget that in August when I'm setting everything up again. Also, I never remember what a pain it is to find all of my stuff that I've shoved here and there at the END of the year when I'm doing all of my shoving. Oh well. THIS YEAR I'll remember. Any takers on that bet? I'm starting to get that nervous gut thing that happens to me every year at this time. Now is a good time to start the August mantra "I love my job more than sleeping in and watching British shows on DVD. I love my job more than sleeping in and watching British shows on DVD. . ." A few hundred times might do the trick.

Vacation??? I don't need no stinking vacation. . .

Hello everyone out there in cyberspace. I know I promised a recap of my summer but I'm tired and it's almost over now. Really, it's been a blur of driving from Las Vegas to California or Utah and back. I was able to squeeze in a couple of trips to IKEA (!!!!! quite possibly my favorite place in the known universe)and a visit to see my sister Jamie and her family in Orem, Utah where I went to Walmart at midnight to buy Harry Potter #7 (I LOVED THIS BOOK) that was a lot of fun. I then had to find a new place to live because my landlord is selling the condo I've lived in for the past year. I found an apartment the first day I looked and I am THRILLED to be telling you all that I will now be living alone!! YEAH!! I must admit that Kelsey wasn't the world's worst roommate, but I'm so excited to not have to live with the world's ugliest dining room furniture, plastic fruit on my beautiful domed cake plate, a precious moments collection, or an enormous pastel of lilies and/or seashells on my walls. YEAH for me. The apartment has a fireplace and really high ceilings in the living room which thrill me, but the move was rough 'cause it's upstairs. I was lucky to be able to move a lot of my stuff over the course of three days. Of course those were the three days in the history of Las Vegas that alternated between oppressively hot and humid and rain. Two or three trips up those stairs just about killed me. However, I was able to have everything put away and get a lot of pictures hung before I left for the AVID conference in San Diego.

My sister Christy told me she'd sell me her beautiful solid oak bookcase for the extremely reasonable price of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on CD. Of course this was a no-brainer, but I had to figure out how to get a 6' tall bookcase from California to Las Vegas and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't fit in the back of my Toyota Matrix. It's a pretty magical car, but I'd need a little help from Mr. Weasley to manage that (sorry, I'm a Harry Potter nerd. . . DEAL!!!). So, since I was going to California to go to my AVID conference anyway, I asked my mom and dad if I could borrow their Isuzu Ascender (its name should be changed to the Isuzu "Hey Mom and Dad can I borrow the" Ascender. It's nice to have parents to buy the big vehicles for you isn't it??). They graciously allowed me to do so and Christy and I went to San Diego, parked it in the hotel parking lot and left it there, 'cause in San Diego they apparently base the size of parking spaces on the Mini Cooper. Luckily we stayed at the DoubleTree Hotel on Hazard Center Drive and we had a trolley stop across the street and could walk everywhere else.

The AVID conference was AWESOME!! My team is really excited about the program and REALLY want to actually HELP me. This is a new thing. With the exception of two people (who both up and left me!), my site team was pretty ineffectual last year. I'm finally looking forward to this school year, and really think things will be better. Now, for the kids. . . . I have hope. I really do.

While in San Diego Christy and I went to see Hairspray (HILARIOUS and adorable) and The Bourne Ultimatum (WOW. Could Matt Damon be any hunkier? Answer: No.) and made the aforementioned Ikea trip. It was maybe the most successful Ikea trip in the history of the world. Really. I think they might have to put us on some kind of wall of fame. Maybe I'll create one on the inside wall of my closet. I can just imagine the kind of lines a visit to the Ikea shopping wall of fame might generate. Whew! I'm such a visionary. Anyway, I got a new coffee table for $13 a cute red 4 ft tall cupboard with doors for $20 also, I bought spice racks, a coat cooks, drawer organizers, a large glass jar (to replace the one I borrowed and broke for Jena and David) and a large bookcase for $120 (that's total baby, including the cupboard and coffee table). You're impressed and jealous aren't you. . . just admit it. Christy also earned a place on the wall of fame by buying an "as is" chest of drawers that was normally $99 for $55. Yeah. . . half price BABY!! To make it even better, she didn't even have to put it together.

So, now, the summer is over and it's nearly time to go back to school. I'm presenting an AVID awareness/Cornell notes workshop to the new teachers at my site on Thursday and will just start setting up the whole room then.

So, on that note I'll sign off. Ta!

You read this. . . you really read this!

Sooooo, it's nice to know that people are actually reading this thing. I'm sorry for the lack of posts during the month of July. It's been a busy one. . . I finally finished my classes at UNLV and then I got the heck out of town. To be fair to me it was over 120 degrees the day I left and I was happy to be in 110 degree weather. It felt positively cool!

My classes officially ended on July 5th. Of course we had July 4th off. My YA Literature professor decided to cancel class on the 5th because "It's ridiculous to make you come back the day after the 4th of July." We all agreed. My Science Fiction professor disagreed. So, I went to Toquerville for the 4th and had a great time, then raced back to Vegas on the 5th. I packed my car, got gas and drove to UNLV. It was so hot that even though I had the A/C going in my car at full blast for the 30 minutes it took me to get to UNLV it never cooled off. I walked all the way across campus in the blazing heat to find out that the "final" was a questionaire about the class that took me 5 minutes to write. So, it took me 4 times as long to walk to and from my car to the class and 6 times as long to drive to UNLV as it did to take the actual test. If it would have been possible to get even hotter than I was at the moment, I would have. I simply could not believe that this professor would force us to come back the day after the 4th of July to a 5pm class in order to take a "test" that had no academic purpose whatsoever. It made me think about whether or not I have ever made my own students jump through unneccessary hoops simply to prove that I could. I surely hope not. . .

Like I said, I left the MINUTE my class was finished to visit my sisters Christy and Jennifer in Yucca Valley California. It was nice and relaxing and that was a good thing 'cause I did the thing I generally do in June the week that school ends: I crash and burn and need to sleep about 10-15 hours out of every 24. Christy kept apologizing for having to work so much while I was there, but actually that kept me from feeling guilty for needing so many naps. I loved getting to know her new puppy Brie (quite possibly the cutest puppy in the entire world. . . with the exception of her other puppy Westley.), and we saw a couple of great movies: Ratatouille and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I liked the former and because I am officially a big giant Harry Potter nerd I LOVED LOVED LOVED the later. (On a slightly creepy note. . . for those of you who have also seen it, Daniel Ratcliff is all grown up. . . isn't he? I am just saying. . . Harry HOTTER!). We also went to Oceanside for the day to hang out with my brother and his friends and family and to get horribly burned. Funny moment: One of their friends (who is a Latina) turned to my sister and I and asked, "Do either of you ladies have suntan oil?" my sister replied, "We're white. No, we don't have suntan oil. We put on SPF 50, not suntan oil." Everyone had a good laugh at that one. But, in spite of my vigilant VIGILANT and oh yeah VIGILANT and constant reapplication of sunscreen I still burned the tops of my breasts within and inch of their life (yeah, I don't know what that means either.) and one wierd round spot on the side of one leg. Christy decided to "get a little color" which, when you're red headed and pale means that you end up looking like a cooked lobster and in a LOT of pain.

So both of us where really sore and whiny for a few days. I went to Walmart and bought both of us Solarcaine. Solarcaine is really one of the greatest inventions in the history of the world.

I then drove back to Las Vegas while crying and whining to myself about my pain and discomfort. I am REALLY patient and understanding about my own pain. I told myself repeatedly that my sunburn was the worst thing that had ever happened and that I felt really bad for me. It was really comforting.

The next morning I got up and drove to Toquerville to visit my parents for a couple of days.
TO BE CONTINUED. . .

Not just a rebound thing...

I've finally gotten rid of my old cell phone. Although this is a pretty routine thing for everyone in the modern world, this has been a big moment for me. You see, my old cell phone treated me pretty much exactly like every boy I've ever loved. . . it was friendly at first but quickly began taking me for granted and never there when I needed it. Like I said, it started out promisingly, but it was nothing more than a rebound relationship

.You see my previous phone and I had loved each other very much but our relationship soured quickly when the speaker stopped working and I had to use the speaker phone function in order to hear what anyone was saying. It was a sad break-up, but inevitable. David had a phone that was just hanging around doing nothing, and it seemed a good fit. Isn't that the story with all rebound relationships? the relationship has more to do with timing or convenience than any real feeling. It all seemed so promising at first. This phone had a camera and a speaker that worked. Who could ask for anything more? I thought I couldn't, I wasn't picky.

Soon, however, my phone's true colors showed. The first sign of trouble was the time it refused to give me a message from my friend Helen for 3 days (textbook witholding). Then it started taking pictures when I wasn't looking (trust issues). Of course they were all black and pointless, but nevertheless. But, those were minor issues. Our real problem was that it refused to hold a charge (emotionally unavailability). I'd charge it all night long and then make one phone call and it would die. It was annoying and I know that people started to doubt my sincerity when I told them EVERY SINGLE TIME I talked to them that my phone was dying. I'd doubt me too. . .

Then I made a new friend in my Research Methods class. Becky had the same phone as me with the same problems. We both agreed that it was time to move on.

But, finally the happy day came. . . June 26, the day I could get a new phone from Verizon (new every two. . . clever eh?).


I ordered a shiny (literally) new KRAZR Fire, and two days later. . . it was here. I charged it up and broke the news to LGVX6100 by disconnecting it, and throwing away all of its accessories. It was liberating.

So, my KRAZR and I have some adjusting to do. I'm still figuring out how to change settings and use the camera. I know that the new glow will wear off and that we'll have our issues, but for now. . . it's all love, baby.

So. . . adieu LGVX6100. I will not miss you.

I'm not alone in the world. . .

Today I found out that one of my college roomies also loves the British spy show MI:5 (Spooks to those in the UK). I know this is silly, but it made me feel a little less alone in the world. I love this show. . . .REALLY LOVE IT, and I haven't had anyone to talk about it with. I think that I've felt that way about the past few years in general. I feel kind of disconnected. I think being 33 and single in the church leads to that a bit. I didn't think this is what my life would look like at this point. When my parents were my age they had 5 children and had been married for 10 years.

Don't worry, I'm not going to cry and moan here. In fact, I'm feeling fairly content about my life right now. I'm working on my master's degree and mulling over my next steps and what I want to do next, and I must say that I feel blessed to have the opportunities that I have. I get to make all of my decisions entirely based on what I want, I've been able to travel, and when I have a day off and want to sleep in, I can. That's all wonderful, but it also can leave a girl feeling kind of alone in the world...

Well, enough of my reflecting. I'm off to work on a project for my Science Fiction class!!

Snapped back into shape. . . .

My professor emailed me and told me that I could make up the portion of the midterm I had left out. So I did. I don't think it's fabulous, and had I read the test correctly I would have answered the question differently than I did, but I at least had the chance to finish.

Also, she said I was one of her stars. Sigh. I just love being called a star. It makes me feel all sparkly and smart. I once told my friend Greg, "I will never be the cutest, or the nicest, but might be the smartest." It's all I have people. Of course, being able to discuss the female archetypes in Faulkner's A Light in August have never made me irrestistible to men, and telling people that I think that Harry Potter is probably going to die at the end of book 7 'cause he's a Christ figure has never won me any friends. . . maybe I should've shot for cute and nice...........Whatayathink?

Stretched too Thin

Tonight I took the midterm in my Science Fiction class. I read the prompt, felt I understood and commenced to writing in a fury. I wrote and wrote and wrote and quoted the text and wrote and wrote and quoted some more, and then after nearly filling a blue book and writing for 1 hour and 15 minutes I turned it in. I felt like either it was brilliant or crap, but that I had put in real effort and understanding and did the best that I could do. Then I came home and tried to get rid of the pounding headache I've had for 3-4 days. My temporary roommate Amanda came home and I told her about the test and how much I'd written. She asked, "What was the question?" So. . . .I picked up the test and read the question, realizing with that sick twisty stomach dropping out of your body universe shifting nauseatic feeling that I had misread the end of the question and had therefore not completely answered the question. I emailed my professor, but have no idea how it's going to go. The thing is, this is TOTALLY and 100% my fault and if she doesn't let me finish the test I will totally understand, and that just sucks. I work so hard and am one of only 3 people who actually come to class prepared and discuss the stories, and the rest of those idiots get a better grade than me on the test in specifics and in the class in general I'm going to just hate myself forever and ever. So, yeah, I guess today my glass is more than half full of crap.



I think the big reason why this happened today is that I've been stretched too thin. I haven't really done anything but read my assignments and do work for school for this entire week and it finally caught up with me.

Oh yeah! That's why I became a teacher!

I'm currently sitting in my blissfully quiet classroom, giddy to be done with teaching high school kids for the year. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job to little bits and pieces, but the quiet moments in the classroom are really really wonderful.

It's been a good year, all told. I'm still struggling with my AVID kids, and wondering when they'll figure out that they don't need to make noise every second of every day or touch everyone within a 10 yard radius. Seriously. However, I've had some teachers tell me how much they've seen them grow this year, and I know that I've helped at least some of them. I had to send home 3 letters today telling kids and parents that they will not be a part of the program next year, and that was hard. But, I've learned, if you want a program to be successful, sometimes you have to do some pruning. I'm just glad that my administration is supportive of that.

I had a "OH YEAH! THIS IS WHY I BECAME A TEACHER!!" moment today that I need to share. For those of you who don't know, I teach at a technology magnet school, which means that I have a LOT of kids coming into my class who do not particularly like my subject. This year was no exception. I had one girl who's father is a math teacher at my school who told me at the beginning of the year that she really didn't like English all that much, but that she was a good student and wanted to be successful. Her father came up to me today and told me that she told him that for the first time in her life she likes English and that she's been reading books on her own...ON HER OWN! She even told him all of the books she wants to read this summer. I'm so excited about that. Literature has meant so much to me in my life that it just makes me tear up thinking about a kid discovering a love for it themselves! I know what you're all thinking, it's pretty hard to make me cry---Ha Ha!

First Post EVER!!

Hello everyone out there. . . .those that I've told about this, anyway. I am, with great trepidation and fear, venturing out into the world of blogs. I've been told by a few people that I should start one of these so that their friends could simply go to my blog and read my hilarious antics and musings without having to rely on the middle man. SO HERE YOU GO YOU LUCKY SO AND SO'S. Yes, I am an English teacher, but grammar isn't my forte (witty banter is. . .) so lay off the judging, and yes I do mean you.

I'm going to try to update at least once a week, but I don't make any promises. This is my last week of school and I'm enrolled in a Science Fiction class for my master's degree, so good luck to me. I'm really not much of a Sci-Fi person with the exception of Buffy, X-Files, and LOST (Is that Science Fiction?????) so I'm a strugglin through with a respectable amount of whining and stamping my foot on the order of Miss Piggy. Most of you are suddenly very happy to be living far, far away from me . . . aren't you?

With that cheery note, I'll sign off. Ta!