Hello,

It’s been a while since my last post. A lot has happened during my time away. Right now, I’m going to physical therapy twice a week for my knee, and I’m still dealing with issues in my foot and ankle on the other side. I’m taking it one day at a time and trying to improve my mindset. We just recently buried my father-in-law, which has been a difficult time for my husband and our kids.

The last time I mentioned a surprise, I took some time to think and realized that I’m punishing myself by not finishing my original work. I worry that no one would want to read it, and instead of pushing through to complete it, I find myself giving in to what I think others want or expect from me. When I do this, I end up paying the price because I abandon what I truly want in life and go along with what I believe everyone else desires from me.

I absolutely adore Smallville and considered either finishing the fanfiction I began or writing a new story featuring a different love interest. However, despite my efforts, I couldn’t progress beyond the second chapter because my true passion lies with the characters I created myself, and that’s genuinely what I want to pursue. It may not be something that others are interested in reading, but it’s a desire that resonates deeply within me. For once, I need to prioritize my own wishes rather than focusing on what might please others or enhance my relevance as a writer. The truth is, I’m not the same person I was when I first started writing fanfiction.

I’ve endured tremendous hardships. My personal life turned out to be far from what I had envisioned, and I allowed it to consume me. Those closest to me betrayed my trust—people I believed would stand by me until the very end. I understand that friendships can fade. I also realize that sometimes, your own family can be the first to hurt you and inflict wounds deeper than you could ever imagine. I had to learn to be cautious about whom I trust, whether they are family or friends, and I generally maintain my distance. I only allow my children to get close, but as far as I’m concerned, those who genuinely care for you and are supposed to be your support system don’t easily betray you or disappear from your life as if you never mattered in the first place.

That pain has impacted my ability to write fanfiction. I was working on numerous stories for others—people who thought it was acceptable to repeatedly stab me in the back (not everyone… you know who you are if you’re still on my friend list, this doesn’t pertain to you and thank you for sticking around) smiling in my face and acting as if everything was fine. I struggle with that kind of treatment, and while I’ve learned not to hold grudges, I can’t simply forget or forgive how they treated me and my feelings over the years. When I love, I love fiercely. When I call you a friend or family, it means I would take a bullet for you. But not everyone shares the same mindset, and it took me a long time to come to that realization.

So, here’s the NEW plan. I will complete BOTH stories (including Twilight’s Hellmouth) I’m currently working on and then share them as a WHOLE. This approach may take some time, but lately, I don’t have anything better to occupy my time, so it is what it is. I’ll finish both stories and then move on to my other novels featuring characters from A Girl Named Jack. I understand it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s perfectly okay. However, I need to do this for myself. I have a story to tell. I have feelings that I want to express to the world, and right now, it’s something I really need to do for my own sake. I hope you can appreciate that. I know I might lose some readers, and while that’s unfortunate, I’ll be alright.

I’m only getting older, and my health isn’t likely to improve anytime soon. So, while I’m still here and kicking, I want to leave some kind of footprint on this earth, something that’s entirely mine. If even just a few of you can connect with Jack, Six, Gauge, Augustus, or characters introduced later, that would be fantastic. If not, well, I can’t say I didn’t give it a shot.

I truly appreciate your patience, kindness, and support over the years. I won’t set a specific date for when I’ll post these two stories in full, but it shouldn’t be too much longer.

If I’ve let a few of you down, I’m sorry. I just can’t bring that girl back. While she’s still a significant part of who I am and what shaped me into the person I am today, bringing her back would only bring me more pain. That girl was too naïve, too trusting, and honestly, she deserved better. I’m going to protect what remains of her spirit and do what I can to help her heal.

Much love,

Harleen Crow