It seems like ages since I last posted anything. It has been ages. This blog was started as a way to help me cope with what was at the time a medical mystery. So many questions. So much pain. So much fatigue. So much fear and uncertainty.
I can look back — and have been doing just that over the past couple of days — and see my turning point, but I stopped writing just as my life was taking a major turn. I’m making this homecoming visit to tell you about what’s been happening while I’ve been away.
Last time you heard from me, I had just finished moving to an apartment high in the treetops, which is where this blog got its name. (No, it wasn’t literally *in* the treetops — just on the top floor facing treetops, and it was tiny, making it feel like a bit of a nest or kids’ treehouse.) I also was in a relationship at the time. I knew for years it wasn’t a healthy relationship, but for various reasons I had stuck it out. As my condition continued to deteriorate, though, I found myself doing some serious soul searching. That was part of one of my last posts — my birthday week of yoga and meditation.
Sometimes things in life just align perfectly to bring you what you need to carry you through. It sucks that sometimes those things are really, really crappy. My things were really, really crappy. To stand in the midst of your own living hell, searching and searching for a light to walk toward, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, especially since I really wasn’t sure there was even a light out there to find.
You know how my health was deteriorating from previous posts. And I had exhausted most of the medical tests — overall, the counts finally came to 13 doctors, about 200 medical tests (including some repeats: 5x for Lupus and Hashimotos, 5x for Thyroid, 4x for Lyme), over 200 needle injections (over 90 within one month), 3 ER visits (2 by ambulance), and 2 misdiagnoses (including fibro — more on that soon). My relationship at the time hit an all time low. The job I was in was quite toxic, with the exception of being able to work at home a large part of the time — but even working at home did not create enough buffer from the nastiness and toxicity of the company and its management. Then there was the world around me, with heartbreaking news of school and theater shootings weighing heavily on an already burdened mind. Pile on top of that the very real prospect of never finding a true diagnosis; facing potential unemployment and welfare because the chronic pain and chronic fatigue had hit an all time, work-prohibitive high; mounting medical expenses from near-constant doctors appointments; being stuck, possibly permanently, in a tiny, dark apartment; and seeing all my dreams drifting away with no foreseeable way to fund them.
That’s the dismal view of where I was. But some of our greatest gifts come disguised in the most bizarre packages. All it takes is the willingness to look for the good.
I had written last about a pending week of meditation, yoga, swimming, and running — a birthday gift to myself to try and find myself again, or find the new me. Then I disappeared from this online community. There was good reason, and it definitely was a result of that week of self reflection and soul searching. It’s been too long ago now to accurately recount just how I came to my revelation, but I did have an awakening during that week. First, I came to an acceptance of everything that seemed out of my control — my health, my prospects, the rest of the world. Then I discovered what was still in my control. I could still choose to be happy with whatever I did have — the ability to wake up each morning with hope and gratitude for anything and everything that came my way, like birds singing, tree frogs, blue skies, light breezes, kind smiles, helpful neighbors, friends, food in the fridge, memories, and more and more I could find anew each day. I could still do my best in my little corner of the world to spread happiness, kindness, empathy, and hope. I may not change the whole world, and bad things were certain to continue to happen, but I could do my part to be a positive force in my corner of the world. It was the realization that I needed absolutely nothing but my own heart and will to be kind and grateful — I didn’t need a job, a nice home, a nice car, not even my health or mobility — with absolutely nothing, on the streets, penniless, terminally sick, I still had the choice every moment to be grateful and happy. And it sure seemed the world needed more of that, so at least I could make that mark in life. My life was not hopeless. It sure seemed better than the alternative.
Now this obviously had no effect on my health, at least not directly. It wasn’t a diagnosis or cure. It didn’t even point me in the right direction to a cure. But it did give me the most important tools for getting through everything — hope and happiness. And I let go of all the worry and angst that had been weighing me down further. Very soon after, I ended my relationship. Soon after that, found a better job. Things kept snowballing after that — a new car, purchased a condo, MVP award at work, meeting new friends, and eventually getting the strength again to keep pressing forward for answers to what was happening with my health, which had also benefited from my new outlook — I had discovered firsthand that happiness truly was good for my health. I checked off all the specialists I’d already seen, and made a list of those I hadn’t yet. I started with an appointment to a spine specialist, and that turned out to be the magic appointment. We started with an MRI of my cervical spine. The scans showed significant stenosis, an inflamed spinal cord that at several locations was pressed right against the now bare bone of the spinal column. Apparently what had happened in my Chicago Tri accident was the infection in my sinuses had traveled into my spine, inflaming the spine and eroding the lining. For the past 7 years (at the time of the diagnosis, now a year ago +), my spine had been more and more jeopardized, and for the several years prior to diagnosis by the spine specialist I’d had constant pressure on the nerves along the entire spine — the cause of all the chronic, widespread pain. It was why, when I stopped eating sugars — a prime food for infections — I had felt such relief, but also why, when I started running again, I ended up right back where I was, because the stenosis and nerve damage was still unaddressed.
I was nearly in tears when I finally heard my doctor give me, without question, an actual diagnosis that not only answered all the questions from the past several years, and not only explained all the symptoms, but provided a definable solution and course of correction.

Me heading to a swim at the pool just down the street from my new condo. I can walk there in 5 minutes.
Next came the start of my recovery. We scheduled an epidural to inject steroids into my spine and bring down the swelling. Next came 8 months with one physical therapist, then about 6 months PT on my own, and now I’m back with another physical therapist to continue my long recovery. I started running regularly again, even running 2 races, and making PRs in one — coming full circle to do a local triathlon.
Now it hasn’t been all wonderful. One of the reasons I came back to my blog is because I, as I write this, am experiencing a major set back. The pain the past several days is the worst I’d felt in a couple of years, making it impossible to run for the past week and difficult to sleep the past few days. But we had recently done a new scan of my lumbar spine (recall the first scans were just of the cervical spine), and there’s more work to be done on the lumbar region that we had yet to address. It looks like there’s significant disc damage between several vertebrae, and a couple of them appear to be collapsed entirely. I have an appointment to review the scans in a couple weeks, but am going to try to expedite that appointment. The past few days were pretty miserable, but there’s still lots of hope. And everything I’ve gained in my life the past couple of years (still hard to believe it’s been that long) has been a nearly miraculous gift. I’m still filled with gratitude, still find plenty of reason every day to be happy. With the help of my amazing doctor and support of my wonderful friends and loved ones, I’ll find a way past this hurdle, too.

Image of the lumbar spine, bottom vertebrae compression — the discs between the vertebrae should be white, not black.
Please pardon me if it takes me a while, but if those I’d connected with when I started my blog are still out there, I do want to eventually catch up and see how everyone is doing. You were an important part in helping me get through. Thank you, and truly namaste. It’s nice to return home.





