Each night he awaits me, patiently. When he receives me, I feel his warmth and kindness. He touches me in a way that I feel desirable. I feel sensual and moist. His gaze is fire, a fire burning for me. He is mine and I am his. Our desire is well protected by my mind. ... Continue Reading →
Install, uninstall and repeat
I'm fiddling with this thing, Install, uninstall and repeat. Just this week, fifteen times. Likes, super likes. A “hello" there, a “hi” here Sometimes a “drink?”. Somewhat good looking middled aged men. Will I be able to handle them? No. Does browsing this app make me sad? Yes. So many people and their sheer desperation,... Continue Reading →
I stood still
Deep breaths. Each one mourns a memory once lived, a happy memory, a life made real, a love so big it filled the sky. Now… slowly fading. “Dearly departed,” they begin. I stand still. Time holds its breath with me.
Marriage has expired
When did we become these people? Me, screaming how much I hate you, how I wish you were dead. You, yelling the same words back, like a mirror I never wanted. You grabbing me by the hair, left a scar on my face. Is ten years the expiration date? Is this normal? Is this how... Continue Reading →
A Best Friend, Almost
My school experience wasn’t the greatest. In grade 5, I remember trying my best to secure a “best friend.” Can you believe it??? I never had a designated best friend, It’s kind of sad. I feel for that 5th grader. In Grade 5, we got a brand-new classmate, and I was elated! She was going... Continue Reading →
The Shallow Grave
My heart feels heavy with an unknown pain, Mind tangled with a feeling of fading. Unsettling numbness, No sensation felt, A crave for rest in a dirt bed. From the corner of my eye, Watching my flesh dissolve, The scorching summer heat makes the skin bubbles dance. I am in the process of becoming one... Continue Reading →
Neglected Child
Obedient, yet neglected she was Not a people pleaser but a parent pleaser. Worked on herself daily to everyone happy. Born into wealth but not love. Life began to get tougher when he was born. He the golden child. The legacy he was to carry, Armored with riches he moved forward. She went unseen and... Continue Reading →
A SISTER NO MORE
Imagine living abroad, far away from your family and friends, and trying to build a new life from scratch. You're already feeling depressed after turning thirty five recently, and then one Sunday morning in December, you receive heavy and heartbreaking news: your sister has passed away. You freeze, feeling helpless and powerless. You live thousands... Continue Reading →
THE SUFFERING
Within me, a deep and troubled sea. Spilled bowl of cereal, stench of rotten milk. Once fresh, the fruit loops now withered and stale. A mess on the mosaic, a long-lasting stain. Soaked in depression; here to stay. A feeling which I will never depart. A perfect world, yet everything is a chore. Inconvenience lurking... Continue Reading →
A SIMPLE WISH
I imagine watching myself from outside. An out of body experience. A merry observer of painful things. My helpless body, lying on the floor. A cracked head, like a half-boiled egg. Watching myself on my driveway, As life slowly drains away. A broken neck. A road once walked; covered with scarlet syrup. Visualizing myself tumbling... Continue Reading →
JUST A POST
Today is Thursday, and for the first time in a while, I woke up to my alarm feeling better than yesterday. However, even after 34 years, I am a mystery to myself. A lazy mystery. After brushing, washing, and cleaning up, I returned to my bedroom and looked outside. Feeling like an Instagram post. The... Continue Reading →
THE LOOP
I am not the sun. I am not the moon. It’s Monday, I have no desire to bloom. To take that breath, an effort I must make. Forced and trapped, a pain in my chest. Life has failed me, hard and dull. On a loop of sadness, an endless trail. A sail set through darkness... Continue Reading →
THE DISCOVERY
Woke up with a throbbing headache. It’s the consequence of me banging my head on the wall several times last night after going all psycho ballistic on my partner. The lowest I have been since 2008. His actions and the betrayal got me all worked up. My head still pounding, even at noon. The pain... Continue Reading →
UNRESOLVED
Hurt has a way of lingering. For me, it goes back a decade. Every now and then, I find myself revisiting the painful past - broken friendships, unresolved hurt, and the inability to move forward. I scroll through old group pictures and comments we made at that time, which we thought were cool. But why... Continue Reading →
AN OLD FRIENDSHIP
A few weeks ago, I did something I never thought I would do - I reached out to an old high school friend on Facebook after 15 long years. It was just a simple message, saying "Hi, hope all is well with you and your family". To my surprise, my friend, who now lives in... Continue Reading →
NAVIGATION
Five years ago, I would have given anything to have what I have now. But at that time, my life felt empty - I was an empty vessel with a singular focus on finding love. I blame my mother for constantly reminding me that I needed to marry before I turned 30, poisoning my mind... Continue Reading →
RANTING
As I approach my 32nd birthday, I can’t help but feel a sense of panic about where I am in life. I’ve been on this planet for over 11,000 days, and I can’t help but wonder what I’ve really achieved. The truth is, it feels like nothing. Sure, I married the love of my life... Continue Reading →
MEMORIES FADE
https://youtube.com/watch?v=tz_NxOF7RB4&si=EnSIkaIECMiOmarE Our past is the main building block of who we are today and who we’ve become. It has changed me a lot, and most of it is for the better. I'm leaping towards the present and preparing to embrace the future. Some people cherish and speak highly about their past, but for me, I... Continue Reading →
ISOLATION
During my high school days, I was a part of the popular 'it crowd.' I felt relieved that I could blend in with the 'it girls' and I looked down upon those who were not a part of our group. Although I wasn't cruel or malicious, I wasn't interested in making meaningful connections with others.... Continue Reading →
ARE YOU THERE GOD?
Lately, death has been on my mind a lot. The thought of finally escaping this cruel world brings me a strange sense of peace. My views on life have become weak, and I don't have the energy to strengthen them. It's all too much to bother with. Yesterday, I signed a promissory note to donate... Continue Reading →
LIES
I'm at a point where I feel exhausted and worn out. My self-esteem has been low for a long time, and now I'm struggling with feeling unattractive. It's particularly painful to hear my partner say that they find me unappealing. I've been trying to work through these feelings for a while now, but it's been... Continue Reading →
THE BREAKUP
I remember that dreadful day, the day I found out about my first love cheating on me. We had dated for almost three years. However, on our second year, rumors started to circulate that he was seeing someone else at work. Despite my so-called high school best friends at that time warning me, I refused... Continue Reading →
HOT SPOT JUNCTION 