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Humanizing The Vacuum

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    Ranking freestyle ballad hits

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    January 18, 2026

    Reviled for being the brides to their friskier, cleverer bridesmaids, freestyle ballads constituted the best way for these acts, mostly people of color, to broaden their audiences. It worked. No one may remember “Seasons Change,” but it’s thanks to “Seasons Change” that we still hear Exposé’s “Point of No Return,”…

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    Ranking ’80s songs which spent most weeks on Hot 100 w/out going top 40

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    January 18, 2026

    Give Stevie B this: his two-level jhericurled mullet is back, baby. All the cool kids sport one. Whether “Spring Love” and the other freestyle jams whose way up the Billboard Hot 100 was barred by an angel with a flaming sword are remembered today is another story. Although I’ve mentioned…

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    Ranking #96 singles, U.S. edition: 1987-1996

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    January 17, 2026

    Their only Hot 100 appearance, “Sometimes Always” was no sellout. The production was brighter, and Hope Sandoval as co-singer coincided with Mazzy Star’s breakthrough in the next year, but the Jesus and Mary Chain, whose gifts include vocalizing as if lead poisoning were Vitamin C, sound as much themselves as…

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    The Singles Jukebox: January 2026

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    January 17, 2026

    In an acknowledgment that Januarys demand a taking-stock as much as a fresh start, The Singles Jukebox reviews 2025 holdovers. Smerz, about whom I haven’t said much, get my first write-up. I was the sole dissenter regarding “Netles,” Ethan Cain’s eight-minute narco-noodle about, I think, doomed love. Among the more…

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    Ranking #17 singles, U.S. edition: 1997-2003

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    January 17, 2026

    Yeah, yeah, I know sales and enthusiasm got Nine Inch Nails (briefly) into the top twenty in 1999, but “The Day the World Went Away,” with its sheets of guitar distortion and vertiginous transitions to whispery existential nonsense bordered on one side by Sixpence None the Richer and 98 Degrees…

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    Ranking #9 singles, U.S. edition: 1959

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    January 16, 2026

    When I think of a hound dog man, or of someone who needs to be turned loose, Fabian does not come to mind. Maybe he got the groupies. At any rate the two #9 singles he earned as the 1950s ended are variable. “Hound Dog Man” hiccups through a rockabilly…

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    Pure insistence: Dry Cleaning and Zach Bryan

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    January 15, 2026

    In previous reviews I praised Dry Cleaning for updating white scratch-funk with a singer even more nonplussed than my stove. I shared cautious optimism about Zach Bryan’s talent for connecting a lifetime of harrowing rural despair with (post-)adolescent alienation. How do their latest albums work? Let’s see.

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    Ranking #28, U.S. edition: 1994-1999

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    January 15, 2026

    Vocoder part aside, I knew ‘Id stumbled on a classic Beastie Boys single when the late Adam Yauch, aka MCA, yelled, “I’ll stir fry you IN MAH WOK!” Fuck yeah! Rhyming for the sake of stringing together cool phonemes, the Beastie Boys looked backward on “Intergalactic” without nostalgia intoxicating them,…

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    How to be a good man: ‘Rebuilding’

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    January 14, 2026

    Josh O’Connor needs to stop it with the performances as wonderful as the one in Rebuilding and go away for a while, give other guys a chance. In his fourth film released in a six-month period the British actor who has mastered several American accents plays Thomas “Dusty” Fraser, a…

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    Ranking #3 singles, U.S. edition: 2005-2008

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    January 14, 2026

    After OutKast faded, T.I. became my favorite rapper between 2005 and the world-conquering 2008 when “Whatever You Like” and “Swagga Like Us” and the whiny Justin Timberlake duet “Dead and Gone” call back the early Obama years like few things do. Allegations of grotesque sexual misconduct make me less kindly…

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    My Alternative Oscars: Best Actress 2015

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    January 13, 2026

    The nominees: Cate Blanchett – Carol Brie Larson – Room Jennifer Lawrence – Joy Charlotte Rampling – 45 Years Saoirse Ronan – Brooklyn Loath as I am to continually dis the 2010s acting winners, I see red whenever I skim through a nominees list. By the time Room got a…

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    Ranking #32 singles, U.S. edition: 1999-2004

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    January 12, 2026

    Reflecting an era when record companies abjured the release of singles for the sake of selling albums, 2Pac’s “Changes” peaked at a pitiful #32 despite its classic lyric and absorption of a Bruce Hornsby sample as assuredly as PM Dawn did Spandau Ballet’s “True” for “Set Adrift on Memory Bliss.”

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This is the internet home of Alfred Soto, freelance writer and a professor of communications.

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      • Ranking freestyle ballad hits

      • Ranking ’80s songs which spent most weeks on Hot 100 w/out going top 40

      • Ranking #96 singles, U.S. edition: 1987-1996

      • The Singles Jukebox: January 2026

      • Ranking #17 singles, U.S. edition: 1997-2003

      • Ranking #9 singles, U.S. edition: 1959

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