Poetry, stories, and thoughts
Some days I bleed a little
When I think of her
Occasionally, I can smile
But usually I shed tears
and wander down the “What if?” train
Slowly, I am healing
little by little
I find joy with my other daughter
and life with my husband is grand
This estrangement is my life
out of sync.
My love for you
is in a glossy black box
tied up with a ribbon
sitting high up on a shelf
deep in the chambers
of my heart.
I examine the box on occasion
never daring to open it again.
I keep my life
in tiny little boxes
Each box holds
a section of my past
There are no overlaps
because
When I leave a part of my life behind
I move on to my new life
I don’t look back.
He lays his black furry head
across my leg
His body is relaxed
and snores fill my ears
He’s an old man now
sleeping much of the day away
often curled up in my lap
happy and content.
We hide behind smiles and laughter
living our lives in boxes
running the treadmill from nine to five
not even noticing the seasons changing
in the world around us
This is not what life
was meant to be.
Peace.
Joy.
Happiness.
Contentment.
These are the things I strive for
in 2026.
A cold rain falls
on the barren winter landscape
Soon it will turn to snow
as temperatures drop
throughout the day
The snow will place a white coat
on the land
And silence will fall.
I’m in a season of life
that feels great
I’m enjoying myself
with various hobbies
that keeps me happy
I’m comfortable
in my own skin
and when I look
in the mirror
I like the person
who is looking back at me.
I have created
a perfect little life
for me
Weekly time with family
keeps me grounded
in what matters most
Time spent creating art
relaxes me
and makes me happy
Writing and taking photographs
fills me with joy
helping me find my voice in the world
My life is not perfect
But it’s perfect for me.
Once I thought I was
wild and young and free
waking up and taking drugs
That would sail me far away
from the life I was living
and the choices I was making
Smiling through the tears
I popped one more pill
smoked one more joint
on my way to being
someone I was not.
I Am Rainey 