“Rêverie ~ A state of being pleasantly lost in one’s own thoughts; a daydream.”
It’s only last night that I was speaking to a friend and was telling him on how I have always been a daydreamer, how sometimes building pleasant stories in my head takes me away from the mundane and puts me to rest. Wishful thinking much? Oh yes, but since the age of six years, life has been a little turbulent around me and as a child all that kept me going where my musings that fleeted my mind away from the worry that surrounded me. I remember, as a child in the middle of a page in my science book, I would find wonder, a wonder that probably is only make-believe.
But sometimes being in your own bubble of make-believe is all you need to while through that day, night or even a phase.
It’s been twenty years since I have consciously and pleasantly delved myself into reverie and along these years I did learn to face reality and not always find escape from unpleasant situations; but even today, on nights when I am mentally fatigued and can’t put myself to sleep, I escape to a world of musings, a world of illusions – where everything is beautiful and in that feeling, I find that I have fallen asleep. ✨
P.S – This was one of my moments of Rêverie, somewhere in the middle of River Cam. I was lost in my own thoughts, in a world far far away from where anything else could touch me to ruin my state of bliss ✨
Tread Lightly – You will get there! ✨
I happened to speak to a friend of mine who uttered words which sounded just as I would’ve spoken, maybe an year or two back. I can’t speak for him, but I sure can tell you that I was illusioned with the concept of Success and what one must do in order to get it.
Continue reading “Tread Lightly – You will get there! ✨”Back To Basic
“The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
The Pandemic has put us all in these unprecedented times, where each of us have found empty spaces in our lives that we had watchfully designed to avoid or we simply forgot about these empty spaces as we filled our lives with activities that kept us constructively busy/distracted. Covid-19 has put us back in that spot. I too, like many others have been pondering about the uncertainty it has brought along with it. Covid-19 has impacted each one of us across the globe in some manner or the other, either directly or maybe indirectly – but the impact is certain. Continue reading “Back To Basic”
Break of Dawn ✨
“I think, I am at the break of dawn.✨ There is a feeling as fresh as the air, a feeling as mesmerising as the birds singing away to the morning glory and a feeling as hopeful as the very first rays of the rising sun.”
It took me three years to feel that the sun is rising in my life. In past three years, I have often found myself with a burn in my heart, a yearning for a better tomorrow, a brighter tomorrow. In order to feel upbeat about my life, I have gone to lengths from meditation to medication, but everything seemed more like a temporary solution. Despite my active efforts to feel better, I found myself with a toiling mind chatter that just won’t let me be, and a heart so heavy that it was seeking for change in my surroundings.
….And, out of nowhere, a couple of days back while I was soaking in the sight of pouring rain, I found myself blissfully humming a song. In that bliss, I saw myself fleet away from my thoughts and into the moment.
I felt my heart brimming with tranquility; at last, I felt my heart had been untethered from the chains of self-created bondages.
I still don’t know what brought about the change, but I think, I am at the break of dawn! ✨
This feeling, made an important lesson come alive in my life – what you are going through is not permanent, no matter good or bad. Life is indeed a continuous wave, with its crests and troughs; with dusks and dawns.
So, when at a trough in life – don’t distress yourself. There is hardly anything you can change about your surroundings, all you can do is change your reaction to the surroundings. And, when at a crest in life – cherish the moment, embrace it fully, but don’t get attached to it with the idea of permanency, because change is indeed the only constant in life!
Sprawling Emotions
Yesterday, while coming back from work my mind was loitering around emotions, I have often pondered over emotions and their power – they are an indispensable part of our lives; they make one living and are the sole conduct of life. Emotions aren’t merely a human trait, any living being capable of thinking projects emotions. Continue reading “Sprawling Emotions “
No Man is an Island 🥂
It is espoused that a person is born alone and dies alone and therefore one must rise above these bonds that one forges in their lifetime. This notion has always seemed challenging to me to survive through the way of life. I believe this to be true for each and every living being. No one can make it through the way of their lives without the love and support of other being, this is how our race is designed and not just our race; even animals, take it from the ants or the elephants, they move together in a group because there is no way that you can walk through the way of life all alone and make it successfully or I must say blissfully. My thoughts are a culmination of instances from my life, from the books I have read and the movies I have seen – all together have made my belief more profound than ever, that truly ‘No Man is An Island’.
Paradise in pages ✨
“Books are a uniquely portable magic.” ~ Stephen King
Books have a truly different charm to them, I have felt most me when I am standing somewhere amidst a lot of books – lost between the pages and trying to find what my soul is made of! ✨
I don’t even exactly know when did I become this bibliophile; I did read back in school, but was never much of a collector of books. Over the years I saw my fondness grow and grow to a level that today I am nothing short of possessive for every book I own, no matter how old it is. Even if I have read that book, once read, it then has marked my soul and has become a part of me. I am not exaggerating – this is exactly how I feel about my books.
Very recently, I was obsessing over my books and I was told, “it’s okay, just books buy them again”. For others they maybe just books, can be bought again. For me there are those thoughts that I found between the lines that lead me to a step closer to me, for me there are those moistened pages with tears, tears of sensitisation towards what I was ignorant of, for me there are those folded corners in my book that remind me of what inspires me.
For me, books are my closest friends, they do take me each step closer to the understanding of what my soul is made of. For those of you who know me well, would know that I am this chirpy person who really likes the hustle and bustle, I like to keep going. I would rather say, I am too restless to be stationed in silence. But, to the contrary when I do need to press pause, books bring me back to rest in a world of restlessness, it helps me rejuvenate and reconnect with myself.✨
So, to my dear book lovers, what magic does books put out in your world?
Brave Not Perfect ✨
On this International Women’s Day, I didn’t talk about establishing equality, I didn’t talk about of how dividing sexes has created a gap that seems challenging to fill. I pondered about something much more simpler than that, something that we as an individual can contribute towards.
One of these evenings in the past month, I stumbled upon a TED talk by Reshma Saujani. It is a beautifully delivered talk where she points out something so simple, yet bitterly true. She says, “if only women were socialised to be brave, instead of socialised to be perfect.” By the end of the talk, I had a beautiful smile on my face, but by the end of the day – I had excruciating pain in my heart and, by the end of the week I was still not over what she said. It bothered me. It bothered me for the bitter truth she spoke about in her talk, mirrored my life.
I, myself have been a prey to the socialisation of being perfect over brave, the very fact that failure will knock me down has scared me to the core of my being. It always made me choose the less riskier options for my career, so that I may not have to leave my career altogether. Back in my 2015, I was in my final year of undergrad and it was time for me to decide on what to do next. I had multiple options on my mind ranging from MSc. to MBA, until I finally made my mind to stick with MBA. To get into any reputed B-school one has to go through the tiring process of competitive exams and that’s where I witnessed the coward in me. I chose not to give CAT/GMAT for my fear of failing in the first attempt. The fear got magnified with the thought that dropping an year is not an option – my family would rather have me married than to see me strive at what I wish to do with my career.
This social stigma turned me into this calculative cog, taking the most risk averse decisions in life, especially when it comes to career. So, I took the less riskier path, got into a tier 2 B-school, because I feared, ‘I might fail’. Data tells me, this isn’t just my story; As per CAT registration data for 2020 only 0.5x times women have registered over men. I am not saying that the data is causative in nature, all I am saying is, it indeed is reflective of something.
Not only was I conditioned this way for myself, I have been conditioned this way for anyone who would come to me for advice, if what they are choosing involves risk/failure, I’d rather advice them to take the less riskier path and sideline their passions. And, I pity myself for my thoughts, for not having tried, for not being brave enough.
Our girls all across the world have been conditioned that they genuinely rather show ‘not having tried’ than to show ‘failure’. If only someone taught me to wear my imperfections as a badge of bravery and my perseverance as a road to success.
This International Women’s Day, I decided to bring a change, in myself – to not be afraid of failing and of encouraging every girl around me to be more fierce than to be perfect. ✨
Link to the video that inspired me: http://Reshma Saujani: Teach girls bravery, not perfection https://www.ted.com/talks/reshma_saujani_teach_girls_bravery_not_perfection
Liberty for the soul ✨
“A bad day for your ego, is a great day for your soul.” ~ Jillian Michaels
‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ has been one of my all time favourite memoirs, for nothing but the simplicity of the conversations there is in this book. Morrie on his deathbed imparts his sound advice and sums his understanding of life for his student. While having read this book many years back, there is a lesson in this poignant memoir that got inscribed in my heart.
Morrie asks a rather rhetorical question, “There is no point in keeping vengeance or stubbornness…Pride. Vanity. Why do we do the things we do?”
This part in the memoir triggered a chord in me, it lead me back to my personal losses; I lost my father while I was very young, and though my behaviour back then would not count as anything but sheer ignorance, it sure did make me feel that life is too short and you may not get the chance to express what you are feeling in your heart for people around you.
It brought with it a change in my behaviour, every time some issue would crop up with anyone I am associated with, I would always ask myself – what is your display of ego all about? Is your ego/pride bigger than the person? It has without a doubt helped me shed my ego away, to not hold grudges to become a more forgiving person and this feeling gives me a sense of liberty, liberty from what it could be a life of regrets when the curtains of my life fall.
This thought also triggered in me to express what I have in my heart for my dear ones around me, if not each day, everyday, but at least on those special days like Festivals/Birthdays – to tell people that they matter and I love them with all my heart. Because, life really is short and it is meant to be lived, celebrated, appreciated but not wasted in our false sense of pride or ego.
So, today maybe a good time to catchup with someone whom you haven’t spoken to because you’ve held a grudge in your heart; ‘cause my friend, trust me – it will make you feel lighter and liberated from the weight of your own ego. 🙂
Transient Guests ✨
“Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go.” ~ Mooji
One of the most profound learnings that have come to me is – separating my being from my feelings; of understanding, all that I am feeling is NOT me, all that I am feeling is just transient stir of emotions caused by external or internal upheaval. Continue reading “Transient Guests ✨”
inilluminare 