Here it is! My custom-made gift to myself! An adorable kidney plushie with an extra vein! My donated kidney has an extra vein, so I requested the seller to crochet an extra one. I also chose the color and little eye lashes. How sweet!
She’s a nurse who makes the most adorable organ plushies.
It’s hilarious because it’s my left kidney that was donated, and this kidney here is a right one. I forgot to request it be a left kidney 😆 She automatically makes right ones. Now, I have two right kidneys.
My actual right kidney doesn’t have an extra vein (it does have an extra artery). 🤣 So, this kidney can’t represent either one, accurately lol
I LOVE this, though, it’s the cutest. It’s perfect, just how I imagined.
Kidneys are just so adorable. They’re the cutest organ. And they pee! For some reason, that makes them even cuter. It reminds me of a pet or something lol 😍🫘💙💚
Happy, Happy Birthday, Lefty!! 🫘💚💙 And many, many more!! 🥳🎊🎉🍻 🎂
I lit the candle for my dogs because they get special treats for every single special occasion and holiday. As soon as they see a cake with a candle lit, they go wild, yelling for their special treat. They know the words “cake” and “birthday.” So, this was a “birthday” for them, too. Lol
“To save one life, it’s as if you saved the world.”
(Content warning ⚠️: There’s a picture of a human kidney in this post at the end lol)
January 16th.
My favorite day of the year! The one day a year where it’s still appropriate for me to brag years later 😆 To everyone else, it’s old news now, but, to me, it never gets old lol
Each day leading up to 1/16, I can’t wait. It’s like having two birthdays, except even better. I even buy myself a cake and gift to celebrate the best thing I ever did.
On 1/16/2024, I donated one of my kidneys to a stranger.
It was my calling and lifelong dream.
It was a gift given out of love for my fellow human & sentient being without care about what person were to receive it. The less suffering in the world, the better.
I knew the potential benefits to a recipient outweigh the rare potential short-term & long-term risks to myself. And even if I were to experience one, at least it’s because I tried to help someone. I could never regret it (Unless I find out he’s a Cowboys fan 😆 JK, I always have to throw that joke in somewhere, I even wrote it in my thank you letter to my transplant team lol)
My decision was inspired by a true story I read many years before, about a man who donated his kidney to an anonymous stranger. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I ever read, to give a literal piece of himself to save another.
I instantly knew I would do the same one day. Almost two decades later, I did! If I have more than enough of something for me, it makes complete sense to give some to someone who needs it.
Two men were saved through my one kidney donation. I volunteered to give my kidney to whoever needed it and was a match for me. It was an anonymous donation that was given to “the next person on the wait list.”
I share a set of kidneys with a 50 something year old man in Minnesota. I love to joke that I’m in two places at once and can pee for two 😆
Because I donated through the National Kidney Registry, I was given a kidney voucher to give to anyone in the country I wanted. I chose someone who wasn’t close enough to the top of the deceased wait list but was in urgent need. I did not know anyone who needed a new kidney and so gave it to another stranger I heard needed one.
He was brought into the system to receive an anonymous living donor kidney because I gave him the voucher. He got the kidney of a living person who was donating for someone who isn’t a match for that person.
My kidney voucher recipient, Greg, received his new kidney just over a year after my non-directed donation!
Coincidentally, we live only fifteen minutes apart and are a match!
So, I was going to donate to him directly, before an anonymous recipient was chosen for me. But, he had some more work before being cleared for transplant, so I moved forward with non-directed donation.
We are now good in-person friends!
We have similar views and values and some similar interests and sense of humor. I wasn’t planning on becoming friends with either of my recipients. Just planned on helping someone and going on my way with no strings attached. But we have become good friends and turned out to have much in common!
I have no contact with the person who has the kidney I gave. Maybe one day!
I think of both of my recipients as my kidney brothers. 💙
It was and still is the most incredible thing I ever did. I had no idea the significant change it would inspire in me. A change that has become even more prominent as the years go by.
My intention was only to help someone, but in the process, it also changed me for the better.
No one else can see it on the outside, but on the inside, I am forever changed. It has become so much an ingrained & essential part of my identity that it’s like I wouldn’t even be the me I am now without this experience. Sometimes, it’s like nothing else even matters when I think of it.
It serves as a kind of buffer against the stresses and disappointments and tragedies of life. Whenever I feel something dragging me down, I remember this, and it pulls me right back up. It brings me comfort in situations where I would be inconsolable. When my depression flares up with feelings of worthlessness & insecurity, I remember my own life literally, physically, saved someone else’s, and am reminded of how powerful & valuable each life is, and I push through, knowing I can do even more good.
When I look around at all the tragedy & destruction in the world, all the hatred and wrongs and evil, I am reminded that I did the absolute best I could to counter that, by loving my fellow humans in the ultimate way there is to love: Showing them that their own life matters enough for me to risk my own to save theirs, no matter who they are.
I’m like a colorful 3d version of what used to be a grey stick figure. It made me better in a general way. Even when I’m not consciously thinking about it, I can feel it.
It’s not that I was unhappy before or anything like that, it’s just the experience added so much depth to me in a way that’s unimaginable & indescribable. But I tried my best to put it into words.
I wrote a very long (you know me with the paragraphs long essays 😆) thank you letter to my transplant team at Penn Hospital before being released as a patient recently (we stay a patient for two years after our donation surgery). They loved it.
I would like to share part of that letter here:
I used to think of living kidney donation in a limited way, that it helps someone live, and their friends and family get to still have them around. And that was motivation enough for me to regift one of mine.
But, after this experience, I began to realize it’s so much more expansive than that. Countless things are going to happen when a person’s life is saved or changed that would never happen if they weren’t saved or changed for the better. It has an unfathomable and boundless ripple effect.
That person will go on to do things that will contribute to an infinite amount of other things. They’ll do work, engage in acts of kindness, have many encounters with various people, develop relationships, maybe have kids, and those kids will do an infinite number of things, on & on. When one person is saved, their life will have a limitless impact on the world, there’s no telling how many more will be helped, touched, or saved in various ways because that one person’s life was spared.
Even way into the very distant future, the impact of our choice to donate our kidney could still be existing even if it doesn’t involve the recipient or donor anymore. This isn’t just true for organ donation but any choice we make. Any choice, good or bad, any act of kindness, can have a lasting effect we can’t foresee and may never know.
This is true for every single one of us. We all impact everything around us in ways we may never know. Each impact we have will go on to create more effects. On & on & on.
The decision we make to give life doesn’t only help our organ recipient and voucher recipient, if we have one, but every single life they go on to touch.
We have no idea how powerful our own life is, no matter who we are or what we do. Every little thing we do touches someone or something for better or for worse.
If the thread that is us was missing, the uni-verse would not be the same. Part of it would unravel. We’re all connected in an infinite amount of intricate ways we’ll never fully understand. We’re all a thread in the tapestry of life, holding each other together.
After giving my kidney to save a stranger’s life, I understand this now in a deep way I never did before. It’s so enlightening.
I love being part of the whole organ donation family and feel a sense of kinship & belonging with all the other donors, donor families, recipients, and their families.
My body “lost” a kidney, but I received so much more in return.
My kidney donation has given me this whole family, a new friend, an expanded life perspective, and most of all, the gift of seeing someone’s whole life change, dramatically, for the best.
Even though it wasn’t my intention or expectation, my experience with kidney donation truly has given me just as much as it has given those who received the gift of life out of it.
💚
That’s an “excerpt” out of my thank you letter to my healthcare team.
I dropped off a copy of it in person along with gifts, and gave six of the team members a copy, personally, the ones I worked with most closely. They were so thankful and said they were blown away!
My surgeon called me and asked for my permission to share it in a mass e-mail within the Penn network lol Of course, I said yes!
It took MANY people to come together to save the two who were saved by my kidney donation, not just me. It took their friends & family & others advocating for them and helping with resources, and all the healthcare workers involved. Both of them received a kidney not only because of me but because someone else donated a kidney also.
The man who shares my set of kidneys with me received mine because someone donated theirs for him to get mine. If it wasn’t for Greg’s family & friends sharing his need for a new kidney, that information would have never reached me.
That’s the beautiful thing about organ donation & kidney chains, it’s so life-affirming and shows just how valuable one life is, that countless people go to great lengths to save that life.
I get all the credit (lol), but, truly, we ALL played an equally crucial role. If just one of us was missing, things would be significantly different. It’s possible someone may not even be here today.
It’s a beautiful thing to be a small part of.
The scars have faded. But the joy and sense of relevance never fade no matter how much time goes by. It’s not on my mind as much as in the beginning, but it’s always with me, and when thoughts of it or reminders pop up, it’s like an instant dopamine surge. Like being in love & walking on air.
I truly, inadvertently, gave the absolute best gift to myself when I gave the gift of life to someone else.
At the end of this life, whenever it may be, this one decision alone makes my whole life a success.
I would make the same decision again & again.
I also thank my transplant team at Penn for trusting me to donate my kidney! I take the best care of my remaining kidney and am overly cautious with it. I don’t ingest anything that can hurt it without checking first and make sure to water it regularly!
I am just as healthy with one kidney as with two.
I share my story for three reasons, because it makes me happy, because it uplifts others to read/hear (who doesn’t like a good Hallmark-like story 😆), and because it brings visibility to organ donation and may hopefully inspire even just one person to become a living donor and/or register as a potential deceased donor.
There are a couple of people alive today because I read that story many years ago. If I just heard we can donate our kidney to a stranger, I may not have, I’m not sure. But reading a true story about someone, personally, who did, it made me see something in myself like that person and motivated me even years later.
You never know who you or your life may be inspiring!
I see my experience with the perspective of this amazing thing I got to experience more than look at this amazing thing I did for someone else. It’s better than I ever imagined it would be.
And two years later, it makes me even happier than when I first donated my kidney because it took a while to process and finally fully sink in, this profound & rare thing I did, because I have since become an organ donor ambassador with the Gift of Life Program in Philadelphia, bringing awareness to organ donation, and get to work with and connect with others who share my passion, and because now my kidney voucher recipient got his new kidney, and because we are now friends, which we weren’t really in the beginning.
We attend organ donation events together, living donor celebrations, do 3k walks for organ donation/kidney disease awareness…It just gets better & better.
Cheers to my kidney twin in Minnesota, and Happy Kidneyversary!! 🥂🎉🎊
Many, many more for the both of us 💚
Also, will celebrate my other kidney brother’s Kidneyversary coming up in early February!!
(Those things on my legs are not bruises and nothing contagious lol It looked much worse but is healing now. It’s an allergic reaction. It affects various parts of my body, my legs get hit the hardest. It’s literally impossible to avoid my trigger. Thankfully, it never affects my breathing, even though it can)
This was my FB post earlier, just sharing here!
Yesterday was a special day! It was the last day of my living kidney donation journey at Penn Transplant Institute!!
We stay a patient at the transplant center we donate at throughout our evaluation to become a living organ donor and then two years after the donation surgery, if we get accepted. Then, they let us go, and we’re on our own.
The first two years of medical test results after donation surgery is used for living kidney donation research. Our transplant team tracks our results to use for statistics & the future of living donation. It’s a requirement we have to agree to, to get accepted. We don’t pay for our medical testing the first two years or throughout our evaluation. The recipient’s health insurance does.
I was a patient there for almost three years 💚
My journey began in March 2023 when, at the spur of the moment, I filled out an application on a train one night after work, to give my kidney to anyone who needed it, and ended in January 2026, with a perfectly functioning solitary kidney, and two lives saved. 💙
I get this heartwarming feeling in my chest just writing this.
I loved every second of it and am going to miss it! It was nothing but happy & positive. It’s always uplifting to interact with the Penn staff, whether on a video call, through the patient portal, phone calls, or in person. I still remember so many of my interactions there and where I was when I got phone calls & messages.
Yesterday morning, I had my last appointment there.
It felt like a kind of graduation day. Lol Some (medical) tests and surveys for the last years, and now I’m done!
It feels like something being complete or accomplished. There was something very sentimental about my last day there. It made me think back to the beginning, the thrill of anticipation and new beginnings, always having this big thing to look forward to. Now, it’s already three years later!
I decided I should do something to celebrate 🥳 So, I bought myself a pretty and very inexpensive necklace at a boutique lol I chose a heart to represent my act of love. I’m not wearing it in this picture because I want to paint it with clear nail polish to preserve it as long as possible lol This necklace is one my recipient bought me (it doesn’t have to be painted lol)
I never had the perfect grades in school to be a student at UPenn. It’s one of those elite universities.
But I did have the perfect kidney to be a patient at the living donor center at UPenn hospital!
Just like the university, it’s very difficult to get accepted into Penn as a living donor, they’re very selective. They must have really wanted that kidney lol 😆
I got my two year kidney function test results! And then, we talked about my results at my appointment yesterday and how to keep my remaining kidney safe throughout life.
Once a year, I have to get medical tests to see how my remaining kidney is holding up after losing its counterpart. I also have a glucose test each year. And I have to have my blood pressure checked every six months or less.
Sometimes, after kidney donation, the remaining kidney fails, and the donor needs a transplant (This is VERY rare). It doesn’t always happen right away if it’s going to. It can happen at any point after donation surgery. It usually happens within the first ten years when it does happen. There’s never a point where we’re “out of the woods,” though.
We all know this before donating. They make it very clear. During the psych evaluation, they ask us how we would feel if we ever need a kidney transplant after donating ours.
Can’t say I would quite like it, but it was worth the risk. I would get to say it’s because I helped someone. So many are sick for no good reason. I would never regret it.
Someone else already needed a transplant NOW. I think of the fact that “maybe” I could need a kidney transplant later, as a privilege or “luxury” that someone else did not have. For someone else, there was no maybe.
So, we’re recommended to get lifelong tests once a year after leaving our transplant center. We can also become diabetic after donation. That’s the number one reason for kidney failure in the U.S. So we should have a glucose test at least once a year.
Anything that isn’t good for two kidneys is especially not good for only one. When there’s two kidneys, they each take a hit of whatever is a.ttacking them, so it’s split evenly. With only one, it takes it all on its own. This is why I’m generally keeping my sodium, protein, and added sugar low/in moderation.
Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels!
I have to avoid NSAIDS & herbal/vitamin supplements. It’s one of the very few lifelong restrictions.
Donating a kidney also puts us at an elevated risk for elevated blood pressure that can require medication to keep under control. And seriously elevated blood pressure can damage the kidneys. That can also develop at any point, even years after donation.
It’s not extremely uncommon to develop blood pressure problems after donation because the kidneys regulate blood pressure. Having one removed can result in needing medication to keep it under control.
So we need our blood pressure checked every six or less months.
If it does happen, it’s usually easy to manage. My diet & lifestyle are already conducive to having healthy blood pressure, and I have no family history of any problems. So, that lowers my risk, and if it does happen, medication would control it without me having to do much else.
Everyone can actually benefit by annual kidney & glucose checks and frequent blood pressure checks. Even with two healthy kidneys. It can happen to anyone. And many people have some elevated risk factors. There are often no symptoms at first. If we get regular checks, they can catch it before it’s too advanced.
Righty is holding its own!!
Two years later, and it still got it!
My solitary kidney is functioning perfectly and as expected! It’s kicking a.ss all on its own lol No concerns at all.
My glucose, on point. Not diabetic or prediabetic.
Everything else was checked, including my sodium, potassium, calcium….it’s all perfect. All within normal range.
My most recent blood pressure was 104/72. Perfect.
My body weight is perfect.
There was nothing in my test results even slightly off.
At my visit yesterday, we went over my general diet, lifestyle, any medications I take (none),…literal perfection. (with the exception of my dental issues lol)
They don’t want anything at all to change and want everything to remain stable. “If perfect’s what you’re searching for, then, just stay the same.” 😆 lol jk
Going into middle age (except I feel 25 years old lol) healthy as can be!
It’s like an early 40th b-day gift to find that I’m completely healthy. 💚
Health is the greatest wealth.
I thank my super kidney for holding up so well. It stepped up to the plate and picked up the slack, no problem! And still going strong after two years!
I’m thankful for my amazing health not only for the good it does me but what it allowed me to do for someone else. It’s a gift to be able to share it and make someone else healthy, too. If I had another one to give, I sure would! 💙
I loved my experience at Penn and am proud & honored to get to call myself one of their “alum.” Lol
Yesterday, at my last appointment with one of my transplant team members, she thanked me again for my kidney donation (and for the thank you letter & gifts I dropped off, recently). She said it was an amazing thing to do for the whole community. I loved hearing that. The impact of organ donation is expansive & lasting. It never loses its relevance no matter how many years later.
I love being part of this whole Penn living donor community. I woke up this morning with that sentimental feeling again of my patient journey there being over. But I’m always going to be part of the community and have a place there. (They even took our pictures to put up in their center and had us sign a living donor flag! I love that 💙)
I plan to keep in touch with the staff through the events that take place every year, like the organ donor walks and celebrations. They asked for my recipient and me to join them at the events. They LOVE our story.
During the holiday season, along with some gifts, I took them a pages-long thank you letter, sharing our entire heartwarming story and all the amazing things we can do after transplant/donation. They said they were all blown away! They said they don’t usually get to know the full story or situation of their living donors, just some details.
So, they loved getting to read our whole beautiful story. It brightened their day to receive the gifts and letter. My surgeon called me and asked for my permission to share it!
I encourage anyone who has had an amazing healthcare team or healthcare worker taking care of them or a family member, to give a small gift and/or thank you letter/card (if allowed, not all places allow their staff to accept gifts or even cards or letters, so checking with the hospital’s HR is best).
It can leave a lasting impact or just brighten the day of someone doing one of the most important kinds of work there is, saving lives. They may even remember it years later or be uplifted on a stressful day when they see or think of the reminder. I don’t think healthcare workers hear thank you enough even though they’re not expecting it.
I love that I was able to send a bit of joy & love to my team at the end of my journey, to say thank you.
It uplifted them even more than I realized, and they couldn’t thank me enough. I wasn’t even expecting a thank you at all! But a few of them called me on their own cell phones to thank me and told me again at my last appointment yesterday. Knowing this, I definitely recommend thank you gifts, cards, and/or letters to healthcare workers.
💙💚
And today is a BIG day! It’s my 2nd KIDNEYVERSARY/Lefty’s 2nd birthday!!! 🫘
I ordered a custom cake & gift for myself to celebrate. I can’t wait to open my gift later today lol It’s something I had custom-made on Etsy. I kept it in the package because I did not want to see it til my day! Never even saw a picture online since it’s custom-made.
In the back of my head, I kept thinking I was going to cave and rip it open sooner. Lol I’m like a little girl who can’t wait for her birthday gift. But I managed to make it to the day! I’ll share it later, along with the cake and an anniversary post or two. 🩷 I have to go pick the cake.
My dogs love birthdays and candles. They get special treats for EVERY special occasion and holiday. They know the word “cake” and “birthday.” When they see a candle being lit, they go wild, jumping around, barking, waiting for their special treat. So, I got them a special treat and decided to light a candle on the cake later, so they can get all happy lol It will be a “birthday” for them 😆😍
This is a thank you letter I wrote to my kidney/organ transplant team and printed it out and took it to the transplant center at the hospital and dropped it off for them recently, with some small thank you gifts & cards. A few of them called me on their own cell phones to tell me how moved & uplifted they were by my story and gifts. They said it made their holiday season and even whole year. I even remember one of them using the term “blown away.” Lol They knew some details of my situation but not our whole story. My kidney transplant surgeon, Dr. Parsons, called me to thank me and ask for my permission to share this letter. I said yes!
We are released as a patient two years after our surgery, so in January 2026, I won’t be a patient here anymore. I was a patient here for almost three years, almost a year for my evaluation before surgery and then the two years after. I wanted to express my appreciation for the excellent care and deep compassion of my healthcare team throughout the last few years. And not only for what they did for me, personally, but the work that healthcare workers do for people in general. Healing people and saving lives is one of the best kinds of life work that someone can do. They can be doing anything, and they choose to literally save & enhance lives.
I would like to share the letter here. Everyone who hears or reads our story is amazed. Some even cry. Lol
The staff are a team of doctors, surgeons, nurses, physician assistants, med techs, and some others who are non-medical professionals but help in other ways. I hope to keep in touch with some of them through some of the organ donor events that take place, like the Donor Dash every April and the living donation celebration, hopefully every year.
Here is my letter to the Penn Transplant Institute staff:
To Mary Cate, Lauren, Nurses Cassandra & Ashley, Dr. Parsons, Colleen, and the whole Penn transplant and surgical teams,
Thank you all so much for your help & care throughout my kidney donation journey!! I’m thankful I chose Penn and would do the whole thing all over again & again if I could! I wish I had enough kidneys to give to every single person in need. It’s the best thing I ever did!
Not only did I get to help someone (possibly two people), but I also now have a great friend, which I wasn’t expecting. My kidney voucher recipient, Greg (you may have met/seen him, I brought him to the living donor celebration), and me were strangers when I heard he was in need of a new kidney. I was just planning on helping him and going on my way, no strings attached. But we have since become very good friends and have this unique & rare connection through our experiences that brought us together.
I was already accepted as a non-directed donor and in the process of donating my kidney to just anyone in need when I heard about a man in Philadelphia who was in urgent need of a new kidney. He was on dialysis for years after an unexpected diagnosis of end stage renal disease when he visited a doctor for suddenly feeling unwell.
He had no luck finding a kidney donor and kept getting sicker. Greg and his family were losing hope after years of waiting and failed attempts. A few of his friends & family members began the living donor evaluation process, but none were qualified. He was told it would take many years for a deceased donor. His only hope was a living one.
Greg had many hospital stays and severe complications of dialysis and kidney failure. There are multiple occasions, his family walked out of the hospital after visiting him, not knowing if they would ever see him again. He was constantly exhausted and in pain and getting infections. He had strict fluid & food restrictions and was constantly thirsty.
He had to quit his job because he became too sick to work. His life was in danger, and the quality of it was greatly suffering, and there seemed to be no end to his suffering. He said he spent hours and hours online, trying to find any bit of hope of eventually receiving a kidney transplant, but no hope was found.
His doctors told him he may not live the amount of years it would take for him to receive a deceased donor kidney because of how advanced his illness was. Greg said it was the darkest point in his life, receiving that devastating diagnosis and then getting sicker and sicker, living in a constant state of uncertainty without any glimmer of hope.
His dad and aunt had to become his caretakers and do mundane tasks for him. His family told me his suffering was becoming too much for him to bear and too much for them to have to witness.
Greg was struggling with the effects of dialysis and was in a deep depression. Just before I learned about him, he was on the verge of giving up and told his family he wasn’t sure he could go on much longer like this.
When I heard about him, I looked his family up on social media and sent them a message, introducing myself, and offered him the kidney voucher. I explained that I was already in the process of donating my kidney to just anyone in need, that my evaluation was already complete, and that I had the opportunity to donate the voucher to someone else, so that, if eligible for transplant, that person would be almost guaranteed to get a new kidney through my donation to an anonymous person, and likely somewhat soon, as long as there were no complications with the system or the person’s own situation. I told them I did not know anyone who needed it and would like to offer it to Greg after hearing how sick he was.
Greg and his family never heard of the voucher program and thought I made it up. They did not believe that I would donate my kidney to just anyone or that a complete stranger could just come out of the blue with a kidney for Greg, already qualified and ready for donation. They said it was too good to be true. It took a while to convince them that it wasn’t a joke or a scam.
They wanted to talk to Nurse Cassandra, but she said, even with my consent to break my patient confidentiality, the living donor team never communicates with a potential recipient or recipient family, when I asked for her permission for me to give them her work phone number so that she could tell them anything they wanted to know about me.
They only believed me after I showed them screenshots of my patient portal content, and even then, they were frequently afraid that I would change my mind about donating my kidney. At his family’s request, we got tested to see if we were a match for a possible direct donation. There was no potential recipient chosen for me yet, so I agreed to it.
Coincidentally, we turned out to live only fifteen minutes apart and be a very good match. His transplant team recommended that I donate my kidney directly to him. So, this was our plan for a while, as Greg was preparing to be evaluated for transplant.
But our situation turned out to be where it was better for him to have the voucher. We are both glad about this because then an extra person was potentially helped. Even when Greg was devastated and wasn’t sure he was going to live long enough to receive a new kidney when he found out he couldn’t have mine, he told me more than once he was so happy for the other person who would get my kidney and still tells me he’s glad it worked this way because that person was helped, too.
He remembered the joy and hope it brought him and his family and friends when he thought he was going to receive my kidney and said he was so happy that someone else and their family and friends now got to experience that. His empathy and compassion for others still ran deep even through his own despair.
That’s how I know I found a good one! I have told him, I don’t think in terms of “deserving” or “not deserving,” I want everyone to live and be healthy and don’t care what person/kind of person got my kidney (as long as he’s not a Cowboys fan! Then, I may have had to call the whole thing off or regret it 😆 jk That’s what I like to say when someone asks me what if a “bad person” got my kidney!), but if ever anyone “deserved” it, it would be him.
During his transplant evaluation, it was discovered that the dialysis & complications did severe damage to his heart, and it was a long journey to having that taken care of and being cleared for transplant. His condition was asymptomatic but life-threatening and putting him in imminent danger, even more than the kidney failure. So, he had two life-threatening health conditions at once. His prognosis, he was told, wasn’t good.
At that point, Greg’s healthcare team was not sure that Greg was going to live to be able to have a kidney transplant, they said the odds weren’t in his favor. The doctors he talked to refused to perform the heart surgery he needed because there was a significant chance he wouldn’t survive it. The news was shocking & shattering to Greg and his family. After just being so elated that he was finally getting a second chance to live and be healthy, they were told he may not survive much longer to ever get that chance.
I could have been waiting indefinitely. So, I decided to continue with non-directed donation, which was always my plan anyway and ultimately my preference as I like the idea of a random person being chosen and maximizing the impact by helping two or more. This was more distressing news for them, but I felt it was for the best for all of us. They understood my decision. Greg was devastated, but he chose to keep going and holding onto the sliver of hope he had, knowing he now had the chance, no matter how slim, for a new kidney, a chance that felt impossible before.
I made sure to only list his name on the voucher so him and his family would be assured that it would always be available for him whenever he was ready.
His family said even before we knew if it would all work out, just that little bit of hope I gave him was enough to pull him out of his depression and inspire him to hold on & keep going. It brought a little bit of light into his darkness, and even his physical health got a little bit better while he was still on dialysis because he now saw the possibility of life off of dialysis. He chose to keep focusing on the potential, the life that could be waiting for him at the end of the dark tunnel.
Greg found a heart surgeon who took the risk that no surgeon wanted to take. Even this surgeon was somewhat reluctant. He said he only risked it because Greg had a kidney donor/voucher already. If he wasn’t already so close to receiving a kidney transplant, the doctor would not have taken the chance. But he did, and he fixed Greg’s heart even better than the minimum he thought he could potentially do. Greg’s heart is now in very good condition. And he was placed back into the system for a kidney transplant.
On February 4th, 2025, just over a year after my non-directed donation, Greg received his new kidney and is doing amazing. He got his whole life back. He is especially thrilled because he is the biggest Philadelphia Eagles fan, and his Kidneyversary date turned out to be the anniversary of the 2018 Eagles Superbowl win!
In 2018, long before I met Greg, I bought a Philadelphia Eagles scarf with the date, “February 4th,” on it. In 2025, I dropped it off at Jefferson Hospital as a surprise gift for him after his kidney transplant on February 4th. I chose not to visit him so as not to potentially expose him to germs, but the nurses gave it to him for me. He said it was the best gift he ever received (the kidney being a close second. 😆)
💚
So, his transplant date is an especially special date for him! We are so happy about that! (And he got home just in time after his transplant to watch the Superbowl win again with his dad! Two big wins for Greg all in the same week, first a successful kidney transplant and then his team winning the Superbowl!)
Now, every year, we get to have two Kidneyversary days to celebrate, his & mine! The day that Greg received his new kidney was the most amazing day, it was like reliving the day I donated mine, except I got to be outside and not in a hospital bed. It was one of my most joyful, surreal experiences. And everything turned out perfectly for him, just like for me.
His doctors told him he’s so healthy now that he can realistically expect to live with his kidney for twenty or more years. They even said he can potentially live thirty more years with it. His transplanted kidney is working as well as it possibly can, and his general health is great.
He can work again after years of being out of work because of his illness. He got his old job back six months after his transplant! He loves his job and coworkers (many of the same ones, along with the same manager, are still there and warmly welcomed him back) and couldn’t wait to work again. He can go to concerts and games with his friends. We attended the Phillies game on Organ Donation Awareness/Gift of Life Night, hosted by the Gift of Life Program, and volunteered with them there to bring visibility to organ donation.
He said it was amazing and surreal that just less than a year ago, he was on dialysis, hardly even able to leave his house, and now he was there at a game, full of energy, and volunteering to help others get the life saving organ they need, just like he did. And he can travel to visit his family in another state. Before, he couldn’t even walk up a street without becoming exhausted.
He had the honor of meeting new friends (he even made a new kidney recipient friend at the living donor celebration!), and discovering a new cafe he loves that we visit frequently for breakfast together (and he doesn’t have many food restrictions and no fluid restrictions[The fluid restriction was one of his worst struggles, he was always extremely thirsty and found it hard to cope with that]. He still keeps his diet very healthy, though).
I have become an organ donor ambassador with the Gift of Life Program, doing volunteer work to bring awareness to organ donation and encourage people to register as potential organ donors. Greg is also planning on doing the training with the Gift of Life Program to become an organ donor ambassador.
Greg is 45 years old, and it’s like life is just beginning for him. He’s full of energy and life and hopes & dreams he wasn’t able to have before. He doesn’t have to spend hours living on a machine and then spend the rest of his days exhausted. He said he feels even healthier than before he got sick. He said he felt a significant difference in his health and energy as soon as he woke up after his transplant. The kidney began working instantly, and the effects were immediate.
He frequently tells me he’s going to pay it forward and make the world a better place, to give thanks for his second chance to live(He even says he wishes he could be a living organ donor now to show his gratitude and help someone else like he was helped. That makes me laugh!). Not that it’s necessary to me because just existing as a sentient being makes someone worthy of health and life, but he said he’s going to be sure to “earn” his new kidney.
Greg wasn’t registered as a potential organ donor, previously, and his experience receiving the gift of life, himself, inspired him to register as one. I find it heartwarming to see how much it changed him for the better and how one act of kindness can inspire so many more.
He makes friends everywhere he goes and is always doing acts of kindness like giving food workers extra big tips. It’s like he has more love & gratitude than he knows what to do with! It’s just overflowing onto everyone around him.
It always fills me with awe to hear the things he can do after being too sick for so long.
For years, Greg wanted to do the Donor Dash 3k walk, but he was too sick. Finally, in 2025, just two months after his kidney transplant, he was able to do the walk. It was his first goal after transplant. And he succeeded! We walked together. He can’t wait until the next walk and is already making plans to design t-shirts for his team. We also did the 2025 Kidney Walk together for the National Kidney Foundation in October!
He is going to begin working on his dream of becoming a dialysis tech to help people in the position he was once in. He said as a former dialysis patient himself, he will know how to comfort, encourage, and uplift the people needing dialysis. It warms my heart to see him so happy and know that, along with many others, I was able to play a part in him fulfilling his dreams and going on to help others.
I used to think of living kidney donation in a limited way, that it helps someone live, and their friends and family get to still have them around. And that was motivation enough for me to regift one of mine.
But, after this experience, I began to realize it’s so much more expansive than that. Countless things are going to happen when a person’s life is saved or changed that would never happen if they weren’t saved or changed for the better. It has an unfathomable and boundless ripple effect.
That person will go on to do things that will contribute to an infinite amount of other things. They’ll do work, engage in acts of kindness, have many encounters with various people, develop relationships, maybe have kids, and those kids will do an infinite number of things, on & on. When one person is saved, their life will have a limitless impact on the world, there’s no telling how many more will be helped, touched, or saved in various ways because that one person’s life was spared.
Even way into the very distant future, the impact of our choice to donate our kidney could still be existing even if it doesn’t involve the recipient or donor anymore. This isn’t just true for organ donation but any choice we make. Any choice, good or bad, any act of kindness, can have a lasting effect we can’t foresee and may never know.
This is true for every single one of us. We all impact everything around us in ways we may never know. Each impact we have will go on to create more effects. On & on & on.
The decision we make to give life doesn’t only help our organ recipient and voucher recipient, if we have one, but every single life they go on to touch.
We have no idea how powerful our own life is, no matter who we are or what we do. Every little thing we do touches someone or something for better or for worse.
If the thread that is us was missing, the uni-verse would not be the same. Part of it would unravel. We’re all connected in an infinite amount of intricate ways we’ll never fully understand. We’re all a thread in the tapestry of life, holding each other together.
After giving my kidney to save a stranger’s life, I understand this now in a deep way I never did before. It’s so enlightening.
Greg and me love our story, and we love to share it (we even found an excuse to share it with our lyft driver once!). There is nothing that either of us would change or wish was different.
He said he lives an almost completely normal life and generally feels like he’s not even sick anymore, other than occasional fatigue that his doctors said is normal for a transplant recipient, and having to take a lot of medication. He has a few side effects, but he said anything is better than dialysis and that he can’t complain.
There are so many seemingly small things he can do that healthy people may not even realize. When we think of someone getting an organ transplant, we often think of the most obvious things like the fact they can now go on vacations or have kids or get to meet their grandkids, or have a career…which is all great.
But there are so many simple joys that are now a reality for them, that are often overlooked by the healthy, like the fact that they can taste their favorite food again or eat ice cream (Greg was thrilled about this!) or not have fluid intake restrictions or can work in their garden, spend holidays at home with family instead of in a hospital, and just go for a walk outside without becoming exhausted.
Greg can now do all of these things and more.
I hope the same is true for my kidney recipient. I frequently think of him. I like to joke that it’s like having a long, lost twin out there somewhere! I was so happy to find out basic information about my kidney recipient when I asked. I had no preference but was a bit curious about the age & gender of the person, but I wasn’t sure it was ok to ask at first. Finding out that I have a “kidney brother” somewhere, was just as amazing as the day I donated my kidney. It made him seem more human in my mind and less an abstract concept, and added more joy to my already joyful experience.
I like to think that I have two kidney brothers. Maybe someday I’ll get to meet/communicate with my other one. But even if not, I’m so thankful for the opportunity to help someone! The joy never fades.
Sharing my kidney is just as much a gift to me as to my recipient/s.
Donating one of my kidneys to a person in need has been my dream for so many years since I read a heartwarming true story in a newspaper or magazine (It was so long ago, that detail is a bit hazy now), about a man who donated his kidney to a stranger. Being a dad inspired him, and he said we’re all the same beyond any differences, and anyone he looked at could be his own son and is just as worthy. It inspired me.
When I read that story, I instantly knew that would be me one day, sharing one of my kidneys with a person in need. Almost two decades later, it was! It just deeply resonated with me. I found it so beautiful to see the lengths that one human would go to save another, giving up a literal piece of himself.
I wasn’t sure when it would happen, but I knew one day, it would. If I have more than enough of something for myself, I see no reason not to give some to someone who doesn’t have enough. I had two perfect kidneys. And I have always been in perfect health. I wanted to share that so someone else can have even just a little bit of what I have. It made complete sense to me to give one away to anyone who needed it. The fact that I don’t know someone, or may not like the person, doesn’t make that person less worthy or less in need.
At that moment I read the story, it was not an urgent “calling” like it would become years later, but even then, I had this deep conviction that I have everything it takes and would do that for someone one day in the future. Through the years, thoughts about it were recurring, becoming more frequent and intense, often randomly, but not until 2023, did everything become perfectly aligned and right, giving me the motivation & ability to go through with it.
Some years ago, I, randomly, tried to donate my kidney at Jefferson Hospital’s transplant center. There was no particular reason I chose to then. I chose them because the location was very convenient with my work back then. But they stopped communicating with me with no explanation, then the initial covidvirus outbreak occurred, and my financial & work situations changed. I still frequently thought about donating my kidney to anyone in need and knew I eventually would.
That story I read many years ago stayed with me for all those years until my dream finally came true, 15+ years later. In March 2023, I saw a request on the subway one night after work, for a 76 year old Pennsylvania man, asking for someone to become a non-directed kidney donor and donate the voucher to him. I realized that I had the appropriate work, financial, and living situations again.
At that moment I felt the “call.” I knew instantly. It felt like being on the cusp of something incredible, a feeling that was lacking when I attempted to donate at Jefferson Hospital years earlier. The second I saw the request that night, without any hesitation at all, I looked up the National Kidney Registry and filled out the application on the train, to be a non-directed donor with intention to give the voucher to that man. If it did not work out with him, I planned to still donate my kidney to just anyone.
I knew the potential benefits to a kidney recipient significantly outweighed any potential risks to myself and that even if I did experience one or more of the rare potential complications at any point, at least it would be because I tried to help someone. I could never regret it. The only thing I would ever regret would be not taking the chance when I had it.
Someone else did not have the luxury of “maybe” that I had. Maybe I would experience a complication or maybe not, but someone else was already suffering complications of an illness, and all it would take was a small part of my body to help that. Giving up some of my comfort for a while, taking on a little bit of someone else’s pain, to possibly give someone a whole life, was more than worth it.
I knew as soon as I saw that request on the subway that it would lead me to do something amazing and profound, something I have always known I would do. There was this feeling like this is it, the seed that was planted all those years before, finally blossoming into fruition. There was no uncertainty, no hesitation. This remained true throughout my entire evaluation process. There was never a hint of reconsidering my decision or backing out. I had this overwhelming feeling like I was made to help someone, whether this person or someone else, and that in the end, it would all work out for the best for all involved.
Thankfully, it turned out that man on the screen on the subway was already helped by another stranger when my evaluation was through. 200+ people, mostly strangers, in & near Philadelphia, volunteered to give their kidney for him. Nearly all were rejected, but I loved seeing that it’s not as rare as people may think, for a human to reach out to help another struggling human, no matter what lengths they have to go. It inspired me that over 200 people did not hesitate to help a man in need, and I know many more would have reached out to help him if they saw his request.
So, I got to go on and help someone else. Ten months later, I donated my kidney to whoever needed it. That sign on the subway is what set the whole thing in motion. Those ten months brought me nothing but overwhelming joy. I loved the whole process and anticipation. It brought extra joy to my everyday, knowing I was about to help someone in need. I cherish the memories now. Some living organ donors talk about a big depressing “let down” after the whole thing is over, once the surgery takes place and the novelty wears off and there’s no longer this big thing to look forward to. But for me, the joy has only deepened since then.
I considered looking for another stranger in need to donate the voucher to after I learned that man was already helped. It was a coincidence that I happened to hear about Greg just as I was searching for someone in need. The donation process took a bit longer because I waited for Greg for a while until I realized non-directed donation would be best while donating the voucher to him.
Thank you for giving me that chance to help someone.
During the evaluation process, there was some concern about my depression history. I had to do another psych evaluation with the social worker in case the surgery or any aspect of donation triggered my depressive condition. I appreciated their care for not only my physical safety but also my mental health, but my experience had and still has the opposite effect! It elates me and lifts me, even in low moods.
I am just as healthy as when I had two kidneys! Nothing changed at all. I wouldn’t even know I had surgery or only have one kidney except for the scars (which I love, and wish would stop fading! Quite a few people who saw my incisions/scars {I love to show them off 😆} said I clearly had a great surgeon!). I remember just less than two weeks after my surgery, jokingly saying I wonder if they even took the kidney! I was nearly 100% back to my usual self already. I walked to my three week post op appointment! Two hours without stopping. And walked the two hours back home!
Greg and me both have had an extremely easy recovery with little to no pain or fatigue and no complications. We both have said it’s almost like we never even had surgery. I only needed the prescription pain med on my first evening home. Then, after that, never even needed Tylenol. And not one nap during my recovery! I was already back to work a few weeks later, just keeping the pets company who did not need walks (I’m a pet nanny for work), and a few months later, I was back to work completely with no problems at all.
I am as energetic as ever. I often walk 10+ hours a day and love to brag about how amazing that is for someone with only one kidney (even though I know having only one kidney doesn’t put me at a disadvantage for walking or any other physical activity)! I also like to brag about my two superpowers: being in two places at once (I heard that Lefty is somewhere in Minnesota!), & peeing for two 😆
None of this would have been possible for Greg and so many others without all of you on the living donor team and the work you do for living donors and, in turn, our recipients.
I thank all of you for being part of my journey and for all the work you do helping people and literally saving lives.
I found the whole Penn staff to be warm and caring. I remember having anxiety on my way to my first day of medical testing at Penn and even the night before. I was concerned that my blood pressure would not show as accurate because of my anxiety and was trying to think of ways to calm myself and my racing heart. Nothing was working. But as soon as I got inside and met the various team members, my anxiety completely dissipated, and every part of me became calm.
While the work itself is important, I also believe that the way healthcare workers interact with their patients is important and makes all the difference to us. I have received nothing but kindness, positivity, and compassion when interacting with the Penn staff, all throughout my evaluation process, hospital stay, and after.
The atmosphere at Penn is so positive and calming. On the morning of my surgery, I woke up with a palpable sense of inner peace that stayed with me even as I laid on the operating table waiting to go under. All of the healthcare workers in the operating room that morning were uplifting and funny and compassionate. And they played my favorite music for me, Oldies!
I was a half hour late for surgery because I got up later than I meant to and then got lost that morning and ended up in the wrong place with no idea where to go. The only person around was a friendly security guard who also had no idea where I was supposed to be. It held everyone up. I could tell a few of the doctors/nurses were frantic and trying to hurry up and get the whole thing going after having to wait for me.
I also overheard them talking outside the room about the challenges they had because of me showing up late (I’m still sorry!!). But none of them showed any anger or even annoyance, they even said it was no problem when I said I’m sorry. That’s one thing I always remember, the patience and understanding they showed me. They were also kind enough to take a picture of Lefty for me when I requested it before sending it off to its new forever home!
Another thing I have appreciated is the surgical team standing at the bed as I was waking up just after surgery, and gently saying my name over and over and telling me I was awake now. The first thing I saw was their smiling faces as soon as everything came into focus. And they told me I gave a beautiful kidney and thanked me for giving the gift of life. It can be confusing or startling to wake up somewhere that isn’t home, especially in a place like a hospital, before everything registers. They made sure I woke up knowing that everything was good.
That’s something I will always remember.
It may seem like a simple, unimportant thing, but it made my experience better and was a soothing and positive thing to wake up to.
Other than Dr. Parsons, I don’t remember the names of any of the doctors or nurses taking care of me that day or throughout my brief hospital stay, but I do remember that care, compassion, and patience.
I haven’t met one Penn team member who isn’t extremely caring and dedicated and welcoming.
I am in a living kidney donor group online with living donors all around the world, mostly U.S. donors, and one recurring complaint that I see is that some living donor centers do not show support or compassion to their donors after the surgery. They kind of forget about them or brush them off after the kidney is taken. It’s more common than we would like to think. I always tell people I have been lucky to not have this problem with Penn. Not only are we not dismissed or forgotten but are acknowledged with gratitude after our donation.
All of my questions before and after my kidney donation surgery, even the slightly off-topic ones that weren’t necessarily your responsibility to answer, were answered quickly and thoroughly, and the responses were always thoughtful and caring.
My interactions with most of the Penn team have been brief and not very frequent, but still, the impact is very positive and lasting.
I am writing all this in detail to remind you of the full extent of the impact of the work you do and the compassion you display. I know healthcare workers are often overworked, burned out, and sometimes constantly busy. It may not always be positive or easy work and can be stressful, I’m sure, but it touches countless lives for the better.
I am so honored to get to have this experience and to have worked with your team for the last few years. If ever I meet anyone considering living organ donation (I hope to inspire some along the way!), I will be sure to recommend Penn Transplant Institute and share with them my positive experience with you.
I love being part of the whole organ donation family and feel a sense of kinship & belonging with all the other donors, donor families, recipients, and their families.
My body “lost” a kidney, but I received so much more in return.
My kidney donation has given me this whole family, a new friend, an expanded life perspective, and most of all, the gift of seeing someone’s whole life change, dramatically, for the best.
Even though it wasn’t my intention or expectation, my experience with kidney donation truly has given me just as much as it has given those who received the gift of life out of it.
Even if I never got to know my kidney voucher recipient or my actual recipient, I would be so thankful for my opportunity to get to help someone, but getting to see firsthand the incredible impact, it adds to my experience.
I hope Lefty is doing well, and I will continue to take good care of Righty and bring awareness to living organ donation (and organ donation in general)!
My kidney donation journey at Penn is coming to an end after almost three years, so I want to say thank you and share with you my amazing experience before I go.
Thank you, again, to every member of the Penn living donor team, the surgical team, the general Penn transplant team, and all of the healthcare workers who took care of me during my hospital stay after surgery.
With love,
Kim
❤️There were way more than shown here lol I had three shopping bags full of gifts, some personalized for the people I worked with more directly, but most for the staff in general. 💙💚💚💙
So, there’s our story!
If you have a healthcare worker or team of them, I recommend showing them your gratitude & appreciation with a small gift, letter, or card. Unfortunately, this is not allowed at every hospital/health center, so, checking with the hospital’s HR first is a good idea. Healthcare workers are professionals doing their job, but they’re also just people who don’t expect it but love to be acknowledged for the good they do. They definitely don’t get enough of it. I was not expecting any of them to acknowledge my letter or gifts to them. I was almost sure they would appreciate it but wasn’t expecting busy Healthcare workers to really stop and acknowledge it. But they couldn’t express enough gratitude or joy!
You can brighten someone’s whole day or even leave a lasting impact just by sharing how they helped you or someone close to you or even just thanking them for the work they do in general.
This is a screenshot response that someone wrote to me on a meme I shared in my last post here, this meme:
This is my response to that person’s response. I understand the person has good intentions, but I can’t say I agree that gun violence is ever good.
My response:
I do think of myself as the same as them. I am the same as them.
Differences in political & moral views are not significant enough, in my opinion, to make us fundamentally different. We’re essentially the same. Not only are we the same species, we’re all sentient. That makes us the same.
That “we’re not the same” philosophy I see so frequently on “both sides,” hinders our empathy and only serves to create more of a disconnect with each other.
I’m human just like them. I’m a sentient being just like they are. Like them, I can experience pain and suffering, and, like them, I gravitate towards relief and pleasure and life affirming things. I don’t want my head blown off any less than they do.
I’m truly no different than they (people with different political/moral views than me) are. And I’m no more worthy of life than they are. If it’s not ok to blow my head off while I’m walking up a street or talking to people, then it’s not ok to blow theirs off, in my opinion. It’s sentience that makes us worthy of life, not our goodness.
Some may argue that it’s for practical purposes that some people are killed, but I don’t believe it’s helping anything or going to stop their ilk. They’ll still be spewing their nonsense after people like them are killed. Research even shows that in places where capital punishment is practiced, there’s even more violence and nothing to show that killing “bad people” deters other ones.
If they’re so full of violent urges and hatred, it’s unlikely that killing them off in violent ways is going to make the surviving ones more peaceful and loving and accepting. It will just provoke more fury in them, motivating them to act with more violence either physically or verbally or politically. When Liberal/Progressive people kill a Conservative person or they assume the murderer is a Liberal, all it does is “confirm” for them that the Liberals are terrible people and that Liberalism has to be obliterated.
The only justification for blowing someone’s head off, in my opinion, is if that person is an imminent threat to me or to someone else, not just because they spew nonsense, even if the nonsense they spew is ultimately harmful. And it should always be a last resort.
I have progressive political views, pro equality for all minority groups…some people think that makes me a threat to society. That doesn’t mean one of those people can walk up and blow my head off out of the blue.
So, it’s the same with people who have views that I know are dangerous to society. I can’t just blow them to pieces because I don’t like their views. These Conservative people legit believe Liberals and minority groups are a serious threat to society and that they’re doing the greater good a favor when they kill us or strip us of our rights.
They truly feel justified in killing us off and/or trampling on our basic rights. But as we know, that’s not ok for them to do that just because they believe it’s helpful or that we deserve it. If we feel equally justified in killing them off because we know they’re a threat to us all, that doesn’t mean we’re right. It seems hypocritical to me. We get to decide who lives and who dies or who is worthy of the basic right to life and who isn’t. It doesn’t sit right with me.
Our convictions are equally strong, yet it’s ours that is right, just doesn’t make sense. I know the difference here is that they actually are a threat where we aren’t. But, still, I think it gets dangerous when we start subjectively coming up with excuses to kill people for their views. And I think there’s a better way to deal with them.
They experience fear and pain. They have things that make them happy. They have friends and family who love them. They have little kids and pets who need them and are traumatized over the loss…it’s not ok to decide that it’s our place to take their life away just because they have repulsive views.
We have to tackle their views and keep them out of positions of power (I know that’s very difficult to do and a complex issue and easier said than done), not murder them. There’s always going to be despicable people with corrupt views, trying to make life difficult for others. I believe there are better ways to deal with them than killing them. There are people who find me just as repulsive as I find these people (I received death wishes, was told I deserve to suffer the “worst pain imaginable” and be killed after being tortured “beyond recognition” and more because of my political views, told I deserve to be caught in a massacre at a Democratic event), that doesn’t give them consent to kill me. It works both ways.
Also, I don’t necessarily believe that when someone kills someone for political reasons that it’s always for practical purposes. I think it’s often out of anger and “payback,” which is never wise to act on. I see many people rejoicing in a vengeful way when a political figure is shot dead, that shows it’s not just for practical purposes.
Having to kill someone, in my opinion, is never a happy matter. I get having to kill someone sometimes or not mourning for certain people when they die, because of how terrible they were. But there’s people just getting off on their deaths. That’s ok if that’s their inner experience. It’s not really my place to tell people how they should and shouldn’t feel about something. Especially when it’s an oppressed person rejoicing over the fact that one of their oppressors is dead.
Who am I to tell a trans person or a gay person or an African American/black person or a woman not to be happy someone who was working to kill them or take away their basic human rights is dead? But we can’t be acting on it or promoting killing for revenge. I believe for practical purposes, to make the country/world better for all, we should teach and promote more peaceful ways than killing.
Decisions, especially ones that have to do with ending someone’s life, should always be made, intellectually, and while in a rational state of mind.
Society isn’t going to progress by blowing each other’s heads off.
I picked up the morning paper The headlines were no surprise A random act of senseless violence Was committed again last night It seems the whole world has gone crazy And something needs to be done So, starting today, I’m gonna find a way I’m gonna repay someone With a random act of senseless kindness Unexpected hand to help remind us A little bit of love is a cure for hate It’s easy to give up, but it’s never too late A single step in the right direction Person to person making a connection We can change the world that’s become so violent With a random act of senseless kindness
Happy, healthy, joyful, full of energy 💕 This is a recent pic of me.
1.) The season changing! Bring on the pumpkin everything, the cool nights, all the Fall decor, the crunchy leaves, the cozy sweater weather, the horror movies (I watch them all year, but they have an extra thrill to them in the Fall) 🎃🍁🍂
2.) A scary movie I’m going to watch the rest of tonight. I tried watching it last night and fell asleep. I think it’s called “Bad Influence.“
3.) Meeting up with my friend soon for his birthday! I’m taking him out to breakfast at a cafe we both love! 💕
4.) An e-mail someone sent me, complimenting me! I volunteer as an organ donation ambassador with The Gift of Life Program in Philadelphia, and the director told me I’m a delight to work with! Made my day lol
5.) These vegan low cost protein shakes I just discovered at the Amazon grocery store that just opened up close to where I work! Delicious & healthy
It’s the little things! 😍
Share yours here if you want!
This post was meant for yesterday, but I forgot to share it lol
In my opinion, our compassion is best when it embraces all sentient beings.
Reasons:
1.) Our suffering is all the same whether we’re good or bad. 2.) At best, suffering does the world no good, and at the worst, it makes the world worse for everyone 3.) Ultimately, the “bad people” are like victims of their circumstances- this is not to say we have no choice, but our choices are often influenced by various factors, our mental health, our life circumstances, our upbringing, our culture, our privilege or lack of… and sometimes without us fully realizing the consequences or that we have other options. I don’t believe that under the best circumstances, anyone would essentially choose to be a terrible person. 4.) Our own minds are more peaceful when we wish others well.
This post is inspired by all the (understandable) enthusiasm I have been seeing about Donald Trump’s medical condition and all the wishes that more bad things happen to him.
I don’t believe he can be rehabilitated. I believe he’s a bad person and that there’s no hope for him. I am not one of those loving people who believe everyone is truly good and that everyone can be rehabilitated with lots of love and care. I think Donald Trump was born with the predisposition for being a “bad person.”
His condition reminds me of my condition, but mine is not serious. It can be painful but is not life or health threatening. I have jugular vein insufficiency and insufficiency of a few other veins in my neck because of an obstruction in my head. The obstruction is also not life threatening. The blood leaving my brain to go to my heart through these veins, can’t get there because of the veins being impinged on. So, the blood backs up into my head. Many veins are all doing the same job, so it doesn’t matter. It’s harmless. The blood is still getting to my heart.
I have recurring unbearable headaches associated with it, though. The headaches are 10/10 pain, at least within their own context. I guess when compared to some other kinds of pain, they would be less than 10 on a pain level scale. But like within the context of headaches. They bring me to the floor. I have been bedridden for days sometimes. I think it’s the obstruction itself that causes the headaches, not the vein insufficiency or blood backing up. That can cause severe pain, too, though, among many other things. When I have these headaches or think of them, my empathy for others becomes boundless.
Mine doesn’t cause swelling, but you can see the jugular vein bulging out of my neck. I had to have scans a couple of years ago to see why it was suddenly protruding and so prominent. The doctors were concerned it could be a blood clot somewhere causing it. But it turned out to be nothing serious. I convinced myself I was dying and had six months left to live (certain kinds of cancer can cause it to bulge, and when it’s to that point, the average person only lives around six months. I convinced myself I had that), and my heart rate and blood pressure were through the roof in a doctor’s office. They had to tell me to calm down and to stay off Google 😆
I don’t want him as President, he’s absolutely repulsive. He has no redeeming qualities. None. But I don’t wish him or anyone to be sick. I don’t believe anyone deserves to be sick any more than I do. We are all equal in our suffering and in our comfort. The goodness or lack of it in us, is irrelevant in this context. If Donald Trump was afflicted with one of my headaches, he would suffer the same as me. All sentient beings essentially want to live and be healthy. We all suffer the same. The headaches this brings me, I would wish on absolutely no one. I literally cannot bear the mere thought of someone else, even him, enduring what I do when a headache hits.
I believe the world would be a significantly better place if everyone was happy (not at the expense of others, but sincerely happy) & healthy. It’s people who are unhappy and hurt who hurt others. Happy, well rounded, people don’t go around tormenting anyone else. There are absolutely people who get off on hurting others (he’s one of them), it makes them happy. But that’s not genuine happiness, it’s happiness that often relieves whatever unhappiness that afflicts them. If they were genuinely happy, they would not inflict pain upon others.
❤️
Most of us have probably experienced this on a lesser scale, like for example, when we’re in a bad mood so we get snippy with someone when it’s not warranted. It’s displaced anger or annoyance. We may not usually do this, even when unhappy, but most of us have probably more than once been less than kind, when in a bad mood, to someone who did not deserve it. These people, though, live a life of that because they are always unhappy and are the kind of people who want others to suffer, too.
I don’t believe that everyone is basically good. But I think their lack of goodness is the result of their own suffering. Some people are born (and maybe upbringing often plays a part, but I think they have inherent or genetic inclination for it to begin with) never developing basic human abilities/emotions, like the ability for empathy and compassion. This does not result in true happiness. It results in the desire to hurt others, it brings them a superficial happiness. Donald Trump hurts everyone. And he gets off on it. He loves it. But we see he’s not a happy person.
Why do we think bitter, miserable people often insist on hurting others? Because it brings them relief or pleasure. They are seeking what we all seek. It’s just for them, their suffering influences it.
Wishing further suffering on them has no practical benefits. If anything, it only serves to perpetuate their abuse as their own suffering is the source of it anyway, and it doesn’t make our own mind any more positive or loving. It may bring us a moment of satisfaction again & again. But I don’t think it has any real value. At least wishing others well has potential to bring us inner peace, and then we’re more likely to interact positively with others.
Not all seemingly terrible people really are. Unlike Donald Trump, some can change. It’s dependent on the reason they are how they are.
I believe that if we were all given the choice before being born, to be a good and happy person or a bad and suffering person who goes to great lengths to inflict that suffering upon others, all of us would have chosen to be happy and healthy and good and someone who wishes that for every other being as well. Ultimately, no one chooses to be what Donald Trump is. Yes, he chooses to do bad things within the confines of the existence he was given. He’s a despicable person. Nothing changes that. But I don’t believe for a second that he would have chosen this if the uni-verse gave him a choice when he was still a “clean slate” if ever he even was. He was born suffering or was brought up to suffer, and now he wants the rest of us to suffer along with him.
Some people’s suffering inspires deeper empathy for others, but for others, it doesn’t, it has the opposite effect and inhibits empathy instead.
As the cliche goes, “Hurt people, hurt people.”
Suffering begets more suffering.
This doesn’t mean we always have to speak warm & kindly to everyone. Sometimes, people have to be told off & judged harshly and not get what they want. Some people need a firm ass kicking. It just means we don’t have to wish suffering upon them.
I believe it does no good to wish pain & suffering on others.
I wish he was happy & healthy and not born a psychopath. Me wishing that does no practical good either, though. But I think the world would be better and most of us more peaceful if more of us wished good things on people instead of bad.
People have countered my sentiment, saying anger & hatred fuel us to act for good. While that is sometimes true, compassion & love can fuel us just the same. Anger & hatred feel unpleasant and can get out of control and influence us to do things that are destructive to ourselves and others. Love & compassion can never go wrong. As I said, it doesn’t necessarily have to be warm and sappy and “feel good” feelings. It can be firm & harsh but still love. When anger & hatred frequently consume us, it leads to stress, depression, anxiety, physical ailments. When compassion & love consume us, it only leads to good.
I don’t know the source of this quote, the name here may not be accurate. I also see it attributed to Shantideva.
I have wished bad things on people before, and I probably will again. But that’s not the philosophy I hold, it’s when I give into raw emotion that I allow to overtake me and blind me. I always find my way back to me, the authentic me who knows the truth, that wishing suffering on others isn’t the way.
If I could, I would flip a switch and turn all the suffering in the world off, even for “bad people.” I would in a heartbeat.
Think about it, there must be higher love Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above Without it, life is a wasted time Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine Things look so bad everywhere In this whole world, what is fair? We walk blind, and we try to see Falling behind in what could be
Bring me a higher love Bring me a higher love Bring me a higher love Where’s that higher love I keep thinking of?
Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.
Years ago, like 20+ years ago, I was taking a college psychology class, and I met a girl who was taking the same class with the same professor but a different part of the day than me. So, we weren’t in class together. She did not have the money to buy the text book. My dad bought my books for me. So, in the evenings, I would write out the portions of the book she needed for assignments, exams, and quizzes in an e-mail and send it to her. It was very time consuming. I’m not even sure if that’s legal, likely not as it was enough for her to not have to buy the book. But it helped her immensely, and I don’t regret it lol I know what it’s like to not have enough money for something essential. And I remember having no idea what I would do if my dad did not buy my books. Where do they think an 18 year old is going to get $500+?
Back then, these phones with the cameras and all weren’t really a thing or as popular yet. And I had no scanner and never really thought of making copies somewhere, which would have been much easier. So, I spent hours just sitting there writing the text out for a complete stranger I never even met face to face.
I met her in a group online where she wrote that she couldn’t buy the book yet and was desperate for help and pleaded with anyone to send her the content. I could feel the desperation in her posts. She had no idea what to do. No one else responded, so I did. Saved her ass 😆
I love posts like this because it’s uplifting & heartwarming & inspiring to see the goodness in humans. When we share our acts of kindness, it can inspire others to be kind or just brighten their day.
A Dose of Inspiration 