Jagring

From the first time our eyes met

To our initial awkward conversation

Then readjusting position within peers

To our uncalculated kiss

Maybe our journey was just

From my lips to yours

Maybe..

There is only one place that I want to be

But the tickets to get there are not free

I won a lottery, a ticket to anywhere

But where do I go, your heart isn’t there

I lie on my mattress all night long

Listening to each word enunciated in ‘Edge of Desire’

With depleting darkness, comes dawn

Not this longing, but the night disappears

There is only one place I want to go live

But the trek there is an impossible give

Your heart is shut, someone else lives there

What use is now, this ticket to anywhere?

I’ve rooted peace in this place where I stand

In this oblivion where existence transpire

Glancing down in bittersweet contentment

From the tipping ‘Edge of Desire’

There is a story of love I know

Of joy, of sorrow, and all that life can throw

A story about you, a story about me

And everything else that could have been

Between the pages of a book your stories await discovery

And lying hidden in another book is my rutted story

Things we say and do, often when we are sober

Are calculated statements pre accounted for;

For societal dictates and civil conducts.

Often plastic, soulless and painted truths,

True emotions and intents buried deep

In fear of being ostracised or appearing feeble.

The most alive are days when we’ve been true

To oneself and to one’s emotions, inhibition less.

For one night, even under intoxication, we

Have lived the day exactly how we wanted it to be.

Often, we replay these moments in our minds

And imagine how perfect our lives could be.

Allowing oneself to be at the most vulnerable,

Yet reassured that ones back is target-free.

Stories we warmly recollect and share

Have all started with a ‘peg’ or two, to be fair.

I asked you out for a dance

Tipsy chemistry resonated potential

Convinced it was worth a chance

You felt like life’s essentials

Did you foresee a disastrous end

The chapter ending with a cry

Or was it fear for joy pre-labelled as unattainable

That you gave me up without even a try

A greeting hug and sharing a few steps together

Was the unbecoming of a stranger

Dancing at a club, four drinks later

You became more than familiar

A lot of you still unknown

Yet a gut feeling that you’re my own

How effortlessly the night unfolded

Mystically mountains had us remolded

Candle of dither flickers, and childish joy too

Gazing at the empty bed desperately wishing for you

The late night and early start demands that I unwind

So I replay one more glance of you across my mind

It was, but just one night

But for that night, you were my own.

Ever again if the city had you and me,

I wonder if such a night could ever be.

Unspoken words choke my throat

Uneasy fears constantly hover above me

These tales of the mute

I narrate to the deaf

Sinful paths have lured me in

Yet I fear no shame or remorse

And when I try to utter another word

Shadow of my own insecurities chokes my breath

 We are

Somehow indispensable

But no longer in love

Somehow complimentary

But stranger to touch

I don’t want you near me; neither do I want you far

Though I call you mine, you don’t feel my own

I lay romancing in someone else’s lap

For your heart have forgotten to love me

I lay ravaged in someone else’s bed

For your hands have forgotten to touch me

I drag these heavy shackles everywhere I go

It’s now the only way to live I know

Lucky are those who gets to embrace love

Even on its momentary

Most of us just get by in anticipation,

In regret, in jealousy, in anger, in melancholy.

In search of a just and equitable world where

All can love whoever they choose,

Where love is free, love is pure,

Where love comes with no inhibitions.

One’s freedom to love, shouldn’t dictate

Another’s to reciprocate.

Despite of all the people they could’ve loved,

They chose to love you.

In the ocean of ever changing space and time

Coping along with unpredictable tides

They have the freedom to love you from here till there,

Yet they choose still, to love you.

That once upon a time, despite all odds

If not forever, at least for a while

You chose to love me.

And that’s all that matters.

Suddenly the room shrank,

Made me claustrophobic,

Anxiety gripped me and my heart raced.

My heart knew before me

That you’ve walked into the room.