Jeffrey C’s Weblog

Well, it has been over a week since my last blog… I apologize when life is getting out of hand, it does not have the common decency to slow the hell down, weird. Well now that things are starting to fall back in line, as much as it can, I am pleased to say that things are going well. I am at the half way point of a two week job out in Pennsylvania, and I am looking forward to coming home, although it is the last job of the season, so I will be unemployed for a while, I can not say that is all bad.

I am just sitting in my hotel room right now, a room that has more than a hint of piss smell to it, not because it is a flop house for vagrants, but for the fact that fermented apple juice exploded ALL over my room. It seems that the apple juice in the lobby ferments at an alarming rate, three days, then in the middle of the night; BLAM!!! I thought the water pipes exploded, the room had apple juice everywhere; who knew?

Sorry that this blog is boring, I am bored, its 750 in the am and I have been up since 3 AM, more to come ; I look forward to a break from work!

So I have gone through a lot in the last year of my life, and the last two months have been no exception; if anything it seems up life kicked up that ass kicking a notch. On top of my grandpa passing away four weeks ago, finding out that some weird shit happened to me as a kid, my cousin killing herself, my girl friend dumping me, and my job ending in two weeks; I had a shitty day at work.

So I am not sure if my head was just not there today at work, but shit was just not going my way. I was taking a 150 pound sign down from the ceiling, trying to be careful since I was in the CD isle and I was doing this by myself; I was about to slide it into my sky lift, it had the last wire in it so I did not have to do all the balancing. Just as I was sliding it in, it started to tip, so I tried to grab it but it was to heavy and had way to much momentum; I tried to catch it but it old smashed my head, bruised my shoulder and elbow, and cut my fingers open… Then smashed the rack of CD’s below, it fell from 15 feet up in the air.

Then some other minor things, spilled my full soda all over myself and my food at Steak ‘N’ Shake, and fucked up the carpet.

What did I do in this life to have this? I thought over all I was a good person, but apparently karma has a different perception. The saying of “When it rains it pours” has never been more true, the only thing I want to know is when is it going to clear up and bring in the good days? It is really difficult not to get down on ones self when all this shit is going on. I love life, I love my life, but come on Hey-zusus, this shit is getting ridiculous.

I am not sure where I was going with this, I guess just venting, I am fed up and wanted to bitch to whoever will listen.

I just found out that my cousin killed herself, it is really hard and I am still in shock. I saw her about three weeks ago at my grandpa’s funeral, it was really nice to see her since she is from my dad’s side and it was my mom’s dad who died. I have not seen her in a long time, I have lost contact with that side of my family due to drama; me her and her brother used to be extremely close makes me really sad.
At my grandpa’s funeral it was weird, she apologized for a lot of thing; losing contact, not keeping in contact when I was in Iraq, and some stuff that happened when we were kids. I thought she was apologizing as part of a program or something (she had problems with drugs and alcohol, and manic depression), but I really think she was making peace before she moved on.
I am just so shocked, I feel like I want to throw up…

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