Jumping in the boat

I am 100 % in the now 😊

Sobriety can be as awesome as breathing in the smell of crisp fresh air while hiking through the northern mountains. That rush of life that makes you glad to be alive
Makes you feel like u can do anything.  
I am thankful for another day.

​How do I stay focused on having the right attitude?   How can I become carefree and live for the moment?

To leave behind heavy anxiety that my thoughts do use and share in the space within my head. 

Imagine if I could trade heavy anxiety for light hearted freedom.     Can I stop from falling into my old habits both physical and emotionally?   I really don’t have to be  trapped in my mind.  Being trapped with negative thoughts does not allow room for the unfolding of the now. 

The present is all that is really needed.   How do I focus on  where I am at that particular split second? …that second  will never come again. So why waste that time on anxious thoughts?  Rather then focusing on the past or future. Stay in the now. Be 100% there.  

My days without wine I am more in the NOW .

  Make sure what your doing in life is consistent to what you want out of it.  By Jane Christmas. 

   I have been staying at my daughters now for 10 days.   Eagerly awaiting my 2nd grandchild to be born.   

A bit of back ground about  where she lives.   They have a home in North ontario. Deep in the woods. Closest town is a 20min drive. At night the sky is so black and the stars are so bright. There are no street lights nearby.  No cars on the road. No stores are close.  Just the woods. 

My stay here has really made a few things very clear about my home lifestyle.   At home I am way too stressed out.  Sometimes stressed for really no reason at all. When I had free time I usually would have no idea how to use it. Instead  I would abuse that free time.  Rather then enjoying the moment I would instead dull the moment. 

While here in the north. There seems to be an over abundance of free time. During this time I have learnt it’s ok to do nothing.  Just to be. Or just to sit and read a book.

I’m here for another 6 days. I hope in learn more about how just to be.

BACK TO DAY 1  

My son in law opened a bottle. I knew I should say no. I have not shared with them that I am trying not to have wine for 30 days.  For 3 days that bottle sat there unopened. Today I said yes.

But before I beat myself  i am making improvements. … in 15 days I went 13 days with out  wine. Those 15 days I had 1.5 bottles of wine.  I usually would have had 15 bottles of wine.  It’s a battle but I am fighting it.

Back in the boat I go.

I will miss seeing the sober counter hit 10 tomorrow. 

Back in the boat I go

EACH night I go to bed and have not had a drink I am thankful.   EACH morning I wake up and I did not have a drink the night before I am proud.  EACH week that passes and I have not had a drink I am healthier.    Moral of the story is EACH moment counts.

1 week no wine.  Feels so good.

Someone bought me a bottle of wine today. I said thank you. I really wanted to say please take it away. But I am not ready to share with people this battle of the wine I am in.  The bottle still sits there.  I can’t toss it for I am staying at my daughters and it was my son in law that bought it for me. We had just made it through a 2 day power outage.  It was his congrats gift for surviving like a pioneer during those days. No water toilet or lights.   Tonight I shall make tea.

I have made it back to day 5.  Very pleased that I have come back to adding up those days.  5 days ago when I decided to have wine I was heart broken to turn the ticker back to day 1. It would have been day 10 today if I had not made the choice to drink. I ask myself was the 3 hours of drinking wine worth turning the sober clock back to the start.  ANSWER…NO.

I AM SO HAPPY TO BE BACK ON DAY 3 AGAIN.

Starting to see and feel the changes in me.      This morning I felt so aware and ready for the day.  No head fog. Usually I wake up with such a bad taste in my mouth. Also wake up drying of thirst. But not today. Today my body woke up in good condition. I did not abuse it from the night before.

For the next week or more I am visiting my daughter.  It feels so good to be 100% there.  I use to have wine in my hand at all times. Now it’s coffee tea and water.

When I return home I will be in the 14 day or so dry time. This is when my work really begins. I feel being back to work and old routines could lead to some temptations.  Just being aware of that I feel is part of the battle.  Time for  me to show that little voice in my head who is boss.

Looking forward to my days adding up.

I am feeling good. I’m back in the boat and staying strong and dry.