Last night I followed a porn star on Twitter. This may come as a shock, but despite being an erotica writer I don’t really watch porn- I like to read about sex, not watch it on my laptop, and I’m more likely to be watching Penny Dreadful, or Sons of Anarchy on Netflix. So I hadn’t heard of the superfamous adult film star, Stoya, until I came across her twitter page.

Now, the lingering prude in me started to click off to somewhere else, like immediately. I’m an erotica writer, but I’m not into porn, right? Except- it’s all about human sexuality. And that’s a pretty important part of what makes us, us. Sex isn’t bad or wrong, it’s pretty awesome and oh yeah, necessary for the survival of our species. Our culture gives us mixed messages- an onslaught of sexually titillating imagery, particularly related to advertising, combined with an out of whack morality that labels women who enjoy sex as sluts.
Unless you’re a big fan of the industry, you likely don’t hear much about porn stars in mainstream media, as if there was something shameful about what they do. Growing up it made me think that there probably was something shameful about it. As a woman, I’m not supposed to approve of the porn industry because it exploits women, isn’t that the line? And all those poor girls, what terrible things must have happened to them, to make them want to do that kind of work. But perhaps they like sex. Or money. Maybe they like money. I like money. Why do we continue to feel that women in the adult industry are emotionally scarred or in some way oblivious to their own plight?
I started reading some of Stoya’s tweets. She’s smart, she’s articulate, and I don’t get the feeling at all that she’s being exploited by anyone. In fact, I think she’s building an empire. It’s inspiring. I had to click ‘follow’. Then, curious, I googled her. And got a clip of one of her films. She was having sex. Rough sex. And it was hot. And it looked an awful lot like she was in control and about as un-exploited as you can get. She’s also responsible for Trenchcoatx, a curated platform for episodic porn, a la carte. It’s kind of genius.
So long story short, I’m now a Stoya fan, and as cliche as it sounds it’s changing how I perceive the porn industry and especially the men and women who act in the films. Feminists are supposed to be pro-women. That’s ALL women, not just those in professions deemed respectable by some intangible authority.
Oh, and her Instagram is filled with pictures of her really cute cat.
For those looking for a quick, hot read with lots of spanking, sex and submission, pick up a copy of my latest short read Delicious Discipline, the second in the sexy Miss Haver’s School for Badly Behaved Wives series on AMAZON free for Kindle Unlimited subscribers.