Kat_Why

Everyday now I’m finding it harder and harder to get myself out of bed and into the day. 

I’ve got no reason to wake up anymore. It’s killing me but I just can’t force myself. 

I hardly even smile anymore or talk to be honest. 

Everyday now I’m finding it harder and harder to get myself out of bed and into the day. 

I’ve got no reason to wake up anymore. It’s killing me but I just can’t force myself. 

I hardly even smile anymore or talk to be honest. 

I’m not entirely sure how to start this, it’s something that hasn’t ever left my thoughts before because I’m afraid of either the reason this happens or people’s reactions to me saying this happens. 

It’s so hard to describe, it’s not a frequent thing but sometimes it’s more frequent than others. Before I explain it, I want to make sure you understand that this isn’t an effect of anything else. This literally happens out of the blue when I least want it really. 

Sounds stupid now I sit and think about it. 

I can be walking down the street all of a sudden this flash back sort of thing happens. But it’s not any flashback, it’s stuff that I haven’t experienced, like one example that is reoccurring is Laura Croft, I completely get how this sounds, it’s weird I know. This is why I’m asking for help. They feel so real, like I could be living them in that moment, but it flips my mood when it happens, I go into major worry mode and it ruins my day. 

It’s been happening for about a year now and this is the first I’ve spoke about it. It scares me a lot. I basically freeze when it happens and then it’s as if it mind washes me for the rest of the day. 

I sound like an idiot I know, please no nasty comments. I just wanted to let it out. 

It’s killing my head. My heads messed up enough as it is. 
✌🏼️

Just my bedtime thoughts really. 

Thinking about this time last year, to think I was homeless and now I’ve had my own flat and now I’m in my own house. Words don’t describe the year I’ve had and yet I still get questioned about why I could ever get down? 

I couldn’t care less for the materialistic things in life, I’d rather be in that tent last year and have someone understand how I feel for once than in a house surrounded by love and yet feeling so lonely. 
Just funny thoughts before bed.