Pretending I Don’t Care

I wanna write about real things –
Health, education, parliamentary bills.
But where’s my right?
I don’t know shite.
No experience
Just like a kid
But I’m here
Going through it
And living each day
Muddling through
Ignoring the way
We let it all happen
Without much of a fight
We’re not farmers from France
More like a dad in tights
Chaining himself
To some railings or tree
‘Let me see my kid’
Look at me.
I’m not knocking their cause
But is that all we’ve got?
Bedroom tax
Libraries
Hospitals too
They’re taking it all
And then some more.
When the time comes
And I stand in that booth
Marking my cross
In that simple box
Doing my bit
Like I’m entitled to
I walk away crippled
Hands in pockets
Whatever the result
I’m hardly part of it.
One little vote
That’s all I do
Hoping my kids
Will have a job one day.
I can’t promise them that
Nobody can
And that’s what’s real
And that’s why I write
A handful of words
About our simple plight
Of loving my family
And doing what’s right.
Damned if we don’t.
Damned if we try.

P.S. – I know I could do more than just cast my vote. I could campaign or protest. Fight for things in my local area, BUT… and there it is. BUT… who am I to think I can make a difference?? Am I Reg Keys or Muhammad Ali. Neither. I’m just some guy called Steve. I feel aggrieved that things are so wrong and I’ll tell my children to question things when they’re old enough to understand. For now, I fight my own personal battles, as many people do.
It would be a remarkable sight if we could harness all that and throw it at the big stuff. BUT, for now…

Lost (still)

You won’t find me
In your arms
You won’t find me
In your bed
You won’t find
My lips on yours
You won’t find
My hands all over you
Or digging into your flesh
And pulling you close.
You won’t find me at all…
…I’m lost in you
Completely.

It’s Over

Even now
A year on
I can’t believe you did it.
I thought you knew me
And I knew you
Is this what love can do?
It must be.
But wait…
Was it just me?
Did I love you
And you not love me?
Don’t say it
Not after this
I thought I’d just wronged you
Like a fight between kids.
But maybe not so
Did you just not love me anymore?
I can’t take it
Don’t tell me
Perhaps that’s the way
Ignore me
Just hate me
In your own quiet way
When I think of that day
Over 12 months ago
I was so hopeful
And just 34
We could be together
If we wanted to be
You make art
And I’ll write poetry
But on that fateful day
You shot it to death
You killed it
It’s over
My life is a mess.
Every day since
I’ve been a wreck
Hearing your name
I break out in sweat
And I’m crippled
With loss
With the love I once had
How could you do it?
Why buy me Crocs?

The Way Things Had Been

The Way Things Had Been

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
You turned up
As you said you would
Right on time,
To meet me from the bus.
I could just make you out
Through the pouring rain
Your smile –
Just dashing through the marbling windscreen.
Things between us had been sore
And in a way
I’d hoped you’d get out of the car
And we’d kiss in the rain
Maybe just smile
No words needed
Just the touch of your hand on mine.
I knew that wouldn’t happen in reality
And when I opened the door
I’m glad it didn’t
Nobody could want to ruin
How you looked that night
Your burnt orange sweater and corduroy skirt
God, you looked great
So good it hurt.
We sat there, not speaking
For what felt like an hour
In truth it was seconds
Before our lips met
We were back
Just us
Being together.

Book-Lover

Book-Lover

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

Don’t just lie there
Surrounded by your books
Sit up and stare at me
Give me dirty looks

You tell me that you love –
Getting lost in all that fiction
I haven’t seen you smile yet
It’s such a contradiction

There’s more spines in here
Than go down for cremation
This isn’t the only way
To have some recreation

I’ll take off my jacket
And you can judge my style
If you take off theirs
It’s still the same inside

You can’t live like this
Lost in all those pages
Make some room for me
I haven’t slept with you in ages

Come on, grab me with both hands
Don’t handle me with care
Use me and abuse me
In your bed or anywhere

Let me be the only thing
You could never lend
Your classic, modern romance
That will never end.

I Don’t Think…

I Don't Think...

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t think I write anymore
At least not by hand.
I might think the words
And scribble them in my brain
But there,
They remain.
Locked
Gathering dust
More and more memories
And thoughts piling on top.
They get lost
Like loose change in a fountain
All the hopes and dreams –
Most of them are just the same
When you put them all together.
I can still catch a glimpse of them
Or claw at those closest to the surface
But most are lost
Just waiting for the chance
To come around again

You Are Here

You Are Here

Will you be my Yoko?
And let me be your John?
Let’s go to New York
And come back when we want.
Maybe we’ll make art together –
Or films?
Even songs?
I don’t care
Not one bit
You’re all that I could want.
Imagine me
Imagine you
Starting over, just us two.
Central Park
Fifth avenue
A slice of pizza,
Maybe two?
A lost weekend
Here or there
Losing you?
I wouldn’t dare.
Grow old with me
And count the ways
I love you
I love you
We’re just the same.

Inexplicable

During the night
Whilst you sleep
I look at you –
Different shadows falling over your face
Falling over your body
And I’m filled
With a thousand feelings
Half of which I can’t describe.
Not because they insult or sexualise
But because I can’t.
I’m not sure what they are,
What they mean.
The only explanation I can give
Is one of reassurance.
Those inexplicable feelings
Are only for you
And I know this because I don’t feel them
When I look at anyone else
Not one.
I search for reasoning
As I lay there
And when I sleep
And still,
None.
I forever draw the same conclusion –
Love.
I love you,
My inexplicable one.