OUR INDIVIDUALITY, OUR TOGETHERNESS-THE DELICATE BALANCE. (Part B)

StickyUncategorized

…Consequently, we need to take time to develop interest and skills in handling “what I want”, “what you want “and “what we want”. Here are the common deal breakers:
Negotiation: This doesn’t mean settling for less than what we really want. It means understanding our individual needs and finding a place of synergy. It’s implies using a more effective approach to create a win/win situation. Its means tying our individual desires to time and value. Losing time in what we want doesn’t mean we have lost the value of that thing. Its just about finding whose want/needs should be a priority considering time and all that.
It’s not bad in developing interest in what your spouse likes instead of playing the antagonist especially if value, integrity and fun are not compromised. Being a fan of the same club isn’t a bad idea although you had a different opinion before you started this relationship or watching football in the pub where you find calibers of people to argue, scream, and stretch opinions and stuffs could be much fun rather than being glued to your HDTV at home alone. Don’t take away fun out of your daily routine, else life will move from functional to dysfunctional.

Compassion: This is the direct opposite of competition for me.
Relationship competition can wreck havoc between couples. It creates self centeredness. It emphasizes our goals and enhances our skills often to the detriment our significant relationship. I once had a friend who saw me like a business opportunity. Every time we meet was an opportunity to sell something or get something from me. I avoided him like a plague, until one day I had to confront him on the issue. He regretted and opted for a change. Good for him.
Compassion is the skill or ability to accurately experience the thoughts and feelings of another plus the desire to do whatever is necessary to help in times of distress. Another word for compassion is empathy. Be deeply and truthfully concerned about people needs as you help solve them.

Communication: I consider this a very important if not the most important ingredient of relationship. Communication always by ways of complaints definitely leads us cul de sac, weakening our relationship. While complaints may be true, are they kind and necessary? Applying healthy means of solving a need energizes a relationship. Always make it a priority to keep the communication lines open. Do it calmly, express your grievances gently and constructively. You don’t need to colour riot your displeasure to score a point. Communication helps you evaluate where your self worth emanates. Some use Career to boost their self worth, some their family. Assess where your relationship really focuses on at the moment; list your personal accomplishments as your try to give it a prime place. Strike a balance between family and career. Your family needs you to enjoy the proceeds of your career and vice versa

Recommitment: Recommit yourself to your marriage and relationship every single day. Share your day to day experience, this brings people together and make them bond easily. No emotional state remains the same. Listening is a virtue we must cultivate, it’s a learnable skills. Listening to hear what your spouse is not saying because people change overtime and to keep up with these changes you must have updates on the activities that shape one another. People work on the cars, houses and clothes on a regular basis and just as things needs regular constant attention to thrive.

Do your own thing: take responsibility and stop trying to fix your partner. People are who they are, they are not piece of clothes you can hem or a furniture your can fix. The more you spend time trying to change your spouse, the less time you have in improving yourself. When you spend quality time in changing yourself, the dynamics of your relationship changes automatically. Remember people subconsciously begin to mirror the people they spend the most time with. And it happens for good as well as for bad. Figure out what strengthen your relationship and begin to play to them. Verbalize your relationship object, appreciate, return the favour, say I’m sorry, say I love you, say thank you, commends all good intention and return the favour. Love languages must be expressed as you play to your strength. Quality time, affirmative gift, sense of touch and These are the simple things in life we forget.

Double up: make out time to invest in a romantic part of your relationship. Make a date night a regular event. Build also spiritual root. There is a lot spirituality can handle that the above mentioned will never be solved. Spirituality mops up emotional weakness, secures the future occurrences that would have destroyed a healthy relationship. Ever wondered why wonderful and robust relationship bursts. I’d tell you it’s more of a spiritual influence than physical incompatibilities or other considerations. Spiritual depths control the thing we cant or don’t have power over. Spirituality gives us depth and protection over evil that counters people effort for growth and development. Go deeeeeep!!!

Build reflexes to handle situation. Responses in your subconscious can only be handled when we create a balance between your conscious mind and everyday routine. This lifestyle will make you a better person you were yesterday. What ever is done well is well done.

OUR INDIVIDUALITY, OUR TOGETHERNESS-THE DELICATE BALANCE. (Part B)

StickyUncategorized

OUR INDIVIDUALITY, OUR TOGETHERNESS-THE DELICATE BALANCE. (Part B)
…Consequently, we need to take time to develop interest and skills in handling “what I want”, “what you want “and “what we want”. Here are the common deal breakers:
Negotiation: This doesn’t mean settling for less than what we really want. It means understanding our individual needs and finding a place of synergy. It’s implies using a more effective approach to create a win/win situation. Its means tying our individual desires to time and value. Losing time in what we want doesn’t mean we have lost the value of that thing. Its just about finding whose want/needs should be a priority considering time and all that.
It’s not bad in developing interest in what your spouse likes instead of playing the antagonist especially if value, integrity and fun are not compromised. Being a fan of the same club isn’t a bad idea although you had a different opinion before you started this relationship or watching football in the pub where you find calibers of people to argue, scream, and stretch opinions and stuffs could be much fun rather than being glued to your HDTV at home alone. Don’t take away fun out of your daily routine, else life will move from functional to dysfunctional.

Compassion: This is the direct opposite of competition for me.
Relationship competition can wreck havoc between couples. It creates self centeredness. It emphasizes our goals and enhances our skills often to the detriment our significant relationship. I once had a friend who saw me like a business opportunity. Every time we meet was an opportunity to sell something or get something from me. I avoided him like a plague, until one day I had to confront him on the issue. He regretted and opted for a change. Good for him.
Compassion is the skill or ability to accurately experience the thoughts and feelings of another plus the desire to do whatever is necessary to help in times of distress. Another word for compassion is empathy. Be deeply and truthfully concerned about people needs as you help solve them.

Communication: I consider this a very important if not the most important ingredient of relationship. Communication always by ways of complaints definitely leads us cul de sac, weakening our relationship. While complaints may be true, are they kind and necessary? Applying healthy means of solving a need energizes a relationship. Always make it a priority to keep the communication lines open. Do it calmly, express your grievances gently and constructively. You don’t need to colour riot your displeasure to score a point. Communication helps you evaluate where your self worth emanates. Some use Career to boost their self worth, some their family. Assess where your relationship really focuses on at the moment; list your personal accomplishments as your try to give it a prime place. Strike a balance between family and career. Your family needs you to enjoy the proceeds of your career and vice versa

Recommitment: Recommit yourself to your marriage and relationship every single day. Share your day to day experience, this brings people together and make them bond easily. No emotional state remains the same. Listening is a virtue we must cultivate, it’s a learnable skills. Listening to hear what your spouse is not saying because people change overtime and to keep up with these changes you must have updates on the activities that shape one another. People work on the cars, houses and clothes on a regular basis and just as things needs regular constant attention to thrive.

Do your own thing: take responsibility and stop trying to fix your partner. People are who they are, they are not piece of clothes you can hem or a furniture your can fix. The more you spend time trying to change your spouse, the less time you have in improving yourself. When you spend quality time in changing yourself, the dynamics of your relationship changes automatically. Remember people subconsciously begin to mirror the people they spend the most time with. And it happens for good as well as for bad. Figure out what strengthen your relationship and begin to play to them. Verbalize your relationship object, appreciate, return the favour, say I’m sorry, say I love you, say thank you, commends all good intention and return the favour. Love languages must be expressed as you play to your strength. Quality time, affirmative gift, sense of touch and These are the simple things in life we forget.

Double up: make out time to invest in a romantic part of your relationship. Make a date night a regular event. Build also spiritual root. There is a lot spirituality can handle that the above mentioned will never be solved. Spirituality mops up emotional weakness, secures the future occurrences that would have destroyed a healthy relationship. Ever wondered why wonderful and robust relationship bursts. I’d tell you it’s more of a spiritual influence than physical incompatibilities or other considerations. Spiritual depths control the thing we cant or don’t have power over. Spirituality gives us depth and protection over evil that counters people effort for growth and development. Go deeeeeep!!!

Build reflexes to handle situation. Responses in your subconscious can only be handled we create a balance between your conscious mind and everyday routine. This lifestyle will make you better person you were yesterday. What ever is done well is well done.

Stories are waiting…Persevere!!!

Uncategorized

Like water, which can clearly mirror the sky and the trees only so long as its surface is undisturbed, the mind can only reflect the true image of the Self when it is tranquil and wholly relaxed.

    When the veil of darkness has draped itself around your life and concealed the tears of your pain and despair, when the destiny you had envisaged has all but faded like water amongst the golden sands of the desert, when you stand alone in your hour of adversity and need and no-one is willing to stand beside you, when the battles within your life are on the verge of defeat and ruin, when you are in exile within your own mind, when your heart is empty and is merely watered by the tears of your agonized and anguished soul.

    When you feel like a bird caged behind bars which once flew high above snow capped mountains free and unhindered and now reach out to touch the essence of your dreams, when tears and sorrow have embraced your soul, when the temples of your dreams lie in ashes like the ruins of an ancient age gone by and there are no traces of your footsteps within the valley of your dreams.

    When the haunting silence of the darkness hangs like a shadow within the depths of your heart. When you cling like a child to the dreams of yesterday, when the light of dawn refuses to appear and the sun refuses to shine, when each day has become an eternal struggle to survive.

    When there is no light amongst the darkness within your existence, when your wounds cry out to be healed, when fear has held courage ransom, when your soul stands in solitude and loneliness choking on its tears of isolation under a moon which no longer smiles and no longer yearns to gaze at his children; the stars, when all those around you have betrayed you, when love has left your heart and refuses to return.

    When you no longer believe in yourself, when pain and grief are your constant companions, when there is no vision within the mists of your agony, when no one is willing to listen to and understand you, when peace seems to be in a distant world, when life no longer has the belief to run within your veins, when you have become a fugitive within your own mind and shackled like a slave within your own insanity, refuse with every last drop of sacred blood within your bruised and battered body, to surrender your soul to the pains of your existence.

    You must believe in yourself-even if all those around you doubt you and in your ability to rise from within the insanity in which your life now finds itself and to stand tall against the obstacles and challenges within your life-and you will conquer all that you believe cannot be conquered and all that which you believed you had lost within your life.

    It is from the darkest hours of our lives, from the depths of our despair and pain and in our greatest hour of adversity that we find an inner strength, an inner courage and an inner meaning so vast that it enables us to rise from our knees and stand tall and fight that which has made us weak.

    Just as water runs from a stream, as the oak tree grows strong and upright, as snow-the softest and most peaceful of natures elements-covers the most fierce of mountains and tames its anger portraying it merely as a pawn within the hands of nature so new life and meaning will emerge from your own inner source.

    Do not at any cost surrender your life to the weaknesses within your life. Do not surrender your life to the mediocre thoughts of others; do not surrender the belief you hold in yourself and in your abilities, do not surrender the dreams that you have worked so hard to hold within the palms of your hands. For what right do others have to judge another’s dreams for they have not walked a mile in your shoes! There are no limits to your courage and determination. The only limitations are those that we place upon ourselves. Our thoughts make the world what we want it to be. Mold your thought into a weapon of immense power.

    Wipe away the tears from your heart and let your life be brushed by the fingertips of your immortal soul, breathe deep, with purpose and a deep held conviction. There is an inner strength and an inner peace within us all, which the world cannot penetrate and the hypocrisy and ignorance of the human mind cannot poison. Embrace that inner source of strength and you will become fearless and the obstacles within your life will seem insignificant.

    You must be undisturbed and stern in your resolve that you are a creature so versatile and resilient that you cannot be defeated and you must hold firm in the conviction that you will not be defeated. You are a creature of boundless beauty and perseverance. You are a creature which can and which will endure. There is nothing that you cannot achieve and there is nothing that you do not have the ability to overcome within your life. Harness the power of your mind for it is your greatest barrier.

    You are an individual of immense courage within the battlefield of life and there is no greater battle than that which will be fought with your own life. You must not, despite the pain, the despair, the grief, the intensity, the loneliness within your life, surrender the very essence of your dignity and hope to the enemy which hovers around you in pursuit of conquering both your mind and your soul.

    I do not believe in defeat because defeat does not believe in me. I do not believe in fear for I am fearless. I do not believe in pain for I find strength in the weaknesses of my enemies. Within the mist of your despair and the obstacles and challenges that life presents before you be calm and peaceful. An angry and misguided mind will make decisions and judgment based on haste and anger which in the long run will continue to merely add to your suffering whereas the peaceful mind within that moment of insanity will have the ability to bring forth a clear, reasoned judgment and solution to the challenges at hand.

    No one owns you so you have not lost anything. Only you can give away or surrender all that you hold to the challenges within your life. Control your mind from its aimless wandering within your own insanity-guide it to think positively and with purpose. Once you have conquered your mind you will also introduce yourself to an inner peace, which will bring meaning and a freedom to both your life and thought.

    Do not kneel before anyone for your knees were not made for such purposes, they were made for the purpose of enabling you to stand upright! Be like an elephant, which once upright will not easily be brought to its knees! Adapt your mind, thinking, actions and life to the challenges, which have surrounded your existence.

    You and you alone hold the foundations of your dreams and your destiny in the way you approach the challenges and obstacles within your life. Do not falter in the face of adversity; rise to the challenge however difficult it may be. Your difficulties will only be difficult if you believe them to be difficult. How can you fear that which you have never challenged?

    Endure and challenge the pains of your existence for freedom will wait for you and it will eventually embrace you. In defeating the challenges within your life continue to be a good person, do not become like your enemies for to do so will deprive your soul of the peace it desires.

    You must be like the seasons of the year ever changing, ever adapting, ever growing, and ever challenging. Nature is always in constant change, the old give way to the new, and this is the course of life. Yet within this existence life continues, it evolves and continues to grow despite its pains.

    Your time has not yet come to let nature embrace you in its totality, so go forth into the wilderness of your life and reclaim what mother nature granted you at birth; the right to dream, the right to live and the right to be who you want to be. Challenge with the might of your mind and your inner strength all the barriers that your existence places at the gates of your destiny. If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more!

  For within the midst of our suffering there is a meaning!

Faith/Fear the two ”F” words that are not vulgar

Uncategorized

ImageImage

Faith and Fear the two ‘’F’’ words that aren’t vulgar…I began rummaging my faculty in the challenge that’s sticking up on me. I dare to understand how hydra headed life is and how we most often got to make choices that live with us. It’s come a lot easier to advice than the step up in the moments or experiences that defines us a victor or vanquish.  When utmost caution is not observed we end up in a tragicomedy saga of shoulda woulda coulda.

Faith is often watered down to a religious term whereas it pulls much more weight than its polarization. Many definitions have been given to this unarguably  very powerful phrase. In contrast the phrase FEAR replaces FAITH when we want to be modest in our sympathetic expressions or care about someone or something.

If you need energy to pull through life’s vicissitude then faith should be a working tool. If you need to stay waiting for situation to change then the lens called fear will pursue you away from the place of abundance thinking it a slum where you can hardly find some good. Interestingly, the slum is a dump site of recyclable treasures, but our lenses say the redolent smell that oozes out is unbearable so we can’t stay there.

You already have everything you need, that’s the assurance I give myself on a daily basis. You contain all you ever wanted; you have already been given everything you could ever hope to have. It’s just that it may not be visible, even the seemingly visible ones need a better Google senses or lens to embolden it for usage. What enlarges our visibility of reality is either faith or fear. Faith is the belief that something unseen will come to pass, while fear is the belief that something unseen will also come to pass. You may want to ask, what the difference between Faith and Fear is. Faith is trust or confidence in a thing thing;  Faith is believe in anything as a code of standard or merit. Faith is a strong or unshakable belief in something, especially without proof or evidence. Faith adds value, fear reduces value. Faith creates energy, fear dissipates energy, faith is outsourced from the unlimited power of the omnipotent, and fear is generated from the well of  despondence and complexes. Fear is borne of ignorance resulting in despair.  A wise man even defined FEAR as’’ Fail Early And Responsibly’’ Different names, yet same, very powerful, either will bring outcomes.

Show me a law that is unbreakable then I will show you how to break it. Many discoveries and invention where on the crucible of this powerful word Faith I choose therefore this day to generate the frequency that has a resonance with the unlimited power of I can, I am, I do and everything that was a mirage or saturnine is now becoming my reality. Faith is an expression of what you know by what you do. Faith all the way…..!!!

 

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

Strength & Courage Quotes

Uncategorized

 

Strength-&-Courage-Quotes-Feature

 

Here is a collection of 24 character & Courage Quotes, for a little inspiration to get you through those hard times.
 
”Its nice to be important but its more important to be nice,so u won’t miss what you’ll get and won’t get what you’ll miss”
Emmanuel Sam

“Sometimes you don’t realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness.” – Susan Gale

 

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.” – Tony Robbins

 

“Man can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air, but only for one second without hope” – Hal Lindsey

 

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” – Dale Carnegie

 

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

 

“The brave may not live forever, but the cautious dont live at all.” – Ashley L

 

“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” – Unknown

 

“Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion.” – Michael Jordan

 

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” – James Dean

 

“True strength is keeping everything together when everyone expects you to fall apart.” – Unknown

 

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” – Chinese Proverb

 

“You were given this life, because you are strong enough to live it.” – Robin Sharma

 

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

 

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” – Albert Camus

 

“Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that’s what makes you strong.” – Sarah Dessen

 

“Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying, “Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got things to do.” – Unknown

 

“Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can’t ride you unless your back is bent.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” – Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP

 

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.” – Bruce Lee

 

“In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths.” ― Drew Barrymore 

 

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

”Providing a solid sense of identity in trying times gives your influences a panoptic picture of what resilience is”

-Emmanuel Sam

Lessons from My Father: Being a Positive Role Model

Uncategorized, , , , ,

 

Image

I’m induced by today’s event- Father’s day to think deep on how my Father has modeled positive behaviors that has helped me be a full time man. He may not have provided all I ever wanted, but at least the basic things were not sparingly available during my growing years.

As a professional who endeavors to be a positive role model to both the male and female youths whom I represent. I will also be considering how best to pass on what I have learned over the years of being under his direct influence and tutelage. His influence has been a positive spin on how my life has turned out.

These were the things thinking, time and space with my father brought to the table of experience.

I.                    Becoming a male is genetic, being a man -Decision and a father –Responsibility, massive responsibility of transferring your values to the next generation. In keeping real legacies you must define what you want. Everything in life starts with a definition. Your ability to create boundaries and extensions helps you checks excesses; reduce cost, time and resources. It also prevents you from being unnecessarily misunderstood.

II.                  Be very optimistic- A life of positive mental attitude will always pay off any day. This relishes desirable energies in the face of difficulties.

III.                Respect women- Men and women are called “partners” for several good reasons and this plays a complimentary role in creating a unique balance in life.

IV.               Honor your commitments and be responsible- Others are depending on you. That’s the true essence of manhood/fatherhood. Be faithful to your spouse. Lack of faithfulness reveals broken focus and the consequences are always more.

V.                 Learn the skill of quietness and appropriate response. Sometimes you need to address issues else issues will address you as a weakling, stripping you of your rights and privileges.

VI.               Don’t be afraid to be different. With indifference you can’t make any difference.  Popular opinion may not always be right. Always stand on your personal convictions that come from deep thinking and considerations.

VII.             Live by the “golden rule” we need each other. No actions will ever go unpunished, either by law enforcement agent or by karma-spiritual enforcement agent.

VIII.           Always maintain a close knit relationship with God. That’s the only true source of power and inspiration.

IX.                 Giving people a second chance may not be a bad idea sometimes. The largest room is that of improvement, and the smallest room should be a second chance. After all nature will always give us a chance to start again.

These lessons can be modeled by all sexes, reinforcing the characteristic behavior that can only make one valuable. Success lies in cultivating these little habits, attitudes, actions and behavior every day.

Lastly, let your actions be so loud that when you speak, it ratify and not rectify.

Happy father’s day!!!

Lessons from My Father: Being a Positive Role Model

Uncategorized, , , , ,

Image

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
X-NONE
X-NONE

MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:”Table Normal”;
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:””;
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”;}

I’m induced by today’s event- Father’s day to think deep on how my Father has modeled positive behaviors that has helped me be a full time man. He may not have provided all I ever wanted, but at least the basic things were not sparingly available during my growing years.

As a professional who endeavors to be a positive role model to both the male and female youths whom I represent. I will also be considering how best to pass on what I have learned over the years of being under his direct influence and tutelage. His influence has been a positive spin on how my life has turned out.

These were the things thinking, time and space with my father brought to the table of experience.

I.                    Becoming a male is genetic, being a man -Decision and a father –Responsibility, massive responsibility of transferring your values to the next generation. In keeping real legacies you must define what you want. Everything in life starts with a definition. Your ability to create boundaries and extensions helps you checks excesses; reduce cost, time and resources. It also prevents you from being unnecessarily misunderstood.

II.                  Be very optimistic- A life of positive mental attitude will always pay off any day. This relishes desirable energies in the face of difficulties.

III.                Respect women- Men and women are called “partners” for several good reasons and this plays a complimentary role in creating a unique balance in life.

IV.               Honor your commitments and be responsible- Others are depending on you. That’s the true essence of manhood/fatherhood. Be faithful to your spouse. Lack of faithfulness reveals broken focus and the consequences are always more.

V.                 Learn the skill of quietness and appropriate response. Sometimes you need to address issues else issues will address you as a weakling, stripping you of your rights and privileges.

VI.               Don’t be afraid to be different. With indifference you can’t make any difference.  Popular opinion may not always be right. Always stand on your personal convictions that come from deep thinking and considerations.

VII.             Live by the “golden rule” we need each other. No actions will ever go unpunished, either by law enforcement agent or by karma-spiritual enforcement agent.

VIII.           Always maintain a close knit relationship with God. That’s the only true source of power and inspiration.

IX.                 Giving people a second chance may not be a bad idea sometimes. The largest room is that of improvement, and the smallest room should be a second chance. After all nature will always give us a chance to start again.

These lessons can be modeled by all sexes, reinforcing the characteristic behavior that can only make one valuable. Success lies in cultivating these little habits, attitudes, actions and behavior every day.

Lastly, let your actions be so loud that when you speak, it ratify and not rectify.

Happy father’s day!!!

 

DEAL WITH IT! (How to handle failure)

Uncategorized

Image

A renown poet Archibald MaCleish said “There is only one thing that is more painful than learning from experience, and that is not learning from experience” powerful thoughts I must confess.

The experiences of life are often punctuated by setbacks, failed promises, pent up desires and dashed hopes. These, most often that not leaves us in a state of quandary, despondence and dead ends as we whine on what should have been, would have been and could have been…

The innate drive within us projects the ability to perform any task no matter how difficult. We can do almost anything we imagine or want to. But many times, success doesn’t come with a modicum of efforts, just like real beauty which is only but a skin deep.

From my years of interaction with people, questions like “why is it easier to fail than succeed” that’s a big question that will require a dedication of a full article.

Here are a few reasons people fail more easily than succeed.

      Failure doesn’t require much input. Just sit back, do nothing and failure will develop a very good rapport with you.

      We fail because we refuse to read the sign that our instinct gives us.

      We fail because it’s not easy to break a pattern or change a sequence of attitude of something we are so used to.

       We fail because of excuses.

It’s an endless list. It require discipline to subject your emotion to listen to something else especially when you mind is telling you, go, go, gidit!,gidit!!

We fail because we always advance excuses to explain failure. Nothing relishes failure like excuses. Excuses are the implement we use to build an edifice called failure. Show me a man with records of failure and I will tell you a man with a record breaking excuses.

There was a man who was asked to re-sit for examination he failed; the result wasn’t different from the previous. When his lecturer asked what happened, the excuse he advanced was that the hall was too empty as such he could not concentrate, that’s why he failed. He was now taken to his lecturers’ office; still he failed and gave reasons that the coldness of the room fizzled out what he had read. There was nothing this man didn’t give as an alibi. Now the problem wasn’t that he wasn’t intelligent but that he was ready to give excuse than to pass.

This article’s objective is simply to buttress the ways and means- proactive measures of dealing with issues before they evolve as what we term failure.

Let’s ride!!

      Other people’s mistakes (OPM) Benefits of hindsight

Nothing under the sun is new, whatever you think you want to do or achieve, someone else has. Find out, search deeply and you will find similar endeavour, make a SWOT (Strength Weakness Opportunities Threats) analysis.

Agreed there are default errors to every idea or concept, but lasting success is having the ability to minimize errors to an extent that it doesn’t stand in your way to stardom.

Inability to trace where, when and what went wrong, simply means creating ample chance of repeating the same error, mistake and pattern.

 

      Learn not how to do it, not only how to do it

The famous Thomas Edison who developed the first practical electrical light said he learned other ways of how not to do it right, when he was asked why he had to try almost up to a thousand times in his single invention before the final breakthrough.

In practice we might not have the liberty to spending most of our time trying how not to, but a simple mental analysis or scribbling down of a few line of thought would do.

Your ability to ascertain ways and means of failure makes success come easy. Remember faith make things possible but not easy. What then makes things easy?-Action plan! Check this aphorism- proper preparation prevents poor performance-5P. We live in a fast paced, quickie 21st century, little wonder this age is plagued with terminal disease, charlatan and impostors. Values of hard work should be delegated; else our lives will be relegated. People, who spend time in preparation, will spend less time of their product in the show room. , marketability is revealed in your workability

 

      We are not made in the days of reckoning but revealed in such days

Mistakes also reveal peoples weakness. We might not know how deep and unbecoming our foibles are until we make them in the eyes of a man with Google sense. When the inevitable happens, muscle up some virtue to own up. It takes strength of character to accept your weakness; it takes a higher sense of responsibility to deal with it. “To err is human…” to make corrections is more human. Even if you are a perfectionist, mistakes have a way of trailing you. Deal with it!

 There is what I call unforced errors and forced errors. What preparation does is to prevent the forced errors, while the unforced errors have a lot to do with preferential differences. Issues may emanate that create misunderstanding between two persons or more, surprisingly, they could be right in their point of views. This is more of psychological than anything else; that is how they are wired. When such happens, one of the ways of dealing with this is to meet a compromise. This is where the power of synergy comes handy in creating a greater managerial skill. Compromise means reviewing the view or prospects of the other person, spot element of similarity and reassess dissimilar ones, you will always get to where intentions marry to produce a super idea/stratagem that interprets hard sentences and dissolves doubts.

 

      Don’t build a monument on your failure

Once you think consistently that you are a failure then you are. Always place your mind at your vantage position, let it always be on your side. For whatever a man thinks in his heart so is he?show me your result and I will tell you your thought composition. Failure is an event that comes and goes. Don’t let it settle in your mind, its residue will never be saleable. When failure settles it builds a personality called despondence and depression. When it goes, it fizzles out of the memory.

Always build up defense mechanism to fight failure in your mind whenever it comes. Affirmative actions, words of encouragement, motivational expression, mirror your self and speak boldness to your psyche. This works I bet you.

 

      Be  a student of life

Your continual course on self improvement is essential for personal development in life. A healthy child does not stop progressing after learning to crawl. He or she goes into walking and ultimately learn to run within his/her capacity. Read books, magazines, journals, and blogs and research articles pertinent to your area of interest.

Leave your comfort zone. A wise man once said “life is a book those who don’t travel end up reading just a page” The opportunities travelling opens you up to are simply amazing. Your mind will be broadened and your perspective stretched to accommodate things that will nourish your mind, body and soul. You will learn about different customs, cultures, and traditions and hence become a citizen of the world.

 

Last notes

Valuable success is creating character that can sustain your competence. Character is the carrier of the weight of success- the foundation of success. competence is the branding factor that sells you to your world. The atmosphere you create determines the size of your reward. Atmosphere of excellence produces success; the atmosphere of excuses produces failure, the flip side of success.

Now you know, there is no room for excuses. See you at the top!