lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

its killing me that im making you feel bad.. that im making you feel the way that you feel..

these days, i wish that i was created with an iron heart instead, to not feel, to not care..

but i do care.. i even bleed thinking how i make you feel.

yes i love you. i know that much. but what about love? what about it? i have been there once and look where it got me? right exactly at this place where i dont trust people, where im always scared.

so what do i do now?

i hate how you have so much power over me..

when i have resolved to not be the defeated, you manage to turn things around that in the end will cause me to give in, thus giving me the feeling of defeat..

i want this to stop.. but im not sure if i want this to go away completely..

i feel like im cheating..

i promised to love you. period but now im having second thoughts about being with you.

ive always blamed lover number one for not fulfilling his promise.. now im not fulfilling mine.. im walking away.. not because i dont love you but because i dont know why i do. why you do..

im sorry.  i really am..