Cheating: case of cause and effect?

Posted on by McApple

The subject of cheating is always a difficult one.

It is important to stress that there are people who do not believe in the principle of cause and effect when it comes to cheating; as to them, absolutely nothing can cause cheating. Cheating is a topic never to be broached with them and should just not happen for any reason at all under the surface of this earth.

You would sometimes discover that such people mostly do not care to give a thought to how certain actions or situations (even on their part) can actually predispose a partner to cheating so tend to live care-free lives.

Cheating is condemnable but choosing not to accept that sometimes our own actions and inactions creates situations that creates room for cheating is equally not acceptable.

I wouldn’t be an advocate for cheating but I wouldn’t also deny the fact that things don’t just happen, and there’s always a cause to every reaction. So, for every act of cheating, my interest will always be to find out what could have been the cause and not just blaming it all on the ‘selfish or monsterous decision’ to cheat.

In our world, every crime, accident, disaster, etc., is investigated to understand the contributory factors. I will not advocate for anybody found guilty of commiting the crime of cheating to not receive due punishment (in whatever form it comes) but my sense of reasoning will still push me to ask ‘why?’ at the end of the day.

In any case, everybody deserves to know why their partner ‘chose’ to cheat on them. Don’t they need that closure? Or it’s just enough to blame the cheater and move on with the belief that there’s never any justification whatsoever for cheating?

Yes, you don’t say you love someone and still cheat on them…whether once or not. But, even after all our proclamation of love for God / Christ and being sold out to Him, he still gives us room and ears to explain ourselves when we constantly ‘cheat’, sorry, ‘sin’ on him? Or that’s different? ☺️

I am honestly tempted to sometimes believe that the usual rhetoric “if they truly love you, they won’t cheat on you”, though very true, is also just something people say to avoid addressing the real problems in their relationship and acknowledging the possibility that they could equally be responsible for the mess.

Well, whatever it is, can we all just stay faithful and true to our partners so we will never have to keep navigating or knocking heads over the sensitive topic of cheating? Good!

So now, it is my fervent hope and prayer that our partners through their actions or inactions “lead us not into temptation” and may we also “watch and pray that you will not fall into temptation”. 😉

©Mark Gadogbe, 2023

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The Wait, a Wilderness Feeling

Posted on by McApple

Sometimes I get discouraged at my journey, looking at where I have reached versus where I had wanted to be. It is not a good feeling.

For some of us, our dreams stagnated because we had to postpone many things to help others on the way. Sometimes you feel proud that God had to use you to give others hope and a shot at life. Other times, you feel downcast or low spirited seeing your present circumstance and the success of many folks you started with, and you know deep within you that you could have reached so much heights had the burdens been light.

Many times you would hope and pray that those you had to be a light to in their dark moments would stand with you in your low moments. But such a hope is also a big gamble because you have real scars, memories and histories of abandonment by even those you once shared a womb and a bed. Once bitten, twice shy, they say…so it makes sense to stop making sacrifices for people, but your nature seems to abhor “putting yourself first”. Not that you cannot make yourself the foremost and perhaps only priority, but your conscience always wins at dissuading you.

You are grateful for where God took you from to where you are now. But you are also dissatisfied with the present and dying for a change, for a new breakthrough, for quick answers to silent prayers. You feel you have long stayed in a wilderness situation and just a new wind of change will give you great joy and renewed hope.

When will that happen? When will God answer your heartfelt prayers? That is the bigger battle.  Not that you have not read many times the Biblical encouragement “do not be anxious about anything…Phil 4:6-7”, but waiting is indeed frustrating. They say it pays to wait but for now, “it pains to wait”. But hang in we must. To keep hopes alive and keep praying for a miracle and a turnaround we must.

Every once in a while we all deserve a good thing to lift our spirits up, don’t we?

©Mark Gadogbe, 2023

Setbacks

Posted on by McApple

No matter how grave a setback a winner experiences in life, he gets back up, stands tall and moves on!
He doesn’t sit down nursing a belly full of regrets!

Forget that setback; forget that person that gave up on you; forget that person who doesn’t want you anymore in their life; forget all that negative energy. You don’t need all that baggage on your way to the top!

It’s not always easy, but it’s always possible! Not before long and we might realize ‘they meant it for evil, but God turned it for good’. 💪🏽🙏🏾

©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

Gift of Love

Posted on by McApple

One of the most precious gifts God gave us is the ability to LOVE.

That one feeling gives us purpose in our lives.

Binds two hearts to each other.

Makes life colourful.

Holds families together.

And helps us stay on a Christian path.

LOVE is a beautiful thing ❤️.

Appreciate LOVE.

Be thankful for LOVE.

#ShortNotes

©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

Featured Image Source: Twitter

Spending enough time together

Posted on by McApple

Every good relationship needs spending lots of time together to GROW it. The moment, as a man, you say the magic words to your significant other, spending time with her becomes like her human right and if she does not get it, she’ll demand it big time.

But, a big question often asked is “how much time is too much time“? This question mostly arises because many guys feel their women demand too much of their time, and on the part of the ladies, it seems no matter the amount of time a man spends with them, he only seems to meet just about a quarter of what she needs.

Just recently, a guy mentioned that his girlfriend broke up with him over complains of he not making or spending enough time with her, does not call her often, etc. He felt those are frivolous demands. When asked if he thinks in his own estimation he does spend enough time with her girlfriend, he blurted out he spends even way too much.

Guess every relationship gets to experience those demand for time issues. I’m sure many people can relate.

©Mark Gadogbe (2022)

Featured Image Source: Instagram | teensgram.ng

Bitter Marriages

Posted on by McApple

Unsatisfied spouses are mostly bitter spouses. A lot of bitterness in marriage erupts from unmet needs and expectations. Find out what the need is and meet it. The key to a happy marriage is simply meeting the needs of each other.

#ShortNotes

©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

Featured Image Source: Twitter

Social Isolation

Posted on by McApple

Many times when people begin to isolate from the crowd (friends, family, social activities, etc) and keep to themselves, chances are that all is not well with them. They may be fighting battles way bigger than themselves.

Loneliness and seclusion is never a healthy sign, it’s never fun. Check on people. They may not be willing to talk about their issues, but it may mean a lot to them that someone did check up on them.

©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

Featured Image Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/CKGQj8PnQCX/?utm_medium=copy_link

No one is above failure

Posted on by McApple

I pray for you that you don’t fail and that your integrity doesn’t come into question. But, I also pray that when you fail, you admit it, pick yourself up and move on because sometimes, no man is above failure.

We’re all failures in one thing but masters in another.

May we find grace to succeed in life. 🙏

#ShortNotes

©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

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Unappreciated

Posted on by McApple

One day, those who think we don’t care enough will realize we were the ones who cared most for them after all. Just maybe it will be too late then.

Many times we break our back for people but they don’t see it because we always put them in front or ahead of us and our own needs. That is simply because of how much we love or value them, but if they were behind us or had we made their needs secondary to ours, they would have seen.

Sometimes, people make you want to regret being there for them or losing yourself to rather make their dreams come true. Later, they begin to treat you or relate with you like you had no dreams of your own. They begin to make you feel like you are a loser – and they probably are right when you begin to think about all the years, time and resources you have lost “supporting” them. People are in many ways ungrateful and forget so easily how our own dreams died to keep theirs alive.

Maybe the problem is people being wired to think it does not cost a thing to help others or some are just born deserving of help like some kind of a birthright (they call it grace). Helping people costs so much…it did cost Jesus His life! Grace did come at a cost. Duh!

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

Vacuum

Posted on by McApple

Emotional attachment is important for building healthy and committed love relationships but can also be a very costly thing.

You build your life around one person (your partner) for years and suddenly they decide to leave or move away…to pursue new dreams, goals, aspirations and better their life – and hopefully, both of your lives. A difficult choice is made that leaves little room for making changes or compromises that includes you. You understand, but then you also realize that dreams of a better future have taken first place over you. You have to relearn to build life alone and apart, while realizing distance has a way of shattering bonds – both physical and emotional.

You realize that if you fall in love with a bird, you have to let it fly…you must not take away its wings. You must not cage a bird for its happiness depends on flying. If you’re married to a fish, you must let it swim.

You also realize that, much as you may desire it, life cannot always be lived together with a significant other. There are times you will be together, there are times you will be apart. Just that if you are high on emotional attachment, no matter how brief or long the parting away is, no matter the good reasons and future rewards, and no matter how often you try to stay in touch, something leaves you, a big part of you dies within, your emotional attachment bubble bursts…you feel a vacuum left. Everything changes…until you’re back to building life together again. If nothing changes, then you’re not that emotionally attached.

#ShortNotes

©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

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