January 18, 2026 · 3:41 pm

AlzAuthors now part of the All Home Care Matters family

In case you didn’t hear the news, AlzAuthors is now officially part of the All Home Care Matters family.

I’ve been fortunate to be part of the AlzAuthors community over the years and had the opportunity to share The Memories Project blog, my personal essay collection The Reluctant Caregiver, and more recently, poetry. I look forward to this new chapter and supporting the mission of sharing the work of authors writing about the Alzheimer’s and dementia experience. In addition to showcasing books, AlzAuthors hosted a podcast and a film festival.

AlzAuthors celebrated its 10th anniversary in 2025. I’m grateful to all of the volunteers who donated their time and talent to build and grow such a wonderful organization.

You can read more about the transition on the All Home Care Matters website.

For those who have contributed to or have used AlzAuthors as a resource, the website and its helpful content will remain available. Stay tuned as new opportunities to share and connect become available.

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , , , , ,

January 11, 2026 · 4:44 pm

Gauging dementia assistance need can be a challenge for caregivers

Each dementia case is unique. There are many forms of dementia, each which affect different parts of the brain and may cause different cognitive symptoms. As a caregiver, one area that can be difficult to navigate is how much help a loved one with dementia needs. That’s in part because progression isn’t linear and there may be good and bad days that can create an emotional minefield for family members. It can be heartbreaking to see a loved one’s reaction when they realize they are losing their independence even when family caregivers have their best interest at heart. On the other end of the spectrum, family members can feel tremendous guilt if an incident happens because they weren’t monitoring their loved one enough.

Dr. Elaine Eshbaugh had a good post on this topic on her blog, When Dementia Knocks. As she points out, there’s no definitive guide or course of action to follow. The best advice is simply to pay attention, try to include your loved ones with dementia in daily activities as long as it’s having a positive impact, and don’t beat yourself up because you did too much or too little on any given day. As a caregiver, the most important moments to step in are for safety reasons. If your loved one loves to cook but it’s not safe for them to cook alone, maybe you have a night where you cook together. If your loved one can no longer safely drive, consider taking them for scenic drives or on a drive to a favorite spot.

It can be a challenge to honor a loved one’s independence while at the same time protecting them from harm. So much of dementia caregiving becomes ad-libbing your way through each day. As Dr. Eshbaugh says in her blog post: “You won’t always get it right, and that’s okay.”

AI image generated by WordPress.

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , , , , ,

January 4, 2026 · 1:48 pm

Staying curious vs making resolutions

Happy New Year! I hope you and your family had a good and relaxing holiday season.

My family wasn’t big on making new year resolutions, but my mother did cultivate habits when it came to expanding her knowledge. For years, she would open a dictionary each day and read a word and its definition. When I was younger, I thought it was a bit of a quirky but admirable habit. Now, I work in a field where I monitor how popular content is in online search and I was a bit surprised to find that a consistent top performer is “word of the day.” If Mom was still around, she wouldn’t need to lug a heavy dictionary from the shelf, she could just click an app on her phone.

While I may not be a word of the day follower, I did inherit my mother’s curiosity streak. I’m constantly searching for insights and educating myself on a wide range of topics. Some people become experts in particular niches but I tend to gravitate towards learning a little about a wide variety of topics, and then dedicating more time to a few areas for a deep dive. I can’t imagine not continuing to learn throughout my life; I can honestly say I’ve learned more by just living than I ever did in school. Not that a educational foundation isn’t important, it’s more about continuing to grow and evolve your knowledge base over time.

Do you make resolutions for the new year?

Image generated by Google Gemini.

Leave a comment

Filed under Memories

Tagged as , , , ,

December 24, 2025 · 4:16 pm

Happy Holidays

Wishing you and your family a holiday filled with love.

For those of us grieving the loss of a loved one this holiday season, may you find some sense of peace and solace in honoring your loved one’s memory in a way that is meaningful to you. For me, that is looking at photos from my childhood. I created a virtual snow globe featuring a photo of my parents at Christmas.

Remember the caregivers in your life, and if possible, offer to pick up a task so that they don’t feel overwhelmed this holiday season and can carve out a bit of self-care time. Respite care comes in many forms.

Need a last-minute gift? E-books make a great gift. Smashwords is running the 2025 End of Year Sale through Jan. 1. You can get the e-book version of my award-winning personal essay collection, The Reluctant Caregiver, for half-off.

Image generated by Google Gemini.

Leave a comment

Filed under Memories

Tagged as , , , , ,

December 20, 2025 · 1:41 pm

Marking 14 years since my father’s death

Today marks 14 years since my father’s death. The events of that day in 2011 and receiving the call that every family member dreads is so sharply engraved in my memory that it’s difficult to believe so much times has passed. Yet my own life and the world has transformed so much that it’s equally as difficult to believe all of these changes have occurred in the last 14 years. Grief processing tends to warp the time element.

For those of you experiencing grief during the holidays, thisWhat’s Your Grief? resource posted by Happy Healthy Caregiver in a recent newsletter may be helpful. It offers 64 tips on how to manage grief and honor the memories of departed loved ones during the holiday season.

Finally, I want to express gratitude for those who read this blog. The Memories Project was born in the immediate aftermath of my father’s death. I’m grateful to the caregiver blogging community for their support and sharing their own caregiving journeys. The blog led to personal essays and then my award-winning book, The Reluctant Caregiver. For those grieving this holiday season, consider a creative outlet to process those complex emotions. Most of all, give yourself the space to simply be with your emotions.

Leave a comment

Filed under Memories

Tagged as , , ,

December 14, 2025 · 9:00 am

Coming to terms with ‘exhaustlessness’ as a caregiver

The holidays can usher in a mix of loving family moments and caregiver burnout. I read an article by psychotherapist Mike Verano on Today’s Caregiver in which he named the common caregiver condition of feeling both exhausted and restless at the same time as “exhaustlessness.” It’s an accurate term for two emotions that seem on the surface an unlikely combination until you experience what Verano calls the “emotional hurricane” of caregiving.

I definitely can relate to being completely exhausted but also being overwhelmed with a restless energy due to being hypervigilant. Verano refers to the physical sensation as being “like taking a sleeping pill and an energy drink at the same time.” Exactly! Caregivers know that they have a limited window for sleep and self-care, but at the same time, they can’t shut off their brains from going through to-do lists.

Even after a caregiving situation ends, it can take quite awhile to disconnect oneself from that hyper-aware state of monitoring. It can feel that something is missing if you are not constantly looking for problems to arise and fix. Being gentle and patient with oneself during such transition periods is essential.

For those feeling “exhaustlessness” due to their current caregiver situation, the holidays can be a good time to discuss the need for more support while family members are gathered together. Talking to a mental health professional, one trained in family caregiver dynamics, can also be helpful in learning how to establish boundaries, so that you don’t always feel like you are caught up in an emotional storm.

Illustration generated by ChatGPT.

2 Comments

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , , ,

December 6, 2025 · 4:31 pm

Holiday gift ideas for caregivers

Each year I consider a wide range of useful gifts for caregivers, everything from books to high-tech gadgets. No matter how amazing a gift is, I’ll always believe that personal time away from caregiving duties is the most precious gift of all. Respite comes in many forms, and can be as simple as an afternoon off to engage in self-care. For the family caregivers on your gift list this holiday season, think about how you can give them a bit of personal time back.

The good news is that in a year in which many are struggling financially, giving someone else time need not cost money, but only sacrificing some of your time. Offer to sit with a loved one to free up time for the caregiver. Volunteer to assist with a time-consuming task, like grocery shopping or making meals. Cleaning the house or tackling household repairs are other ways to give the gift of time.

Here are some other thoughtful gift ideas for caregivers:

Joe & Bella: Dressing can become a time-consuming challenge for those with dementia. I love the line of adaptive clothing from Joe & Bella, which looks nice and includes clever additions, like magnetic closures and CareZips to save time and reduce frustration.

Happy Healthy Caregiver: Check out the digital gifts, such as a self-care journal and for something with a personal touch, create a Caregiver Jar filled with affirming and inspiring quotes.

Alzheimer’s Association Gift Guide: Thoughtful gift ideas for caregivers and people living with dementia. I like that the guide offers suggestions at different stages of the disease.

Of course, I will take a moment to recommend my book. Beginning Monday Dec. 8 through Jan. 1, Smashwords is running the 2025 End of Year Sale. You can get the e-book version of my award-winning personal essay collection, The Reluctant Caregiver, for half-off.

Happy holiday gift giving!

Image generated by Google Gemini.

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , ,

November 23, 2025 · 4:01 pm

Gen X caught in an extended ‘sandwich generation squeeze’

Every generation has its challenges, but Generation X finds itself in an extended “sandwich generation” role, raising children and taking care of aging parents who are living longer than ever, but not without their share of health issues.

In the recent Generations issue by the American Society on Aging, an article by Grace Macalino Schauf describes her overwhelming caregiver situation and how she had a breakthrough that helped her better manage her many caregiving duties. Schauf found herself caring for her 80-something parents, including her mother with vascular dementia and helping her young adult sons navigate college while also filling the childcare gaps left by her sister-in-law’s sudden death.

Schauf explained that in her Filipino culture, the eldest daughter is expected to fulfill the caregiver role in the family, yet she realized that she was being stretched beyond capacity. The breakthrough came when she developed a “caregiver identity integration.” The framework created boundaries and required an identity reset, to fully integrate the caregiver role into her life instead of trying to manage fragments of her identity that left her frustrated and bitter.

I definitely understand the feelings of resentment that can surface in the family caregiver role. It’s one of the reasons why I wrote The Reluctant Caregiver. I also shared my Gen X caregiver experience on the Rodger That podcast. People shouldn’t feel guilty about such negative feelings, but for their own emotional health and to be a better caregiver, it’s important to address these feelings, reach out for support and develop a caregiving plan that works better for you, much like Schauf did. The process can be painful and messy, much like caregiving itself. But as Schauf said, being present, not perfect, is the goal. Being present as a daughter is something I wish I had done more of, versus being worried about every aspect of my caregiver role.

This holiday season is a great time to assess your family caregiver situation and determine if changes need to be made.

Illustration created by ChatGPT.

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , , , , , , , , ,

November 16, 2025 · 12:35 pm

Gratitude comes in many forms and sizes

I was attending an event this weekend where we were talking about grief and gratitude. It’s an appropriate topic for November as we quickly approach Thanksgiving where we are reminded to be grateful for our blessings.

But when one is going through difficult times or actively grieving, tapping into gratitude can feel impossible. A person at the event I attended suggested that the bigger and deeper the grief, aiming to engage in smaller moments of gratitude can feel more achievable and still have a significant impact. The last thing one should do is force themselves to be grateful, because authenticity is essential. The last thing someone who is grieving should do is feel guilty because they cannot muster feelings of gratitude.

What can be helpful is taking time to be present in the moment. Recognizing the complexity of the more negative emotions and understanding that grief’s depth mirrors the bond you had with what is gone. Those relationships that were complicated may trigger even a deeper mix of emotions. Honoring those feelings over time can slowly make space for other feelings to emerge, such as gratitude.

It can also help to focus on something outside of your current situation. I find nature to be one of the simplest and most satisfying ways to ground oneself in a moment of gratitude. Being of awe of the stars in the night sky, a gorgeous sunrise, the colors of the leaves in autumn — these simple moments of gratitude have helped chip away at the oppressive grief I have felt at times during the holiday season.

Hope these tips help if you are navigating grief this holiday season.

Illustration generated by Google Gemini.

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

November 8, 2025 · 2:20 pm

How prepared are you for aging?

Courtesy of John Hancock’s Longevity Preparedness Index

As we enter the holiday season, where some will have more interaction with family members, it’s a good time to assess your family’s preparedness when it comes to aging well. Anthony Cirillo shared on The Aging Experience a “Longevity Preparedness Index” produced by John Hancock in collaboration with MIT’s AgeLab.

Courtesy of John Hancock

The Longevity Preparedness Index , surveyed over 1,300 Americans in 2025 to assess readiness across 8 top aging areas: social connection, finance, daily activities, care, home, community, health, and life transitions.

As Cirillo points out in his post, Americans didn’t fare well overall, scoring just 60 out of 100 for longevity preparedness. He offers actions people can take to increase their ability to age well, from growing social connections to having frank conversations about financial planning and life transitions.

The key theme is that the time to prepare is before one becomes older and before health issues need to be addressed. The one area in which Americans are least prepared is one of the most important when it comes to aging: care. Scoring just 42/100, the majority of those surveyed do not have a care plan and do not know who would take care of them if a health issue required assistance. Creating an advanced care directive is vital.

No one can predict the specific care needs you or your loved ones will require in the future, but considering these critical area of aging can help families be more prepared and make smart decisions that will offer them the best chance of aging well.

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , , , ,