No, not like Pisces or Gemini. Commercial signs.
I don’t know how it is in other municipalities, but it isn’t easy in Orange County, Florida.
Our sign contractor said we could save $500 by getting the permit ourselves, so we took our original plans down to the Zoning Board a few weeks ago. We signed in and waited. And… waited. They finally called our name to have one county employee tell us how big our sign could be and where we could place it on the property.
Let me say this: We were removing the sign that was on the building and replacing it with a sign on the side of the road. The placement of the building on the property made it difficult to see the existing sign when driving by, that and the curve of the road. Well, and the speed of the vehicles… that doesn’t help either.
Anyway, we can’t have both signs because of some archaic law that’s been on the books for years. Fine, we’ll deal with just the one sign.
Then we had to wait in another line to have our drawings approved by an architect. So we waited. And waited.
Finally, our name was called and we were told that our drawings were no good. They had to be submitted by a licensed, approved architect. I don’t get this. It’s a sheet of plywood stuck in the ground with two four-by-fours. Apparently, they are concerned with the next 100 MPH hurricane coming through and knocking it down.
Before you say “that makes sense”, remember that people are not required to get a permit to plant a tree, much less trim the 50 year old gangly maple in the back yard. We aren’t trying to raise a new building, it’s a fucking sign.
So we had to pay an architect to basically redraw TheHusband’s drawing and put his little raised stamp on it. Fine. Then TheHusband went down and got the Zoning Board’s blessing, paid the permit fee, and we were good to go.
So the contractor came out and dug the holes. Work stop. At this point, we have to call the Zoning Board and schedule an inspector to come out and look at the work. He has to make sure the holes are deep enough.
And they weren’t. The drawing clearly say how deep the holes should be and the contractor incorrectly read them. I might have gone off on TheHusband when he said that he’d finish digging the holes. Honestly, what are we paying the contractor for? I ended up biting my tongue and he dug the holes. We called for another inspection.
He came out and tossed holy water on them.
TheHusband then went down to approve actual the sign before it was installed. Unfortunately, once again, the contractor did not build it to the specifications in the approved drawings. Another trip to the architect for new drawings (he was nice enough not to charge us), and then I had to take them back down to the Zoning Board to re-submit them.
I told the receptionist what I needed to do, she placed my name in the computer and I waited to be called. An hour later, another lady from the Commercial Division called my name and brought me to her desk, asking what I needed today. I explained what had happened, and she said I needed to go through the people in the Residential Division.
Full stop.
It’s a Commercial sign for a Commercial business on a Commercial road, but I needed to go through the Residential Division?
“That’s just how we do things.”
Biting my tongue (again), I sat back down and she put me back in the computer. Finally, I was called and the guy looked at the resubmitted drawings for, literally, 10 seconds before he put a big APPROVED stamp on it. I thanked him and left before my mouth could get me in trouble.
Called the contractor and they came out and installed our sign. Called the Zoning Board to come out and inspect the final installation, only to be told that we had to pay a “Re-Inspection Fee”, because we had failed the first one.
Full stop.
Couldn’t they have told me this THREE TIMES IN THE LAST WEEK? Once, when they failed us, once at reinspection, and once when we resubmitted the drawings?
So, back down there today. No one was at the receptionist’s desk, so I walked back to the cashier’s office. No line. When the girl behind the desk acknowledged me, I said that I’d like to pay a “re-inspection” fee. She asked if I’d been signed into the computer.
Oy.
So I went back out front, got signed into the computer by the receptionist, and waited. And waited. Finally, my name was called and I followed the woman back to her desk. She asked why I was there, so I told her. She turned to her computer, asked my company’s name, whether I was paying with cash, check, or credit card (check); and then asked my check number. Then she said for me to go to the Cashier’s desk.
So I did. I told her what I needed to do, she pushed a button to print me a receipt, and told me to write my check.
For $37.00
Filed under: bullshit, Me Me Me, OrBLANDo, Self-Employment | 5 Comments »
Mike Says 