Three Types of Friends 

In life, there are 3 types of friends you’ll need to survive. Let Rock and Seoul’s Bibimbuns dessert paint a picture:

The first type of friend is a lot like a pretzel stick. They’re the ones who would always stick up for you when everything seems to be melting away. They’re always there, and you can always count on them in times of need. They seem strong, but when the chocolate fades away, you’ll see that they’re just like you… Fragile and broken and needing of love and support. But they’re there, and that’s the most important thing you should know.

The second type is the kind who’s honest and sometimes too painfully real. They would throw buns at you when you’re starting to become an asshole. They seem too hard on the outside, but are really just softies on the inside. Sometimes they would attempt to sugarcoat the truths they present to you so as not to hurt you. But at the end of the day you know that you need them because life can’t always be sweet. They are there to remind you that life is tough too, but at least you’ve got people around you to help you get better, to keep you stronger, and to let you taste every flavor that life has yet to offer.

The third type is the kind of friend who isn’t always there but their presence are like marshmallows and sprinkles on top. They make all kinds of desserts better. They may not always be physically present, and you may not always get the chance to talk to them, but even without words you know that they will always be waiting to see you and talk to you. They’re the silent ones. The ones who do not try hard to please but are always good to have around. Every once in a while their names pop up in conversations, just like how hard sprinkles and soft marshmallows tickle your sensations. And right at that moment, even when they’re in faraway lands, you’ll remember how important they are to you and how much they’ve changed your life with their little acts of kindness.

And then there’s the ice cream, the center of everything. That’s you. You may think that the most important part of the dessert is the one in the middle but towards the end, when everything else around it starts to go missing you’ll find that center melting into a puddle of mess. That’s when you know that a dessert will only be as good as it’s supposed to be when enjoyed with the rest of the other ingredients.

That’s when you know you need good friends.

Save

The Children’s Book That Launched A Million Stories For Our Generation

This post was written two years ago but I figured that there should be a special reason for this to be published and frankly, I could not think of a better day than today.

Today we celebrate two decades of magic through the Harry Potter book series. In June 26, 1997, then struggling writer Joanne Rowling, finally had her debut novel released. It was called Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, published under Bloomsbury Publishing in London. In the book, J.K. Rowling (a pen name assumed because the publishers thought the author should have a genderless tone), tells the story of a boy whose magical abilities lead him to studying in a magical school and defeating the world’s most evil wizard.

To this day, the Harry Potter series remains to be one of the most influential books our generation has ever seen. I could site all the awards and charts this book has been listed in but that would be a waste of time for both you and me (unless you came here for the information, in which case, feel free to click here). I could however, show you just how much impact it left in the lives of normal people, like you and me.

First, you can go check out this blog post that I wrote about a year ago about my love for Harry Potter and anything related to it. It’s password protected and the only way to unlock it is by knowing your standard spells. (Hint: You can check this page for the charm you need. Remember to type it as you see it!)

Second, if you’re tired of reading one blog post after another, go check out the YouTube playlist below. It’s a series of videos from a channel called CallMeIshmael which encourages people to call and relay their stories about a book they loved through his voicemail.

“I’m Dominique and I’m the girl who lived, too…”

-The Girl Who Lived, CallMeIshmael

John Green on Paper Towns, Education, and Life Mapping

In some ways, I think John Green is a Godsend.

His voice may be very unstable in this TED talks video (probably because he’s in a room full of people), but his message was so moving, it literally brought me to tears. Watch and learn.

We would all like to believe that the stuff that we write down on paper can change the actual world in which we’re actually living…

5 Videos That Will Make Valentines Day Bearable

 

 

1. If you miss having butterflies in your stomach…

These kids will make you remember what it’s like to be so innocently attracted to someone without the goddamn complications life has to offer.

“We’re best friends, and I have a crush on her. She doesn’t know it… She doesn’t know that but I think she has a crush on me too.”

2. If you’re finally spending Valentines Day alone after years of being with someone…

Here’s a drunk Hannah Hart to tell you why you should focus on loving yourself before loving someone new.

“Because it shouldn’t be the circumstance that shapes you, it’s should be the way you react to circumstance…”

3. If the idea of V-Day has become so stale for you and your long-term partner that you’d really rather stay at home…

Maybe these cute trivia would make yo excited about the concept again?

“Women who believe in gender equality are more likely to be in a relationship than women who don’t identify as feminists.”

4. If you’re feeling frisky and you need some serious calm-me-down tune to listen to…

Then don’t watch this video. It’s gonna make you feel A LOT frisky. I blame the sax part. NGHHH.

5. If you want to remember what Valentines Day really is about…

Because marketing has ruined it for all of us. Here’s me, singing a love song that I think tells us what this day really is all about. Happy Valentines Day, b*tches. I love you!

 

Hello darkness, my old friend

DSC_1295-01

Shadows came rushing in
A flood of overwhelming majorities
I can feel it all
Sensitive to many if not all
I can hear them whisper
One by one
A murmur, a hush
Then came a few who spoke
Fewer shouted
I can hear a buzz
A ringing scream inside the halls
I can hear them all
First inaudible
Then came clarity
A fine line between hearsay and reality
I tried screaming
louder than what they are saying
But no sound came out of my throat
I need an escape
Far from pangs of reality
A trickle of sweat
Beading onto my head
Slowly creeping
Trickling to my neck
Cold shivers down my spine
Goosebumps on my arms
I swallowed hard
Bracing myself
Then shadows came rushing in
A flood of overwhelming majorities

I’ve Been Forgetting About This A Lot These Days

This is a spoken word performance by Shane Koyczan.

I used to listen to this to calm myself when the going gets tough. But lately I’ve been so busy that even telling a bad day from a good one has become almost impossible. These days there are only bad days and worse days. So I’m sharing this again just to remind myself that maybe, a few days and months and years from now, I’m going to declare that today has been a good day and that I just didn’t see it that way.

There will be bad days.

Be calm. Loosen your grip, opening each palm slowly now. Let go.

Be confident. Know that “now” is only a moment, and that if “today” is as bad as it gets, understand that by tomorrow, “today” will have ended.

Be gracious. Accept each extended hand offered, to pull you back from the “somewhere” you cannot escape.

Be diligent. Scrape the gray sky clean. Realize every dark cloud is a smoke screen meant to blind us from the Truth – and the Truth is, whether we see them or not, the Sun and Moon are still there and always there is Light.

Be forthright. Despite your instinct to say “it’s alright, I’m okay” – be honest. Say how you feel without fear or guilt, without remorse or complexity.

Be lucid in your explanation, be sterling in your oppose. If you think for one second no one knows what you’ve been going through; be accepting of the fact that you are wrong, that the long drawn and heavy breaths of despair have at times been felt by everyone – that Pain is part of the Human Condition, and that alone makes you a legion.

We hungry underdogs, we risers with dawn, we dissmisser’s of odds, we pressers of on – we will station ourselves to the calm. We will hold ourselves to the steady, be ready player one. Life is going to come at you armed with hard times and tough choices, your voice is your weapon, your thoughts ammunition – there are no free extra men, be aware that as the instant now passes, it exists now as then. So be a mirror reflecting yourself back, and remembering the times when you thought all of this was too hard and you’d never make it through.

Remember the times you could have pressed quit – but you hit continue.

Be forgiving. Living with the burden of anger, is not living. Giving your focus to wrath will leave your entire self absent of what you need. Love and hate are beasts and the one that grows is the one you feed.

Be persistent. Be the weed growing through the cracks in the cement, beautiful – because it doesn’t know it’s not supposed to grow there.

Be resolute. Declare what you accept as true in a way that envisions the resolve with which you accept it. If you are having a good day, be considerate. A simple smile could be the first-aid kit that someone has been looking for.

If you believe with absolute honesty that you are doing everything you can – do more.

There will be bad days, Times when the world weighs on you for so long it leaves you looking for an easy way out. There will be moments when the drought of joy seems unending. Instances spent pretending that everything is alright when it clearly is not, check your blind spot. See that love is still there, be patient.

Every nightmare has a beginning, but every bad day has an end. Ignore what others have called you. I am calling you “friend”. Make us comprehend the urgency of your crisis. Silence left to its own devices, breed’s silence. So speak and be heard. One word after the next, express yourself and put your life in the context – if you find that no one is listening, be loud. Make noise. Stand in poise and be open. Hope in these situations is not enough and you will need someone to lean on. In the unlikely event that you have no one, look again.

Everyone is blessed with the ability to Listen. The Deaf will hear you with their Eyes. The Blind will see you with their Hands. Let your Heart fill their news-stands, let them read all about it. Admit to the bad days, the impossible nights. Listen to the insights of those who have been there, but come back. They will tell you; you can stack misery, you can pack disappear you can even wear your sorrow – but come tomorrow you must change your clothes.

Everyone knows Pain. We are not meant to carry it forever. We were never meant to hold it so closely, so be certain in the belief that what pain belongs to now will belong soon to then. That when someone asks you “how was your day”, realize that for some of us, it’s the only way we know how to say “be calm”.

Loosen your grip, opening each palm, slowly now – let go.

To The Woman You Are, And The Woman You Used To Be

“Sana ‘wag kang magbabago.” (My wish is that you never change.)

I’ve been in a dozen debut parties and there was NEVER a time when I didn’t hear this spoken. Don’t ever change. When you’re 18, sitting on a makeshift throne, bedazzled in a gown with all kinds of beads and sequins, with all your relatives and friends in front of you, celebrating your lady-hood, this doesn’t seem to matter.

But it does. It does matter.

It matters because after a couple of years, when you’re 25 and left alone, working late at night, you will look back at your awkward debut photos and you’re gonna wish you asked your Tita why she said that, and what she meant by that. What was she feeling? What battles were she fighting back then, for her to have said that? Why is that at 18, you’re expected to change, and never change all at the same time?

It matters because you’re going to look back and realize and that you’ve changed, and you couldn’t have helped it if you tried.

It matters because by the time you realize you’ve changed, you’re gonna feel like you’ve lost your way and it’s all your fault.

It matters because by the time you’re 25 Sara Bareilles would release this song, and you’re gonna feel A LOT OF FEELS.

She’s imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine

Stupid Days

So a few days ago a talked about the sad realities of realizing your dream and finding yourself stuck in a nightmarish job, instead of the vision-board-perfect life you once thought it would be (read about that here).

Today, I found myself just staring at weird spots, contemplating life. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I’m just completely lost and unproductive and, just worthless. And then I came upon this awesome video and… well, just go watch it.

On choosing your profession…

Something I think not everyone understands is that artists have to make a living, too. We can’t just thrive off the warm, happy glow of having just created something–our craft is our work.

On getting frustrated about drawing the line between work and art…

I have bad days, days where I’m just paralyzed by how many things I want to do that I can’t do because of stupid reasons like money and time and whatever. And I shouldn’t compare my career to other people’s careers, but I do… and it just… kills me.

On becoming a workaholic…

The only thing that helps is working… finding new projects, telling new stories,a nd anything that feels more productive than production.

On realizing your dreams…

I know that I’m just a speck of sand on a beach of identical specks. And I’m a relatively lucky speck. I’m a speck that sometimes gets to make art.

Guess I’m not alone then.

This Is For You, 13-Year Old Pretty Girl

She just wants to be beautiful
She goes unnoticed, she knows no limits
She craves attention, she praises an image

She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor

Oh, she don’t see the light that’s shining
Deep within the eyes, can’t find it

Maybe we have made her blind
So she tries to cover up her pain and cuddle woes away
Cause cover girls don’t cry after their face is made

But there’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful

She has dreams to be an envy, so she’s starving

You know, cover girls eat nothing
She says “beauty is pain and there’s beauty in everything
What’s a little bit of hunger?”
I could go a little while longer, she fades away

She don’t see her perfect, she don’t understand she’s worth it
Or that beauty goes deep within the surface
So to all the girls that’s hurting
Let me be your mirror, help you see a little bit clearer
The light that shine’s within

There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful

No better you than the you that you are
No better life than the life we’re living
No better time for your shine, you’re a star
Oh, you’re beautiful, oh, you’re beautiful

And there’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful

And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful

This Story Is Not Just About Makeup…

…It’s also about why working in a fashion magazine sucks, big time.

See, I’m one of those weird girls who read magazines so much as a kid until it became a lifelong dream to be a model or an editor or a stylist or whatever, as long as I get to read magazines for a living. Now, I’m paid to read magazines, go to shoots, interview celebrities, write stories, and look respectable enough that when I introduce myself as an editor, I won’t be doubted.

I love it. But frankly, I couldn’t help but hate the industry I’m in. Devil Wears Prada is RIGHT, girls. This isn’t all glamour. That’s very cliche but very true and here’s why: Beauty and Fashion. Two things that make the magazine industry go round. Here’s the thing.

When you enter our building, here’s what you’ll realize: Dress codes do not apply to the people who work in my company. It’s not because we’re dominant. It’s just that, it would prevent us from living a lifestyle that makes up the whole industry we’re living in. We breathe fashion (supposedly), we live in all things beauty, and having to wear skirts that go past your knee is just. plain. evil. (Especially when you don’t have enough clothes that are long enough to cover your damn huge thighs and butt.) Oh and the makeup?! The people here would put beauty gurus to shame because dayummm, everyone’s brows are on fleek, and the no-makeup-makeup-look game is sooo on point. (Okay, I am sounding like the female-magazine-website-writer I am now.) And that’s what I hate/love the most. I love doing my own makeup (except for the brows, I am so bad at that) but I get so lazy doing it on a daily basis.

And then I saw this video…

…and it hit home so bad.

Like when I jumped from one company to another because of a ‘dream’

“Dabble your eyes with optimism. It’s all about your perspective on the world. But you wanna be careful and not put too much optimism, or else you’ll be left with disappointment via your high expectation.”

And when the ‘culture’ got to me so fast, I became the person I hate so much…

“If your thoughts are negative, self-deprecating or judgmental, guess where it’s gonna go? It’s gonna trickle down that beautiful face and make you ugly.”

When I go home at 5 in the morning, tired but still trying to convince myself that I did good today because I ‘helped’ people…

“Does what you do out here [your face] match what you what you feel in here [your heart]? Because I believe that confidence and how you carry yourself is going to affect more of your relationships than anything else. If everywhere you come from is an insecure and an inadequate-feeling place, you’re not gonna be a very fun person to be around.”

So yeah… some truth to be served here. I’m still trying. Are you?