If you insist on seeing Hook… …do exactly what I say. Your left arm is dead and hangs lifeless at your side. Lean on the crutch! Left foot turned in. Tilt your head and glare with your good eye! Now crack your mouth and drool. Now growl!
Growl! –
How are you? –
Not bad, and you?
Not bad!
……………………………………..Tinkerbell, Peter Pan, Random Pirate Dude
Gazing at my reflection yesterday morning, it was this scene from the 1991 movie Hook that popped into my head.
I had awoken with that awful (and sadly familiar now) feeling that somehow overnight my face got masked in sandgrit. I knew it before I even looked in the mirror. I knew it from the way my vision felt off. And there it was in all its puffy glory: poison ivy. On my face. By my eyes, my right eye half swollen shut.
Regardless of lumpy face or not, the day’s agenda was taking care of getting a new washing machine. As I checked out every angel of my distorted face in the mirror I started to wonder how I was going to get my stuff done. It felt hopeless for a bit and then I wondered if maybe I could make my circumstances work for me? I knew I was just pep talking myself into getting on with it as “Glare with your good eye” surfaced up from my movie memories. I’m not mega bartering as I’ve had to do in a few markets around the world, but there is a bit of haggling to be done nonetheless. Mostly just knowing what I want and not getting pressured into something else because of too many choices and too many details.
I trudged on downstairs to start the day. After steeping the morning tea bag in my mug of hot water, that used tea bag went right on my eye. I was pretty proud of this bit of efficiency. It helped some; Benadryl helped more. And then a Benadryl induced nap may or may not have furthered the cause.
Swelling went down enough to search on line for more reviews and possibilities of washer and dryer models, comparing store sales and fine print, until I felt unBenadryled enough to drive safely. I checked out store floor models again only to return home, overwhelmed, and look on line some more.
It’s here that I may have gotten a wee bit sidetracked with my internet searching, as one is wont to do when feeling apprehensive about a big spending decision, and with being frustrated at a second poison ivy outbreak by my eyes again, plus miserably uncomfortable, I found myself googling these:


I started to believe that I might just be one of those gardeners who should probably invest in one of these so I stop touching my face (arms, hands, legs, neck, ears…) with poison ivy oils that are so prevalent in NoVa summer foliage. And a new washer and dryer would keep them looking this pretty! (Obviously vanity is not a hinderance, as demonstrated by my swollen shopping face.) (That and I want clean clothes soon)
I don’t know what the neighbors would think if I was out and about in such a get-up. I would hope I’d look as cheery as the second model, but those shoes and naked ankles and hands would have to be covered too. (And there goes at least some semblance of fashion) At least with the protected head net, I would stop swiping at my face and neck, thinking that I am swatting away mosquitos and deadly ticks but more obviously inadvertently coating myself with danger.
I’m seriously thinking this might by my only way to be able to garden the very back safely, since it affects me so terribly bad.
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Well yesterday came and went, I still haven’t finalized my washer and dryer choice – although I think today might be the day! The poison ivy and swelling is still going strong, but I’ve got ‘glaring with my good eye’ down pretty good. Wish me luck!