What kind of man did I marry?

What kind of man did I marry? I ask myself this question far more than a wife should. He works 40hrs a week with the added drive time he’s away 50hrs a week for his “job”.

Depending his state of mind he will return home on payday (weekly) with or without his check. Why?

Addiction..

He can sit and gamble every cent to his check of every week knowing there’s myself and 4 children depending on him.

When he’s not in addiction mode, he’ll spend his days And nights off in his room. Blocked away from myself and our children. Bills still backed up, behind, and facing eviction.

Where’s my relief? My stress free day? ..shit, I’d settle for a hot relaxing bath unbothered.

Where’s my best friend, my partner in this?

Don’t ask or it creates tense disagreements.

I can’t be the only one?

Back story

Wife and Mom of 4 since 2006. First born son is 13, first born daughter is 9, second son is 4, second daughter is 1. My marriage has been very bumpy from the get go and has gotten worse since our last child. Husband struggles with addiction, gambling and everything that comes with those addictions. I feel as if I’m a single parent most times. Recently relized I very much needed an outlet to release my thoughts and feelings but yet not spill out all my drama on my friends. Hoping to achieve just that, release! And find common people some of my same struggles because I cant be the only one!