Adventures in Retirement Accounts

Recently, I retired.  Not because I wanted to, no way, I loved my job.  I retired because my body, stuck in "fight or flight" mode for most of 50 years, finally fought back.  I got lung cancer (genetic - go figure), asthma out of control, diabetes, heart failure (both types), neuropathy, ... well, just pick it, it is probably one of those things driving me nuts.  At any rate, I wasn't able to continue.  Upon retiring, I found that the ASRS, like any of the retirement/savings that require the business to pay the working person for their years of service, is no different than anything else controlled by the people who owe the money.  

But heck, this is not a whine and cry deal!  Pay attention to what I am saying and remember, it doesn't just happen to teachers.

Consider that the employee pays (if you are a teacher in AZ) 13% of their paycheck into an account that they may or may not actually receive future funds at retirement.  So, if, according to the state, the average teacher pay is around $50,000, the amount per year (without raises or any other funding) then the teacher who works for the better part of 20 years puts $130,000 in their retirement account (usually a little more since everyone gets extras and raises) and so should the employer... so, the lowest amount should be around $260,000 in the account.  

Now, most teachers learn rather quickly that while we get a little tax break for $250 for those funds we use in our classrooms (not the amount most teachers use), we don't get a break on the ongoing costs of maintaining our licensure (yep, education never ends), the cost of having to be extremely creative to maintain a professional, classroom oriented wardrobe, then, of course, if we have a family we have to pay like everyone else.  So, the teacher's salary may start at $50,000 a year, but this is kind of what the math looks like:

$50,000 (salary) - $6,500 (retirement) - $12,000 (24% Fed taxes) - $12,000 (SS  taxes and Med) - $4,000 (State taxes) = $15,500 cash for all the living expenses.  

I know, silly, right?  But teachers learn to work 2 or 3 jobs, and most don't think about it much.  It is a calling.  However, you have to wonder... 

I got a survey from ASRS (Arizona State Retirement Service), and they wanted to know if they were helpful... so I said NO and wrote the following:

The process is convoluted, controlled by the employer, not the employee, and overall, not geared to be helpful.  Information is withheld, making the decisions made with this partial information less informed than they should be.  The ASRS is supposed to be about the employee, but the information is geared to make it more about saving the money that the employer owes the employee, making it inaccessible in their lifetimes, and denying that same funding to the heirs of the retiree. There is NO clarity in exactly what the employer owes and the employee, no matter how many years they worked to put their share into the account, will never receive the entire sum.  

As I started the process, I discovered things that they won't tell you.

1 - You can withdraw the entire sum that is owed to you.

2 - You can withdraw part of the sum that is owed to you.

3 - If you withdraw it all, you will not receive the money supposedly deposited by the employer - only your own.

4 - If you withdraw part of it, the employer's portion disappears from view, and you may or may not get it.

5 - If you withdraw part of it, you will be taxed in the upper ranges (a $20,000 partial payment will cost you $5,000 in taxes).

6 - You have to pay the insurance costs to your employer (if they offer it) to maintain your current insurance costs (they do not tell you until you have missed the payments).

7 - You are almost forced to pay for the state retirement medical care at rates that are 2-3 times higher than you currently pay, and

8 - Your retirement will take forever if you don't sign up for their insurance.

And through it all, you have reams and reams of forms and papers to read, absorb, and understand.  The helpful people who are sent to hold seminars to help you understand the process are only available on that day when you can't be available.  Or, as in my case, I really was too ill to actually understand what was happening, even though it seems to everyone that I was fine.  Because I have no one close enough to notice that I really was ill and not actually in charge of what was going on, I got lucky - the system only screwed up my insurance and took a bit of cash from me.

Truth - if I had life to redo, I would have waited to have children (although I would still want my child); I would have married differently because I would have found a way to go to college and been the attorney that I really wanted to be; I would have made peace with my little sister and my older sister.  I would have been more open to other people's truths and needs.

As it is - REMEMBER - retirement accounts are your money!  You EARNED it, and it is not a gift.  Pay attention to your cash.  If you don't really understand it, hire a reputable accountant to manage your funds - put them in a living trust and DO NOT think that money is going to be enough.

Another Day... A New Place

 So, I started actually moving into and living in my new place.  It is not a rental...which is new for me.  I know that years ago, I would not have bought a trailer and certainly not one that wasn't new.  My brain has caught up with reality, and I chose this one - I like it.  Small, with its own quirks and oddities, but mine.

Reggie discovered the doggy door that I had put in for him.  He won't use it - yet.  That will only last until he has to potty.  Then it will be fine.

Thor is afraid I am going to leave him - anxiety - so this is going to be fun when I have to go back and forth to the old place until it is finished.  He will be fine.

I wonder often if I traded one shadow world for another, or now that I am across town, I will stop seeing anyone at all... We shall see.

So for now - Another day and a new place.

Random Thoughts on the Holidays

The holidays are upon us...like a fuzz on a rotten apple.  But truthfully, I love the holidays.  During the holidays, I indulge in my favorite thought processes.  I love holiday movies, specials, stories, people, food, well...just about everything.  I never really thought about it until now.  

First, why?  I mean it, none of that is here for the long run.  No matter what I want to believe, I know that all that good feeling stuff will vanish by the 5th of January as if snuffed out by a bad wind.  But it starts right after my birthday and goes on for a while.  Maybe that is why I am so susceptible to the draw of the holidays.  

I watch the feel-good movies - yep, even the corny romance ones.  They can make me cry or laugh or simply soothe my ruffled feelings.  I always love that.  It is helpful since I also have SADD (seasonal affective depression disorder).  But that isn't really why I watch them.  I watch them because they remind me that there is some innocence and kindness left in the world somewhere.  After all, writers use their own experiences to make their work believable.  

I get to see favorites, sometimes - can you believe that things like Charlie Brown's Christmas are streaming where you have to pay through the nose... I will keep looking since that is one of my favorites.  I get to see a bit into my past - and wonder what the future is going to look like.

The food - OMG - now I am not a turkey fan, but I love turkey and cranberry sauce sandwiches.  A little mayo, some stuffing carefully warmed, and throw on that turkey, top it with cranberry sauce - either kind - and YUMMY!

That and the chocolatiers put their best foot forward... I am glad that Sees Candies is still here.  I love their chocolates.  I think I am going to go by there tomorrow.  Maybe - Maybe the next day.  I love their chocolates - YUM!

Also, I get to order some spiced nuts and peanut brittle from my friend.  She makes the best!

The best part is the people.  Truly.  People seem to realize that it is better to be kind to each other than to just be mean... they do things and are gentler on each other.  I know, not everyone, but a large number.  

I wish I could undo a thousand stupid things I did over the years and put that into a positive energy that works for my family.  That would include my direct offspring... So if I were to wish for something, it would be:

May your holidays be filled with joy, and may God bless your lives.  I will always love you.

Golden Age My Ass

 Things that people told me as I was growing up included the idea that these would be my "golden years."  They said I would be able to travel, hike, and overall enjoy what I worked for over my lifetime...

Y'all are liars!  

"Golden Years!" Golden for whom? My doctors? Wait... the medical profession in general?  

Truth be known - it is all about the Benjamins...  

What they forgot is that they were only middle-aged when they were spouting that BS, and they really didn't know the truth either.  

So... Little piece of advice:

    You will get old.  Take care of your body and your mind while you are younger.  Everything you do to it now - well, babies, it comes back to you...in SPADES!  So, that extra workout really isn't necessary.  Do a fine job on the needed workout and the rest will take care of itself.  You also won't damage your joints, tear muscles and/or do other unnecessary crap that will come back to haunt you.  Remember, every injury you have will come back - repeatedly.  

That is not to say you don't work out!  OH NO!  Keep that body healthy (NOT SKINNY), don't carry more weight than a few pounds over whatever the "normal" is for you, but don't kill yourself trying to be skinny.

DON'T DIET!  Yeah, skinny is not all that it's made out to be.  Just keep your body healthy!  Skinny tends to start eating bone, hair, and skin... note fat ladies tend to be pretty even when they are old...really skinny ones tend to be severe and very wrinkled - well, not all of them!  Sorry, my fat lady tendencies are coming through. Just remember - you have to eat only as long as your tummy needs you to - and it prefers things without chemicals or extreme processing, and it totally hates things that are not really edible to start with.  In other words, when you can feel your dinner sitting in your belly, you are either over the limit or just under it, so stop eating.  If you have that crazy "feed me" going on, you need to eat.  Don't overdo it.  

WOW!  Sorry folks... didn't mean to get on the soapbox.  Truth - getting old is painful and exhausting.  But it doesn't mean we are stupid or worthless!  Take care of yourself, and you will live to find out!

Be well - L

The Lens You See Through...Consider This...

 One thing that humans are truly myopic about... their internal drives and ideas.   Hmmm... let me be clearer.  Everyone in the world has a personal lens, varied and, usually, very different from that of the person standing right next to them... but some things can't be denied.

For instance...

Back in the 1950s - 1980s, women were objectified and treated as second-class, chattel, brood mares, babysitters, housekeepers, and sexual puppets.  

Before that time, the world was very different.

This shows that from the early 1950s until the 1980s, we were in a transition.  Our men were out of WW2, starting/finishing in Korea, and starting/finishing in Vietnam.  Many were traumatized, could not find work, and took/used drugs...a part of history that repeated itself while we were involved in Iraq and Afghanistan.  The women who returned from these wars are barely noted in the books.

The overwhelmingly ignorant practice of racism and institutional racism continued.  Not just on an individual level, but on a level that reached into the prisons, hospitals, housing, and every industry on the planet.  However, it had begun to change and become something different.

The 1990s and the advent of the internet and the electronic media changed things even faster.  The fact that a person could, provided they had access, reach out and see what was being shared with the world in an instant was not lost on the younger generations.  They drank it in like rich wine.  But did not see the pitfalls and often found themselves in a hole that they didn't know how to get out of... it got bigger.

In the 2000s to the 2010s, the internet, cell phones, and electronic media as a whole became all-encompassing and started to force out, and in the end did force out, the use of paper.  It also forced out the individual's ability to use cognitive discretion and logical thought processes to make true connections to the greater knowledge.

By 2010, and the beginning of the crash of our Nation, parents, adults (that would be all of us- me included), had failed to see what this use of "instant" would create.  Total and complete lack of real human connection... according to some.  Selfish and self-centered focal points... according to some.  Many people watch and cringe.

This led to the Orange Oompa Lump, in the 2016 election, leading to his 2017 swearing in.  He was and is the most dangerous of all the issues and viewpoints there are.  Because of his age and the fact that a lot of things are lost in history or rather, in this case, hidden in bullshit, a pedophile who abuses women and was not then and is not now sane and capable of leading a nation as the president is sitting in the Whitehouse (that he defaced and will never last long enough to see completed). 

Like I said, point of view...   

2020.  Covid.  A disease that simply did not exist in that form (genetic makeup) before this time is released (by nature or humans - no one really knows).  Millions die, and our world changes even faster.

So, you can see where the transitions come closer and closer together...but how does that change the lens you see the world through?  I have to say it - It doesn't.  How you see the world is how you see the world.  If you have chosen to shorten your ability to pay attention beyond a few minutes at a time, there is nothing I can do to wake you up and shake your connections back into place.  Nothing.  

You are the one who has to see that it is okay to not believe what others believe.  You have to decide that the 19-second to 2-minute clip you watched is not the whole story and that there is more to the world than cute bunnies, babies, and kitties.  That you are not STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) but STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, Mathematics).  You are the one who will have to decide if the way you present to the world is "kind" or "productive" or "rude" or "entitled"... 

For me, I will do what I feel is right.  What I swore to do when I joined the military and what my fathers and the proud people that I learned the most from... Will you?

Appreciation -

 Well, as I said in my last post, I have Cancer... I like writing the capital "C" because everyone gets so freaked about it... even me.  I also have anemia, obesity (I am working on that), both kinds of heart failure, arthritis, crazy water retention issues, neuropathy in both my legs and feet... You get the idea.  That doesn't mean I have to live there.  I figured out how to get more steps each day and am doing an old person chair yoga workout... that should help.

But that doesn't mean it's all bad.  I retired.  Okay, I sent in my papers and will be SOL - you can't take it back once you do it -  if I don't bring in enough cash.  

So, I started something else - I started getting my profile together to tutor online.  I am fairly good at it.  I just have to finish the profile, etc., to start.  By Monday, that should be complete.  If I work it right, I should be able to make it financially.  If not...well, I am screwed.

It will be fine.  God is good, and I know that he/she/they will protect me and help me through this.

Summer has been so hot... but it is almost over!

Revelations:

I can change and pay attention to others...I can be more aware of their needs and desires.  

I can try!

I know I can!  

Today, a lovely young person helped me with the SSA website, and I know that she has got to be working her ass off because of all the issues with the government.  I made sure to let her know that she is appreciated!  Her assistance is more valuable than ever!    That was my cool for the day...but it made me feel real and alive.  

Thank you to all those of you who are out there working your butt off without a clue if somehow the idiocy of our current world is going to mess you up. You are wonderful, appreciated, and valuable!  Thank you. 

Cancer and Today - whining and blessed

 I realized that I hadn't even mentioned cancer.  At least not online...unless you are a family member.  I have actually been extremely quiet about a lot of things over the last few years.  Some of them are important, some not so much... most of the significant things I have left private.  Well...so yeah, I have cancer.  No big.  I don't even know if I am in remission now, cured, or what, but radiation therapy is stressful enough without writing about it.  I am still wondering if I bothered to tell those who needed the information.

Enough!  Okay, so some of the most random and interesting things enter my brain - usually late at night or when I am trying to just not think about anything.  One thing that I think about is the social structure that we live by...not a big deal, just interesting.  I mean, as I get older, I can see the way things have changed, as far as total structure, and how these changes affect the overall structure of society as a whole.  Then I thank the Lord that I won't be around to see the final effect.  It should be interesting.

Consider it... when was the last time you wanted the man who runs the train to be busy arguing with his lover over a phone that reaches him no matter where he is, and he is about 12 years old and has a mad crush?  Okay, maybe not 12 years old, but very young or immature.

So that kind of brings up the idea that I find interesting or at least strangely ignored.  Has anyone really thought about how different and truly the same things are?  I spent a week in the hospital.  I was, in the beginning, septic and dying.  The nurses who took care of me at the beginning were somewhere in their 40s to late 50s.  They were good.  They focused and understood the needs of the job.  I did not hear them standing around talking about their personal life.  I did not have to wait because they had a personal call that needed to be answered.  I only saw their cell phones when they were answering a call about a patient.

Then they finally moved me from the ICU, and everything changed.  The staff were between 30 and 40's old - late.  They were very different. Unlike the amazing professionals of the ICU, the techs spent more time walking up and down the hall in groups, giggling, texting, and complaining about how much work they had. I had, fortunately, mastered the food system so that I did not actually go without.  I had also mastered the "calling my dr" line that made sure that the techs helped me out. My family coming to see me helped a great deal as well.  I met my nurses in the morning and saw them again when they were leaving, 9 hours later.

Like I said, a very different world than when I was working as a tech (CNA back then)... and the damn cell phones ... yikes.

Okay, random whining - LOL!

The interesting part is that most young people are completely detached or seem to be detached from the adults or older people around them.  I mean detached emotionally.  I often feel like a laboratory specimen.  The kids watch, copy behaviors or facial expressions, etc., but do not actually understand that their emotional responses are the same as mine.  

Okay, truly random! Again, seriously, I need to relax!

Good things in life:

LIFE!  

No, really!  I have long since realized that I have been blessed in so many ways.  I have a child who appears to be happy, which is all a parent wants for them.  I have 2 grandchildren - again, they appear to be happy - and 3 great grandchildren (if what I have been told is true), and they are adorable and obviously happy little kids.  Super blessings, right!

Until tomorrow, I have the happy thoughts of being treated for cancer that is effective (I will see the doctor tomorrow, and it might have changed).

I am blessed with a family that loves me and knows that I am just a person who has my own issues.

I am blessed with my Reggie (best dog child ever!).  I am blessed with my Thor (best little brother dog child ever!).  

I am blessed with the job that I have wanted my entire adult life.

Life is good....

How are you blessed?

 

Random Thoughts

 I am still working on the basics in 3 stories.  The first being a teen fantasy/scifi.  Followed by a story for two of my nephews...childrens book, and finally a detective/scifi type story.  They are my wake-up and work projects.

I have discovered that my last roommate's use of alarms and timers is a great way to stay on track.  Especially now.  Dealing with everything at once makes it impossible to do without reminders.  

That's a story but not one that is shareable.  I did learn things about safety, trust and the nature of relationships.  I also learned that people are multi-faceted and they do things that don't make sense,  until you factor in all the things that they consider important and what these things push them to do.

WOW!  Okay a lot of words that actually only mean that people do things that mean something to them.

Okay, far to much work in that.  My cancer, however,  is telling me that it is nap time.  So is Reggie.   Have a great day!

Beginning Again... or is it endings? Hmmmm....

 As it always does, the world has moved on in the last few years.  I am no longer in Wisconsin with the ice and snow.  I am home.  Home that drives me to distraction and makes me want to scream...and that also soothes my soul and allows me to be myself...Arizona.  With its deserts and mountains...so beautiful and powerful but drenched in naivety to the point that others come here and pollute the state and move on exclaiming on how "dirty, worthless and stupid" it is... not all, but a lot.  Others stay and appreciate the beauty that is everywhere here.

However, for me, it will always be beautiful, ugly, amazing, worthless, crazy, rich, wonderful....HOME.

With all that said, welcome to my blog if you happen across it.  I will have it linked to my book website, etc., as soon as possible.  Until then, I will update when I have new input and share those works I am not selling or preparing to publish on my own, either online or in paper form.

Older works from this blog will be archived or deleted.  If there is a particular posting that you would like access to after it is archived, please contact me for the link to access it.  

Also, because I am still working, and taking some very specific classes, I may be slow to update the site.  Be patient - you never know when I am suddenly going to be free enough to get things done!

Thank you and see you again...beginning to write and be me, again!