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One Hail of a Night
Before this weekend I had heard of microbursts. I think I only remembered the term because it sounded like something a very small firecracker, or maybe a water balloon, did. I suppose it is all a mater of perspective – holding a ladyfinger when it goes off is a bad idea, and getting hit in the back of the head with a water balloon hurts.
Because our lease does not take effect until Thursday and our landlords-to-be are nice people, we have been living in our camper next to the new house for a few weeks – ever since the voyage of Noah’s horse trailer – while they have been moving out. This has not been the roughing it type of ordeal you might think. It is a nice pop up camper with a slide out dinette. The beds are comfortable. There is – or was – a large screen porch. And with lots of effort, thought and ruthless organization, MDW has kept our temporary home very pleasant and livable.
We sit on a hillside in a large field which extend about a quarter mile down to the road, with maybe a half mile of road front to the east and west.
As the sun was going down Friday evening we watched a truly wicked looking storm cell pass by to the north of us. But the skies over us remained fairly clear. We did some farm chores and some camper maintenance, had a nice dinner, and went to bed. As the kids were settling down to sleep, I went out to check on the dogs to make sure they could all get to their shelters on their (temporary) tie outs. There was a soft warm breeze and the sky was lightly overcast, but there was plenty of moonlight to see. One of them, Gabriella’s dog Chubby, was tangled up and I set to getting the very large, very bouncy puppy unwound so she could get inside.
As I bent over, fending her off with one hand while untying the amazingly complex knots with the other I noticed that everything suddenly got very quiet. I looked to the west at the tree line, about a thousand feet a way (I measured it later). I heard a sound like a small jet flying directly toward me – that moment before you can really hear the engines when it is a high frequency rushing sound. And then the trees just disappeared – nothing there but a solid wall of featureless gray. A fast moving wall of featureless gray. Fast moving directly at me! **
I unclipped Chubby’s collar yelled for her to come and sprinted for the trailer. That might not sound like the smartest place to go with a jet airplane sounding, fast moving, featureless gray wall howling down upon one, but everything I hold precious in this world was in that trailer and darned if I was going anyplace else. I got to the screen room, turned around and grabbed Chubby. I pushed her and MDW through the door and the blast of hail and wind hit us.
The screen room parted company with the trailer like it had been hit by a truck. Heavy, marine grade fabric tore from end to end. The aluminum supports bent like flexi straws. At the same time, the wind hit the bunk end so hard the the aluminum tube that forms the top support snapped without hardly bending – not crimped and then broken, just snapped like a dry twig. As I was still pushing the dog through the door it was blown shut against my shoulder (or elbow – I am not sure; I didn’t even feel it) so hard it knocked the lower panel most of the way out. I thought, as I scrambled through the door, that the frame hit the back of my head because it felt raw, though I couldn’t figure out how it had happened.
When I got to my feet, MDW was stuffing the kids, all of them in varying states of hysteria, under the table – an interesting task since there is room under there for two (maybe three) kids and the dog was in there, too. It was like watching somebody trying to push a bunch of wet bars of soap into a small box – she would push one in and another one would squirt out. Thinking it was just wind and rain she asked if we should run for the house. Listening to the hail hit the fiberglass top – and praying that it didn’t get big enough to punch through it – I told her no.
I don’t think it lasted more than a minute, or maybe two. After that it was just normal wind and rain. I went out and pulled the truck up to the trailer; MDW handed the kids to me one at a time and I stuffed their gibbering little selves into the truck and drove them the hundred feet or so to the door of the house. I saw them through the door and went to check on the animals.
Chubby and Java were with us, Aslan and Whitetip were in crates inside. Sir Edmund’s house had been blown away, but he was fine so it must have saved him from the initial blast. As his house headed off toward OZ, it met the gate to the pen where the buck goats and the last two dogs, Bumble Bee and Murphy, were confined. The gate ceased to be a barrier and the house kept going. I found the goats in the barn, looking shocked but unharmed, and Murphy was still in his house. Bumble Bee had come straight to us as we were loading into the truck. The horses were nowhere to be seen – I just hoped they were someplace sheltered (they were fine, as it turns out).
All critters accounted for, I went into the house to help MDW as she continued to try and calm the kids. My clothes were soaked and my scalp still felt raw. Taking off my shirt I asked if my scalp was bleeding. Everyone looked at me; there was a brief pause… and the weeping redoubled. My right (westerly) side and back looked like I had been shot with BBs. Hundreds of welts from the hail stones which had been between raisin and grape sized. Yes, they stung.
Sadly, my camera was on a table in the screen room. As best I can tell, it only takes about 3 hailstones to permanently deactivate a Canon S3. But, aside from that, we got off very lightly…
4 kids – scared, but unhurt
7 dogs – bewildered and wet, but unhurt
2 horses – escaped from downed fence, but sensible enough not to run off
1 gate gone – quickly rehung
1 dog hut MIA – soon relocated
1 door – repaired
1 ridge pole – replaced, $50
1 awning – replaceable, $300
1 skin – welts fading to strange purplish spots
God is good, and His angels’ wings are a mighty shelter… even from hail storms!
**By my best guess, based on the distance to the trees and how long it took to reach me, I calculated that it was moving between 70 and 90 mph!
The Odd Mix 