Are there really “significant” factors in a relationship? Would it be possible to apply a simple formula for couples and people to come up with a perfect solution? I don’t think so… But I believe it is healthy to acknowledge that there are factors in which we should consider as we build our relationship with our partner or other people.
I have read numbers of self-help books, articles, and pages. There may be those who have already shared these but I would just like to point some for other readers and for myself should I need some advice in the future. Haha! So here it goes…
1. Love
Love is all we need, love is all we have got, love makes the world go round, and love conquers all… How? (I actually don’t know how to attack this one, but I’ll try, okay?) For me, love is inborn. We carry love from the day we were conceived, until this very moment of our lives. It comes naturally, and it’s for us to discover how to take care of it, how to deal with it, and how to retain it. I, personally believe, that love is everything. Love is in you, love is air, love is water, and love is love. You could love someone you’ve just met (Oh, I love how she speaks; I love her, bro; Oh sis, you won’t believe it, I think I’ve fallen in love at first sight), familiar? You could love someone you hate (I hate that I love you; Let’s end this, it’s tearing me apart, but I still love you; I love you, good bye), right? Love is universal, love is a whole in itself, and love is love. It is not only a word, but also a mixture of everything under the sun.
Honestly, though, this might be out of topic, but I believe that love can be learned. A person can learn to love somebody. It does not really have to be forced, to be faked, and to any means of using the other person. Learning to love someone means accepting the other person and your self. It needs assurance and positivity. It needs guidance and courage. It needs letting yourself be just your self, but also considering what you have to give, in order to learn to love someone willingly. It’s clear to me that loving someone unwillingly is different from LEARNING to love someone unwillingly. Let’s go back to basics, when you learn, you’ll get lessons, right? And lessons are important in life.
Controversial? I think not. After all, it will boil down to the only person who could try and decide, and that’s you. We all have a choice, and if that choice break you, you need not blame your self. Be thankful, for you have learned how to love; and be thankful, that you gave and received love at a time or another
2. Respect and Trust
Respect that your partner is not you; Respect that we all live different lives at the same time; Respect that we are born in a world where we need to live our lives to live , and not to be dictated; and trust follows.
Respect and trust is letting the other person be – be who they are, be with who they want to hang out with (with limitations, of course), be responsible of their acts, be kind enough to show their love and care to their partners, be mindful of their acts and the life they live, considering the other person they’ve chosen to live with. Also, respect and trust needs an open ear, open eyes, open mind, and open heart. Both need no boundaries and conditions. And lastly, having these two, is learning to live a life together, separately. They do make sense, yes.
3. Understanding
Imagine living a life where you wake up and sleep in a day, with a smile in your face, and in your heart. Great, right? Include taking all your worries, doubts, jealousies and insecurities, happy? Think about how amazing the power of understanding can be. It gives you comfort, peace, and stability. It provides you assurance that you need in order to cope with the day. Amazing, though, how the equation of love and respect could result to understanding. When you are equipped with your partner’s love, and armored it with respect and trust, you’re good to go and good to last.
Understand that we have differences and similarities. Your partner is a separate entity, but you share common asset and interest – your relationship. Understand that your relationship exists because of your love to each other and your goals with each other. Both of you are bound to happen, and meant to happen.
At the end of the day, what matters most is that you have each other. May it be far or near, as long as you both share the love that keeps the fire burning, you win. Others may find these factors unnecessary, but they are important factors to consider. We are not perfect, accept it. If they hit you, swallow it. If not, try to evaluate. Enter when you think it’s right, vacate if not. Loving, is not a waste of time, it turns time. There’s no harm in trying. Sometimes, not trying causes harm too. Remember, though, that you also need to apply these factors to the relationship you have with your self and the people around you. In order to love others, you must love your self first, so as respect, trust, and understanding. May this be a reminder to us all.
– Christy S. ♥
Of Wanders and Scribbles... 