Open A Window

Wow…I haven’t posted in awhile. I also have not stopped by other blogs for awhile.

Nothing is wrong. I got busy. And I know that has been my excuse in the past. But I really did get busy. So many things have happened. I’ve been on a few dates. Most did not work out. I didn’t feel it, they didn’t feel it. They found better connections. Etc etc.

Dating is difficult now a days. Especially when you are in your 50’s. Many of the profiles in my age group state from the start “usually date younger, but hit me up, we may work out”. I do not “hit them up”. I have a feeling that most people in my age range, do want someone in their 20s, 30s or 40s. That’s alright. I would rather however date someone in my age group. I think it is easier. Musical, sit-com and movie references don’t have to be explained.

I’m also at a point in my life where I would rather watch a movie, or just go out to dinner, without having to go to a bar afterwards. I’d rather sit on the couch and watch a streaming show or just talk. Maybe that is why no one swipes right, because I am that boring person.

None the less. My life was boring. But as I reflect on this year, boring was good.

I learned a new word today…doxing.

This weekend during a football game, an over zealous fan verbally attacked another fan. The male used some aggressive language which were not merited for a football game. A football game!!

Anyhoo, the incident was filmed. The video went viral and people identified the man and then published his place of work and some other information about him. Therefore they doxxed him.

The words he used were horrible. The team this man was rooting for banned him from future games. I believe there will be an investigation into his behavior (and not during work time). I agree that work places have a certain reputation to uphold. This man should not have acted so inappropriately. So I have mixed feelings about the doxing.

It really was horrible what he said to this fan, who was minding her own business. She didn’t reply (or at least I didn’t see her reply). One of the things he said was she was ugly. Someone’s looks have nothing to do with who they root for. I won’t use the other words which would make any proper lady clutch their pearls.

I watched the video once cause I could not bear to watch it again.

I have often been privy to much different conversations now versus several years ago. Several of you have written that people are emboldened to say what they feel like saying out loud, without consequence.

One of my friends recently posted a meme that infuriated him. The meme was a black square with the letters LGB in white letters. The person then explained that since the other letters were added, the Lesbian, Gay and Bi-Sexual community was once again a target for hatred. He stated that we had come so far, until we added the other letters. My friend then added that he blocked the owner of that meme from not only his social media, but from his social calendar and phone as well.

I grew up with all the letters LGBTQ. I don’t remember otherwise. So we have always been one community.

I don’t understand the division, within our own community.

This year has gone by so quickly.

I’m back on the dating apps. I chat with some people, but I don’t think any of the chatting is going anywhere. There is one guy I chat with a lot, but the more I get to know him, the more I think we will go to friend’s zone.

I learned today that stuffing is called stuffing when it baked inside the turkey. When it is cooked outside the turkey it’s called dressing. My favorite is Stove Top dressing. Someone told me that chances are you could get salmonella from stuffing (cause the juices of the bird drip down into it and so the center of the stuffing may contain uncooked turkey juices that contain salmonella). Is that just an urban legend, cause I have never heard of people getting sick that way.

I am not a fan of turkey—unless it’s a sandwich. But big chunks of it are not something I choose to eat. I like the sides more than I like the actual meat. I could eat a ton of dressing, lots of gravy and green bean casserole.

Have fun, whatever you do tomorrow!

I have been told by a few who stop by that my blog is considered not safe.

I am not sure how to fix this.

If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. I swear there are no viruses in my blog.

I got back on the apps. Other than chatting with people, not much has happened.

I did go on one date. I thought it went well. He insisted on appetizers, a meal, sharing dessert and then coffee. He asked me to show him around town, so we walked through it. He drove to my side of town. I texted him good night. He replied good night. I texted him good morning…no reply. I texted him good afternoon…no reply. And he’s been radio silent since. Much like I have when it comes to blogging.

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner. I’m also looking forward to the holidays. I’m not sure why I’m looking forward to them, I just am. I won’t be alone. I have my family and friends. And for right now, that’s enough.

The song has been playing in my mind lately.

It is suddenly August.

It’s been a couple months since I broke up with the guy I met on the apps. We dated for over a year. The whole time we were together I kept thinking, I would fall in love. But it didn’t happen. The companionship was nice. We had some things in common. We had some less in common. He was extremely attentive. He put me on a pedestal. He was compassionate and passionate But it just wasn’t happening for me. I thought of him as more than a friend, less than a boyfriend.

He started the ball rolling on the breakup. He asked if I felt the same way for him that he did for me. He said he was in love. He said I never told him I loved him when he would say he loved me. I don’t remember him saying it. Maybe I didn’t hear it? And when asked, I couldn’t lie.

I have never broke anyone’s heart. He told me I would be a difficult act to follow.

Switching to a different song now..”the sun still shines, the sun still sets and the heart forgives, the heart forgets…but what will I do now with al this time”? I hope he has forgiven me.

Happy New Year everyone!!!

I haven’t written in awhile. It’s mostly because I find my life humdrum. Nothing really exciting to write about.

I am still seeing the same person that I’m not in love with. I am having a lot of fun. A lot of fun. The sex is magnificent. But I don’t feel the butterflies and the fast heartbeat that happened with my late partner. The first date with the late partner had me on cloud 9. I wanted a second, third, fourth, fifth (and so on) date. With my phone buzzed with a text, I was hoping it was him. He was one of the first dates that I gave a personal text tone to, so that I would know that the text was from him.

I am still enjoying work. I love what I do and although I don’t like the thought of having to work in general, I like going to the office. I have been given the option of working hybrid and working from home. But I like going in. I like seeing the other employees as well as my department colleagues. I don’t mind the drive to and from the hospital. I don’t even mind having to occasionally eat in the “healthy” cafeteria.

It’s autumn now and I’m enjoying the temperatures that this season brings with it. The gorgeous change in the leaves. I live in a condo, so the HOA takes care of raking (except for my small fenced in patio area).

My fur babies are doing well. One them had to have some teeth extracted. But that went well, and they are now back to their usual self. I thought the change in personality was age driven, as they are now entering their twilight years, but now I realize it was probably the pain associated with the infected tooth. Anyhow, they are happy and playful again.

Friends have moved closer to my neighborhood, so I can pop in and see them anytime. In fact we just had a delicious dinner together.

Oh and my favorite candle store had a sale. I am stocked for a bit–both to make my home smell nice and also in case of a blackout.

It’s just a silly phase I’m going thru….

Is it a silly phase? I don’t really have feelings for this person. I like spending time with him. I like spending a few nights with him–here and there. I’m quite happy that our schedules don’t allow for more than a few nights a month. I like that there is some distance (about an hour and half drive).

When I met my partner years ago, I knew on the literal third date that he was the one. I would get butterflies whenever I heard his voice. I couldn’t wait for him to call or text. Even after a few years together, I still got butterflies. I would get giddy when he texted spontaneously throughout the day.

Even after he passed away, the memory of his laugh could make me smile. I still can imagine his scent, and even the scent of his smelly feet after he took off his Crocs after walking our dog (and it never bothered me).

So I don’t think this new guy is the one. I enjoy the company. I enjoy the nights under the covers. I am not sure I would enjoy this for the long term.

There is a but. I would like to remain friends when the sheets get cold or I no longer want him to spend the night. And I hope that will be the case…that the friendship would remain.