If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it 100 times: We do honest book reviews here. If we love your book, we say so. If we hate your book, we say so. We have like, standards. And every once in awhile we come across a “book” that’s so bad, so supremely cringeworthy, so genuinely awful, it’s enough to make our hair ache. We let you know about said stinkers so’s you don’t waste your time on them.
Kimber: Consider it a Public Service Announcement.
Search for a Stone Cold Killer by “Professor” Alan Dale Dickinson is the worst book we’ve read in recent memory. Yea, verily. If Eau de Skunk was an Olympic sport, this stinker would bring home gold. Here’s why (the short version):
Kimber here. Telling you about my new bestie, Sunny the Amazing Golden Retriever. She’s beautiful. Brave. Brilliant. Clever and resourceful. Did I mention we’re twins?
Yes siree, Lassie! Sunny is one sharp doggie. (Almost as sharp as me. Almost.) Ya see, Sunny’s a Coast Guard explosives detection dog! You get to meet Sunny and her hooman, USCG Officer Thomas, in Janet Bell’s splendiferous new book for the little’uns, Sunny the Coast Guard Dog’s Dynamite Adventure.
Buckle up!
The 4-1-1
Sunny lives in animal shelter until she’s adopted by a little boy named Jamie. Jamie’s mom, Officer Thomas, works at the Coast Guard station. Sunny wants to work, too. Turns out Sunny has a knack for “nose work.” Sunny is trained to sniff out explosives. And she’s pretty darn good at it! Through all the training, Sunny is treated with kindness, patience and positive reinforcement as she learns to be a “dog detective.” Her superpower is her nose. And riding in helicopters! Oh yeah.
It takes patience, determination abd courage to master new skills and discover her talent for sniffing out explosives. But Sunny has the heart of a champion and rises to the challenge of protecting others.
Mom: Kinda reminds me of another sweet furry face we all know and love.
Then some bad guys try to escape Officer Thomas. But there’s no escaping Sunny’s incredible nose! Kimber: “Prepare to be boarded” is something you sooo do not want to hear from the USCG if you’re up to no good. Just sayin’.
Talk about a fun book! Sunny has it all: Action. Adventure. Brisk pacing. Bright, vivid illustrations that practically leap off the page. An engaging, intriguing story that’ll grab you from the Intro and not let go until the end. It includes fascinating information about how explosive detection dogs and their hoomans train. And of course, our heroine: Sunny the Coast Guard dog. She’s smart. She’s savvy. She’s PAWsome.
Kimber: No doubt we’re related.
We loved this book! Inspiring and entertaining, Sunny is also educational without feeling like school. This book will certainly appeal to young children and those who love them. It would make a welcome addition to any home or classroom library.
Naw. You don’t have to send your submission beautifully wrapped with a personalized, handwritten note. But it doesn’t hurt 😉🐾
Note: One of us wasn’t feeling so great when this book arrived in the mail. We waited awhile to open it. And guess what? Reading this beautifully illustrated, eminently engaging story brightened our day right away. We loved it! You will, too. Besides. Who can resist that cover art?
You know it’s a merry new year because I, Kimber the Magnificent, say so.
And cuz its’ January 1 and we kinda missed Christmas this year. More on that in a min. So kindly keep your hair on, Cupcake.
Being all brilliant and everything.
Where was I? Oh yeah. I have some other things to say as we ring in the new year. (No idea what that means. But Mom seems to like it. So I do, too.)
Speaking of The Ole Curmudgeon, we thought the new year would be a good time for an update. Cuz we’ve been away from the blog since October. We’ve been away so long, in fact, that one of us forgot her login credentials. Not to fret. Being all brilliant and everything, I fixed that!
Anyway, this is the part where you read or re-read our October 1 post. If you haven’t read that yet or forgot it, now would be good. Otherwise this post won’t make any sense.
Hark! Tis I, Kimber the Magnificent. Being all brilliant and beautiful and everything. With an important FYI about The ‘Ole Curmudgeon. You know it’s important cuz I say it is. So, I’d listen up ‘fize you, Cookie. Here it is:
Her Royal Momness, aka: The ‘Ole Curmudgeon, Her Royal Crankiness, She Who Must Be Obeyed, was diagnosed with a “chronic, progressive disease” in August. (Not cancer).
There is no cure. They can slow the disease progression. Possibly arrest it.
Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Kimber: Dontcha hate it when you’re late to an appointment cuz you were so absorbed in a good book, you lost track of time? (Hi, Mom.) That’s what happened when Mom started reading E.C. Watt’s debut novel, The Witch of Flickerwood. It grabbed us in chapter one. Reeled us in hook, line, and kibble. Short version:
Addy Warner once dreamed of being a detective. But the 20-year-old sophomore is pursuing a degree in Ecology at a small college in Pennsylvania. The school has a past. A haunting, creepy past. Because there’s clearly more to the town of Flickerwood than meets the eye. In fact, a double murder may be just the tip of the iceberg…
I’ll let Her Royal Momness fill ya in on the longer version (before she’s late to the next appointment!):
Kimber here. Telling you about a very cool new book Her Royal Momness just read. (Well, it was mostly me. Mom helped. A little.)
First off, take a look at this cover. (That’s okay. I’ll wait.) Cuteness Alert! Well. Not as cute as me, ‘natch. But let’s not get picky here, okay?
Co-written by cancer survivor Dr. Kelly Curtin and her daughter Molly Hallinan, Molly and Potato is a book for the little ‘uns. It offers comfort. Connection. And canine companionship to families facing adversity and loss. I’m all over that “canine companionship” thing. But I’ll let She Who Must Be Obeyed fill ya in:
Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.
Let’s just cut to the chase here, shall we? This book was a big disappointment. As in, Ugh! We had high hopes for Unbroken Bones. Overwritten, overlong and overdone, this book was a big disappointment.
To wit:
The story is told through the eyes of its three main characters: Natasha Cunningham, John, and Matthias the angel.
Natasha is a high school student interested in paleontology. Her mom Valerie could give the Polar Ice Caps a run for its money in the familial warmth department. Natasha finds a map in her grandmother’s Bible. With it, Natasha begins to unravel a family secret that holds the key to a major mystery.
John is Natasha’s project partner. He dislikes his competitive classmate and would rather ignore her. John has a prickly, irascible exterior to hide abuse from his alcoholic father. John is interning at the Natural History Museum. His supervisor is George. Who’s kind of a jerk. To put it charitably.
John and Natasha cross paths early on. Not so with Matthias.
Matthias is an angel whose alleged mission is to guard, protect and defend fallen humans. Think Clarence Oddbody, A.S. II. Only younger. We’re more than halfway through the book before Matthias does much of anything besides gawk and wonder and “Golly gee.” Think Gomer Pyle. It takes way too long for him to intersect with the kids. By then, we’ve lost interest.
There’s also Dr. Vanessa Cunningham, Natasha’s beloved grandmother. Grandma was a devout Christian and highly esteemed beloved scientist/researcher. A friend and colleague of Natasha’s scientist mentor, Dr. Betsy, Dr. Cunningham was killed in a tragic car accident.
Kimber the Magnificent
Or was it? An accident, that is. Like, what exactly was Dr. Cunningham working on? What did she discover? Did it get her killed? How? Why? Who? And what’s going on at Kennington Park?
There’s also “Old Ben.” Not a person. In case you’re wondering. Double chocolate mint ice cream. And a foot race between the Creator and Abner. Dreams. And… twins?
We loved the emphasis on education and staying in school a la John’s high school graduation in chapter 17. We did not love the pacing, which is right out of Slugville. The story itself could benefit from a case of Slim Fast.
So while the story is imaginative and creative and the writing is good, it just didn’t keep our interest. It’s hamstrung by uneven pacing and brittle characterizations. Like John’s dad, Kevin. We get it that Kevin is an abusive alcoholic. No need to beat us over the head with it – to the point of a caricatured cartoon. And the bones thing? It doesn’t really put in an appearance until chapter 21. Whether or not readers will stick around that long is open to question
Additionally, some readers may find the text preachy in places. That may be a turn-off. Like Pastor Anderson’s sermon in chapter 9. And the curious exegesis of the Old Testament story of Rahab. (Kimber: Guess what, Buttercup? Some of us can find the books of Joshua and Hebrews unaided. Oh yeah.)
There’s also the odd word choice/typo that pops up occasionally. Example: “… the idea that she might actually become his stepmother always drudged up feelings of anger within him” (p. 70). Or “Her mother had been too upset with her come” (p.166.)
We had to take a break from reading this book. It’s slow out of the gate. The first nine or ten chapters feel “boggy.” Like the author tried to cram in every conceivable detail under the sun in less than 100 pages.
Came back to it later, hoping it’d get better. Leaner. More mature. It picks up, yes. But not enough to rise to the level of “captivating.”
So again, we had high hopes for this book. It has This Present Darkness-ish potential with Matthias. (Kimber: We like, Totally Love-ify Frank Peretti!). But this character gets lost in the weeds.
Our biggest beef with this book? It just tries too hard. It can’t seem to decide what it wants to be: Fiction, social commentary, or homily? So it falls short in all three. Another problem is basic structure and mixed POVs. For instance, Natasha and John are third person. Matthias is first person. The inconsistency is jarring and doesn’t really work.
Bottom line: We could not force ourselves to finish this book. Frankly, we shouldn’t have to. We bailed out about page 230. (Kimber: That’s considerably more pages than most books get. In case you’re wondering, Cupcake.) So we won’t be rating this book. We will, however, be reaching for the Advil.
It’s been forever since we did a Fine Wine Friday post. So here ya go. No extra charge:
***
“Alright Kimber. Step away from the Narrative Non-Fiction (NNF) book stash and I’ll forget all about the incident with that double cheeseburger.”
“Drat! I was kinda hoping Mom already forgot about that. But anyway, you’re probably asking, What’s ‘narrative non-fiction’ and why should I care?”
Bet this tastes great if I can ever get it off the fence!
Glad you asked. Basically, narrative non-fiction is non-fiction that reads like a novel instead of a dry-as-burnt-toast textbook. Or War and Peace. ( Mom said I oughtta throw in that last one.)
Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Can a faded Polaroid and an inconspicuous thumb drive untangle a sophisticated web of deceit and corruption that spans centuries, continents, and the highest corridors of political power? And what about the shadowy organized crime ring known as the Saffron Veil, where “entrap, entangle, and extract” is the name of the game?
And the Veil is good at it.
So good, in fact, that when nineteen-year-old Maria Hernandez leaves El Salvador to pursue her dreams of Hollywood stardom, she falls prey to cut-throat coyotes – owned and operated by the Veil – who smuggle her across the border. But Maria never makes it to Tinseltown. She winds up in a California mansion, a victim of human trafficking. Pregnant, Maria escapes with a dangerous secret. She’s pursued by the powerful Senator Edward Grayson. (Kimber: This guy makes pond scum look good.)
I don’t know about your neck of the dog run, but here in the Northwest it’s been pouring rain for so long, I may be sprouting gills.
Not that I mind, mind you. Mom says this is great reading weather. Something about curling up by the fire with a good book. I don’t really get it. I just like sitting in her lap while she turns pages. And tells me what a “good dog” I am.
As if I didn’t know that already.
Anyway, here are 10+ top picks fur wet weather. (That’s not a typo.) These books are brisk and engaging. With good solid story lines. Lots of adventure. As much “flavor” and “texture” as those beef broth and steak treat thingies Mom makes. And of course sparkling canine personalities. Like mine. You’ll enjoy these even if you’re a feline fan. (Yech! Can’t believe I just said that.):
2. Dog On It: A Chet and Bernie Mystery– Spencer Quinn. (Told from the dog’s point of view) A good ‘ole fashioned “whodunit” mystery with a dog who’s way smarter than Bernie, his crime-solving human. Laugh out loud funny in places.
3. Where the Red Fern Grows – Wilson Rawls. Old Dan. Li’l Ann. A young boy growing up in the Ozarks and sacrificial love. Bring tissue.
5. The Empty City (Survivors #1) – Erin Hunter. Lucky is a golden-haired mutt with a nose for survival. He’s always been a loner, relying on his instincts to get by. Then the Big Growl strikes. Suddenly the ground is split wide open. The Trap House is destroyed. And all the longpaws have disappeared. Is it time to find a Pack?
6. The Journey Back – Priscilla Cummings. #2 in the Red Kayak series. Not strictly a dog book. But Digger’s daring escape from a juvenile detention facility includes hijacking a tractor trailer, “borrowing” a bicycle, stealing a canoe, and befriending a stray mutt who becomes Digger’s best friend.
7. Puppies, Dogs, and Blue Northers – Gary Paulsen. Minnesota author and dog musher Gary Paulsen reflects on the growth of his sled dogs as he and his animals discover the world around them.
An abandoned, half-feral border collie reluctantly taken in by author Jon Katz, Izzy becomes a hospice dog. Somehow Izzy learns what can’t be taught: how to help the dying leave this world with dignity – “Oh! A dog! Where on earth did you come from, you handsome thing?” – and how to best comfort those left behind.
Lenore – from the Edgar Allen Poe poem – is a “portable happiness generator.” “The UPS driver threatened to steal her,” says Katz. Big hearted and good natured, Lenore can pierce the armor of the hardest heart. As Katz battles a deep depression and phantoms from his past, the rambunctious Lab pup gently reminds him why he wanted to work with animals in the first place.
Set in first century Jerusalem, The Dog Who Was There is a heart-warming, surprising story about a little dog, Barley (that’s not a typo), and a Teacher from Galilee. This wonderful story is soaked in loss, loyalty, sadness, promise, and Great Joy. I’ve never read anything quite like it. You won’t want to miss this one.
Pages & Paws 