Locked out

KNNBMCH. I'm locked out of my Facebook.

Sigh. I should have listened to my own advice. Never make an important decision when tired, like changing your password, especially with a 12-digit number while on layover at a busy airport like Hong Kong. What was I thinking.

In the midst of changing the password, I got distracted with ordering dinner. Tak sempat nak write it down yet and by the time I had a pen in my hand, my short term memory had gone blank and I couldn't remember some of the digits in the sequence.

Facebook tried to get me to use photo tag recall for password recovery after that. Jeez, seriously, how many of us mortals can remember who we tagged objects with when we were half drunk months ago? So that went well... not. None of the other memorized info challenges worked either. My fault for being too lazy to give complete info during registration. My give up.

Never mind....

Anyways I'm still groggy with jet lag. Had a few serious conversations with myself during the flight. I think I need to find a quiet place and seriously reconsider my investment portfolio in the East. I didn't like the signals I saw. Planning to speak to a few people here so I'll probably be staying longer than planned. Perhaps its not such a bad thing as it'll give my sister a chance to get used to looking after mum and dad for longer stretches than a weekend.

Here's my formula for happiness. What's yours?

~

Ignore the bad things that you find depressing. Just focus on the good.

~

Does that describe you? If it does, good. You have most of humanity on your side.

That happiness still eludes you despite ignoring the bad things probably didn't escape you either I'm sure.

Yea everybody who ignores the bad looks happy for a while. Soon enough they become like any other dissatisfied ranter on facebook, twitter and myspace. They can tell you exactly what they're unhappy about. Turns out they're very aware of what's going on all along. Well, so much for taking their own advice to ignore bad things.

It took me a while to understand that when people say ignore, what they really mean is repress and if I know dumspters, I know you can only press in so much.

No wonder polite ladies and gentlemen erupt into raging fits when they can't fit any more in.

This is something I've thought about for years but at this moment, if I could squeeze my formula for happiness into one line, it would be this.

~
Understanding is happiness.
~

Let me qualify that a bit so stay with me here.

First let me illustrate how understanding works. When we understand that there's no such things as ghosts or evil curses, through our knowledge of physics, chemistry and stuff, we stop being afraid of them. In fact we laugh at the very idea. That is what understanding does. It shines a powerful light onto our dark fears and reveals them for what they are.

Now what's stopping you from shining the same light on every nonsense that hits you, from useless traditions to silly political news? Yes, your stress would evaporate or at the very least, shrink to half its usual size. You can finally laugh when everyone's having a fit. Wouldn't you be happier becoz of it?

You have to appreciate that to understand, you can't cherry-pick only the realities you like and pretend the rest don't exist becoz let's face it, you can't choose what hits you. But you can learn the skill of taking each nonsense by the horns and busting it through critical examination so it won't ever trip you up again.

I have even suspected that might be the purpose of our brains.

When we understand, we're enlightened. When we're enlightened, we walk steady in the storm. Nothing shakes us.

But as to how we went from "lets get enlightened" to "lets ignore the problem so that we would be happy and problem-free," I have no idea.

Now, we all love shortcuts and I wanna talk about this instant-noodle method of achieving happiness through wisdom-quote programming.

We seem to have this idea that the secret of happiness lies somewhere in those wisdoms. We believe the conclusions of Voltaire, Nietzche, Confucius to be absolute and if they say can means can, cannot means cannot.

I don't buy that. The invention of the Internet itself is enough for me to take Plato's and Socrates' truths about man with a grain of salt. One fact about us is we don't stagnate. We evolve, and it is precisely becoz we evolve that we need to critically look at everything again, especially if those ideas were cast in a different age. Otherwise we risk running into 2,000 year old brick walls. (Child brides and honour killings come to mind.)

But there's a problem. We're lazy. Too lazy to think, to ponder, to test wisdoms. We believe no more new realizations are possible, and that everything worth understanding is already revealed to us through those wisdoms. Just follow them lah.
 
So armed with all the motivational quotes we found we should be happy. Right?

Wrong. In truth we're more like the donkey that carried the holy scriptures.

Hey I got bags of wisdoms. I'm happy!

The fact that our troubles and our anger haven't left us makes it self-evident that those quotes are worth jack.

Sure we can argue that its the person's fault, not the wisdom's but seriously, does it matter? If so little of humanity can extract enough good from it to make a difference, doesn't it make you wonder if revealed truths actually work for our species?

Now there's nothing wrong with indulging in second-hand wisdom if it can help us find our own wisdom, those personally discovered truths that are so necessary in our journey to finding understanding and happiness.

Two things I'll say about discovered truths. First, if you're lazy, forget it. This journey requires you to think and meditate on issues, study new things and worse, change mindsets. Second, discovered truths don't negate second hand truths. Well, not always. They just give us a chance to test them for validity. However, if releasing your happiness from the clutches of fear is your priority, revealed truth is a poor substitute for discovered truth. Simply put, you can watch Oprah all you like but it ain't getting you anywhere if you refuse to walk through the fire.

That is why I don't think you can find lasting happiness by being lazy or being voluntarily ignorant but then again, that's just me.

Migrating

Whenever people tell me that those who migrate are an ungrateful lot, I always ask them this question.

When a beautiful girl you don't give a shit about leaves you for someone else, why do you call her a bitch?

I usually get no response.

Anyway, when it comes to the subject of migration I'm old school, if you could call the motivations of Marco Polo (1271), Christopher Columbus (1492) and John Cabot (1497) old school.

Old school means believing that if there are opportunities for a better life out there, go! Just don't kill the natives when you get there. And may the force be with you.

I admit I've never understood the fuss about cherishing your fatherland or your motherland but maybe that's because I think like a bird. I see the whole goddamn planet as my house, not just that tree in rural Johore. I should be able to fly and sleep anywhere I please.

Home

Patriotism? Pffft.

Patriotism is for romantics. I can see why some people are attached to identity that's behind patriotism but identity gives me a headache. What's your name? Which country are you from? What's your religion?

Wait... why is this any of your business again?

How does knowing that I'm Mr. A from country B of race C and religion D tell you if I'm worthy? You only ask me so that you can fit me into your mental pigeonhole so that you can treat me the way you think people of my profile deserve. Right?

Gratitude? Yes I am grateful, but not just to you. To the whole world. Actually more to the whole world. You see, I'm just like you. The gadgets I use, the books I read, the movies I watch and stuff, they're mostly made overseas. I owe them all my gratitude so whatever stuff I consume, I show it by paying for those things, sometimes in ridiculously inflated amounts that make wealthier foreigners cough and spit out their coffee.

But that's okay. Its a willing exhange. You give me something, I pay for it, we owe nothing more to each other, we both happy. I also paid income tax which paid the salaries of a number of government servants for a few years. And then you should see how much I gave to charity. Rumah kanak-kanak cacat, orang buta, orang tua, and orang kaya. I even helped clean many a longkang in the neighborhood. So yes I helped spread joy to others in my own time out of my own free will. Is there something else in the gratitude department that I missed?

Know what? Actually I am proud to have explorer blood running in me. My late grandpa used to tell me his father was a ship's hand. We actually didn't know very much about him, not even where he was buried but one thing's for sure. He wasn't from around here.

Grandpa is that you?

Yes, migration is in my blood and unless you're an Orang Asli, you are a descendent of migrants too. Now aren't you glad your ancestors didn't listen to those rants about patriotism and ungratefulness during their time? Because if they did, where would you be?

That is why I've got two words about migration. Actually three. Big.effing.deal. If you are upset that the beautiful girl is leaving you, instead of calling her names, how about asking yourself why she left you? You might actually learn something.

Can ordinary Malaysians live up to their own demands of others?

This is a continuation of my thoughts on the topic on Facebook.

A little self critique is therapeutical every now and then so I won't mince my words. Many of us are hypocrites, myself included. There I said it.

While not forgetting that we are nice people with big hearts, we try to bribe our way out of trouble while protesting corruption.

We buy skin whitening creams while protesting racism.

We enjoy unfair business arrangements while protesting cronyism.

We take people's money under false pretences while protesting theft from the national coffers.

In our defense, we say aiyah we are small potatoes lar. Give or take a few dollars what's the problem? But those leaders, they are taking millions! How can?? They are supposed to set an example!!

Right, so we've made our principles elastic, like a rubber band, to be stretched whenever it suits us. We defend it becoz that's how we've survived. Who plays fair anyway and everyone knows the best way to beat a thief is to be a better thief, which is okay if its our own asses that we're saving. In fact, you'd be stupid not to.

So now do you know why I sometimes find it comical to see all the outrage against corruption, cronyism and racism among civil society people?

How not to laugh when the same people who scream bapok and pondan at our infamous ministers also lament the discrimination against gays and transexuals? Wakakaka.

How not to laugh when the same people who say woi mamak kutty, balik Kerala lah on FB also appear in threads lamenting racism in our schools? Wakakaka.

Do Malaysians actually have principles? Of course we do, but do we actually believe in them? Or are we more like the famous donkey that carried holy scriptures on its back?

Yup, its still a donkey.

This guy says it better than I ever can:

The first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself. Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, and humility.

~Nelson Mandela~

Thanks to FB friend Stephen Felix Grosse for digging out this wonderful quote!

I am back

Sorry if anyone had missed me here. I've neglected this blog far too long. People do that when they get sucked into Facebook I guess. I hear some don't come back.

But I'm back and to shock myself awake I decided to paint this blog pink. Dowan to be so serious lah. Hehe.

I am on the road so to speak... in Taipei as I write this. Tomorrow its off to Seoul and then a week after, London. I promise myself to try & write my longer thoughts here as they arise.

Meanwhile if you are on FB, do look me up at www.facebook.com/johan.t.harris

Have a great day guys! :D

Machiavellian Soup

In a previous post Stealing from a Thief, I expressed my alarm about a lot of loose talk openly encouraging people to deceive by taking money from a party under the pretext of voting for them in a by election. People were then urged to renege on that promise and keep the money, supposedly to teach a lesson that bribery doesn't pay.

To justify the act, some declared the money legal, halal, etc. Clearly people saw nothing wrong in obtaining a personal benefit from a deliberate act of deceit.

In what I think describes the situation fairly, here's what Answers.com has to say about the word Machiavellian:

adj.

   1. Of or relating to Machiavelli or Machiavellianism.
   2. Suggestive of or characterized by expediency, deceit, and cunning.

This word is often reserved for despots and tyrants who use any means to stay in power, including trickery and dishonesty. It is also emblematic of a situation where the end justifies the means.

Its not a word decent law-abiding people want to use to describe themselves.

And how our actions speak louder than words.

I'm sure you've heard all the slogans before. Keep Putrajaya at all costs! Take Putrajaya by hook or by crook! These shouts ring equally loudly on both sides of the political divide.

But hang on a minute. At all costs? By hook or by crook? I was glad when RPK came out with his recent article "The ends can't justify the means," relieved that one voice is making sense amid this cacophony.

RPK's lament was hoisted against a political landscape, about politicians and their supporters who seem hell bent on doing anything, including sacrificing their ethics and morals to get what they want. I must state that I agree with RPK's arguments 100%.

But what he didn't mention was how deep this attitude goes and for that, I think many people will miss his point about the need to fight the good fight ethically.

Perhaps we should first recollect how we got here. We are a land of immigrants. A few came here as wealthy traders or hired labourers but for the most part, many of us are descendants of refugees. In the hurried escape from disaster, war and famine, our forefathers and foremothers crammed into tight boats to set sail into the unknown with only the clothes on their backs and a few precious heirlooms. With little food to share, it was a fight to stay alive all the way. One does whatever it takes to get an advantage or an extra mouthful of food. Whatever regard one had for rules, morals and ethics probably took a back seat on that journey.

On land, life was hard too. The rules of survival didn't change much. Its watch your back, grab what you can and run faster than the next guy.

3-4 generations later, I see a society of descendants of immigrants driving nice cars, living in nice homes and using Blackberries but has the underlying refugee mentality really changed?

Rather than answer the question directly, allow me to point out some common examples in our everyday Malaysian life. At the train stations, witness the horde of people mow down disembarking people as they lunge into the train whose doors are just opening, the "Please Queue" sign all but ignored. On the streets, witness how people discretely look left and right for any signs of authority before they make an illegal turn or dash through the red traffic lights. At the buffet restaurants, witness how well-heeled people grab food like they hadn't eaten for a week, some unashamedly cutting queue and mowing down children and the elderly in the stampede. At the land office, witness how an applicant discretely offers money in an envelope in order to extract a favour.

I bet you none of these people would actually see anything offensive in their behaviour. Some actually think this is what competitiveness or being smart is about. We do whatever it takes to get what we want. We take when no one's looking. Might is right. Morals and ethics? Hello kawan, take off your rose tinted glasses lah. If we don't do it, the other guys will and then we'll lose out so let's not be naive.

This world view seems to have followed us from the refugee boats to our modern 21st century lifestyles and from the looks of it, its guiding us even in the way we choose our governments. The ends justifies the means. By hook or by crook. Morals and ethics? Hello kawan, take off your rose tinted glasses lah. If we don't do it, the other guys will and then we'll lose out so let's not be naive.

I think I've seen the beast and the beast is us. We love to talk about religion and God and morals and ethics but only when it suits us. Those things don't count when our survival is on the line or when we're really desperate for something, like a change in government. Or maybe we think we can count on God's grace to be forgiven. We've lived a hard life, we argue. We suffered long enough under a cruel government and if God really loves us and is as compassionate as people say, then surely He'll understand. Now where's that money I stole?

So the hard fact is, whatever illusions we may have had about decency and principles fly out the window the moment an opportunity stares at us in the face. We think nothing of stealing and knowingly riding on the back of dishonest men into power. When we turn complicit, we'll soon discover that we're really not that much different from petty thieves and con men. We share the same work ethic. They too had a hard life. They too are opportunists who are only being practical by not letting morals get in the way. They steal other thieves' money just like we do and use each other to advance their aims.

We become the thing we hate.

See the conundrum?

That is why like RPK, I disagree with the by-hook-or-by-crook philosophy. Sure we might win if we fight fire with fire but if we start a new dawn on an act of injustice or cruelty, then I think we'll put in motion a future that we will neither expect nor condone had we known, and we may never know what hit us when it does.

Which do you prefer, to die young or old?

If the title's a bit morbid, you can thank the new upcoming movie about Bruce Lee's short sweet life for prompting me.

I did ask this question to my friends many years back, which do you fear more, dying young or dying old?

If you're one of those that's not afraid of dying then just modify the question to which is more preferable to you, a long life or short life?

Bruce Lee was one of those talented people who died at the ripe young age of 32. A few other Hong Kong superstars during my time also died young. There was Anita Mui, 40, Danny Chan, 35, and Leslie Cheung, 47.

Yeah I listened to Canto pop when I was younger, thanks to my then girlfriend who hailed from Kowloon Tong.

All these stars died at the peak of their careers just when they had everything going for them. Well everyone has their problems, even they but I can't think of anyone who wouldn't trade the world to have these superstars' problems. I mean having all that money coming out of your ears. How much of a problem can that be?

Anyway when I lived in Singapore I hung out with a few friends from the showbiz industry. They weren't famous people or anything but they had plans and dreams nonetheless. There was a couple of upstart theater actors, a couple of budding singers and a band member. Among the things I remember was this one particular conversation we had at a bar late one night. I don't remember why but somehow the topic of longevity crept into our conversation. We started talking about lifespans - what we thought would be our own.

What struck me the most was how no one at the table wanted to live past 40.

It was as if there was a pact. Each would prefer to die at the peak of their career when they've got the most adoring fans, the most money, lived the happiest moments. That's when the lights can go out, they all agreed.

We were all laughing in between drinks then so I took it as a joke, right up to the death of Anita Mui and Leslie Cheung which brought me back to that night at the bar.

Now this biographical movie about Bruce Lee is doing the same thing.

I think generally, people prefer to go when they're feeling good about themselves, not when they're struggling with arthritis or a bad back or when they're pottering around with a walking stick. I learned about the traditional Chinese-Buddhist attitude about future lives, how if you end this life well, the next life will start well and if you end this life horribly, the next life will start horribly. A continuation of chapters if you will in a story that spans many lifetimes. Might that also lead people to this wish to "check out" at the peak of their lives?

But my friends were anything but traditional and I don't know if that's what prompted them to think that way but I did notice one thing. It was a common attitude among entertainers or at least, in people where beauty and youth appeal are important to self worth. Maybe people do believe there's nothing's sadder than a sad old queen. Its the ultimate entertainers' nightmare so its best to spare yourselves the misery and check out before you get to that stage.

By that yardstick, Anita Mui, Leslie Cheung and Bruce Lee died "perfect" deaths. They left at the height of their fame and left a legacy that is hard to beat even now.

And what about me? When would I like to die if I could somehow influence my natural lifespan?

At 50 going on 51, I would've already missed the boat on dying at my peak but then, it would depend on how I define peak wouldn't it?

I have no answer to that... yet. There are still things I want to achieve, not materially but spiritually. As skills go, I'm barely past beginner going by Anita Mui or Bruce Lee's standards. I don't know how long it'll take but if I can make that journey interesting enough, I know that chronological age wouldn't matter. That's the key I think... to make it interesting. As interesting as going on stage in front of a million adoring fans. :D