Jeff Strand

Hi! I’m Jeff Strand, Bram Stoker Award-winning (once) and Bram Stoker Award-losing (four times) author of about sixty books. I'm best known for horror/comedy. Why, some even say I’m the MASTER of horror/comedy, while others say “No, no, that’s Grady Hendrix or Joe Lansdale.” I used to be a promising young newcomer; now I've had people say they grew up reading my books. I don't need a walker yet...Sometimes my books are extremely dark and intense, like My Pretties, and other times I write stuff like the official novelization of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. I've written several books for kids, but this Patreon account will have F-bombs galore, so it's not for them. (If you're here as a fan of Bang Up, there will also be no smut. Sorry.)&nbsp;But, yeah, from splattery fun like Demonic, to fast-paced thrillers like The Odds, to tear-jerkers like Dweller, to the absurdity of Clowns Vs. Spiders ("I thought this book was going to suck but it totally didn't!" -- Most Amazon reviewers), I'm all over the place. Let's just go with "horror/comedy."&nbsp;For the past decade, about once a year I'd say "I should start a Patreon account!" and then I'd think, "Nah," but this year I broke the cycle by saying "YES!!!" So this is my Patreon. I hope it meets with your present needs.

Free

I'll do my best to entertain you! This tier gives you access to mostly daily (at least five times a week) posts. Movie/book discussion. Updates on works-in-progress. Essays. Ridiculous stuff. Whatever deranged nonsense spews out of my brain on any given day.

Entertain Me, Fool!

All of the content from the $3 tier, plus access to the weekly serialized chapters of Squeamish, beginning December 10th!

Dance, Monkey, Dance!

All of the content from the lower tiers. Plus a brand-new short story every month, exclusive to members! (At least until I've compiled enough of them to fill a book, but you get to read them first! You're better than everybody else!) Plus a monthly essay on writing (think of them as bonus chapters of my book The Writing Life: Reflections, Recollections, and a Lot of Cursing). And, OMG, you'll be thanked in the acknowledgements of all of my books!

At Least I'm Not Spending It On Drugs!

Whoa! Now we're at the "I send you stuff in the mail" tier. Yes, every quarter (after three consecutive months of subscribing at this level) you'll get a goodie box in the mail. What treasures will lurk inside? Signed paperback copies of every new book I publish. Fun swag. Maybe a T-shirt. Maybe an exclusive chapbook. (Each quarter, I'll contact you to ask how you'd like the books personalized, your T-shirt size if appropriate, etc.) Whatever it is, you'll open the box and go "Oooh!" in delight. Plus, of course, you get access to everything at the lower tiers.

This is Madness! What Am I Doing???

Whoa! This is cray! Obviously you get everything from the lower tiers, including the quarterly goodie box. And after twelve consecutive months at this tier, you get a one-of-a-kind short story chapbook starring YOU! I don't mean that I'll do some lazy crap where I just plug your name into a generic story--it'll be written about you, for you. The chapbook won't go on sale to the public...I'll have a copy, and you'll get a signed copy, and if you want to treasure your copy as one of only two in existence, so be it! Or you can order as many copies as you want at my cost (no markup) and give them to friends, family, and enemies who don't have a personalized Jeff Strand story. My test marketing research subjects said that nobody would pay $75 a month to get this chapbook at the end of the year, and you can prove them WRONG! Or RIGHT! We'll SEE!

Recent posts by Jeff Strand