No Work, All Play (NSFW)

| Portia Capelo

After many lean months I found employment as a maid of all work. Mrs Dour, the housekeeper who wore a heavy belt of fobs, sent me down to Miss Sour, the in-house seamstress. Instead of carefully altering my uniform she slapped in some double-edged tape. And then she slapped me. “Please ma’am,” I asked, “may I have some more nipple tape?” Miss Sour told me I’d have to earn it, starting with my first job to clean Bluebeard’s subterranean grotto, which he’d kindly left unlocked. Down and down I descended, feeling the humidity swell, but I found no metal pail, no mop, no detergent, no moss remover. I hardly knew where I was when I came to that night. Rising slowly off the roughly hewn damp stones, I realized that I was bound, too loosely, in a handspun-hemp karada that perfectly matched my dress, apron, and nipple tape (which was truly embarrassingly flimsy).

I received instructions by carrier pigeon to clean Bertha’s attic bathroom. I hardly knew where I was when I came to the next morning. My legs ached from my six-flight trudge up the not-to-code back stairs. I found no RubherMaid pail, no Swifter, no ScumScraper, no SilverFishnished, no NoiseNot headphones to dampen the captive’s screams. Rising slowly off the roughly planed unsealed planks, I realized that I was bound, too loosely, with hand-dyed satin ribbons that perfectly matched my dress, apron, and nipple tape (which was truly embarrassingly skimpy). I received instructions to shovel the driveway by pneumatic tube.

I knew exactly where I was when I came to around supper time. Pace Frost, it was easy to take the right road with GPS. I knew I’d never need a digital SnowScoot, not even in advance of the broken arm. Rising slowly off the roughly laid icy paving stones, I realized that I was bound, too loosely, in a hand-dyed-hemp karada that perfectly matched my recoloured dress, my apron, and probably my lost nipple tape (which had dried up and dropped off in the cold). Mrs Dour, Miss Sour, and the maids of all the work I’d been spared watched intently as I rubbed the adhesive residue from my nipples. I knew my months would never be lean again. And yet I felt compelled to beg. “Please ma’am,” I cried to all assembled, “may I have a happy knot?”

Credits 

Outfit

MIWAS + Shibari maid Dress #FATPACK – Reborn (On the downside, you can only buy the flatpack. On the upside, it’s endlessly fun to mix the colors on a half dozen elements of the costume.) 

Mad’ – FREE Pasties [HD] [TINTABLE] (check store)

Face

MUDSKIN – Kong – A – NB – FROST

Gloom – Siouxsie Addon : Tired Liner and Round Blush

SSD. Ophelia – beauty marks

rotten {crybaby brows: default} honeyed milk . 04 [B]

Hair

AMBAR BEAUTY – WINSLIE HAIRBASE – BLACK HIGHLIGHT

Accessories

AFFLICTSINS – “Tormented” Corset Piercing eBODY v1

PROMAGIC Swarna Earrings

Random Matter – Hanako Glasses (Group Gift)

UKIYO : maeve claws [ebody reborn]

::Axix:: Kitty Gag Night Black (olde)

Body

MUDSKIN – Nayeon – shape  – Ceylon (my edit)

LeLutka, Ceylon head

REBORN by eBODY v1.69.4

#ADORED – puffy turbo nipples – 01/warm [maitreya] (not available)

Ladybird. // Charlie (Hickies and Bites)

All the Poses are edited

Stormy Weather…

| Portia Capelo

…but these blues aren’t about a lover. 2026 could be our year. Not theirs.

Also, may there be argyle?

Credits Look One

Fifteen years ago, Zib Scaggs was one of the first creators who asked me to blog their work. I remain grateful and empowered. Visit Zibska’s fifteenth anniversary half-off sale until January 4th.

Zibska, Marthe headpiece

Zibska, Sisi Makeup 02 and Sisi Lips 08 (you picked up this gift at Shop and Hop—might be in the mainstore)

IDK where that gold lip came from.

:Dernier: “Gwen” Hooded Blazer – Pink (ER)

Kibitz – Bling choker – feminist white – gold (an old gacha methinks)

FaeTal – Anica – LeLutka Human Female (a 2025 fave)

THIS IS WRONG Elin skin – blush NB (a 2025 fave) (Elin is no longer available in-store and recent skins aren’t this edgy. I haz yet another sad.)

.e l e i. – Dul (Eyebrows) (there are two halves to colour to your eyes’ content)

SLAY. – “Bosset Fingerwaves” / Black [E] (a 2025 fave)

/ HEAD / lel EvoX BRIANNON 3.1 (don’t be lazy like me—get the update through the HUD)

REBORN by eBODY v2.0 (a recent update, sent automatically)

THIS IS WRONG Elin shape (Legacy) my edit

Credits Look Two

V.F Melia  Shirt Reborn Waifu

V.F Melia  Skirt Reborn

Pure Poison – Alexa Boots – eBody* (colour change and they can be transparent)

SSD. Ophelia Skin – Frost (Velour IPANEMA & VENUS) with makeup and shape I edited a bit (I think this was a 50L F Halloween special)

Jack Spoon. Flapper Kit 01 (Shadow 3/tinted) EvoX

Jack Spoon. Flapper Kit 01 (Silk patch 2) EvoX

[theSkinnery] Liner Set (LeLutkaEvoX) 3

Marsh – Sheila Eyebrow (Tintable)

. AW . Maybe tomorrow, she said – blonde 02

FaeTal – Kamiko – LeLutka Human Female

Le Forme, Bento Nails M01 DKNight Reborn

/ HEAD / LeL EvoX / AVALON Lite

REBORN by eBODY v1.69.6

REIGN.- SPELL BOOK (ANIMATED)- TOUCH FOR MAGIC (olde item)

I have been using the Poser so I can’t tell you how to buy that head angle already angled.

Billie Holiday’s version

The Day After

| Portia Capelo

“That’s the one.” If you turn up the volume at the end of the cover of Ziggy Stardust you will hear him shout it, enunciating too clearly to be a rock star. This Christmas I felt nothing for the holiday but wanted anyways to dress and shoot my doll fatale. I tried to slash in half the time it takes me to produce “the one.” Still, I played it left hand, lingering too long in a snowy sim. This morning, sucked up into my mind, I shot a new scene to make up for yesterday’s slush. Eventually, I muttered to myself “Fuck my fans if they can’t take an ‘ack.” You won’t hear that unless your amps hit 11 .

Notes on my model’s ensemble

The Curemore Innistrad dress is a vibrant red. It does not turn oxblood without gale-force windlight. Portia’s head is Vela, free from Lelutka to existing customers. (It’s a whole thing.) Her Ophelia skin is SSD., and seems to have been a one-off for a previous 50L Friday. Her ruby-red lipstick is part of SSD.’s Bettie pack. I edited Animosity’s Sasha shape for Avalon/Reborn. Portia’s hairbase is a current fatpack group gift from addon+. The group is free to join. Her colour-change beflowered nails are Pure Poison’s Rosalia. The earrings and the Christmas cactus were created in the well-before times by Purple Moon and Lode. Portia’s pose is from Mewsery’s Chubbs pack. All I could find out about the set is the it’s RestStop from 2004.

Playguing Doctor

| Portia Capelo

From Portia’s diary: It does this every year. Spends two weeks perfecting my Halloween look, shooting it, shooting it again, editing the pics, editing them again, writing an elaborate post, tossing in squids needlessly (even if they are crowd pleasers). This year it spent a week seeking deep facial wounds. It’s been disappointed before. Why buy the avi a bunch of delicate artful scars if they don’t show up in the photo? (For pleisure, you numbskull.) This year it timidly worked its way up from faded to medium to fresh versions of a set of three huge highly photogenic scars. Then, after all that effort, it spent the 31st throwing together a second, silly look at the last minute. As you can see from today’s photo it’s not even a vibe. I’m giving it a little credit this year for realizing that I look gorgeous in Ivorya, a skin by Not Found, and shouldn’t have been desecrated with burns and blood and tractor marks. Ivorya is available somewhere. It can’t remember where. It’s aging. But then so are you.

Credits

-Pixicat- Eye Dress (Reborn)

Not Found – Ivorya Skin – L001 A

LeLutka, Camila Head

Not Found – Ivorya Shape (my edit of the body, but not the face)

Moccino. x LeLutka EvoX Visage – Freckles 2 (tintable; a lovely plague of pinpoint sunspots that Portia seemed to resent)

[CX] Plague (Tone F) (a group gift designed for an olde face, such that it lands atop the head rather than on the cheek)

EUPHORIC, Yeji eyes

**RE** Shop Your Heart Out Earrings (old gift)

Katatonik, Plague Doctor (old gacha)

Pose: Animosity, Wednesday (edited to show the eye stigmata)

Eye stigmata (no idea where this 2025 gift originated)

A Meal with Mama

| Portia Capelo

Some homemakers overfeed their families at Thanksgiving. Mama—that’s her in the oil painting, Tyrian-purple blood flooding from her flagon—presses relatives into Hallowe’en potluck. My skinny half-sisters, thrilled by my visit, enjoy riding me like Ernst’s pangolin till their turned 19th-century governess sends them back to the schoolroom. Today they’re expertly deconstructing Cambridge scholar Annouschka Bayley’s attempt to disprove claims that Countess Bathory murdered 650 girls. (It was, to be honest, 65. An envious cleric added the zero.)

Mama doesn’t say so but she expects me to bring her freshly harvested eyes from colossal squids. She likes the idea that my daughterly duty is so daunting. Those fucking squids’ fucking arms make them fucking tiresome fucking slays. (Don’t tell mama I said the F word.) Mama is old fashioned love-wise. Throuples are not new, you know. The more partners you have the more you can afford to eat one. Mama’s also stuck in her pre-capitalist ways. She runs a business out of the manse, overseeing a workroom of zombies. They painstakingly process her former lovers’ flayed flesh into “leather” cases for the haute bourgeoisie’s prized books. Mama’s known all over the sim for her own vast library. Her one-hundred-and-eighty-sixth play partner, my father, is shelved somewhere—probably wrapping my first-edition Koleridge for Kids. Mama is 257 years old, so she grumps and grouses. She rails against her stingy sasquatch estate manager for refusing to hire fast zombies. They aren’t more efficient, the estate manager insists. One just thinks that because they’re unionized. Anyhoo, Mama can’t tell the difference between the human-based peepers I pick up at Unwholy Feeds and the sea monsters’ eyes. Don’t breathe a word about this if you want to keep breathing.

Living flowers, a niche fashion magazine for the under-30 undead, a 3-D-printed ouija board, a new edition of Labubu tarot cards for Auntie Arikura-no-baba, and, of course, c-a-r-b-s. Inspired in 1982 by Jane Fonda’s Workout and by the desert mothers, Mama banned such things. So I smuggle them in through the servants’ entrance and break baguette with the three witches, who cackle over things like the frilly knickers and motorcycle boots which all the ghosts wore to Lolla last summer.


Clabber

CURELESS[+] Vulneris Bodysuit / EBODY REBORN (can be worn as a bodysuit, as a bodysuit with skeletons, and standalone skeletons)

AVEC TOI – Aiden Neck Corset – TIGHT – V2 (Reborn) (at FLF o Ween)

AVEC TOI – Khase Earrings (Lelutka Female) (gift at FLF o Ween)

AsteroidBox. Nailed Gloves – eBody

UKIYO : maeve fishnet tights (gift at oh shit)

AYO // Hecate // Straps // Reborn (L) [Black]

Garmonbozia ::: Lindo legwraps – Reborn -R- Variety 5

: CULT : Tonkatonk – Reborn [boots]

*Tentacio* Sabrina witch (bag from set)

Vittles
Orphic + Nightmare (eyes at FLF o Ween)

*Tentacio* Portobello. Bakery bag

Noggin, Flesh, Wounds, Suffering

/ HEAD / lel evox / CAMILA 4.0

Not Found – Ivorya Skin – L001 B (and my edit of the shape, and I don’t recall where I bought this but it’s current)

Euphoria, Yeji eyes pack 2

booN FTN683 hair platinum (vintage [2010] n/a)

moonwaii . bloody face #leftside

(Enfer Sombre*) LeLutka EvoX Tears – Arlequin {red}

Jack Spoon. FrankenBabe Kit [cheek stitches] EvoX (group gift)

THIS IS WRONG Lupin scars FRESH – BoM EvoX (hunt prize)

Corps(e)

REBORN by eBODY v1.69.6

Landgraff – Scourge I (50%) TONE5

CURELESS&DISORDERLY / Burned Heretic / LIGHT 1 (I’m using an old version. The body burn is available in BOM but not the head burn, which worked a little from the old Omega applier. It was a rare gacha.) 

Ginger Rogers, dance on air

Versuta, Bitey poses, pic 1

Fairy AO (are you old enough to know?), pic 2

Stomping grounds

O B S C U R E Built for the damned… Styled for the divine (fly to the big [black?] manse)

The Féeverte

| Portia Capelo

We struggled, she and I. We struggled to shoot with a mirror, never figuring out how much floor a mirror would show when Portia is not quite sitting on the ground and her shoes are not quite rising out of it. We struggled to tweak a Pixit pose with Firestorm’s Poser, which worked a treat, until, after a half hour of obsessive finessing, I closed it. And Portia snapped back into the original attitude.

Sometimes she dazzles me.

Credits

Head

*LODE* Head Accessory – Zoya [dark] [from 2015]

/ HEAD / lel EvoX BRIANNON 3.1

Euphoric, Lovesick eyes pack 1

[All Divas] Karen- Evox Black hair

. Hanzel . Flavory Club Blush {Orange} 

MUDSKIN_JINSEON BLUSH # SOFT ROSE 2 (EvoX) (group gift)

Jack Spoon. Flapper Kit 01 (Shadow 3 edited) EvoX

Saint, Mynx Lip Suede Pack 4 (Don’t hate me for not fixing the grey rim.)

Body

Maitreya Mesh Body – LaraX V1.0

Pumec – / Nina (EVO X)  in Glam (VELOUR)

THIS IS WRONG Elin shape (edited)

-Pretty Liars- Boobs lift LEVEL 4

-Pretty Liars- Butt lift + Enhancements LEVEL 5

Outfit

Bauhaus – Lorelei Top  – Lara X / Black

Bauhaus – Lorelei Shorts – Lara X / Black

: CULT : Akino – MaitreyaX

ARNAUD HAUS. ROSALIA STRAP Bracelet L BLACK

FaeTal – Anica – LeLutka Elf Female earrings

Le Forme, Bento Nails M04 Secret Maitreya

Pose for pic 1: Pixit, Aurora

location: La Fee Verte Absinthe Salon

Censored at Your Pleisure (NSFW)

| Portia Capelo

I am a humanities professor who self censors. I am only a permanent resident in the USA, so I am deportable. (Possibly deplorable.) I fear that if I don’t self censor I will be kidnapped. I will be informed that I committed a crime some time in my past. I don’t recall one. But government spies may have a photo of me at a demo against cruise missile testing. And there’s footage of me attending a service for the 14 “feminists” killed in 1989 at the École Polytechnique in Montreal. One of the worst parts of this moment—these probably permanent moments, minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades, centuries, epochs, epistemes—is that we fear each other as much as the ballooning police forces. I am afraid that someone I work with or someone I teach will report me.

My comprehension of what happens in countries where people inform because they are compelled to inform is based in films and art, so it is dramatized, not researched. That said, the caregiver for my mother—who lives in another city—is a professional narc. She reports me for every infraction, and then I get a report that I’ve been reported. I am trying to learn to say nothing reportable to this caregiver, but I know she will find something. This is about power, not healthy human living, not care for my mom.

Can I say nothing in my syllabi? No. But I have taken out the inspired statement of anti-racism and the land acknowledgment (which students say are in any case “performative.”) I eliminated a list of centers for marginalized students, then restored it but suppressed any implications of combatting marginalization. I worry about the blowback for maintaining the sections providing support for undocumented students and for people who want to change their name, even though these came from the university. I kept them, unedited.

I anticipate that soon the university will tell us to eliminate syllabus material that expresses empathy. The First Nations centre will never materialize. The threat of a lawsuit against anything that resembles DEI, which the government says discriminates against white people, will scare institutions into mandated self-censorship. Self-censorship like shots in the dark. We will never be sure what is and isn’t okay. When we don’t know what is incriminating we panic and censor everything. I know that in the coming years my need to quell my fear might become a stronger and stronger motivator. I may stand in front of my classes and be nothing to my students but a model of guilt and shame. Maybe that’s what the government wants. (That is in addition to silencing the press and universities and eliminating democracy.)

Her Heart Stings

| Portia Capelo

Flip back a post to savor the suffering Portia-sub stuffed with her heart-shaped gag. Come back to delight in the devilish Portia-domme twirling her heart-tailed whip. Consider how she managed to find the only single-urinal bathroom in SL. Imagine what will happen to Portia-sub when more than one patron needs a pissoir.

Available only in fatpacks, the Avec Toi Beatrice pants and Beatrice shirt and vest are splurges. But Portia and Portia and I like the black raspberry colour. And pinstripes on a woman. And contributing to Flickr’s divine group for female avs dressed in suit and tie.

Credits

Head

PUMEC Nina (EvoX) Glam skin

/ HEAD / lel evox / CAMILA 4.0

Euphoric, Khloe eyes pack 2

RichB. Tentacle Septum

UKIYO : xingxi earring 

. AW . Maybe tomorrow, she said hairbase

Jack Spoon. Voulez-Vous Glitter Kit [eyes3] EvoX

Jack Spoon, Vamp Waterline Socket

Look one only: Dalila, Amelie Pack 3 (applier)

Look two only: Frisbey. Grace Eyebrow {Evox} {Tintable}

Knife Party // Ghoulfriend // Evo X // Beauty Mark

Body

AVEC TOI – Beatrice Vest & Shirt (Reborn) pinstripe fatpack

AVEC TOI – Beatrice Trousers (Reborn) pinstripe fatpack

Le Forme, Bento Nails M02 Smoky Reborn

THIS IS WRONG Tiffany shape (R) my edit 

REBORN by eBODY v1.69.6

Props and poses

CUREMORE / Asylum Villains / Kitty-s Whip

Kokoro, Cala poses (with riding crop)

Locales

Ikisou City

The Athenaeum

Betty taught Portia everything she knows.

Speak My Language (NSFW)

| Portia Capelo

“What do you have to say for yourself?”

“MMPH!“

“Did you mean HMPH!?”

“That too.”

Credits

Main attractions

Muse – Break My Heart – Reborn – Raisin (an ensemble)

THIS IS WRONG Elin skin – blush NB

No Cabide :: Gag Heart (resize and colour change)

nova. Yarrow [waifu] (past Access gift)

.STOIC. LACED EARRINGS FEMALE HUMAN

Makeup

/ HEAD / lel EvoX BRIANNON 3.1

Frisbey. Grace Eyebrow {Evox} {Tintable}

{dm} Monarch – 1 . Lovebomb (eyeshadow)

Ladybird. // Eros – EvoX Cheek

(Enfer Sombre*) LeLutka EvoX Tears – Lili (four layers in multiple colours that I’ve laid on with a trowel)

Jack Spoon. Flapper Kit 01 (Silk patch 3) EvoX

THIS IS WRONG Painted ears (tintable)

Body

REBORN by eBODY v1.69.6

REBORN – Waifus – Addon v1.0

THIS IS WRONG Tiffany shape (Reborn) my edit

JK – Butterfly Tattoo GIFT (on Marketplace) (this was not designed for Waifus so it looks messy)

Ama. : Whipped ass : Ouch (olde, may not be available)

AMBAR BEAUTY – BRAZILIAN WAX – FLUFFY 75 (tintable)

Pose

STUN, Zain

Speak My Language Fallen Angels