Tools and Advice?

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I’m wondering what “tools” you guys used that worked better for TTC? I already have a Fertility Friend account and use the app, which works great (I don’t have the paid account, just the free one).

Also, what about forums and message boards? Different friends have recommended What to Expect, The Bump, BabyCenter, and Countdown to Pregnancy. I don’t really want to be active on ALL of them, so I’m wondering which ones you used (if any) and which you prefer? Are some more lesbian friendly than others?

I’ve also been reading Stephanie Brill’s book “The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, & Birth” and she talks a lot about taking vitamins and drinking special fertility tea. Did you guys use specific tea or vitamin supplements?

My cycles are pretty regular, but a touch on the long side (33-34 days generally). I have no reason to believe I will have trouble TTC, but I want to be as prepared and ready as possible. I’ve already started taking a multi-vitamin with folic acid.

Lastly, what did you find worked best for tracking ovulation? I already track BBT and CM. Brill highly recommends checking your cervical positing and texture- did any of you do that? What about other stuff like checking saliva?

So much information!! So many options! I feel a little overloaded, so I’m trying to pare it down to the most efficient options.

Thanks for ANY and all input! This blog world is SO amazing! You guys are more responsive and helpful than I could have ever dreamed 🙂

Fear of Delivery

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I cannot stop watching natural home and water births on YouTube.

It’s so amazing, but also terrifying. I’m not even pregnant, but the more we talk about conceiving, the more scared I become of actually birthing an infant.

I am afraid of the pain.
I am afraid of what could go wrong, either with me or with the baby.
I am afraid of being pushed into having an epidural and using pitocin or other drugs.

I’ve admittedly heard WAY more horror stories about hospital births and emergency caesarian sections. I’ve never heard a horror story about a natural home birth.

But there’s always that “what if…?”

My friends that are pregnant (that I mentioned in my last post) are birthing at a birth center attached to a hospital. The center allows them a low-key “home” environment but the necessary facilities are nearby should they need them. They’ll be using a midwife and doula to help them deliver.

I think that sounds like the best option for us, too. And I will definitely do my research ahead of time to check on insurance, etc.

But my god, the videos. It looks so. Damn. Painful.

I’m hoping that by watching a ton of other births, I’ll become desensitized and eventually less shocked/scared/horrified?

Probably wishful thinking.

10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out

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brynnharrington's avatarwellfesto

Mid-way through a recent group exercise class, the teacher lost me.  She didn’t lose me because of some complicated step sequence or insanely long set of burpees; I mentally checked out because of a few words she kept saying over and over.  “Come on!  Get that body ready for your winter beach vacation!  Think about how you want to look at those holiday parties!  PICTURE HOW YOU’LL LOOK IN THAT DRESS!”

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A Donor Found

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I think we found our donor! Gah! This is so exciting! His baby pic looks a LOT like my wife and we both absolutely love his profile descriptions. We don’t necessarily feel like we need someone EXACTLY like Pru, but since she’ll be the non-bio parent, I think it’s neat to have a donor with similar interests and personality characteristics. This donor seems a lot like her – good with math, loves soccer, analytical thinker, athletic, not a great communicator. They even have the same favorite foods! Plus he has no heart disease or genetic disorders in his family history, which is important for me because I have a bunch of bad genes I’ll be passing along :/

But seriously? How much sperm do people buy? Should we do ICI or IUI? Is there any reason to jump right to IUI’s? Should we just try at-home inseminations? I want to do it in the least clinical way possible, but I also want to optimize the chances of getting pregnant as fast as possible. Should we maybe inseminate in a midwife’s office or have her come to our home to do it?

SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!

Return of the Thermometer

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I bought a BBT thermometer a while back when we were originally thinking about TTC. But then everything got delayed and taking my temp every morning was just a reminder of how we weren’t ready yet, so I stopped that. I kept the actual thermometer though and last night (after looking through the bathroom for a good 10 minutes) I found it. It still works!

So I set up an alarm on my (re-downloaded) Fertility Friend app and took my temp this morning. We’re still a long ways off from actual insemination (I haven’t even talked to my doc yet), but I know enough about how this works to know it cannot hurt to start monitoring ovulation now.

Exciting stuff!

Ready to be Ready

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It has been over three years since I started this blog. Back then, I really wanted children. I still do. But Pru and I have had a lot of decisions to make and having children just never made sense. We knew that one day we’d try to start a family, but it always seemed something in the distance future.

Until now.

Yesterday at brunch, I mentioned to Pru that I’d really like us to start having a conversation about getting ready to have kids. She said okay. Simple as that. She’s not ready. Neither am I. But we’re ready to BE ready. We’re ready to talk about money and logistics. We’re ready to finish the research I started so long ago and contact our doctor and set a “start date.”

She has a great job. I will be starting school next semester to completely change careers. Is the timing perfect? Nope, not at all. But it will never be perfect. It just needs to be good enough. And we believe that it is.

Finally.

Pilot

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My wife and I plan to start a family, but we’re still a while away from TTC. When we do begin that journey, I intend to document it well, but for now I just want to offer support and pull as much advice/ideas/etc from those who’ve already been there or are going through it right now.