Angels Around Me

So mostly I love our life and I'm at peace with it. But I get tweaked when there are problems that I don't feel like I can tackle on my own. Stuff my Dad would take care of if he was still here... but he's not and so when it happens it's doubly difficult because there's this problem I can't solve and there's nobody to help me and I start missing him like crazy in the middle of the terrible problem and, well, it's really, really hard.

And there's been an animal in the crawl space under my house for three nights now. I've heard it scratching, heard it banging on the pipes and last night I heard and then felt in messing around in the insulation right under my bedroom. I felt scared. Because I was pretty sure it was an animal but there's always that space in the back of my mind wondering if it's something else. Or if it IS an animal then what kind and what's it doing and can it get into the heating ductwork and into the house? And is it rabid? And what the fuck do I do now??? Last night was particularly loud and particularly scary and I was already tired from the two previous nights and it kept me up the whole night fretting.

I was frazzled as hell at school this morning, which also happened to be the day after a field trip and the day before Halloween (and anyone who's ever been a teacher or worked with children knows what kind of hard that day is going to be.) I teared up lots of times during the day. I asked for help from several people and got vague answers. Had already been blown off about it by my mother when I dropped off Violet this morning. And I have an uncle who was coming into town and would be perfect for help with this sort of thing except that he's the uncle who thinks Sarah Palin should be the next president and who doesn't acknowledge his sister's only grandchild who was born out of wedlock and into a "family" that doesn't meet his narrow definition of "family" (apparently I don't count anymore either...) So I knew he wouldn't want to help and my mother wasn't even willing to consider asking him either.

By mid-day I knew I had to directly ask someone for help or I was going to lose my mind tonight. I called a parent of one of last year's students whose husband is a Forest Ranger. They are sweet, lovely people and I had done them a small favor or two in the past and thought they might help. They did. He showed up after work, crawled under my house with a headlamp and declared it animal-free. He filled in the hole with rocks. Meanwhile my dearest friend, who is also the busiest woman on the planet, showed up with McDonald's for our dinner. And then another parent, who had stopped in this morning and seen me get teary, showed up with her husband to see if they could help. And I felt so opposite of how I'd felt when leaving my mother's house earlier that morning.

I'm not particularly close to either of the families who showed up (although I'm terribly fond of both of them) and I guess that just makes it all the more lovely that they would be willing to show up and help me. I HATE having to ask for help and that's part of what got me so weepy today too, although it was mostly just sleep deprivation and missing my Daddy. But it is so hard to ask and I guess all the more beautiful when people are willing to show up and help. So often it's the parents of students. During infertility. When I was pregnant and needed help in my house. After I had Violet. After the break-up. All of those times I've had these lovely, amazing people who I've had the privilege of meeting through their children who just show up at the right time and do the right thing. They are like angels watching over me, and now Violet. I am more grateful for them than they will ever know.

Update from the Great Beyond...

Oh, my neglected blog... It's like phone calls to that friend that you really want to keep up with but the longer you go between calls the longer you know the call is going to take and so you keep putting it off for that day when you have the great expanse of time to catch up and we all know that day never comes. So frustrating.

So... highlights since Februrary. The big ones are that Violet turned 2, I turned 37 and we have both fallen in love. I think that mostly covers it.

Here is Violet on her second birthday with the amazing Elmo cake that her Mimi engineered:


Around that same time she had her first haircut - another event that should have made blog status:


The other big event is much harder to capture in a quick sentence or two so I may have to do so over several postings. Last summer, my college love found me on Facebook and we got back in touch. John and I met when I spent my Sophomore year of college abroad in Sheffield, England. We dated that year and were, I think, each other's first true love. Then we spent the next several years visiting each other back and forth across the ocean. The visits were always good but we were young and I had wild oats to sow, predominately that I wanted to see what it was like to date women and join the Peace Corps. We stayed in touch for a long time but around the time I went into the Peace Corps (2000-2002) lost touch. I have thought about him many times over the years and never went more than a year without having the recurring dream that the two of use were married. Anyway, after about 6 months of writing we decided a visit was in order and he ended up spending Spring Break plus a bonus *Volcano Week* here with us. It was the kind of wonderful that I can't figure out how to write about yet. Within the first day or so I felt like he had been here forever. And in a way, I suppose he has. And saying all of this feels in a weird way like coming out all over again but I'm too happy not to want to share this surprising and wonderful turn of events. Plenty more to come, I'm sure, but I'll leave things now with a grainy picture of the 3 of us, taken by the camera on my computer. I'm pretty sure the happiness glares right through the grain.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Two years ago...


One year ago...


Today...


I have the best Valentine in the world.

Long Weekend

Here are some most current photos from this very weekend. I have tomorrow off because it's Fall Break. Highlights of this weekend have been making muffins together, going on our first playdate to Annaleah's house, going to Hudson's birthday party, and playing in the box that Mommy's long-anticipated electric mattress pad came in. Sadly, I didn't have my camera for either outing but here are some cute muffin and box photos. Then I'm going to watch "House." (Happy now Sharon??? You truly inspired me to catch up on the blog - really I figured nobody was checking in anymore...)

Very proud and, I think, looking tough in her Very Own Box


Less tough here but awfully cute


Muffin tasting


Being Violet's Mommy is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Self Portraits

Remember when I used to be all whiney because my ex-partner never wanted to take pictures of us and so I didn't have any of me and Violet together? Well... I wish I had stopped whining and learned what I know now. Because once she was gone and there wasn't even an option of getting that picture taken, I learned the art of the self-portrait. And I think I've gotten pretty good at it. Some of my favorites...

Labor Day Weekend in Chattanooga

I'd been wanting to go to Chattanooga for ages and my mother suggested we go for Labor Day weekend at a time when we both needed a little pick-me-up. It was everything I'd hoped it would be and I totally recommend it as a weekend getaway destination. I want to go back again - maybe during Spring Break this year.


Violet at the AMAZING children's museum in downtown Chattanooga


And Violet at the also amazing Chattanooga Aquarium


More fountains and, a month later, a more ambitious Violet


Of course we went to see the Choo-Choo and thought of my father...

Slow picture uploads

Okay... forget all the stuff about school starting and me being busy. The last post made me remember the REAL reason I haven't blogged in forever. It's because my computer started taking FOREVER to upload pictures. Seriously. Those four pictures from Kansas City took 20 minutes to get on. And now I'm doing them one at a time to Photobucket because the quality seems to show up better and it averages 4-5 minutes per pictures. I seriously don't have that kind of time. If anyone has any ideas why my less than 1 year old imac and my fastest DSL connection available from Bellsouth can't get it together I'd love to hear them.