People aren't always what they seem.

We judge. We judge all the time. We like to think we don't but we are wrong. I judge people, all the time. I'm human and my personality tends to being harsh towards, and hypercritical of the human race. I tend to like or dismiss people right away. People seldom grow on me. Once in a great while they do but it doesn't happen often. You only have to say 1 wrong thing and I will remember it. I may move on but I never forget. It's not something I particularly like about myself but at 43, I probably won't bother to change.

Facebook is an interesting way to communicate and learn. It isn't for everyone. I love politics and debates and verbal warfare. I can have a hearty debate with people I respect and like and not agree with them. Many people I consider intelligent don't agree with me. (well okay not that many) I have been judged and unfriended many times. I am perfectly fine with that. I actually consider it a badge of honor with a few people. People think they know a lot about a person by what they say and post on Facebook. I have discovered that is only true about half the time.

I do get angry when my friends are judged. Some people I know in "real life" and some I know from the blog world. Some are people I just know from Facebook but have enriched and changed me in lots of ways.I am sure I am thought of as the Crazy Rabbit Lady by some. Others might think of me as a potty mouth liberal bitch who doesn't know anything about life because I never got married or had kids. Maybe it's true, who knows. Some people are even surprised to know I have a job. I guess they think I talk to bunnies all day. (what a great day that would be)

The whole "list x amount of things about yourself people don't know" thing has been popular the last few days. I get a kick out of reading them but by no means do I think I really know someone better because they do or don't like a certain food. Instead of listing all the things about me you don't know, and you people already know plenty, let me tell you about people you just think you know.

There is a man that grew up without love or kindness or tenderness at all. He would never tell you that. He has become so practiced at hiding it behind anger and sarcasm you will dismiss him as an ass and never have a clue about how smart he really is.

There is a woman that grew up in such a violent household that she is afraid to raise her voice. Confrontation scares her. She is in a wonderful relationship but the fear that a hit might come, keeps her in a place of false peace and harmony all the time. I want her to know that her voice matters. That her ideas and opinions are important and that she shouldn't be afraid.

There are people who only live with animals because something so profoundly horrific happened to them, they prefer to stay away from romantic relationships with humans.

There are people who lie about everything and use Facebook as a place to relive their teenage years as adults still seeking out that same silly drama and petty jealously that social media can provide.

There is someone constantly seeking love and approval. I have seen that person judged the most. You might not ever know that that person will drop everything and rush to your side in a crisis. That they are warm and kind and guard that part of themselves fiercely with sarcasm and snarky barbs.

There are people who are just pissed off all the time and have never had a moment of true gratitude in their entire life. I pity those people and avoid them like the plague.I don't know what is the uglier cloak, bitterness or anger.

There are those people that whine continuously about everything. Life is just so hard. Work is just so hard. Everything is terrible and the world is out to get them. God they are a bore.

I could go on and on. I won't.

Oh what the heck. Here are a few things about me you may not know.

1. I make habits quickly.

2. I do not want anyone to speak to me when I wake up until after I have had 2 cups of coffee. I am not chipper when I first wake up.

3. Almost every single day for the last 6 months I have felt like an utter failure at my life.

4. The last time I turned on my TV was Sat, November 9th.

5. I smile at the bunnies all the time.

6. My house is clean. It might be dusty and need painting but you won't find an animal hair anywhere in my kitchen. I vacuum it every single day. If you did find a hair, I would have a panic attack.

7. I wake up with the most phenomenal bed head you have ever seen. I look at my hair every day I get up and chuckle.

8. My car is a pit. Another person could actually move in to my car and I wouldn't notice.

9. I read in the tub. Doesn't matter if I am only in there 5 minutes. I still read a few pages.

10. I am afraid of running out of toilet paper.

Okay, so I feel better. I lost Whoosh the other day. It was shocking and sad and it broke my heart.........again. I fully intend on having my heart broken many times. I would be far more sad and lonesome without all my fur kids around.

It's not Monday but let us have a mantra anyway.

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death."
Robert Fulghum


Humor keeps us going. I never post when I am sad. I only post when I feel like I have something to say. I am not actually sure I believe that quote but it sounds great.

Fall is welcome around here.

It's been a little while since I have visited with all of you. I am very glad to see summer slip away. The humidity just kicked my butt this year. These gorgeous fall photos are a breath of fresh air. I love opening windows and feeling the cool of the night.

I wanted to write about so many things but I need to refrain from prattling on.

Beautiful Willow crossed the bridge recently. My dear friend Elizabeth runs Triple O Equine Sanctuary in a remote area of Oklahoma. A few weeks ago, when the herd came in for the evening, Willow was not with them. Several days of intense searching led to finding sweet Willow gone. She came to Triple O a few years ago. Starved and frightened, they nursed her back to excellent health. Willow does not appear to be the victim of foul play or a predator attack. We know what happens when horses bloat and this was the likely culprit. Godspeed on your journey to the Summer Lands, Willow. You will be missed. I know my friend Elizabeth is burdened by sorrow but she carries on, as we all must.

R.I.P

At Heartland we have lost several bunny kids recently. It has been a very long summer. Godspeed to Bugs, Cocoa, Lefty, Dusty, Scooter and one of our gorgeous big white kids whose name escapes me at the moment and I am deeply sorry about that.(and anyone who I failed to mention) May they live another life in fields of green clover with only peace and joy.

With death comes life and new bunnies. We have a few new sillies around Heartland and a couple of new sillies around my place too. The rescue where I adopted Nina called and left messages for me a few weeks ago. It seems someone had surrendered a bun and they had no idea what to do with him. Before I could respond to them they allowed the bunny to go home with a young woman. She had intentions of getting a friend for her bunny. (an unfixed male) I can imagine her surprise when she found out that putting two unaltered boys together is a recipe for disaster. He was returned immediately and I received another frantic phone call. His name on intake was Wayne. That did not suit him a bit.

I agreed to take Wayne as a foster and he would eventually go to Heartland. This kid will stay with me. When he was set free from the carrier he started to dance like I have never seen. His new name is Mr. Bojangles (after a very special equine friend) and boy can he dance. This bun is so full of life and joy and curiosity. I am sure he was quite the horny handful for his previous people. He will be neutered on the 30th and I know he will calm right down. He is so sweet and loves to sit next to me and just gaze at me with adoration. (as all beings should) Perhaps he will like one of the bunnies around here. I hope so. What a personality.

I want to share something very sweet that touched me today.

The last few months have been very tight financially. Unexpected things happened, as they do and I have been searching for a part time job to supplement my income. Money worries can really stress you out (as I am sure you all know or have known at one time in your lives) and make you grumpy.

Early this summer my lawn guy just quit without a word. I don't have a riding mower any longer and an acre is hard to manage with a push mower and all my other duties. I placed an ad on Craigslist for a lawn person. A man named Banner responded in about 2 minutes. He came right then with his wife. He had lost his job and they had 4 kids. Of course I hired him. Nice people and hard workers. He has been doing my lawn for a couple of months.

Banner called the other day and asked if I wanted my lawn done 1 more time this year. I didn't go into details but I told him it just wasn't in my budget this month and I would push mow myself when I had time. I thanked him for his hard work and wished him well. He has found a new full time job and was really happy and relieved.

I came home from volunteering at Heartland and my lawn was mowed and trimmed. I caught him just as he was pulling out of the drive. I walked over to talk to him and he got out and gave me a little hug and said the lawn work was on him this time and he very much appreciated that I gave him a job when he needed groceries for his kids.

Mr. Bojangles

Monday Mantra

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world."

Desmond Tutu

Open Your Mind

I was messing around with blogger and this is the format I got stuck in. I can't decide on what I want so I will leave it as is for now. I am also playing around with the idea of removing the comment section for a couple of reasons. I am still pondering that. We shall see.

Being caught in this odd funk this past year has driven me to watch tv a lot more. I was never really into it before. I have been on this documentary kick lately. Netflix has some good ones and a couple have tapped into a place I haven't thought much of in a very long time. I like that and it has given me a little shake. A wake up call if you will.

I have mentioned before how much I used to love to travel. It was always so exciting to explore a new place, see beautiful landscape and talk to different folk. I would get the biggest kick when someone living in a different part of the country would ask about my accent. There is so much to see and experience. I feel a little sad when I think I might not be able to do it again but you never know. I have been lucky enough to see a bit of the U.S. and it's fun to look through old pictures and remember those experiences.

Two documentaries I really had a ball watching. The Long Way Round and the The Long Way Down. The Scottish actor Ewan McGregor and his best buddy did the most amazing trips on motorcycles. The first was a trip from London to New York. They went through places like Siberia and Mongolia, to name a few. So many interesting and intriguing places. I was practically clapping my hands at all their adventures.

The Long Way Down was the second trip they took a few years later. From the top of Scotland (John O' Groats, is that a great name of what?) all the way to Cape Town, South Africa. I was glued to the screen. Africa has always been such an intriguing place for me. Where the forgotten children are. Places like Rwanda and the Sudan....man, it reminds me of just how lucky I have it. It also makes me very angry.

Such tragic and horrible circumstances some of those babies have lived through. Ugly things that we can't possibly fathom. My heart aches to take them all home and love them. Many people prefer to ignore things like that. I can also grow weary of the sad and terrible pictures but to ignore it completely is more terrible. They all deserve to have their story told, to have their picture taken and have the lucky people take a few minutes and think of them. If they can smile and welcome a stranger after having an arm chopped off then surely I can spend a minute thinking about them. We all have such strong opinions and quick judgments about how the world should be. I just shake my head sometimes.

Another one I watched recently was called I Am. It talked about how we are all connected, people, animals, trees, all living things. I think they might have stretched the science just a tad but I still took so much from it. From the butterfly to the elephant to the human being, we all belong to each other. It opened my mind just a bit more and I certainly appreciate that. When you aren't willing to examine these things a bit, it's like giving up on life. The idea that genetically man was never meant to kill.....WOW. What a concept. They spoke of a shift coming in the next 200 years. It's doubtful I will get to see it in my lifetime but I wish it for the coming generations.

All of these movies have a few disturbing pictures. One in particular that will stay with me is a little black child, maybe 7, holding what looked like a newborn baby. The baby was crying and had no clothes. I wanted to grab them both and make them safe. I can't do that of course but I will do them the honor of thinking of them often and hoping someone saved them. I will also be grateful for all that I have.

All of our lives are touched with sorrow and joy. Some more than others. Very few of us worry about being killed in our sleep or going hungry. My horizons have been expanded a little more. I really hope that happens for me over and over again. I wish it for all of you too. Please don't dismiss the planet as a lost cause. PLEASE! And please don't decide you already have enough information. Trust me, you don't. There is much to be done and so much to learn.

The best part of my day is when I open the back door and find bunnies happy to see me. Nina runs into the kitchen talking up a storm and Sophie races around downstairs in excitement. They make me happy and sad sometimes too. That's life.

Monday Mantra

            "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference"

Elie Wiesel

I don't know where to start

I haven't blogged in forever or it seems that way. So many things have happened lately I don't know where to begin. It's been a long summer. I usually enjoy summer but I really haven't this year. My flowers are neglected and the beds are full of grass. I feel a bit ashamed of how I have let them go. I have some work ahead of me this fall. 

First let's meet Sadie. She is Corky's gal. You already met Corkscrew on the last post. Well the little monkey butt just would not calm down so I decided a girl might help. It took a bit of time but he finally settled on Sadie. She is a very sweet Foozle bunny (Foozle=Lionhead) They are quite a pair, those two. An endearing little couple. Sadie is no longer shy and loves a good head rub. She is a very good girl to tolerate Corky's antics. It is damn near impossible to get a picture of them together. I put Corky in the chair and then went to get Sadie. Corky was long gone when I came back.

Sadie

Below is a photo of my little Gemma. She came to me by way of Indiana. Many of you are already familiar with the breeder who was taken down by authorities in Indiana. 400 rabbits he had. It was a mess. Whether you support breeding or not (I do not) you can't possibly take good care of 400 rabbits all by yourself. It can't be done. I won't go into the details of their living conditions. Gemma was just a baby with babies when she was rescued. She had a UTI, Coccidia and sore hocks. One of the bunny groups I belong to asked if all of us could help. I agreed to take 1 bunny. A hard case or a special needs kid. I did not choose but asked the director of the IHS to send me a kiddo that needed some understanding and a good home. She sent Gemma Junebug along. There was another bun in the running but in the end they didn't feel like she was ready for that trip. 

2 wonderful youngsters drove from California to Indiana in an air conditioned cargo van to transport the buns. I met them in a parking lot in Oklahoma City and they handed Gemma off to me. It was a long trip but all the bunnies made it safely across country to homes and rescues. This was a huge effort by many people and lots bunnies still need homes. I hope they all find good and safe places.

Gemma has settled down a lot. She is pretty defensive about her food and does not like certain sounds or movements. She is a feisty little girl that likes to explore but every little noise sends her running back to the safety of her house. I have told her she will always be safe with me. Perhaps one day she can accept that. She is a Rex bunny so naturally she thinks she is queen. Darla would beg to differ.

Monday was the first anniversary of my mom's death. It has been a hard year. I adopted Sam and Jack right after mom died because they were her special little Heartland bunnies. They were just shy of being here 1 year and Jack died suddenly. He had been experiencing some issues but really seemed to be doing great since his vet visit. I will never know exactly what happened. Jack was unique and I will miss him so much. I know Sammicakes will too. They were best pals. This will always be my favorite photo of them.

Buddies forever. Sampson and Jack

I really am ready for summer to be done and for fall to begin. I hope this will be a better year. I hope. I hope. I hope.

Jack's original people thought he was a girl. His name was Hope which turned into Jack Hope....we dropped the Hope a long time ago. It's weird how things come full circle.

Hope


Hope is a new bunny at Heartland. She was found a few weeks ago in a cemetery. She was emaciated with deep puncture wounds around her pelvic area. This poor little angel was on her last legs when a lady spotted her and scooped her up. She was handed off to our director late on a Sunday night. Her wounds were filled with maggots and she was in bad shape. Her back leg is broken in two places. She was too fragile to put under for surgery. Her chances were poor at best and that leg looked like it would have to be amputated. Because she had survived so much, we wanted to give her a chance. We asked our Heartland Facebook followers to send her prayers and good vibes and healing thoughts, whatever they had. Well they did and some sent donations for her vet bills too.

I am happy to tell you that Hope is doing great. She has gained weight, her infection is gone and her wounds have closed up. Her leg is knitting. If it heals properly she will not need an amputation. All signs are pointing that way now. She must be kept quiet for another week. That is hard to do because she is so young and full of energy. Her spirit is bright and she is a sweet girl that loves humans. Go figure.

I hope you all are doing well and hanging in there.

Monday Mantra

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune
Without the words,
and never stops at all.

Emily Dickinson

A hot mess of a rabbit and a beautiful prize.

Corky

 

 

 

I will huff and puff and blow this house down

 

 

 

Jingle

Of course there is no way I am not going to tell you about The Corkster a.k.a Corkenstern, The Night Watchman, Stink Pot. I have never seen such fire! Such thumping! Such attitude!

The moment I saw those cheeks I was lost. I can't take another bunny. I shouldn't take another bunny. Maybe I could find room for another bunny. The playpen I ordered is just because it was on sale. I had visions of Corkensterns dancing in my head.

The Sophie happened and Corky was put on hold for a bit. I had to bring him home. I just hadta. Corky is 2lbs of furious Taz bunny. He picks fights, he throws his food and water bowls around, he grunts and growls and thumps about everything. *sigh* I just love him to pieces. The other bunnies HATE him. He makes Whoosh angry. He mocks Whoosh's hair and Whoosh calls him Little Bit. They fight through the playpen when one is out and the other is not. Corky also has a crush on Mojo. He admires her beauty. Duds does not like that at all. Collectively, they are The Dirty Dozen.

I received the most wonderful gift the other day. My kind and lovely friend Michelle at http://theraspberryrabbits.blogspot.com/
had a Jingle made especially for me. It is beautifully crafted, one of a kind and even the packaging was done with care and creativity. I will treasure it always. Thank you so much Michelle. You always seem to know when I need a lift. It is either a lovely card, sweet words or something truly original like Jingle. I love you my friend.

Anita is the lady that made my Jingle. She too has a blog that I would encourage you to visit. I have enjoyed reading through it very much. You can find her at
 http://wwwcastlescrownscottages.blogspot.com/

Thank you very much Anita. I love my Jingle.

I am sure you all know by now about the terrible tornadoes that struck several of my neighboring towns. We are safe, Heartland is safe and so are our loved ones. My heart breaks for those that lost family, particularly their children. I think of them daily. A coworker's mother lost her home and another coworker lost hers as well. All of their family is safe including their fur kids. I am very grateful for what I have. I will remind myself of that a little more often.

Heartland has taken in 1 bunny from the storm. She had some cuts and paid a visit to the vet. I will keep you posted but so far, nobody has claimed her.
Stay safe friends. This weather is causing problems all over the country.

You are not special

I have heard some folks say that this generation is the worst. I don't agree. I think we will have more free thinkers, more artists and more caring adults than ever before. I could be wrong. It happens.


There is nothing wrong with telling kids they are special as long as they are reminded that everyone else is special or nobody is. You can't have it both ways. I think all parents want their kids to be the star quarterback or head cheerleader. The problem is that the parents wanted to be these things too. It bugs me in particular for girls. Too many girls are growing up without a real sense of self worth. We still want them to be a princess. I think we should teach them to be warriors.

I know people who volunteer because it makes them look good. I prefer they do it to make someone else feel special. I don't know who this guy is but he should have been one of my teachers. Don't climb the mountain to be seen. Climb the mountain to see the WORLD and don't be afraid of feeling small. You are small. It's not bad. It just is. It is far better to be special to someone than to feel you are special.

All the great books (and a few not so great ones)

The Bookworm by Carl Spitzweg.

A couple weeks ago the nephew called from the bookstore and wanted me to recommend some books. My first question was what kind of books. How do I answer him? I asked what sort of genre he might like. "No, the good books" he said. He wants to know about the classics, the "great" books. I ask him if he wants to really read them for him or if he wanted to read them to impress someone or if he wanted to read them because someone told him he should. "I just want to for me" was the answer. Cool, awesome, happy for him. "What do you think about War and Peace". I told him I didn't. I said it was the most boring bunch of overblown BS I had ever attempted to read. I recommended a few classics and of course he chose none of them. I was thrilled. He went with some Orwell. It's all good.

Books have always been vital to my mental health. When I was young they were an escape and a good friend. They were as I got older too. I can't stay focused on a book lately. It has come about since my mom died. I can't settle my mind into the story. It is driving me MAD. I have 6 books at my bedside table that are waiting. They are calling and I want to answer. I need to immerse myself in the tale and put myself in the story, just like I used to. I'm going to find my passion for books again. I must. But back to the classics for a minute.

I never had much use for the mysterious "they" that decided what made up good literature. Yes, I adore many of the classic writers. Twain, Dickens, Poe, Steinbeck, Bradbury are a few of my heroes. I loved the book lists we used to get in Senior English. I would always chose the one book nobody else wanted to read. It made for great discussion with my teacher. He never wanted us to figure out what the author was trying to convey or what the "deeper meaning" was. He told us to take what we wanted from it and I loved him for it. A book should be savored and enjoyed and wallowed in . Not rammed down your throat because some obscure intellectual snooze meister stated it was worthy or art. I have read plenty, and I do mean plenty, of crap. Not one single book has failed to teach me something, even if it was just a new word. I have given up on a few that just bored me to tears.

I always wanted to read Satanic Verses. I think if you write a book that makes a lot of people want to kill you, it's probably worth a shot. I soon figured out why. It was a bore, a total bore. I slugged my way through 100 pages and still had no clue what was going on. That is my limit. If in 100 pages you can't capture my attention, then I am done. I felt the exact same way about anything written by Tolkien. "gasp" I know, I should be tarred and feathered. Sorry, it seriously bored me to tears. Maybe I'm just not intelligent enough to find the "deeper meaning." Which brings me to another irritation.

Someone I consider very intelligent told me the other day they didn't feel confident commenting or interacting because they didn't have the same book knowledge or weren't as well read as others. I laughed it off a bit for two reasons. The person I was talking to was smart and because all that stuff is just a bunch of hogwash. I can google quotes all day long. It doesn't make me smart, it just gives the appearance that I am. I really don't care. I have met brilliant people who never spent a day in a college classroom and I have met quite a few over educated folk who thinks their shite doesn't stink. That is not a slap at education. There is nothing in this world worth more to me than the value of a higher education but it is a lot like manners, it should be used to teach and make people comfortable, not to beat them over the head and make them feel small or insignificant.

If you ever want a really good laugh, read Texasville by Larry McMurty. It's the sequel to The Last Picture Show (a book I did not like) and one I go back and read often. Of all of Mr. McMurty's books, this is the best in my humble ("snicker") opinion. If I am in a bad mood and I want a lift, I pull it out. A courier at work told me once to never waste time on bestsellers. I thought he was full of it then and I still do. Here is a very small list of some of my favorite crappy writers. (said tongue in cheek) Oh, I am a travel writer junkie too.

Larry McMurtry
James Lee Burke
Simon Green
Jim Butcher
J.R. Ward
Sherrilyn Kenyon
Laurell K Hamilton
Louis L'amour (yes I did go there)

Yep, all crap to some people. I could care less what they think. I hate autobiographies and "real life" murder stories. Other than that, I will read just about anything. Read a book, any book. I don't care if it's a comic book. Read crap and read the classics. I am getting back to my books, as of right now and to quote Mr. Stephen King from Christine "shit wipes off" (google not utilized) and Mr. L'Amour (google also not utilized)

"For one who reads, there is no limit to the number of lives that may be lived, for fiction, biography, and history offer an inexhaustible number of lives in many parts of the world, in all periods of time."

I also don't like most opera music or Picasso. Call a cop. I'm not saying it isn't art. I just don't like it. Feel free to share your personal favorites if you are inclined.