Much wondrous awesomeness that does not appear to me even in my dreams
Comes to me in the form of kismet
Some awful foreboding unseen by me even in my worst nightmares
Comes to me in the form of my karma
The daytime, a reality experience unlike the night
Where ghastly grey nimbus collides with a polychromatic kaleidoscope
Kalesh (dissension) between exuberance and dread
A vigraha (conflict) of disruptive emotions
A tumultous melee, a maelstrom which I am struggling to live through
My tears I can taste.
They taste of sadness.
Of overbearing loss.
Of intense disappointment. Hurt.
They taste of happiness. Gratitude.
Of being connected with the One.
Salty. Sweet. Bitter.
They taste of aloneness.
Fear. Shame. Impotency. Despondency. Rage.
They taste of unbounded joy.
And a sense of achievement.
Arrival.
And departure.
Sometimes, they erupt.
Spouting spontaneously and trickling south.
Sometimes shy,
moistness lying hesitantly quivering
within my lids.
They carry forth hitherto contained emotion.
Unbound constraints.
A passage from the heart
to the world of light.
Damp drops of unformed words.
This is another interpretation of Sahir Ludhianvi’s classic, which was adapted into a Hindi movie song
Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
A poet am I for just a moment or two
Pal do pal meri kahani hai
And this, my story will last for moments few
Pal do pal meri hasti hai
My existence itself is but for a moment or two
Pal do pal meri jawani hai
Youth will leave me in a moment or two
Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
A poet am I for just a moment or two
Pal do pal meri kahani hai
This is my story as I bid adieu
Pal do pal meri hasti hai
It’s time to cast aside this life and begin anew
Pal do pal meri jawani hai
My youth is fleeting, for a moment, no more than two
Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
A poet am I for just a moment or two
Mujhse pehle kitne shayar aaye
There were many who before me preceded
Aur aakar chale gaye
Their words, once admired, have long receded
Kuch aakhein bharkar laut gaye
Some left with their eyes brimming
Kuch nagme gaakar chale gaye
Others, their words in the distance dimming
Woh bhi ek pal ka kissa the
They were then of a moment a part
Main bhi ek pal ka kissa hoon
As am I now, for only the one beat of a heart
Kal tumse juda ho jaunga
Tomorrow, I’ll be on my way
Woh aaj tumhara hissa hoon
Though I am a part of your present today
Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
A poet am I for just a moment or two
Pal do pal meri kahani hai
‘Ere my words are a part of your past
Pal do pal meri hasti hai
And into the attic of fate are cast
Pal do pal meri jawani hai
Yes, too soon I shall be
Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
No more than a distant memory
Kal aur aayenge
Many an exponent has walked this earth
Nagmo ki khilti kaliyan chunne wale
And many more will indeed take birth
Mujhse behtar kehne wale
Purveying words & verse, with exceptional talent
Tumse behtar sunne wale
But their performances and patrons evanescent
Kal koi mujhko yaad kare
Dying in penury and debt
Kyun koi mujhko yaad kare
People only listen to forget
Mashroof zamana mere liye
This world… this world is hard
Kyun waqt apna barbad kare
To carry the memory of a mere bard
Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
I am merely a poet in transience
Pal do pal meri kahani hai
My stories post haste will exit your conscience
Pal do pal meri hasti hai
As brief and mortal my worldly existence
Pal do pal meri jawani hai
As youth fleetingly enamours me with its presence
Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
I am a poet if only for a few instants
Pal do pal meri kahani hai
Not for long will my story last
Pal do pal meri hasti hai
Just as quickly as my life will pass
Pal do pal meri jawani hai
And as surely will this my innocence, too
Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
Ephemeral my poetry, for only a moment or two
The lyrics to this song were composed by Kaifi Azmi. I’ve reimagined the thoughts of a nautch girl (plainly speaking, a prostitute), who finds a kindly client who rescues her (although in mine, the genders are reversed, sorry!!!). Here’s a link to a more recent remix:
| Chalte chalte, chalte chalte | Alone in the wilderness, seeking space |
| Yun hi koi mil gaya tha | Quite by chance, I came upon this face |
| Yun hi koi mil gaya tha | Destiny’s dance, I came upon her face |
| Sare raah chalte chalte | Morose and mundane, mind a’upheaval |
| Sare raah chalte chalte | Aimless walk, mind a’upheaval |
| Wahin thamke reh gayi hai | A sudden stop, and time stood still |
| Wahin thamke reh gayi hai | A higher will, time stood still |
| Meri raat dhalte dhalte | The long dark night started to fade away |
| Meri raat dhalte dhalte | A glimpse of dawn, a glimmer of day |
| Joh kahi gayi na mujhse | Those words I had long left unsaid |
| Joh kahi gayi na mujhse | Thoughts that were rooted deep inside my head |
| Woh zamaana keh raha hai | Echoed now across the world aloud |
| Woh zamaana keh raha hai | Repeated by an enlarging crowd |
| Ke fasana | A story… |
| Ke fasana ban gayi hai | A story strung together of those words |
| Ke fasana ban gayi hai | And put to song by the morning birds |
| Meri baat chalte chalte | Harmony and melody |
| Meri baat chalte chalte | Lyrics unspoken, composed by me |
| Yun hi koi mil gaya tha | That someone I met, quite by chance |
| Yun hi koi mil gaya tha | Life gave me a second chance |
| Sare raah chalte chalte | The thorns I saw, became roses |
| Sare raah chalte chalte | Life afresh, a garden of posies |
| Yun hi koi mil gaya tha | A chance meeting on the lonely path I trod |
| Sare raah | A nod from God, a heavenly prod |
| Chalte chalte, chalte chalte | An approaching shadow falling in step Silently accompanying, there to protect |
| Sare raah | Then, hand in hand we walked along |
| Chalte chalte, chalte chalte | Path unsteady, grip strong |
| Chalte chalte, chalte chalte | Alone in the wilderness, seeking space |
| Yun hi koi mil gaya tha | Quite by chance, I came upon this face |
| Yun hi koi mil gaya tha | A divine bestowing of grace |
| Shab-e-intezaar aakhir | A night of interminable wait |
| Shab-e-intezaar aakhir | Mystically interceded by fate |
| Kabhi hogi mukhtasar bhi | As the sun harkens |
| Kabhi hogi mukhtasar bhi | And the day beckons |
| Yeh chirag | The darkness within |
| Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai | Is slowly dissipating |
| Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai | But I burn inside as I start anew |
| Mere saath jalte jalte | Struggling to cast aside ashen residue |
| Mere saath jalte jalte | Doubts ignite |
| Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai | My body alight |
| Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai | Every step I take |
| Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai | Mind-numbing ache |
| Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai | As the sun harkens |
| Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai | Clouds darken |
| Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai | She leads me on through the fire to dawn |
| Mere saath jalte jalte | I leave behind the old body I’ve worn |
| Mere saath jalte jalte | Blessed to be among the twice-born |
| Yun hi koi mil gaya tha | Quite by chance, I came upon her |
| Yun hi koi mil gaya tha | Quite by chance, I found another |
| Sare raah chalte chalte | Once embittered, this wretched cur |
| Sare raah chalte chalte | Now an angel and I walk together |
This is an old Hindi song, a classic, the original sung by the incomparable Kishore Kumar. I have tried to not transliterate, not translate, but re-iterpret the lyrics. And here’s the link to a newer version…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyFWKazQCmQ
| Chalte chalte mere yeh geet yaad rakhna | Remember this, my song, of as you move along |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | Don’t say goodbye |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | It’ll never be goodbye |
| Chalte chalte mere yeh geet yaad rakhna | Remember this, my song, as you move along |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | Never say goodbye |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | Oh, never say goodbye |
| Rote haste bas yoon hi tum gungunate rehna | Through laughter and through tears, let this be our song |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | Never say goodbye |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | It’ll never be goodbye |
| Pyar karte karte hum tum kahin kho jayenge | If ever we get lost in our love for each other |
| Inhi bahaaron ke aanchal mein thak ke so jayenge | We’ll find restful sleep in a meadow of flowers |
| Pyar karte karte hum tum kahin kho jayenge | If we get lost in our love for each other |
| Inhi bahaaron ke aanchal mein thak ke so jayenge | We’ll sleep amid flowers, tired and worn |
| Sapno ko phir bhi tum yoon hi sajate rehna | Where, my dreams, you’ll still adorn |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | It’s not yet time to bid goodbye |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | No, my love, it’s not goodbye |
| Chalte chalte mere yeh geet yaad rakhna | Remember this song of mine as you move along |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | Never say goodbye |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | Never say goodbye |
| Beech raah mein dilbar bichhad jaye kahin hum agar | If the road bisects and fate does us part |
| Aur sooni si lage tumhe jeevan ki yeh dagar | A bloodletting dart, a taste unbearably tart |
| Beech raah mein dilbar bichhad jaye kahin hum agar | I’ll bide my time, play the part |
| Aur sooni si lage tumhe jeevan ki yeh dagar | And if ever you suffer from an empty heart |
| Hum laut aayenge tum yoon hi bulate rehna | Beckon from afar, I’ll make haste for a restart |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | This is not goodbye |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | No, my love, it’s not goodbye |
| Chalte chalte mere yeh geet yaad rakhna | Sing this, my song, may it keep you strong |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | Because it’s not goodbye |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | No, my love, it’s not goodbye |
| Rote haste bas yoon hi tum gungunate rehna | Through happiness and tears, hum along |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | It’ll never be goodbye |
| Kabhi alvida na kehna | No, never goodbye |
Sometimes
Even as thoughts besiege me
Words fail me
And instead of emptying sentences into an abyss
I revert to chanting
The Word
In a repetitive mala* of 108
Till the pranav overcomes the nishabd
mala = prayer beads
108 = number of beads in a Mala
pranav = a mantra, the sound of Aum
nishabd = wordless in Hindi
Amid the sounds of silence
Pounding thoughts
Reverberate & regurgitate in my head
Oscillations of unspoken words
Stimulating, scolding, provoking
No commiseration, no pause
Never ending
Discordant, dystopian, doubt-filled
Visphoti vichaar jo dhalte nahin*
Calm evades my being
Dark clouds cloak the rainbow silence
Harmony an impotent word
Harnessed in a miasma
A netherworld of negativity
Ashanti ka keechad*
Monstrous crags of imbalance
Through which blows
A gale of turbulence
Intractable schisms between factions
Virulent thoughts, voice in a vice
A vortex of volatility and vulnerability
Adhure khwaab, asthir dimaag*
The silence, not of concentration
Nor of meditation
But of confused mental contortions
And circumambulating constrictions
A sense of emptiness so unbearably heavy
That holds all sounds in a centripetal vice
* An endless chain of dynamite exploding in my head
* A cesspool of imbalance and uncertainty
* Unfulfilled desires and disturbed mind
Sing I your virtues in 40 stanzas every day.
Chant with devotion your name ceaselessly.
And seek I today your boundless wisdom and strength;
your thunderbolt to destroy the diabolical demons
that prey on me from the netherworld of my mind.
Your grace, my protective sheath.
O! Son of the Wind, I carry you in my heart with adoration
in the same way as you do the Lord.
You.
Dark of form,
with ash-smeared body,
gnarnled, matted hair,
rudrakhsha and tiger skin.
You.
Who resides in the snow-clad abodes
of Kailasa, the five Kedars,
Mani Mahesh and Shrikhand Mahadev.
In Benares and Ujjain and Nasik.
And in the hearts of a countless.
You.
who are AshtaMurti, Chaumukha, Triambaka,
Sadashiv, Omkara, Rudra, Arunachalam,
Natraja, Pasupati and Ardhanarishvara.
Shankara, Shambhu and AdiYogi.
Bholenath and Kalabhairava.
You.
Who are without beginning and without end.
From whom the holy Ganga emanates.
On whose head rests the crescent.
The father of time.
You.
Who is merged into utter and absolute stillness.
Who exists in the emptiness beyond all that is.
Who is unbounded and all pervasive.
Whom tonight celebrates.
A night of intoxication and rapture.
Of fixity, enlightenment and dissolution.
You.
I humbly dedicate this to you.
Lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu
May All Beings Everywhere Be Happy and Free
Sarvesham Svastir-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Shantir-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Poornam-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Mangalam-Bhavatu
Om Shanti Shanti Shantih
May there be an abundance of well-being in all,
May there be an abundance of peace in all,
May there be an abundance of fulfilment in all,
May there be an abundance of auspiciousness in all,
Peace! Peace! Peace!
Om Asato Ma Sad Gamaya
Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya
Mrityor Ma Amritam Gamaya
Lord lead me from the unreal to the real
Lead me from darkness to the light
From the earth to the open skies
Lead me from death to eternal light
random rants ruminations ramblings 