You see, we both had a lot of acquaintances, but had very few real, deep friends. Before the age of Facebook, we had too many "facebook-like friends," and not enough key strategic and deep relationships. In addition, we both felt we needed some experienced people to learn from, as well as some "up and comers" to whom we could pass knowledge on. We stumbled across this great formula for developing key relationships (I know, formulas and relationships don't always mix, but stay with me).
It's called Three Up; Three Over; Three Under. The strategy? Find three people that are older and more experienced than you; find three peers with whom you can walk together; find three younger people in whom you can invest. These people obviously can change in your seasons of life, but the general idea of it has served me well. In fact for me it has often been four people in each tier, not just three.
Some brief context. Many times these can be very intentional and defined relationships, but normally for me was for it to just flow out of my current friends. Of course, I would (and still do) keep a regular list of the people in those three categories.
I also do not respond well to the word, "under" because it implies things that are not always true. For example, I have learned just as much (and at times much more) from my younger friends and colleagues than I have from my peers and older experienced ones. In addition, peers can often be younger leaders!
In addition, I have found that I have to be much more intentional with older, more experienced leaders. They can have more demands on their relationships (with less bandwidth) and also seem to be more functional in their style and approach (what the Chinese call, "guanxi" -- namely I expect something back for what I might do for you). Much of that is just generational.
The hardest for some seems to be those younger than you. Because the sub-culture can be different and their interests a bit more diverse, regular connections and relationships can be more complicated. However, I personally find the learning much more interesting, and the rewards more fulfilling.
Like the Blue Angels and the flying they do, it takes time to build trust and relationships that matter, but it is totally worth the effort. Happy relationship building!!
