Myles opens the door to his studio apartment, heads to the closet and takes out a briefcase; after placing it on the bed, he heads to freshen up. Upon coming back, he finds Claire, his wife of 2 months, sitting on the bed side. Myles smile and walks towards her after placing his hands on her knees, he sits down, knees that are white as a sheet. Claire, looking in his eyes, passes a smile that could melt one’s heart. “How was your day?” she inquires, ruffling Myles’ hair. “Same as every day, darling” Myles replies in a gentle, yet stern manner. “Did you make new friends or did you push away the older ones?” Claire passes a sarcastic smile while looking at Myles. “I wanted to you to know something, Claire.” Myles holds her tightly, “Claire, my life went into a drastic overdrive ever since I met you, things started to get clearer and I was no longer the cynical person who lusted success, power and money. I started seeing people for who they were, not who I perceived them to be. It might seem harsh but this revealed a lot of ugliness in the world and in people, yet it cleansed me of the plague that was stuck to me like cancer for the past 27 years. I learned to forgive people, I learned to see the good in the world and accept that no matter how fast hope leaves this world, it always comes back in a manner of way, ways we are too feeble to comprehend. I know! you, at times, tell me how you think your arrival changed my behaviour with other people but I believe it was the opposite, before you, I surrounded myself with people, completely ignoring their true intentions and going above and beyond for them. Meeting you changed it in a way that I started finding the true intentions of what people wanted from me and how they started to disappear when they realised they can’t have that anymore. In simpler words, I’d say you made me realise that I shouldn’t let people use me like a cheap whore; I know you hate such words but please let me finish.” With every word, Myles started to hold her closer and closer, “I just can’t seem to get myself be around people, talking to them is a concept of a different galaxy. I am purging myself in isolation and helplessness and I see no end to it. Every time I lay my eyes upon someone, I wish how they should have been instead of paying any heed to how they are, regardless of how good they are to me, I would always want them to be better.” Tears started rolling down Myles’ cheeks and he exclaimed, “Oh dear! I ruined your dress; let me clean that up for you” Myles started looking for ways to clean the dress but his efforts ended up in vain. “Acid would help.” he screamed on the top of his lungs; grabbed the acid from the storage and poured it all over the hem of Claire’s dress, the hem that was once stained by tears is now nothing but a slimy liquid with a pungent odor. “Oh fuck me!” Myles screamed. “Are you okay, Claire? I think it’s time for you to rest.” Myles stood up and opened the briefcase; carefully gathered Claire’s remains or whatever was left of them and placed them in the briefcase. “Away, away from the heinous world, my Claire will stay.”

I’d like to thank Tee for helping me write this, it was sort of a collaboration and it’s been 3 years since this was written. I didn’t edit anything so expect typos.

The story follows Jim, Rachel and Matt.On a cold winter night, she held my hand and asked, “why would you do this?” I was still going through the shock of murdering someone, a stranger. I replied, “I… I don’t know, I had to protect you, I had to do something.” She started crying, I drove her back home and told her to rest, and I’ll come back again. While driving back to my place, I was having constant visions of the attacker’s face, those cold, bloodshot eyes, ripped apart clothes. Oh, God. What have I done. I killed a man, what about his family, how would they survive? There were thousands of questions going through my mind and I had no answer, no answer at all. At that moment, I was praying that cops don’t ask me to pull over since my clothes were all covered by his blood. I called my friend and asked him to stop by my place in 10 minutes. I reached home, there he was, standing outside the porch. He was shocked after he looked at me, he ran towards me saying “What the hell happened, where’s Rachel?” I was still shaking, I sat down near the porch and explained the whole incident, “We were attacked by an armed man, he was probably looking for money, he held Rachel as captive, I had to do something. I shot him, I shot him, Matt.” “Are you out of your mind?!”, exclaimed Matt. At that point, I had no idea what was going around me, my whole body was numb. Matt asked me to go and sleep, and asked me not to come to the office tomorrow, he’d handle everything. It was 5:00 AM, I quickly went to my room and bolted it shut. I was scared, obviously. I spent the night in complete terror. Next day, I went to Rachel’s but she wasn’t there, her neighbors told me that she’d left that morning to visit  her mom. I was shocked at first, but I left to meet Matt. Meeting him was a relief, at least there was someone I could trust. 5 days and no reply from Rachel, I got worried. Until one day, there was a knock on door, I rushed to see and what I saw left me spellbound. There was a lawyer with 2 policemen. I had no idea what was going on. “What do you need, sir?” I asked. The lawyer replied, “Mr. Jim, you’re under arrest for intended man slaughter, we need you to come with us to the police station.” That’s it, I scattered. How could this happen? I killed him, I saw him die with my own eyes, how can he survive? They took me to the police station and quickly started the court hearings. I called Matt to arrange the lawyer. Rachel came back too. There was still 12 hours left in hearing, my mind was shut. I couldn’t think of anything. Matt assured me that Rachel would be testifying in my favor and that gave me a relief, after everything that happened, she’s still with me. Here it is, the d-day. I was taken to the court room, and was surrounded by people, people who were staring me with their sharp eyes as if I had just killed a thousand more. The hearings proceeded, the judge asked Rachel to come and testify, she stepped into the witness box. “Miss. Rachel, I would like to hear what happened yesterday night, and what do you think about Jim’s decision of shooting the homeless man.” Judge asked Rachel. “I was with Jim, we were just walking towards his car when we encountered this man, he wasn’t trying to harm me, he just needed some money, and Jim was drunk, he constantly kept pushing that poor guy around and punched him twice, and soon as he defended himself, Jim shot him. He just shot him, thank God he was drunk so the bullet wound wasn’t fatal, that’s all your honor.” This shocked the hell out of me. “Why are you lying?” I shouted at Rachel. She started crying, and the judge orderd her to go back. I was overwhelmed by what she said, I was standing in the witness box, still trying to make sense. And all of a sudden, judge decided to announce the conclusion “Considering all the witnesses, the court has decided to convict Mr. Jim for intended man slaughter for the next 15 year, Jim won’t be released on parole or bail. Court dismissed”.

What you are about to read is written by Fatima. Best friend, girl friend and a creep.

“Come on you’re not even trying to be happy!”
“Get a grip on yourself.”
“It’s not that hard to make yourself happy.”
These are some of the hurtful things you get to hear from people who think that your emotions, your sentiments are under your control. Apparently what people don’t realize is that an individual’s thoughts, sentiments and emotions are something beyond their control. People are out there are trying to make it through the day without breaking down and falling apart; making an effort yet there are people who tell you that you’re not trying hard enough. Maybe if they’re more appreciated for their efforts they might actually be happy.

People who highlight all the negative stuff going on in their life aren’t doing it for fun or on purpose, their loved ones should realize how much it hurts when someone suffering from depression or any other instability is mocked for their abnormality. You don’t just go out of your way to mock people who have a limp or have some physical abnormality because apparently it is considered “unethical”, then why mock someone who is suffering from depression, insomnia, anorexia or any other mental disorder?

No one wants to be sad all the time, no one likes to stay up all night and have suicidal thoughts fucking up with their heads or someone who’s starving just to meet impossible body standards. Maybe if they show a little bit of consideration and stop mocking it’d make life much easier. Happiness comes from within it is not something one can buy or maybe it’s just an illusion. If controlling our emotions was in our hands this world would’ve been a much happier place for no one likes to sad. As someone once said and I quote,

“There is no such thing as happiness there are just degrees of sadness. There are people who are sad, less sad, not sad at all or extremely sad.”

“What do you think about the chances of us falling for each other?.” he whispered as he looked at her eyes. He saw sadness, broken hopes and dreams being crushed; “too much wait for these fragile shoulders,” he told himself. “That we might end up being actually happy,” she replied, trying to hide her tear filled eyes behind the blanket. Who knew these small talks about future would actually come true for these both hopeless wanderers. Oh, how they cherished their midnight conversations; when the masks came off and they finally became what they were… two wonderfully broken people; perfectly complementing each other.
“You see through my soul despite the scars you accept me,” his hands shaking, pupils dilating; he wasn’t high, he was in love but was too afraid to accept it. She sat there; awestruck, looking at his eyes glistening with tears. He was strong, but she was incandescent, her light kept passing through ever broken crack in his soul and mortals can never compete with with celestial beings. Perhaps she was one, he’d never seen anyone like her before. There was him; a brute and then there was her; possibly the only one who could provide peace to his vagabond soul. He kept thinking about all things he was feeling yet words couldn’t form up, he was in utter denial that it is happening yet he was cherishing each and every moment of it. As if this was something he had waited his entire life for.

“Need to find you someone now, please,” she said as she smiled at him. “I have you, you’re more than enough,” he replied; trying not to falter. Who knew this conversation was going to change their lives forever? At least they didn’t. They talked about hooking each other with someone else because they were hopelessly alone, they had no one but each other but they were too afraid of their own feelings. He was afraid because he lived his entire life aiming for things he could never reach and he knew that she was, and has always been a queen and a peasant shall never love a queen. And then there was her, unsure about her own brilliance and greatness, kept controlling her feelings out of fear. Who knew this was their last night trying to find someone else for each other?
“You need someone,” her voice went stern as she looked at him with those piercing eyes. “Why? My nights are spent talking to you, I’m not away from you at all. I’m COMPLETELY okay being single, really,” he replied. By now his insides started churning up, “she’ll make me choose,” he said, with his eyes welling up. She looked for love and desire to belong in his eyes, “I’ll back off,” she said. He looked up at her, almost in tears, “this is isn’t how I planned my own death,” he broke down in tears. Looking at him, she couldn’t control herself and words started slipping her tongue, “I’m stuck, I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do. God, this was hard,” she said and time stopped, his heart was jumping out of his chest and he couldn’t believe what had happened. Murmuring, he said, “I can feel my heart jumping out of my chest right now. I love you too. The only way to not be in love with you was being away from or being cold but I couldn’t do that to you,” and that was it; their entire life took an upside down turn and they couldn’t have been any happier.

She is incandescent. Just like the first time I saw her, those vast and fervent eyes took me by surprise, because in them I realise a reflection of my own soul. She’s my weakness, the chink in my armour. My undoing” – Samantha Peterson

“Some believe that we are solely responsible for our choices and that we have to accept the consequences of every thought, word and deed. Others believe that it is all out of our control, whether it’s a god, superstition or plain simply luck. What I can assure you is that when that bell rings for the final time, you’ll be sent out in the world. No more waking up at 6 AM to catch the bus, no more lunches with friends. You’ll be sent out to prove something to that world, but more importantly to yourselves…. Denial; in many cases one who has been through a tragic event or situation in life will find ways to push that event, that memory, that moment of truth, that feeling, far away. Their actions are usually drastic and harmful anything to take them away from reality. They are running away from the problem, the cause, not confronting it. Anger, the why me syndrome. We all experience it, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. For example; the divorce of a spouse, the death of a loved one, the feelings of guilt, blaming one self for events over which we have no control. These are all very common feelings and emotions. Bargaining, doing desperate things, going to extremes, one who’s mind set is blurred, cloudy, irrational, doing things that are from the stable person’s point of view absurd. Depression; not able to operate. The sadness is too overwhelming, keeping feelings hidden within, feelings of wretchedness. Which could provoke frequent thoughts of death, suicide. Acceptance; coming to terms with one’s situation, not necessarily being happy with it but to accept it, but accepting it on your terms, no one else’s. The most organic interpretation of one’s self. It might sound as if I’m preaching, or delivering a sermon. That’s because I am. Sometimes, shit happens, this shit needs to happen. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t evolve as individuals. As your counsellor… and as one who’s been through all these steps for many different reasons. I can assure you, the real world does have its pleasant moments, it does. You just have to know when you’re living them.”

Written and directed by Eric Peter Carlson, The Toy Soldiers is a story of five people who are somehow connected to each other and how at one night, their entire lives take a turn. I’ve been stalling this movie for quite some time since I hardly get time for movies these days but I ignored everything else and decided to watch the movie and I’m really, really glad that I did. It is one of those movies that can connect with you on a spiritual level and to be very honest, not many movies can. do this.

For those who don’t know, it’s an Indie movie and I have a special place for those. A movie never has to be a high budgeted, over the top movie. Some of the greatest gems are hidden in a genre that still struggles to be in the mainstream and I guess that’s how it becomes so intriguing. The acting by the cast was AMAZING. Each character was different than the last and they played their role so well. There wasn’t a moment where I felt that the movie is being dull or unnecessarily long. Do keep in mind that this movie spans over 2 hours and 24 minutes but every second of this movie was worth it. I’d suggest you to drop everything else and watch this masterpiece because if you don’t, you won’t understand the beauty of that genre where glamour and money isn’t everything and where dedication MATTERS.

“The hero Marvel deserves.”

Bringing superheroes to small screen is becoming somewhat of a tradition now. Apparently, as appealing as the idea sounds, it doesn’t always work. I’ve had my eyes on Flash and Arrow but not enough motivation to watch them, even though they belong to DC and I’ve always preffered DC over Marvel but still. When I saw the teaser of Daredevil I fell in love. Why? It was coming on Netflix and there are no censory issues here means you get what you pay for. The teaser only showed how dark the show will be and it is exactly what I wanted. Next reason is Charlie Cox, I am in love with his talent ever since I watched him in Boardwalk Empire even though his role as Matt Murdock is entirely different.

Do know that this is an initial review but considering how things are moving, my final thoughts won’t change much.

“It looks like a fine morning for a jog,” said John to himself as
he got out of the bed and went straight to the rest room. “I wonder how
the weather looks so pleasant today, it’s usually very grim.” John is
still busy thinking if he should go out for a jog or not. If he decides not to,
he’ll be stuck at home listening to all the blabbering that happens on
weekends, and if he does, he’ll end up being hyperactive which never proved to
be good for him. “Oh, why do I have to make so many decisions at this fucking
age,” angered, asks himself while staring into the mirror and thinking, “I feel
as if my eyes are staring back into my soul.” After spending nearly an hour
standing in front of the mirror and hearing all the gibberish take its toll,
John finally decides to leave the house and go out for a jog, “Fuck them and
their devilments.”

He picks up his mobile phone and realise he’s no idea where the earphones
are, “oh, where are the fucking earphones when you need them.” After searching
his disheveled yet somewhat grotesquely attractive room, he finally finds them.
“Time to go out I guess.” He slithers towards the main door and exists the
house, all the noise from inside his house starts fading. He thin puts on his
favourite track and slowly starts walking towards the main road. “I’m not
usually in love with this city, but I’d probably say main road is my
favourite,” he says to himself while he’s walking in a very steadfast pace.

He reaches the main road and stops for a while and thinks… “Why is this
place always filled with people of all sorts, the rich, the poor, the
criminals, the lawmen. Fucking sanctum if you ask me, only It’s not holy at
all.” A trailer parked at one side of the road catches his eye, “this looks
familiar,” he thinks as he advances towards it and finally gathers the courage
to knock the door and ask if anyone he’s familiar with is living in. “Who is
it?” a very gritty voice comes from inside. “S… sir, it’s John Hawkes, from
right across the street, I’m sure I’ve seen this trailer somewhere before, just
wanted to confirm if we’re acquainted.” Everything goes silent for a moment,
John turns his back and decides to go on when suddenly, the door cranks open
and voice comes out of it, gritty as ever, “I know who you are John, your
father was a slimy bastard, he didn’t give two fucks about our friendship and
left, but I know you’re of good heart, please come in. Hear me out for a
moment.”

John hesitates for a moment, but upon realising he’s carrying his
switchblade, he decides to go inside the trailer and speak to the man. John
sits near the door as the man looks at John, with his eyes filled with despair,
he looks entirely impoverished. The man waits for John to settle into the
environment. “Okay, John, I know this might sound crazy to you, but listen to
me carefully. No matter how hard your father and I fell out, I always respected
him, and all I want for you is to know that you’re a very good person, John.
Regardless of what you think and hear about yourself. If you have any troubles,
come to me, I know I’m not able to help you financially, but I’m sure I can
help you give a cathartic narrative. I’ll see you around, just knock whenever
you take a walk through the main road. I’ll always be here.” John frightened by
the man’s behaviour shook his head and left the trailer.

‘Woah, what a fucking nut job” he thought. After quivering all the dust he
had collected on his jacket, he continued his jog, and soon as he took the turn
two familiar voices crossed him. “Aye, Johnny, where are you headed?” The
voices belonged to his two classmates. “These fuckers, as if my day wasn’t already
bad.” John said to himself in infuriated voice. He took a second to breathe and
decided to stay equanimous about this, John had realised there’s no way of
getting rid of them so he decided to offer them to join him, “Nothing much, I
was just taking a jog. Care to join me? We’ve a lot to catch up to.”

Their names were Jaime and Bruce. The three lads took on the same route and
made their way to the cavalry grounds. While chatting on their way, John was
made aware of the fact that some strange things have been happening, stuff that
John had no idea about because he was always so consumed by his work. Upon
hearing all this, he didn’t believe them at first, but later he agreed to the
fact that he also felt something strange but paid no heed to it. The three
young men reached the cavalry grounds and saw a mysterious man wearing a worn
out cloak, he had an equally strange kind of horse. John said to himself, “now
that’s too big for a horse, I wonder what breed it might be.” After few
seconds, the man spoke in a very calm, yet steady voice, “this isn’t a horse,
son. This is something far beyond the strength of your imagination.” John gave
him a weird look and moved back, “Alright, boys, I’m heading towards the main
road and then home, I’d suggest you rendezvous with me there in 20 minutes or
otherwise I’m leaving without you.” John wanted to reach first so he decided to
take the short cut, “this will be good, I’ll be there in no time.” he said it
to himself as he ran like a panther, it was getting dark. “Huh, this is weird,
it’s just 4, and why in the hell would it get dark.” He reached the road in no
time and realised that it’s completely empty, the trailer that he saw few hours
ago is completely empty and the man is nowhere to be found.

Intrigued by what he saw, John further decided to investigate, he went near
the trailer, to see If there were any signs of a forced entry, but failed to
find any. He was moving to and fro only up till the moment he heard Bruce
screaming from a distance. “JOHN, I CAN’T FIND JAIME ANYWHERE. HE FUCKING
DISAPPEARED” said Bruce in a panting voice. John exclaimed “Calm down, for
fuck’s sake, what happened?!” Bruce took a moment to catch his breath and went
on… “We heard you scream, and we thought you’re in some kind of trouble, so we
rushed towards the main road through the tunnel, I came out but Jaime wasn’t
there. The tunnel wasn’t very dark, I could see a silhouette, I swear it looked
like Jaime, I called him out but he didn’t answer and it just disappeared.”

Bruce was unaware that John suffers from post traumatic stress disorder,
his hand started trembling and he felt this sudden surge of pressure. In
moments, John was sweating, they tried calling Jaime but his phone was switched
off. They were standing in the middle of the road when Jaime saw the same silhouette
staring at both of them; this time the silhouette had some sort of dark aura
around it as if it’s being protected by some sort of force. John approached the
silhouette but it disappeared. By the time, they’d realised that something
awful is happening and they don’t have enough time to look for Jaime.

“My place is the closest from the road,” Said John, we go there and we seek
help, my family is at home, and I’m sure they’ll help us track Jaime. There’s
no need to panic. These words didn’t have any impact on Bruce and he screamed
in sheer despair, “shut the fuck up you pessimist piece of shit, you know nothing’s
going to happen and you’re still trying to act in charge.” John stayed calm and
let Bruce take out his frustration, and he realised he’s calm; he went on and
said, “Okay, Bruce, I know you’re in great despair, but we will find Jaime, and
we will be all right.” He handed Bruce the knife and told him to keep it open
at all costs.

Knowing they can’t do anything on their own, both the lads decided to head
towards John’s place. As they walked on a steady pace, they realised that dark
is taking the toll, and there’s no explanation to that. By the time they were
only few minutes away, Bruce was completely drained, he told John that his time
is coming and he’s hearing people scream and Jaime’s calling him out. John
stayed strong but deep down he knew something has terribly gone wrong; he
approached Bruce and gave him a shoulder so he could walk more easily. “Alright
now, we’re almost here.” John heard a loud scream that nearly deafened him; the
scream was very shrill and consistently kept changing its pitch. He looked
towards Bruce and he wasn’t there, but instead of Bruce, there was the same silhouette,
but this time it had blood red eyes and the mouth was wide open. John quickly
pushed it away and started running towards the turn which was supposed to take
him home, as he was running, he started seeing multiple silhouettes, all with
grotesque postures. John stopped for a second as he’d no idea where’s headed,
the place was completely dark. John could only see all the blood red eyes
around him. He knew he’s going to suffer from the same fate as Jaime and Bruce
did, and just when he’d completely given up. He saw this bright light shining
towards him, the light somehow vanished all the silhouettes around John and
made him able to see the way. “Oh, thank god,” John said this in a terrifying
voice. John had decided to move towards the light and so he did, he started
moving gradually towards it hoping there would be something good but it was too
late. As soon as John approached the light, it went completely dark again. John
started screaming in pain, and as soon as he was completely worn out, the light
started flickering, and John heard in a very grave voice, “You were supposed to
follow the light.” After this… the same loud scream pierced right through
John’s ears spiflicating the nervous system and killing him just in seconds.

“Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.”

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure what to make of this movie. I’m not saying it wasn’t good, it was a miracle. If you think Inception was any good, watch this. Christopher Nolan keeps defying the standards he set with his last movies. As for Interstellar, it is unlike any movie I’ve ever seen. This makes Gravity look like a kindergarten student, and to be VERY honest, goes right next to 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Okay, speaking of the movie, it starts like the iconic Christopher Nolan movie. The cinematography was PERFECT, the background score was marvelous, even though, at times It did overshadow the actual dialogues, it was still one of the finest. Speaking of actors. I’ll just go ahead and name one… Matthew McConaughey. He’s played a dying rodeo, a reckless detective and now he plays an engineer and the finest pilot. The movie had some GREAT faces, Jessica Chastain, MIchael Caine, Cassie Affleck, Wes Bentley, John Lithgow, Matt Damon and few others, but no one came close to the performance given by Matthew McConaughey.

The movie started as a REALLY simple movie and I was casually enjoying it. It was only after they leave the earth and go to the space, that’s when the movie takes a HUGE turn and everything becomes a mind fuck. From there on, you can NOT even make a prediction because the movie hits you in the face.

The best and the most ‘what the fuck’ moment of the movie was in the last 20 minutes, it hits you in the face and makes you question the entire movie and the theory of it, and then there’s the end, Christopher Nolan did go ahead and made the ending a bit less trivial as compared to his other movies.

Lastly, I don’t care if this movie doesn’t get an Oscar, Christopher Nolan’s talent and genius is completely 5th dimensional (hoping someone understands that) Before I finish, I’d advise you to spend the money on this movie, don’t wait for Blurays or DVDs, YOU WILL NEVER GET THE SAME EXPERIENCE.

“I used to say I live my life a quarter mile at a time and I think that’s why we were brothers – because you did too. No matter where you are, whether it’s a quarter mile away or half way across the world. The most important thing in life will always be the people in this room, right here, right now. Salute mi familia. You’ll always be with me. And you’ll always be my brother.”

Supposedly the last movie in this god-awful series. Furious 7 is directed by James Wan. Now I don’t entirely hate Wan but I think he went a bit too far with this movie and completely ruined the already atrociously ruined franchise. Fast 7 is an example how you should never milk a franchise. Sadly, that’s what we have been seeing lately. Hey, what happened to 3 movies and ending the franchise? Heck, even one movie would do.