:+: City Of Angels: See it, Believe it, Live it :+:

Hello There … its been a while.

It’s 1st October..

Sengaja broke many customaries taon ini.

Tidur pagian walo ended up sleepless dan kebangun many times semaleman walopun biasanya tiap taon selalu nungguin siapa yang ngucapin duluan after the clock passed midnight.

Pagi2 bangun trus ngantor, walopun biasanya tiap taon selalu sengaja ambil cuti di hari ini.

And soon bakal tiup lilin without the word ‘Happy’ in mind..

Coz this year its a little bit different..
Coz this year usually I’d receive the message with the word “too” behind “Happy Birthday to you”.
Coz even though the year of our birth marked by 5 years difference, we share the same birth date..

Pertama kalinya going thru funeral process dari awal misa pelepasan sampai kremasi, tabur abu, and final resting place in columbarium.

Pertama kalinya ngerti kenapa orang baik meninggal muda.

Pertama kalinya ngerti orang baik jalan terakhirnya lancar di dunia.

Pertama kalinya ngerasain kehilangan keluarga dekat.

I wish you the happiest birthday in Heaven, dear Cihu.., Thank you for every kindness you’ve shown to my family..

I drew a broken heart
Right on your window pane
Waited for your reply
Here in the pouring rain
Just breathe against the glass
Leave me some kind of sign
I know the hurt won’t pass yeah
Just tell me it’s not the end of the line.
Just tell me it’s not the end of the line…

I never meant to break your heart
I won’t let this plane go down
I never meant to make you cry
I’ll do what it takes to make this fly
You gotta hold on
Hold on to what you’re feeling
That feeling is the best thing
The best thing alright
I’m gonna place my bet on us
I know this love is heading in the same direction
That’s up

You drew a question mark
But you know what I want
I wanna turn the clock yeah
Right back to where it was
So let’s a build a bridge yeah
From your side to mine
I’ll be the one to cross over
Just tell me it’s not the end of the line.
Just tell me it’s not the end of the line….

~ Olly Murs – Demi Levato

God help me so I dont do anything stupid tonight…

Been sleepless for the past week. Terngiang2 lagi suara Die from many years ago: “Kenapa lu selalu jatoh ke lubang yang sama??”.

Although g pikir the Big Guy up there still care abt me, gak pake lama buat nemuin the quote on my facebook wall posted by a friend:
“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.
– Kahlil Gibran”
Setelah dipikir2, Quote yang sedikit aneh di post sama itu org, secara dia uda merit. Hmmmmm…

Anywho… abis nambah few songs to my chinese category in spotify. I’m letting my heart rules over my head again after so many years. Even desperately reached out to ‘her’ to convince myself that this is just a passing moment. Is it though…?

Tadi mlm ke USS, partly buat let Audrey spend small part of her AngPao (dia pili beli cotton candy), partly buat liat fireworks sebelom season pass kita expired.

“Wo de tian kong jin tian you dian hui
Today, my sky is a little dark

Wo de xin shi ge luo ye de ji jie
My heart is a season of fallen leaves

Wo bu zhi dao ru he du guo jin ye
I don’t know how to spend tonight

Suo you de deng Zao yi jing quan dou xi mie
Every lights; are all already off”

~S.H.E – Tian Hui~

*bawa kemoceng di tangan kanan, Dyson di tangan kiri*

Its time for spring cleaning. Hahah. Finally got a routine where I’m bounded to sit and watch kid thru out her basketball class. Bisa ngeblog daripada lumutan.

So, new year. 2019. Soon new chinese year. Lets see if I can get rid off some of my rotten habits and tick some stuffs off my checklist this year.

Recently made new friend di social media. A very interesting person. Kinda reminded me of D .. and also Y. Keras kepala nya. Pengalaman idup nya. Cara mikir nya. Fokus idupnya. Either gw yang kurang gaul dan ternyata emang banyak org yg tipe gini di sini, ato jodoh aja bisa ketemu and banter our thoughts. Jarang2 hahah.

Life does have a funny way on reminding you of things bigger than yourself and no matter how smart you think you are, you actually still have to learn about things that you never knew you need to.

Gw belajar hal baru di kelas Consulting Excellence training recently, dimana diwaktu lu tau kalo pengetahuan lu lebih banyak dari yang audience lu, the easy way is to point them their mistake and say they’re wrong. But consider why they think the way they think/do, and give them objective facts to go thru the experience: Feel => Watch => Think => Act. Things will start to get interesting from there 👍
You see, the key is not just about right or wrong, or whether you’re smart and others are less smart or even an idiot. The key is how you impart your knowledge that the recipient of your information can be a better person afterwards instead of being defensive, cold-hearted or ashamed.

Ngomong opo toh iki si Arip, lama vakum, sekali ngeblog ngalor ngidul gak jelas. Eh suka-suka gw donk, blog blog gw, ente hanya numpang di sini! Uda bayar sewa belom??

“… Let me in the wall, you’ve built around..
And we can light a match and burn it down..”
~ Dust to dust – The Civil Wars

“We missed the train…”

That’s the line that keep repeating in my head for the past one week… sigh..

Was browsing thru my blog back from 2006 onwards.. wasnt even know what I was searching for.. an answer? pieces of memories? (you bloody stupid boy, why were u so stingy to log your good memories with her here in your own bloody blog!).

But I guess I was just being me in encrypting my feelings esp in public blog where everyone could’ve read my mind like an open book.. sigh.. Seven years…. it took me seven years to finally fulfilled a promise I once made to the most important person I had in my life. And although I thought Life went on for those 7 years, something within my heart stopped. The very same thing just started to move only after I met her again…

– No matter how prepared you think you are…, Life always has a funny way to surprise you… –

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud….”

"Wǒ yào de zhǐshì nǐ zài wǒ shēnbiān.."

Ciluuukkk…. baaaa…..

jumppa laagiii…. jummpppa maisyy kembalii…. (masi ada yg inget lagu itu ga siii. Di hari gene yang ngetrend lagu K-Pop or si Bieber)

Wakakaka..

Kenapa terbayang2 kata2 di blognya Arman, “Life begins at 30”. huuuuuuuuww.. tuir ni gw. But I guess I have to be grateful of what I have achieved in my 30th birthday. A family of loving wife and super cute daughter, a wonderful big family with no quarrels against each other, a stable job, many great friends and so many other things. Dulu pas pertama baca slogan, g selalu mikir “Dang, will I be as content as Arman when I myself reach that number?”  – And life is always have a funny way of answering your deepest question aint it? 🙂

G nulis ini sambil ditemenin melodi Lu Xiao Yu dari OST Secretnya Jay Chou.

It has been 5 years since the first time she borrowed me the movie….

Sejak ngobrol2 sama J tentang reminiscing the past pas deket2 ultah, gue jadi kepikiran gue uda ngapain aja tiap taon pas ngerayain ultah. Lucu sendiri baca taon 2011 kemaren g ultah stelah baru aja balik dari bangkok. Secara dulu jaman2 kuliah, I promised myself mo jalan2 keliling dunia sebelom merit dan punya anak. And this year, seeing where I ended up, I guess its ok to give up the world trip and exchange it with Audrey’s giggles.

wait..

Who ?

Audrey ?

Lah belom dikenalin di sini ya.

*ngelirik last post, it was May2012 . wakakakaka.

Mari saya perkenal-in :

:+: Madeleine Audrey Chandra :+:

Ini bocah yang ngebikin ultah gw taon ini so much differs from the previous ones. Biasa ngeblog ultah tenga malem tenang2, kali ini sambil sesekali lari2 kecil ke ranjangnya setiap dia mimpi dan teriak “oeeeeeeeeeee”. wakaka. Kalo gw bole sum up the experience of parenthood in just 1 line : “There’s no such thing as enough preparation to what you’ll be going thru, but the reward is beyond happiness”.

Dan seperti biasa, gw ngemeng ga jelas malem2 buta. lol.

Thanks to the early wishers : Pau2, Kelvin, Jamie, Nancy and Mithilesh.

May all of us have a blessed peaceful rest tonight, dan semoga gw ga bangun siang2 amat besok syalalala.

And yea … I guess my life really starts a whole new chapter from this day onwards … 🙂

:+: Audrey and Mommy :+: