Rocco Mocco

This is Just a Phase March 13, 2010

Naalala ko lang mag-iisang taon na pala ako dito sa Manila.  Akala ko malulugmok nalang ako sa probinsiya habang buhay pero eto ako ngayon Manileno na. Mahirap sa kung mahirap pero lakasan lang ng loob. Pag mahina loob mo, patay ang abot mo. Marami akong natutunan sa Manila na nagpamulat sakin sa kalakaran ng buhay.Iba talaga pag nasa totoong laban ka na, matira ang matibay ika nga. Sa probinsiya kasi puro pagpapalaki lng ng bayag ang inaatupag ko. Dakilang PAL. Kakain, matutulog, at maghapon o magdamagang  internet o movie marathon. Sarap ng buhay. Gigising na lang ako pag kakain na o maliligo lang. Patabaing baboy. Pero lahat iyon  ay  nabago ng napunta ako rito. Sariling labada ko ang isang linggo kong  labahin. Sa probinsiya, kahit anong oras pwede maglaba , dahil may washing machine o kaya andun ang aming labandera.

Nawala ang mga luxuries ko sa buhay. Walang T.V , walang internet ni wala ngang soundtrip. Kelangan kong mamuhay ng mag-isa.  Kelangang masanay ng mag-isa. Natututunan ko na din ang pagtitipid. Hindi tulad ng dati na  waldas at walang pakundangan akong humihingi ng pera sa Kanila. Ngayon, budgeted lahat. Naranasan ko na kasi iyong walang makain at itinulog ko nalang para makalimutan ko ang problema. Okay naman pero minsan minsan pilit parin akong nagigising sa sakit ng tiyan dahil wala akong kinain. Napatunayan ko din na the best talaga ang  Skyflakes para sa pagdidiyeta at da bes din itong kasama kapag wala kang pera.

Marami akong natutunan dito sa lungsod, hindi lang pagtitipid pero marami pa. minsan , naiisip ko lang umuwi at bumalik sa naiwan kong pamilya at kama sa probinsiya… na manatili nalang sa comfort zones ng buhay . Pero hindi, nag desisyon akong pumunta rito para magtagumpay.. Kaya kahit pagod na din eh, pilit parin pinagpapatuloy ang laban ng buhay. Living here is bitter sweet.  I just tell to myself every time  I feel down that this is just a phase.

mistake March 7, 2010

Yesterday, i have done something stupid I really regret.Until now, my conscience still haunts me. How i wish that i could disappear right at this moment. i will  not go into details of what happen, but its really a wicked thing to do. i was  upset of what happen since really didn’t expect that I could do such thing.

I feel guilty and condemned. I feel ashamed of what I did. I wanted to forget it but like flashbacks it keeps coming back. Its always ring inside my head. I feel ashamed because I already renewed my commitment to God and here I am now again, playing with fire despite of all the burns and pains I have received  from the past. I’m thinking will i ever learn? can i still  stand up to my convictions after all what i did?

I don’t want to look back in the past but it keeps coming back. I don’t want to fall for sin anymore. I am so tired  of this weary life. I wish,  I am stronger. I wish I am smarter.Strong to fight all of my struggles and wise enoguh to make the right choices.

The mistake taught me some things:

. that I am still a sinner, though been bought for a prize by Jesus blood, I am still capable of sinning because it a  human nature to sin(but that’s not an excuse)

.that even though we fall short from the glory of God because of sin, God’s grace sustain us to continue to move on with our lives.

.God convicts but the devil condemns.

Blessed March 4, 2010

I never thought that fighting for God is so difficult. In this world where everyone is run by pornography,peer pressure,materialism,and others being a Christian is really challenging. It requires to put a lot of effort, a great faith in God to counter the adversities.  I just renewed my faith few days ago and promised myself and to God that never will I return to  my past. I’m sick of it already, tired of living the old life and going into circles of misery. i want to have a break from all the habits I had for such a long time .

Just recently, i  woke up and decided and not contended from what I have. God gave me a vision to do great things ( It was when I turned 19 when I got saved) and I wanted to fulfill that vision. He gave me a desire and passion to sing and lead His people in worship  and so that’s what I’m trying to do now.  So different and extravagant from the life I been living and so I’m doing my best to not look back from the path I once took.

Changing is really not easy.Mahirap. Sobra. But I just keep in mind that I have a BIG GOD and these problems are just  too little for Him. I’m hoping and praying that this will not just for the start. I want to finish this race till the end. And when I finish it , I am so sure that I’ll be proud of myself and so my Father will be  proud of me too. I just keep in mind that i need to enjoy life, in that way burdens and trials will lighter for me to deal with.  Life is created to be enjoyed and not created for us to be troubled. You know God is not like that, HE HAS A HUGE, NEVER-ENDING,UNFATHOMABLE ,PURE,ETERNAL LOVE FOR US. HE SHOWED THAT THROUGH JESUS ,2000 YEARS AGO. WE WERE BOUGHT FOR A PRIZE AND THAT IS JESUS’ BLOOD. KEEP THAT IN MIND.

Aren’t you happy, that you are so precious to God and its funny that you don’t even know? Smile .You are blessed.

I AM LEGEND February 28, 2010

Gone the old me. gone the old days of being so self-centered..gone are the days of being so foolish, of being so selfish.

I am bound  to succeed. I am bound to win. Gone are the days  of being miserable, of being melancholic, of being the pathetic idiot I became.

And so, I need to change for myself,for the others and for God. I know He called me for something great and I know I was born for something big.

Today, I made the decision to let go of all the extra baggages, to follow what is right from the very start.

I decided to go to church today.(after months of staying away from God )I don’t know but something deep within; a small still voice repeating,nagging me to go. It was been a long time since I went to church, staying away from the fellowship of( the ring,hehe) Christianity.

But today was very different. Something odd that  kept bothering me from the time I woke up.Something told me that I needed to do this. And so I headed my way to a Christian Church. I went back to my first love- God. Jesus. The one who loved me unconditionally from the very start despite of all my imperfections. Quickly, all my frustrations melted away. I felt I was alive again after the service.

I was healed again from the pains and from the anxieties of life I had for a very long time. now, it was all gone. I am happy again, replenished fully of Jesus’ presence. I was freed from being a captive of something vague, of something lonely. I am new. I am now back on track.

I am changing for good..hopefully, this is not only in the start.

I am changing..slowly with Jesus’ help.

I will change.. i know..i will be.I can b a legend….

I am legend,soon…. 

Therefore, if anyone who’s in Christ; He is a new creation

the old has gone and the new has come

-excerpt from a Bible Scripture