(originally written 8/2/2004)

sometimes i feel so alone,

even though i’m in a room crowded with people.

i wonder why no one really seems to get me,

or understand me, but then i stop and think.

and i think. and then i think some more.

i’m still thinking, and i think the reason

why no one gets me or understands me

is because i’ve never really let anyone in.

i’ve not let anyone close enough to get to know

the me that nobody knows. the me that only i know.

the secret me, the me under the mask of what

i claim to be. i know why i don’t let anyone see

who the real me is. it’s because i’m ashamed of

the person that i am when no one’s around, and

no one is looking. the stench of who i am

when no one’s looking is so putrid, it’s unbelieveable.

in your eyes, the real me might not be so bad,

but how could you tell? you don’t see the real me.

because i approach life like a grand and mysterious

masquerade ball. a mask is the first thing

i put on in the morning, and it’s the last thing

that i take off at night, so i can be the real me again.

no eyes watching. nobody to perform for.

but then i start to think. and i think.

then i think some more until i stop

and ask myself, when are you going to stop

putting on that mask? when are you going

to let people see who you really are?

are you ever going to let people see who you really are?

i know i’m not the only one that hides their

true colors, but i feel like it.

but you’re probably thinking. and you think.

and then you think some more, and you

see that you view life the same way that

i do, a grand and mysterious masquerade ball,

except now it’s time to remove the mask.