SaraD, That’s Sara + a “D”

At the Gym

I had a friend say to me once how interesting it was that you can look at a baby picture of someone and then at that same kid a few years later and you can see exactly how they got there. The transformation is obvious. But stare as you might at that child, you won’t be able to see where they are going.

And then, without warning, they are where they are going. They are “adults”. In college. No longer a kid. At this point they should know by that age that they are who they are going to be, physically without surgical help, from then until all the horrid old age shit starts to happen. It’s time to lay the foundation for their “grown-up” self if they haven’t already done so.

Yet, so many women don’t take care of themselves in their 20s. They don’t work out or worry about what they eat or drink. It’s easy to lose weight in your 20s. You’re still holding on to some of that spastic metabolism that you had as a kid. (Oh I miss parts of my 20s…. sigh……).

You know how I know this? Intensive market research (insert sarcasm here, I didn’t really do any/much research at all). There are far far fewer 20-somethings at the gym. And I go to lots of gyms and at different times of day. The 20-somethings that do go fall into 2 categories – athletes that are staying fit for their sport and kick ass, and the ones going through the motions, this group sort of sucks.

Mostly there are 30-somethings. Not necessarily athletes, more like women trying to get back in shape. They woke up one day after turning 30 with the harsh reality that something has changed. It’s not drastic, but suddenly they’re gaining weight without any change to your eating, drinking or non-existent exercise regimes. WTF!!!???!?! WHO’S ASS IS THIS???!?!?

Then there are the 40-somethings (and up). There are fewer of us, but we kick ass. And I’m only mostly saying because I am in that group. Really, we do. We’re serious and dedicated and not so much panicked or surprised, we know why we are there and that it is for the long term. We are fighting aging. It is a long and grueling battle.

Oh silly, pretty, thin 20-somethings. Look in the mirror and try to picture yourself at 30, 40, 50… Unlike trying to visualize an 8 year old from a baby picture, you can now see your future. How’s it looking?

Cars (again – one of my favorite topics)

Today, driving home from the gym, a brand new Audi R8 pulls out right next to me. You know, the car Ironman drives. A v10, it sounds beautiful as we pull up together to the red light. You can’t help but look at this $124K car. I mean, come on, it costs more than the median house price in most of the US. And I’m in Austin, TX, not Beverly Hills or Silicon Valley. So, I’m looking.

As the light turns green he effortlessly pulls away and weaves through traffic and around the corner. My 1994 Saab 900 S Convertible (with the top permanently down, without working heat or AC and worth nearly $2K) pulls around the same corner and slows to a stop next to the R8 at the red light. This goes on for a number of lights until he arrives at his destination at the same time that I do.

This is not a tortoise and the hare story. Slow and steady would never win this race. That R8 is going to kick my 900’s ass at everything (but having the top down) all day long. What struck me was that for $122K more, I could have gotten to the same place in the same amount of time looking and sounding like $80K cooler. That guy got totally ripped off!

I have done my part in the past to support the music industry. In the early 80s I slept out on the streets of New Haven and Hartford, CT for tickets to metal bands.

I bought albums and spent extra on the special, limited edition versions.

I bought my first CD player in 1985, an NAD system (which nostalgically I still have) and replaced my album and cassette collections with CDs.

I bought extended dance versions.

I went to Glastonbury Music Festival, twice. I’ve been to Austin City Limits Festival, and South by Southwest.

But like you, I don’t buy CDs anymore. Neither do I buy my music at $0.99 a pop. I listen to Pandora. And yes Pandora, “I am still listening”, but I am not looking, so your ads are wasted on me.

There is no way in hell I’m going to fork out $250+ for a ticket to try to see a band live only to end up with my face pressed into the sweaty back of some hairy stranger and watching the band on a large screen next to and above the stage I can’t even see.

I don’t buy t-shirts, mugs, posters, lunch boxes, or notebooks with my favorite bands’ faces emblazoned on them.

I go to small venues and see mostly unknown local bands, mostly for free.

If I am the typical music fan, the music industry will soon be looking for a bail out. In the meantime, someone is funding my music habit and I would just like to say thank you and keep it up kiddo, you’re doing a great job.

PS – I am going to save this blog post so that in 2 years I can do a cut and replace for films.

Marketing has finally made the transition. “New marketing techniques”, social media and community development are now common job requirements as these tactics are driving more comprehensive strategies that focus on the user. And yeah, I may be years behind on this, but I haven’t looked for a job in a while and last I looked, marketing job requirements included messaging, marcom and product launches.

There is quite a collection of talented unemployed people in the circles I travel in. And while each of us have different backgrounds, experiences and passions, we find that we are all looking at the same jobs. We shouldn’t necessarily be competing for these positions, but 3 different job titles have gotten all mixed up with a common list of requirements.

• Community Management/Development – Requirements are to know how to use social media tools such as Twitter, Facebook, blogs, forums, etc to communicate marketing messages, but more importantly to create 2-way conversations with the user. Manage and/or create and engage a community. Create programs. Advocate for that community inside the company.
• Social Media – Some companies are looking for “social media marketing”, or “social media experts”, or social media is listed as a requirement in the job description. Twitter, Facebook, blogs, etc… In other words, see above.
• On-line Marketing – Which is the idea of using Web 2.0 tools, Twitter, Facebook, blogs, etc… Deja vu.

How did these things get intermixed? Here’s an excerpt from an interview I did with whurley about it and how I think it happened:

Everything I know about social media I learned from open source.

… All communications (in open source communities) were done openly and publicly to help the project grow and get adopted. (Community Manager) was not a very common job title, and one a person earned, not got….

And,

… (Open source developers) were miles ahead of the word-of-mouth marketing phenomena we have today. Open source developers were implementing social media before the term existed, disseminating information through public blogs, searchable e-mail forums, and online discussion groups. My role in marketing became figuring out how to scale what they were doing, encourage it, amplify it when necessary, get myself and the company out of their way when needed, and to advocate on their behalf….

This theory that open source started the social media “movement” started with a discussion I had with James Governor (@monkchips) of RedMonk a while back. 5 years ago when I started working in open source, my use of a blog, forums, email aliases to communicate publicly with about the community I was working with would have been (and was) called community management. Today, using those same tools, plus some new ones, is called social media.

Where open source and social media are divided is in what the communities talk about. Open source communities talk nearly exclusively about the code. There isn’t a ton of personal discussion that goes on. Social media communities talk about anything and everything or even nothing. The pendulum swings one way for open source communities and fully in the other direction for social media. Somewhere in the middle is the use of social media to engage with a community around a brand.

Whether these job titles will all merge into one or whether they will become more specific and differentiated remains to be seen. For now, there is demand for talented community managers, social media experts, and online marketing geniuses. We just have to look a little more carefully to find the right one for us.

I’ve been unemployed for a week. What have I done with my days?

• Updated my LinkedIn profile
• Called, DM’d, Facebook’d, emailed and phoned people who have been wishing me well
• Went to the gym
• Turned my resume into a PDF
• Cooked
• Volunteered to help out with Twestival Austin
• Turned my resume into a Word doc
• Went to the gym
• Added people to LinkedIn
• Went to a GeekAustin party
• Cooked
• Updated my LinkedIn profile
• Went to the gym
• Called, DM’d, Facebook’d, emailed and phoned people who have been wishing me well
• Cried endlessly over the generous and gushing recommendations people have written about me
• Attended a Social Media Breakfast
• Went to the gym
• Updated my LinkedIn profile
• Cooked 
• Cried endlessly over the generous and gushing blogs people wrote about me
• Asked and accepted to be interviewed for 45 Interviews in 45 Days with Aaron Strout
• Updated my LinkedIn Profile
• I have not blogged

For now… we’re eating well.

I have never been laid off (yet – tomorrow is a new day). But this one time, at a crappy job, I did get fired.

I was working for a start-up in Silicon Valley in the late 90s that had just gone public. We made color fax software. So I’m working in marketing at this color fax software company that had just gone public and one day this guy walks in.

He’s wearing white leather shoes. Turns out, he’s from Florida. Following him in the door is a very large man with an obvious gun in his belt. So we’ve got Miami mafia and his gun-touting bodyguard in our little color fax software office in Silicon Valley. He starts telling people randomly that they are fired (Time lines are compressed for dramatic effect).

Turns out, he had bought up the majority of our stock and he was “taking over”. Or something like that. Miami mafia sat in what was the CEOs office with his white leather shoes on the desk and his bodyguard sitting silently nearby, barking orders at people. He was lovely.

A few days into Miami mafia’s reign as king of color fax software, we received 3 draft layouts for our first annual report from the designers. He starts yelling and swearing and calling us all idiots. “What a fucking waste of money!” “Who ordered this shit?” “Where is that marketing girl?” Yes, he called me “girl”. The bodyguard came out and nodded his head in the direction of the office.

“Yes?” I ask.

“What the fuck is this?”, he politely asks.

“Those are layouts of our annual report”, I state. The large envelope that they had been delivered in was lying face up on his desk labeled, “Annual report”. I’m questioning his reading skills.

“Who fucking ordered them?”, he asks respectfully.

“The VP of marketing.” D’uh.

“Why the fuck would he spend money to have the annual report printed in German?”

Pause

Blink

“Huh?” I ask with my head cocked to one side like a confused puppy.

“German!” And he authoritatively thrusts the drafts into my hands.

I look at the layouts. The layouts are just that, layouts. Layouts with “greeking” in them. He thinks this is German. I don’t know why he jumped to German. The herculean effort it took to not outwardly laugh, impressive.

“This is not German. It’s called “greeking”…. ” Choke, cough, remember the guy with the gun.

The question about Greek came next.

This exchange ended with him swearing at me and telling me that if I left the building before this was sorted out, I was fired.

And that’s the time I was fired.

My good friend Stephen O’Grady has tagged me to blog about the 7 things you may or may not know about me. It’s pretty difficult to have blogged and Twittered about oneself and still have 7 things that people don’t know, so I am searching my childhood repressed memories for material.

1. I have virtually no baby toenail. Just this horrible little nub of a thing that should qualify me for a discount on pedicures.
2. I can play any instrument I pick up. I don’t excel at it, but if you show a few chords on a guitar, I can play it. A flute, violin, piano, drums, anything. I get an immediate sense of false talent. I own a guitar that I don’t know how to play, yet I am better at the real guitar than at the Guitar Hero version. My latest endeavor is Dance Dance Revolution, it’s like foot drums.
3. I suffer from allergies, asthma, lactose intolerance, dry skin, and straight hair. I wear glasses, had braces, and I’m short. I have been told at different times in my life that I look like Demi Moore, Liza Minelli, and my brother.
4. I have never been convicted of a felony. The evidence didn’t hold up in court. Of course I’m kidding, I’ve never been caught!
5. I have always wanted to be a blond. I would love to know, first hand, if blonds have more fun. I have a lot of fun and any more fun is probably illegal (see #4).
6. I got my nose pierced in Sydney Australia in 1991. I wear a stud, not a hoop. Wearing a hoop makes me cross-eyed. I still wear the stud for two reasons: 1, I forget it is there and 2, because the hole in my nose is not nearly as sparkly as the stud. Yes, it collects boogers. Nuff said.
7. I was abducted by aliens – I don’t know when or where I went or what happened to me or for how long. Nor do I have any scars, marks, implants, or otherwise. Like I said, it’s repressed.

Rules of this game according to SOG:

• Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post.
• Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
• Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
• Let them know they’ve been tagged.

I tag:

1. Maggie Fox @maggiefox Blog
2. Michelle Greer @michellegreer Blog
3. whurley @whurley Blog
4. Simon Phipps @webmink Blog
5. John Mark Walker @johnmark Blog
6. Steve Lau @stevel Blog
7. James Governor @monkchips Blog

Two gentlemen showed up at our door tonight. According to their realistic-sounding stories, they are both felons, both from inner-city Chicago neighborhoods, grew up with no families, surrounded by gangs, foster home to foster home, both have small children, both are trying to improve their lives for their sakes and for that of their children. Their politeness was unparelleled, their story well-rehearsed, their interest in my story authentic. They work for a company called, “Better Horizons”. I think. It’s unimportant in reality. They are going door-to-door selling magazine subscriptions.

The company provides them with points for subscriptions. 3 subscriptions = 200 points. Points add up to a promotion – and, “you know how good you felt about yourself when you got promoted”. They asked about my first job. They both started as “pharmacutical salesmen – not the legal kind”. They asked about my motivation to get where I am today, wherever that might be. They showed tremendous interest. I liked them.

Magazine subscriptions are sold for cash or check. The list of magazines is small. Their story was heart-wrenching and real, but I don’t have cash or checkbook. So I just apologized and made like I was heading in for dinner. Then they asked, “do you have any old laptops you’d like to get rid of? A laptop of any quality would be invaluable in our job training.” At that point I noticed that they were carrying bags with them containing 3 laptops. I was so engrossed in their story, I hadn’t really paid attention. I also remembered an IBM Thinkpad I have in the back of a closet circa 1999. And I say, “yeah, I’ve got a laptop. Come back in 2 hours and I’ll have it ready for you.”

Win win! They get computer equipment without having to commit any more felonies and I get rid of a worthless antique collecting dust in a closet.

I applaud the initiative. More power to ya, my neighborhood door-to-door felons!

The only American car I have ever owned was a hand-me-down from my mother in 1988. A brown Chrystler Laser. It was sort of fast. Handled OK. Had a plain interior. A plain exterior. Got average gas milage. To me, that sums up American cars. Plain and average.

Cars represent a lot in American history and culture. So many of our rights of passage revolve around driving; getting our license, our first car, road trips, our first boy(girl)friend with a car, other stuff people do in cars. And while dogs may look like their owners, cars are a physical manifestation of their owners’ personalities.

That’s why the US auto industry is doing so badly. Why the US auto makers are doing worse than those from other countries. Our cars have no personalities. Except for the ones that try too hard and have too much personality. The ones that look like stereotypical Americans on vacation.

Let’s test this theory and examine what different brands of cars say about their drivers.

Toyota or Honda mini-van
We’re practical. We needed more room and don’t give a shit about what we drive. We intend for there to be food stuck in the seats and carpet and expect that we will dump it as soon as the kids are a bit older. It’s a fucking mini-van for christ sake.

New BMW
I have a large disposable income, see? I can afford to own not a car, but a driving machine and I am at least slightly cooler than you as a result.

VW
I am practical and frugal, but I still want to drive a German car.

Volvo
I have some money and want a comfortable, although not very stylish or showy, safe vehicle which I plan to drive for the next 15 years.

Suburu
I have a 4WD and I’m not afraid to use it, with stuff in the back, cuz I have room back there. And maybe on the roof too.

Cadillac
I’m old.

Toyota Prius
I care about the environment. And I thought I was doing a good thing for the environment when I bought this ugly thing, but then the news about the batteries came out and now I’m just driving this ugly thing because I am still paying it off. Also, I have hit 2 people in parking lots because they didn’t hear me pull out.

Ford F150
I live on a ranch.
I want you to think I live on a ranch.
I haul shit.
I have never put anything in the back nor have I driven on so much as a gravel road, but I am a big strong man. You can tell by the size of my truck. Also, I could haul shit.

Chrysler Sebring
I rented this once and forgot to give it back.

Dodge PT Cruiser
(I don’t get this car at all. I got nothing.)

Hummer
Fuck you. Fuck the environment. Fuck other people on the road. And fuck you. Did I say fuck you?

Anything old
I love cars.

VW van
I am a serial killer.

Compare American to European cars. We suck. Japanese cars aren’t much better, but they say what little they have to say with a nicer interior.  I won’t drive an American car. It has nothing to do with the economy, it has to do with personal style. It has to do with what stepping out of Suburban says about me. I am not that person. I think we look for cars that express who we are. If American’s are the cars that are made here, and I fear that we may be, we are big, bloated, self-centered, styleless, disposable, and interchangeable. Don’t bail them out, hire them some European designers.

OK. I lied. I owned one other American car. I had an AMC Pacer. It was a custom conversion that my dad gave me. Not only did it have a custom paint job, it had a beanbag for a passenger seat (somehow that was legal, we could pile 6 people in there). AND, and I am dead serious, it was a pick-up truck. A Pacer, an automobile inspired by the ladybug, that was converted into an utterly useless pick-up truck with a beanbag seat. WTF does THAT say about me?

No, this isn't mine. Some other idiot had one too.

PS – Some of my best friends drive American cars.

PPS – I drive a 1994 Saab 900 convertible. It speaks volumes about me.

I’ve gotten 2 separate emails today from 2 people telling me that they have gotten laid off. Two people that I respect and that are good at their chosen professions. And this is just today. My LinkedIn account is lit up like a Christmas tree with requests. And all the while, I am working at a company that has announced pending layoffs of up to 18% of the workforce.

I’m scared of what it is like today. This is an employer’s market. There is so much talent out there right now and employers can name their salaries. 10 years ago, as potential employees, we could walk into a job interview with salary requirements, stock option benefits and sign-on bonus amount demands.

When the ax falls I wonder if I’ll be one of the people out there looking for a job and telling “the man”, no matter what I may (or may not) get offered, “Thank you. May I have another?”

So I think, while gazing critically at myself in a full-length mirror…. I have the body I want. I must, because I know how to get a different one, but I don’t do it. I like food, and sleep, and TV, and candy, and yes the gym and living healthy (blah blah blah), but life is short. No, life is life and in my book you get one go round. And chocolate is good!

So there I am looking at myself in the mirror criticizing my <fill in the offending body part du jour> and I realize, I must have the body I really want. Because it would be super easy (ish) to have a different one. A better one. One without <fill in the offending body part du jour> taunting me in the mirror.

I could go to the gym more and more regularly. I could eat fewer carbs. I could skip, cough, desert. I could drink less. I could eat less. I could… But I don’t. I do what makes me feel good. I go to the gym as often as I can and as often as I feel like it. And when I get home, I eat. Whatever I feel like.

So fuck you reflection. This is the body I want.

Free has worked as a great business strategy for drug dealers for ages. Give them the first taste for free, get them addicted, they will come back for more and be willing to pay for it. Unfortunately, I’m not selling drugs.

Free can only work, as drug dealers have taught us, when it is backed up by some other way to make money. When it is used as a marketing tactic and not as a business model. Because, it turns out, when given the option of paying for something or getting it for free, most people (and some businesses) pick free. Not Free, just free. And not just free beer, they want mixed drinks.

This free marketing tactic used for the one thing has to support the paid business model of some other thing. Otherwise there is no revenue. Revenue. It is not evil or bad or republican to want to make money. It is what allows my company to pay me (and many 1000s of others). This is not evil. It is good. Good Witch of the North good.

Free has been enormously successful for many businesses to drive adoption. But free is just the first half of the equation. It goes like this. Give something useful away for free and people will pay for this other thing in order to do more, get more, run more, be more. Problem is the second part of the equation where at some point someone pays someone for something.

The problem for businesses is that we can get what we need for free and we can support ourselves through our extended communities online and offline, and we hardly need to pay for anything anymore. Which is great for us as consumers, but not for us as companies and not for us as employees of those companies.

No, I don’t really believe that free is going to go away, but more focus is going to have to be put on the second half of that equation where someone pays for something. We are emerging flushed and fulfilled from the Consumer Age of Free. Time to batten down our wallets, I believe we are about to enter the Impulse Age of Cheap. We got our first taste for free, but now we are addicted. Pay up.

Who am I?

Who am I?

This question is circling my brain while I try to figure out what I want to write about. Really it goes more like this:

Who am I?

What does that image say about me?

Ewww, what is that stuck to the counter?

Should I change the text to white?

I’m out of coffee.

These socks are too short, my ankles are cold.

Is a photo of me that is more than 6 months old deceiving?

Hey, my hair looks good in that photo. Maybe I should cut it again.

Who am I?

Who am I?

I’m wondering if there is a such a thing as fashionably late to something like blogging. I tried this once before on my work’s blog site, but that felt like the wrong place for the topics I found myself wanting to write about. I also think, and thought when I stopped writing, that a work-branded blog URL was the wrong place to build my personal brand – which is what I would have been doing with my blog. Other people, to tackle this branding problem, post their blogs to more than one URL (one corp and one personal). Others still have just stayed away from the corp branded blogging site. I never managed to do either.

I started my blog with the intention of using it to promote and support the project I was working on. Eventually I found my voice and ended up covering other things. I started to develop a personality on-line and then discovered that since I was writing on a corporate site, I felt that the topics were often inappropriate. And eventually I was saying nothing at all.

It’s been about 2 years since I stopped blogging. I am jumping back into the blogosphere again now. Hopefully with something to say.

I know a few things for sure:

• I don’t want to blog about work, at least not in the product promotional way
• I do want to blog about things that I am passionate about without censorship (self-imposed or otherwise)
• This blog has an incredibly stupid name

I wonder where this will end up.