At this point, you’ll have seen or heard about this bumper sticker.

This flavor of virtue-signaling is particularly ham-fisted, but it’s also an example of something that happens all the time.
What interests me about this is the ways in which our likelihood to act is impacted by our internal narrative.
“I bought this before Elon went crazy” communicates, presumably, some sort of solidarity along the lines of, “Just so you know, I’m not in favor of the authoritarian tendencies, the dehumanizing of people, the willingness to pull billions of dollars of life-saving spending on a whim. I’m a good person just like you.”
That last sentence is likely true, but the much more accurate sentence is, “While I’m sickened by what’s going on, that unease is less important to me than the inconvenience of selling my $80,000 car to buy another $80,000 car.”
And that’s really the rub: we plaster the sticker on the car, and it serves as a release valve, in the form of saving us from an uglier story about ourselves than the one we’d like to believe.
We repeat this pattern in hundreds of smaller ways. It shows up every time we talk about something being broken without putting ourselves on the hook to fix the broken thing.
“Coming into the office more doesn’t make sense because we just take our calls from the office instead of from home. No one takes advantage of the in-person time.”
“I would love to advance in this company, but I can’t because I never get any feedback.”
“People on my team don’t take responsibility for their actions. There’s no follow-through.”
“My kids are addicted to their phones; it’s impossible to get their attention.”
“The culture around here doesn’t make people feel valued for their unique contributions.”
“I just can’t get this build right because the user requirements aren’t clear.”
“Morale just isn’t what it used to be. People aren’t feeling a sense of connection.”
“We’re just not taking advantage of all that AI has to offer. Everyone is being so timid.”
When we articulate a concern about the current state of affairs, we might be doing one of a few overlapping things:
- Group creation: by signaling that I see the world the way you do, I create solidarity with you
- Narrative to self: by naming something I dislike, I maintain my self-image as someone who doesn’t support that negative thing
- Venting: getting something off our chest so we can get ourselves unstuck
- Persuasion: attempting to convince others that something is not the way it should be (ideally to enlist them to make change)
- Exploration: engaging in dialogue to figure out more clearly what’s going on that needs to be fixed
- Enlisting authority: we inform someone with greater ability than ours about a problem that we’d like them to address
And while it’s true that all of these actions can be done with more or less intention to act, typically the first three decrease pressure to act (because they are focused on internal / shared narrative) and the second three increase pressure to act.

For example, our favorite bumper sticker:
- Group creation: identifies us (to ourselves, others) as anti-Musk
- Narrative to self: “I’m a Tesla person with an anti-Musk bumper sticker. That’s a little less uncomfortable.”
- Pressure to act: goes down, because I feel like less of a jerk
Because what’s at play is:
- The amount of discomfort the “bad” thing creates for us (Musk = bad; Tesla = Musk; therefore Tesla = bad)
- The amount of discomfort we think action would create for us
Anything that decreases our discomfort, by definition, decreases the likelihood that we’ll take action.
The subtlety we discussed last week is that good diagnosis can decrease discomfort (“I figured something out!”), so it runs the risk of decreasing pressure to act.
And, remember, powerlessness is not a viable excuse because we all have some agency. Our problem is that agency involves inconvenience, discomfort, or personal / professional risk, and none of those is particularly pleasant.
Here’s an easy way to see what’s going on: for every observation we make, let’s add an action in the form of an “I” statement. As in:
“Coming into the office more doesn’t make sense because all we do is take our calls from the office instead of from home…and I’m planning to take forward a proposal to create a scheduled lunch hour for everyone twice a week.”
“I would love to advance in this company, but I can’t because I never get any feedback. I’m terrified, but I’m going to ask my boss for detailed feedback in our next 1:1.”
“People on my team just don’t take responsibility for their actions. There’s no follow-through. I’m going to start a shared accountability chart and put my name and weekly To Do’s at the top of the list, and ask others to also fill it out each week.”
“My kids are addicted to their phones; it’s impossible to get their attention. We’re banning phones at mealtime and starting a ‘all phones in the kitchen drawer starting at 9pm’ house rule. These rules also apply to grown-ups.”
“The culture around here doesn’t make people feel valued for their unique contributions. I’m initiating a 10 minute ‘amazingness hack-a-thon’ each Friday where our team shares at least 1 amazing thing each team member did this week in or outside of work.”
“I just can’t get this build right because the user requirements aren’t clear. I’m locking the Product Manager, the subject matter expert, and my engineering lead in a room for 2 hours and we’re going to leave with 100% clarity on the spec.”
“Morale just isn’t what it used to be. People aren’t feeling a sense of connection. I’m going to schedule one 15 minute virtual coffee a week with a colleague, and I’ll come in with three questions that ensure I have a chance to learn more about them and their work.”
“We’re just not taking advantage of all that AI has to offer. Everyone is being so timid. I’m going to invite 10 people to a 2 hour after-work AI hackathon where we come up with 10 ideas that could move the needle, and we will start working on them.”
We can chuckle at the guy with the bumper sticker, but we’re all wearing bumper stickers of one kind or another.
The most dangerous one is the one that says, “I’m so good at figuring out what needs to be fixed that I’m able to stay completely in my comfort zone.”
All meaningful change involves some degree of discomfort and risk. How much is up to you.
Like this:
Like Loading...