Puzzle Kehidupan meniti hari, merangkai mimpi, mencari Ridlo Illahi

上個月我的姐姐結婚了。她離開家就跟她的先生住在一起。現在只有我媽媽跟我爸爸在家, 她們覺得很寂寞。
我給他們打電話的時候, 她很開心。她說「請你常常打電話給我」, 但我只會一個禮拜或兩個拜打一次電話
我媽媽說：『她想念我。』我媽媽知道, 我也很想她。 我媽媽很關心我因為我是最小的小孩。
有時候我太喜歡台灣, 我不想回家, 但是我想念我媽媽的時候我想快回家。

Chinese writing session
Thanks for “施文慶” for the correction^^

Milk tea (in Chinese called 奶茶) is my favorite drinking in Taiwan. Although i know the effect after drunk it, i still continue to drink milk tea because the taste is very delicious. Do you know that Taiwan tea is so strong? Especially for me who have a little allergy in caffeine. After drink Taiwan tea, i can’t sleep almost the whole of night, feel want to vomit, and my heart beat faster than usual. It also gives effect like a stimulant. I will become more fresh and feel more excited in doing something. So, i usually drink milk tea when i have an exam or many homework. It makes me stay awake until morning.

It was in the middle of November. Winter started to come. The temperature could drop until around 10 degree C. The wind’s blow feel so cold . I have to study for my exam. So, i needed to drink milk tea.

That evening, i went to the canteen to buy milk tea. Not many people over there, so I didn’t need to be in queue. Only me and one boy after me. I didn’t pay attention to him at all, even i didn’t see his face. I went away directly after paid. But, when i just reached to the front of the canteen, someone stopped my step. He greeted me politely.
“Hi, i am sorry, I’m Walter from school magazine” He introduce his self. At that time i heard his name is water. (對不起)
“Could i talk with you, i want to ask some question to you” He continued
I was a little bit confuse, because i am just an ordinary student. Nothing special on me. What this guy want to ask me about
“I am sorry, what kind of question that i need to be answered” I asked him
“I just want to interview some international students to be written in school magazine”
“Ooh, oke. no problem”
“When will you have time, i need to talk face to face with you” He asked me then
“Maybe next week, because i have many exam this week” I told him
He asked my phone number and gave me paper to write on.
“I will call you later” He ended the conversation
Then i went back to my dormitory.

Wednesday, November 18,2009

Wednesday was my full day class. I have class from morning until evening. I was in the chemical engineering Kinetic class when my handphone vibrated. I couldn’t answer it. I didn’t know who was calling, because only the number that showed on the display. So, i just kept it vibrate until stop by itself. However, i remembered about the guy whom i met in the canteen 2 days before. I worried that the one who just called was really him. But haven’t i told him that i have many exam this weeks and i would have free time next week? Finally i sent message to that number “sorry I am in the class, who was calling” no answer at that time.

After kinetic class then i had to attended “ Thin film” class. Again, my mobile phone vibrated. It was the same number as before. I couldn’t answer because I sat really near the lecturer. Then i got a message ” hi lili, i am Walter, i want to talk with you face to face, if you get the message, please call me“. As what I guessed, the one who called me before was Walter. But at that time i still thought that his name is Water. I answered his message shortly ” Now, i am still in the class until 1:30. I will call you after class“.

3:30-5:30 pm. I have seminar class. My mobile phone vibrated for the third time. It was from Walter. Ya, I knew because I have already saved his number. Oh, i really forgot that i have promise to call him after class. It was because i have many things to do after my previous class until seminar. Impossible for me to answer him at that time. So, i sent him a message again “sorry i have seminar class, i will call you tonight“. He had called me three times that day, and what a pity i couldn’t answer those his call. So sorry.

I called him then after seminar class. He wanted to meet me on Thursday, means day after that day. Actually i was a little bit busy that weeks, but maybe he has no time except that week, so i made an appointment to meet him at Thursday 10 am. Still, there was something happened on Thursday morning, i couldn’t meet him again. Then I made new appointment to meet him at 4 pm, but he said he has class on that time and will be available at 7:30pm. In front of MOS Burger is the place he chose.

I invited my roommate to go with me. She is an Indian girl named Olivia. The wind blew so hard that night. The leaves detach from their stem. I taught the autumn hasn’t really finished yet. We waited for Walter in front of MOS burger. Actually I didn’t remember his face at all. And I didn’t know whether he was still remember me or not. But at least, I looked different with other students because I wear “jilbab”(in English maybe has close meaning with scarf). He must be know me. Olivia felt so cold, then I lent him my shawl.

After sometimes one guy come to us, he asked me weather I’m Lili or not? “This guy must be walter“ I thought. Then I said ya. He invited us to enter MOS burger. He ordered tea for me and coffee for Olivia. “Tea again, means I will sleep late tonight “ I speak to my heart. Then he started to interview me.

He looked curious especially to my “jilbab”. Ya, in Taiwan people who wear jilbab is very rare. Maybe some of Taiwanese never seen “jilbab” before. No wonder if some students look at me deeply if I walk in campus. Become more strange in summer when most people wear very short clothes but I still wear long clothes and jilbab in my head. I have been asked for many times by Taiwanese“你不覺得很熱嗎? “ aren’t you feeling hot?” I just answered “不熱” . (read: not hot)

Go back to the interview section, Walter asked my name first. Then I ask him back. He answer Walter, then must be there was something wrong with my ears, because I still heard he said Water. “Who? Water? 水(shui)? “ I made sure. (in chinese water means shui (水)). “No, not shui (水), not water but Walter” He explained while smiling. But maybe to his heart he said “I have thought hard to create my English name, why you change it easily” ^^. I became want to laughing, because since yesterday I called him water. I know it just his English name , not his real name. Actually in Taiwan we need to make a Chinese name, and Taiwanese also arrange their English name, to made foreigner easy to call them. I asked his Chinese name. But I don’t know what he said. So difficult to be spelled and more difficult to be remembered. Lately, I knew that his Chinese name is 施文慶

He asked me many things about my country, Indonesia. About the weather, culture, people, and so on. He Also asked about Islam. It was good chance for me to introduce him and to other people about Moslem. How the way to dressing in Islam, the way to pray, the way to associate with others. I just made point that Moslem is a peace religion, it doesn’t as scary as what most people heard in media. Even I differ with other people in some ways, but I still can make a friend with everybody, I still can study together with other student and I still can do activity normally. I am not only proud but also feel lucky to be a Moslem. Islam is the only perfect religion, because it sets every aspect of life. Islam is the religion of truth.

Walter was really like a professional journalist. His English also good enough, so we can communicate well. Chinese is totally different with English, so for some Taiwanese, it will be hard to speak in English. There are some question that I couldn’t answer directly, so I promised to send him email later. interviewed section closed by took pictures.

Friendship can start from everywhere, everytime and with everyone. Just be the good person then you’ll get the good friends too. Because we never know, when we need other people to help us. I never thought before that the one who ever stopped my step will help me much in the future and became a good friend of mine. Even the meeting is maybe only one year, but the friendship will be forever.

spring, 2010
written by jasmine
special thanks to 施文慶

Actually this story is continuation of “zhongwen is must part 2 and part 3”. I still wanna talk about my myanmar friend, xiao li. Now she is become more than a friend for me. She is like my sister. I never tought before that it was not too difficult to become close to her. Eventough it needs extra effort to communicate with her. But so far, we are become more understand each other. I always try to improve my chinese, so that i can talk with her nicely. But i think chinese is really really hard to be learned. And only xiao li can understand my chinese.

It started when she often went to my room to ask about her course. Chemistry, mathematic and english. Actually i am familiar enaugh with chemistry, i mean with the material that she asked to me, but the problem was how can i explain it in chinese? i had been given chemistry private lesson for 5 years, but i never taught in another language except indonesian. However i had to explain in chinese, the language that still i confuse with.

xiao li is a smart girl, she could understand my explanation even my language was really messy. honestly, it was not really chinese, plus gesture, of course^^.
She also often eats in my room together with me and my roomate. Day after day, what i expected before became true then. She willing to pray with us. Actually before came to taiwan, she used to pray in Myamar, but during in Taiwan she never do pray again. so i and my friends just need to remember her about how to pray.

she came to taiwan about five years ago, when she was 15 years old. she has no family in Taiwan. and she has to work to support her live also to pay her school fee. so every vacation she goes to kaohsiung to work. she is really type of hard worker girl.

I was really happy when she willing to move to my room then. So i can be closer to her. Moreover i don’t need to call her everyday when we want to eat and pray together.
Her joining to my room gives the different atmosphere. i can practice chinese with her everyday. She also bring the new happiness in my room. she is so funny and kind hearted. i really like her. i am sure, all of my rommate also like her.

now, what should i do? ya, practice chinese harder and harder. because there are many things that i need to tell xiao li. hope someday she can be one of “kader dakwah” in taiwan. ^^
i love you, xiao li^^

大家好!! 對不起, for long long time I never greet you all in my blog . So many words want to be said, so many things want to be shared, but sometimes we don’t have time to say and to share, and just let the things go away and become memories.
Well I wanna tell you then about something that I ever told before. Do you still remember about the hill behind my dormitory. If you ever read “Dari Jendela 1×2” then you will understand. Until now, I still enjoy the moments when I wash my cloths and dry them in the small room beside the elevators. That hill still nice to be seen. But more nice if you step your foot on it. Now I know what the hill is called.
It started when I knew a Taiwanese friend. He always give me much information about nice places in Taiwan. Someday when I chated with him, he asked me about my planning in new year. I said, I have no planning yet. Then he suggested me to go to fujhoushan. i don’t know what and where is that place. He said that it is a mountain behind our campuss. (read:NTUST). He said, we can see firework from 101 clearly. Then he tried to give me direction how to go there. But I still couldn’t catch what he meant. Finally he decided to show me the way directly. He invited me to do sort tour to fujhoushan.
December 29, 2009. the weather was so nice. Not too cold and a little windy. I invited two of my friends to join with us. We walked about 25 minutes to reach the fujhoushan.
This is the hill that I used to see from my dormitory. We climbed the hill. Actually there are stairs from the foothill until the top of the hill. So it was easy to climb. But that hill is high enough, very useful if you want to decrease your weight.

It was such a nice place. So quite. it looks green wherever you see. From the top you can see the scenery of Taipei city. The whole 101 also can be seen perfectly. Actually there are many hills near my hometown. But I wonder why they just be a corn field, or cassava field, and even just a barren forest. No one care of them. What a pity . I just hope that someday, my country will be better than nowadays. Even just a hill, a rifer, a field can be such the beautiful places. Of course, it needed the care of everyone.

福州山, i have already touched you, when I see you from my dormitory then, I’ll never feel curious again. But still, when I have free time, or I wanna feel free, I’m going to you again. Nice place with a little nice memory^^

I was in my mandarin Class when my mobile phone rang. I almost rejected it and knew that the call was from xiao li. Do yo still remember xioa li, a myanmar girl who study in the same campus with me. (read zhongwen is a must part 2). She is a muslim and i still try to be close to her. I didn’t reject and went out the class to answer her phone. She asked me where i was. She said she need my help. I just told her that i would be in the room at 9:30 pm.

Ban ye (Midnight) 12:00. I was studying Analytical Chemistry when the door was knocked. Xiao li came to my room and brought one book. The problem happened again. Difficulties in communication. i opened not only google translate but also yellow bridge. For me i could use that tool, but not for her, because my laptop hasn’t set yet to write chinese character using “bpmf”. Then she invited me to go to her room. I followed her.

She opened google translate using her PC. It was much better because she could type chinese character and translate the meaning. i also could answer using english and changed into chinese.

She need my help to do her english homework. “It’s oke, i can help you” i was too confidence. I think her homework is to answer the question or make sentence in english. Evidently, her homework is to translate english text into chinese. There are five articles that must be translated. She has already done one article, so there are still four more article left.

I read the article for a moment. Actually those articles are so simple and easy to understand. Not need much time if i translate to indonesian and javanese, but, how can i arrange those all words into chinese???? you know friend, how poor my chinese. And in this case, to translate mean write in chinese, not only speak chinese. Actually she suggest me to use google translate. But somehow translate using google translate or other tools is not good. The meaning can be different. moreover, the arrangement will be disorderly if we translate the sentences or paragraph.

I have promised, and impossible to cancelled it. I just said, give me time to do. I will finish in one weak. I don’t want to make her disappointed. I have to try. It is not just help a friend, but i need to tide her heart, and slowly i will invite her to pray together with me and my roommates. I will try to do as i can then ask my labmmate to check my work. it is good idea, isn’t it?

Maybe this is the way given to me to close to her. as continuation what i ever talked in previous episode. She invited me to study together, she will teach me chinese and i have to teach her english. And once again, Zhongwen is a must. But why i still feel lazy to study. whereas so many things can be done by understanding that language.
Well, i have to study zhongwen. titik.

dalam dinginnya pergantian musim
November 2, 2009

First Meeting

He came late at the first meeting. He looked like an ordinary person. He wear glasses. His clothes are jeans and T-shirt. very casual. His hair wasn’t so tidy. He looked hasn’t ready yet. A little bit nervous and anxious. After sometimes i knew the reason.

That was the first time for him teach an english program. He said sorry for many times because he couldnot not speak english fluently. He also apologized because he spoke slowly, but for me it was good because i could catch all his words. (sama2 ga lancar bhs inggris).

In the first meeting he introduced his self and explained about the course material. I felt so sleepy for the first 50 minutes, but in the second session i found something on him. The more i paid attention, the more interest he was.
“hen hao kan?” dui a. But the most interested was his “sweet manner” , He always smile and so cute. He looked such a very patient person. Moreover his rule in that course doesn’t burden the student. He just wanted the students always come and show their interest in his course. Wo juede, ta shi hen hao laoshi. did i start admire him? wo bu zhi dao 🙂

Unpredicted meeting
One day, i met him in front of my laboratory. it was obvious that his room is near my laboratory. He still remembered that i am his student. He greeted me first and we talked each other near the window at 8th floor. in the outside, the drizzle was come. He asked my comment about his style in teaching. And again, he said sorry if i can not understand his explanation. i made sure that he can teach very well, and his english also good. Easy to understand. just be confidence laoshi

In The Elevator
I would come back to the dormitory when i met him. We were go down in the same elevator. I asked him whether he want to go home. He answered that he want to go with his son. i asked about his son’s age, and he said 1 year and 4 years old. Oooooo, he has been married. I hear something cracked. was it my heart???, maybe. 😦

Next Meeting.
The course become more interested because he always shows short movies related with the course. His performance also became better and better. More tidy and more “hen hao kan” . Especially when the weather a little bit cold and rainy, and he worn sweater, he look like a teacher in a mandarin movie. (memuji berlebihan boleh ga sih?? hihihi) And i always sit in a front line. pay much attention to both the course and the lecturer. 🙂 🙂 🙂

in the break time he always come to the student’s desk and talk to the student. I don’t know what they talked about because they usually speak in chinese.

But in that day he came to my desk, and talked to me. He asked me about Taiwan and about places where i ever visited. of course, with his smiley face. then we discussed many things during break time. He said sorry because he has disturbed my break time. it’s Ok laoshi, actually i like to talk with you 🙂

In next meeting he came to my desk again, but the question was surprising me. He asked me about Indonesian noodle. He said, he knew from television that indonesian instant noodle is good. of course i promote not only indonesian instant noodle but also other indonesian food. Instant noodle company should pay me for those advertisement, right?. He looked interest and asked me the direction to go to the indonesian shop. I drew the map. And he very thankful to me. i like to help you Laoshi, sound in my heart.

Until this day, the course still continue. i never regret for taking this course. Although i am the only indonesian in the class, and the course is also difficult, but i really enjoy it. Thank you professor for the smiley face.
You become “the story” of this semester.

Siang belum beranjak sore. Aku masih menikmati permainanku bersama teman-teman kampungku. Main pasar-pasaran. sebagian berpura pura jadi penjualnya dan sebagian lain jadi pembeli. Di kesempatan lain, aku akan bermain loncat tali atau permainan maling-malingan alias kejar-kejaran. Petak umpet, kasti, gobagsodor bisa jadi alternatif pilihan. jika air sungai sedang surut kami lebih suka main ke sungai, dengan alat hanya berupa bakul bekas yang sudah tidak dipakai, kami mencari udang. Jangan dibayangkan udangnya besar-besar kayak di pasar, namanya juga disungai dan mereka hidup liar, paling besar hanyalah seukuran jari kelingking bayi yang baru berumur 7 hari (zha bu duo). itupun kami harus bersaing dengan nelayan sungai yang mencari ikan dengan arus listrik (setrum), yang jujur tak hanya membahayakan lingkunan tapi juga membahayakan diri mereka sendiri. Belum lagi ada yang hobi menebar racun untuk menangkap ikan, padahal nanti ikannya jg dimakan, apakah itu gak sama aja dengan meracuni diri mereka sendiri??

Aku belum sanggup berfikir jauh waktu itu, meskipun kami gak suka dengan pencari ikan tak bertanggung jawab itu, tapi kami gak peduli dengan mereka. Yang aku tahu hanya satu “senang” that’s all.
Namun ada yang selalu merusak kesenanganku waktu itu. Seseorang yang tiba-tiba datang ditempatku bermain main. walau tidak sambil berteriak, namun kata-katanya begitu mantap dan tak mungkin lagi bisa ditawar-tawar.

“Ayo pulang!!, belajar! atau tidur siang saja,biar nanti malam gak ngantuk pas belajar”
Dengan perasaan kesal harus kutinggalkan semua. Udang yang kudapat dengan perjuangan, harus kurelakan bersama teman-temanku. Atau kujual gratis semua daganganku jika jika aku sedang bermain pasar-pasaran.
dengan langkah dongkol aku pulang ke Rumah, diiringi tatapan iba temanku lainnya.
“Huhh, Apakah Bapak gak pernah mengalami masa kecil sih?” tanyaku dalam hati
“Kenapa aku gak boleh main main sebentar saja, toh aku juga belajar kalau malam” protesku dalam hati. Namun tak mungkin aku mengeluarkan suara suara yang berkecamuk di dalam sana.

Begitulah Ayahku, selalu saja meyuruh belajar dan belajar. Dan begitulah aku, selalu mencari cari kesempatan untuk bermain dan bermain. Ayahku yang bekerja sebagai pedagang minyak keliling tak setiap saat ada di rumah, karena harus keliling kampung-kampung, namun bisa setiap saat muncul jika mau pulang ke rumah. Biasanya ayahku pulang pada saat jam makan siang dan ketika ashar tiba, kemudian berangkat keliling lagi, baru benar-benar pulang kerja ketika adzan maghrib berkumandang. Sehingga kesempatan bermain yang ada selalu kugunakan sebaik-baiknya walaupun penuh resiko dan tantangan, sebab ayahku bisa pulang semaunya, kapan saja. Seringkali ketika bermain, aku melihat ayahku mengayuh sepedanya dari kejauhan menuju rumah. Langsung aku sembunyikan semua properti mainan dan berlari secepatnya ke kamar. Pura pura tidur atau belajar. Dan nanti setelah beliau pergi lagi, aku meloncat dari ranjang dan bermain kembali. hooooh, how naughty i was.

Waktu Junior High School, ayahku tak se strick itu lagi dalam menyuruh belajar. Rupanya minat belajarku sudah mulai sedikit tumbuh dan sudah tak tertarik lagi dengan nyemplung di sungai. Jadi tak ada lagi cerita pura pura belajar dan tidur siang. Yang ada justru tidur siang beneran….:) kalau dulu dimarahi gara-gara gak mau tidur siang, kini dimarahi gak boleh tidur siang. suruh bantu orang tua maksudnya. Namun Ayahku tak mengijinkan aku bergaul dengan teman teman yang menurut beliau tak baik. Meskipun aku tak tahu apa parameter baik bagi beliau. Sepertinya penampilan menjadi sorotan utama. Jadi jangan sekali kali datang ke rumahku denga baju robek robek, rambut di cat, atau menggunakan rantai , pasti langsung di usir, kalau cewek gak langsung di usir, paling cuma aku yang gak boleh dekat dekat lagi. Pernah suatu ketika aku sedang santai di dalam rumah, seorang teman yang juga masih tetangga jauh mau main ke rumah, dengan senyum ayahku mengatakan kalau aku sedang belajar dan tidak bisa diganggu. (*bener bener sok penting gue, hehehe)

Waktu SMA, kepercayaan beliau padaku sudah mulai wutuh. Aku tak pernah lagi di suruh belajar, dan tidak terlalu mengekang aku dalam berteman. Mungkin beliau telah melihat kalau aku lumayan bisa bertanggungjawab. Nilai tak terlalu mengecewakan dan teman-temanku semua adalah anak baik baik yang hobinya les dan belajar. walau aku tak terlalu hobi tapi sediit terpengaruh juga dengan mereka. Ayahku tentu bahagia jika teman-temanku ke rumah. karena pasti untuk belajar kelompok dan bukan untuk main-main saja. Akupun sudah boleh bawa sepeda motor meskipun tanpa SIM. Asal hati-hati, baik dari keramaian lalu lintas maupun dari polisi hihihi

Akhirnya Ayahku mengijinkan aku melanjutkan study ke ibu kota propinsiku “Surabaya”, tak banyak dari teman-teman kampung yang melanjutkan study sampai jenjang s-1, karena berbagai alasan, mereka lebih memilih bekerja daripada sekolah. Teman-teman mencari udangku dulu bahkan banyak yang hanya sampai SMP saja, temanku main malin-maling an, ada yang jadi maling beneran dan tertangkap polisi. Teman main pengantin-pengantinan banyak yang sudah menikah.

Banyak hal yang berubah dalam kurun waktu 10 tahun. Dengan langkah pasti, dengan harapan tinggi, aku mengadu nasib di kota pahlawan. Ayahku sudah semakin lunak sekarang. Tak pernah menanyakan gimn belajarku, berapa IP ku, dengan siapa berteman. Pokoknya kepercayaan 100 persen sudah ku dapatkan. Dan sungguh tak sekali kali aku berniat mengkhianati kepercayaan beliau. Bahkan ketika aku lulus, aku diberi kepercayaan dengan dititipi sebuah sepeda motor untuk kupakai d Surabaya. asyiiikk

Waktu terus berjalan, kepingan kepingan puzzle tersusun, dan Hanya Allah yang tahu rahasia kehidupan. Atas kehendakNya, aku menemui jalan untuk belajar ke negeri seberang. “Taiwan”. Ku rasakan sedikit kebanggaan ayahku padaku waktu beliau mengantarku ke Bandara Juanda. Ketika kebanyakan pemuda di kampung kami ke Taiwan untuk bekerja, maka aku ke sana untuk belajar.

Aku menatapnya saat berpamitan, walau suasana mellow namun aku tak ingin menangis. Aku tak ingin mereka melepasku dengan sedih. Akupun tertawa-tawa dan meyakinkan pada mereka kalau aku akan baik baik saja di sana. Namun ayahku hanya diam. Begitu tegang. kedua bola matanya memerah. Sepertinya sedang berjuang keras untuk tidak meneteskan air mata, dan aku melihat ayahku begitu rapuh. Kemana suara keras yang selalu menyuruhku belajar waktu itu, kemana garis garis wajah kaku yang mengusir temanku, kemana nasihat nasihat yang sering menjadi teman makan bersama. Tiada kata kecuali hanya satu “hati-hati”

Aku masih merasakan tatapannya di punggungku ketika aku melangkah melewati metal detector bandara dan menuju tempat boarding pass. Itu terakhir aku melihatnya. Kini Hanya do’a yang bisa kupanjatkan agar kedua orang tuaku selalu diberi kesehetan, ketenangan, kebahagiaan dan aku masih diberi kesempatan untuk bertemu mereka lagi. Dengan membawa sebuah keberhasilan. aminnn

Ayah, kutulis ini dengan linangan air mata
bukan air mata kesedihan, tapi air mata kerinduan
bukan karena aku membenci caramu mendidikku waktu kecil dulu,
tapi justru karena aku ingin berterimakasih padamu
aku memang belum pernah tua, namun engkau sudah pernah muda
Aku tahu perjuangan hidupmu lebih berat dari perjuanganku
engkau bekerja keras berusaha untuk membuat jalanku lebih baik dari jalan hidupmu
dan belum ada yang bisa kulakukan untuk membalas jasamu
mungkin hanya barisan do’a yang bicara
di setiap penghujung malam malamku

Untuk Ibu dan Ayah tercinta
Taipei october 16,2009