The letters came and the phone calls were nice but short, but Heather was not home. She was sent to boarding school to get a good education, but I missed her like crazy. The letters all said the same thing. She would write about how much fun she was having and the new things that she was learning. I was happy for her. I was glad that I had sent her, but still missed her being at home with me.

Shawn seemed to be at ease with our choice on sending her to boarding school and decided that Bella would benefit from it as well. “They need a good education.” He would tell me and I knew what kind of education they would get if they stayed here.

The months passed and it was soon time for us to celebrate Isabella’s birthday. With the horrible schedule that Shawn kept I hardly ever saw him. My schedule was just as bad. It seemed like the only time I had with Bella was when I came home at night just to fix her blankets as she slept in her crib.

I was glad that when her birthday came and I got to go home early. I sent the sitter home and placed the cake on the table. I ran up the stairs to find my daughter playing on the floor. He face lit up as I scooped her up into my arms and headed down the stairs.

With the birthday excitement over and a week later, Isabella was joining her sister off to boarding school. We had chose something different for her. She was sent to the school of arts. Like her sister, Isabella was angry, but agreed to go knowing that it was the best thing for her. We tried to make her understand that she needed to be at a school that would give her the type of education that she deserved.

For the first week both of the girls were out of the house I could not stand it. I started holding more meetings at work just to pass the time. Shawn did not like it, but I actually didn’t care. I wanted the girls to be home with me and they were off at school.

The girls had been gone for two months together. I came home later than usual and decided to check the mail before I went inside. I pulled out the few bills that were inside, but also a letter from heather.

Mom and Dad,

I have finished the elementary years that were required here and will be coming home soon. I have a week leave before I have to return for the next few months before summer. I am thrilled to be coming home. I Should be home by Tuesday morning. You will not believe all that has changed. I was also wondering if I could learn to drive while I am home. I will be there soon.

Love,

Heather

I could not believe it. Heather was going to be home in the morning. I also had not problem with her learning to drive. I would have to talk to Shawn and make sure that he would teach her.

When Heather got to the house, neither Shawn nor I were home to meet her. When I did get home later that night, I could not believe how much she had changed. She reminded me a lot of my mother with the way she talked and even acted. She had become a bit of a snob.

I had thought several times about pulling her out of the school and putting her in another, but the ways she talked about it and the friends that she had there, I just could not bring myself to do it.

“Mom it is great being at school and my roommate is just something else.” She explained to us as we sat down to have dinner. I had also gotten a letter from Isabella that day and wanted to share it, but Heather never stopped talking about herself. I wondered if putting her into that school had been such a good idea. I tucked my hand down into my pocket where I had stored the letter. I was tempted to pull it out and just start reading, but I didn’t want to interrupt Heather from whatever she was talking about now.

“Hey dad, on your next day off could you help me get my license?” My heart sank as the question came out. Why would she want to drive when she is in a school that provides everything for her. Shawn just looked up at her and nodded and then gave me a half-smile. He was not really wanting to teach her, but knew she would continue to ask until one of us gave in and taught her to drive.

The next few days were sort of hectic for every one. Heather continued to bug us about teaching her to drive, but with my work schedule and work load I just did not have the time. Shawn on the other hand just avoided the promise that he had made to the girl the first night that she was home from school.

Heather was great when it came to inventing things. While her father and I worked during the day she kept her nose in the chemistry books and then ran outside to work on some thing that I was sure would ruin things for me int he long run. I can not count how many times I had walked into a room and the girl had placed a stink bomb in there, or even one morning opening my dresser drawer to get ready for work and she had set one-off all over my clothes. I guess you could say I was glad that the uniform that i was wearing that day had been hung up inside of my bathroom.

When Shawn got home later that night, Heather was all over the driving thing. “Dad, can we go driving now?” She gave him the same smile that she used when she was a little girl to get her way. Shawn was great at giving the girl what she wanted. “Heather I am tired tonight.” he tried so hard to get out of it. Heather crossed her arms and then started again. “Dad I am leaving in a week and I guess mom took me out of my normal school and put me into another one.”

“I know that she did that.” Shawn and I had talked about it several nights ago and agreed that Heather should get the best out of her education and that putting her into a different school would be good for her. “You promised to teach me to drive before I went back to school.” Heather was starting to get irritated with him now. Shawn grabbed his coat from the chair that he had placed it in and then turned back to his daughter. “Alright, lets go.” He started towards the door.

Shawn climbed into the car as Heather slid into the driver’s seat. “Okay after putting on your seatbelt, turn on the car and slowly put the car into drive.” A few minutes later Heather had her seatbelt on and the car was started. I think I was glad then that it was an automatic. She shifted the car into drive and pulled out onto the street.

The first couple of minutes were rocky, but once she got the hang of it driving came to her as easy as walking did. I wondered if Isabella would have it as easy. I had a few years left before Bella would need to learn to drive.

Once she had gotten her license Shawn made her drive every time he needed to go some where. I hopped that he would get back into driving once she went to school again. I figured that he was just giving her the time that she needed to make sure that she understood everything about a car and the road.

By the end of the week Heather was off to school once again. I was not ready for her to leave, but kind of glad that she was going to get a good education. About a week after she had left I got a letter explaining how hard the new school was and the fact that she had met some new friends. She had also kept in contact with her other friends who were angry that she had gone to a different school.

 I liked the fact that Heather and Bella were in school. With them there I could get back to my career. I was slowly working my way up the corporate ladder and was loving it. before Bella turned sixteen I had managed to become the CEO of the company. As I went to work one morning I thought about my parents and wondered if they would have been proud of me for getting the goal that I had wanted all those years ago.

Once I was made the CEO there were certain things that I had to do. I was invited to party after party and my attendance was required. It seemed that every time I went to one of these parties, I had to make a speech about things that would change in the company. I could not have asked for my life to go any other way that it had the last almost twenty years. I was a happy mother of two, a wife, and a very successful business woman.

Some adult language. Rated for mature audiences. I do not have the time to make a PG version of this. Thanks.

Is this where my life was going to go? A toddler who wanted so much of my attention I barely had time for myself. Then you have a newborn baby who cried most of the night and half of the day. Shawn was always busy so he really had no time to help me with the girls. How did my mother do this? Why did she have to die? Why is my husband being such a jerk about helping me with the children that he wanted. I only wanted one and now look there is two of them. Twice the diapers, twice the bottles, and twice the mess. ERR.. I can’t take it any more, I have to get out of here.

I was supposed to be enjoying my career right now. Not married with little people to take care of. Maybe my brother was right. Maybe I needed to get out of here for a few hours and let some one else deal with the diapers and mess. I loved the girls, but I just needed to get away.

Standing there looking at my messy house, I wondered if I could get some one to help me clean it. Maybe a maid, or a butler. Shawn and I were pretty well off and we could afford things like that. As I stood there I heard the familiar sound of low whimpering. “Great she is awake again.” i said to myself as I headed up the stairs to my bedroom. I was lucky if Isabella slept long enough for me to get some kind of work done.

As I got to the crib and picked up the baby I felt my pant leg being pulled. I looked down to see Heather. “Read, mommy!” Every time I started to do something with Isabella there she was. At my feet with the same book wanting me to read it. I was getting more and more irritated because I had just bought her several books and what does she do. Brings me the same damn one ever day.

I put Bella up on my shoulder and looked down at my daughter, “I do not have the time right now to read to you, please go play with your blocks.” I brushed her off as I headed to the changing table with Bella. I felt bad and now wished that I would have waited.  Heather threw the book down on the floor and then herself. She looked up at me threw her lip out and started to cry. No sooner did she start the baby I was holding screamed and wailed in my ear.

“Heather, I will read once I am done with sissy.” I tried to get her to understand, but it seemed the more I tried the more she cried. A few minutes later while they were still crying I heard the front door open and then slam shut. “Daddy is here.” I said in a happy voice hoping it would get her to stop crying.

I heard his slow footsteps as he made his way up the stairs. he poked his head into the room and then walked in. “How are my girls?” He asked with a weak smile. I could tell that he had a bad day and I did not want to bother him with my problems. “We were fine.” I smiled back. He walked over to where Heather was sitting and swung her up into his arms. “Daddy read?” She said as she pointed to the book on the floor.

Shawn looked up at me with an unpleasing look. He bent over and grabbed the book and then headed down to hall to the playroom. As he was walking out the door he turned his head towards me and said, “We will talk about this later.” I knew something was up. He had gotten irritated with me before over the girls and that stupid book she always wanted us to read. If I would have just put Bella down and read the damn book maybe he would be in a better mood.

I put Bella into her crib and turned to find Shawn standing behind me with empty arms. He had placed Heather into her crib and to my surprise he had a different look on his face. “Did we actually get them both to sleep at the same time?” I figured he was going to lecture me, but he didn’t. He walked over and put his arms around my waist. “So how long do we have before one wakes up?” His second question came with a grin.

I took a few steps back and turned around. Within a few minutes he was behind me with his arms back around my waist. “Are you okay?” I figured maybe I should answer his question. “Yes, just tired.” I threw my head back against his chest and stood there for a moment.  He stepped back and turned me around to face him. “lets take a nap like we used to when it was just Heather.” The words he spoke were great. I nodded my head and then walked over to my side of the bed. I sat down and then slow slid down onto my pillow.

He slid down beside me and pulled me into his arms. He kissed my neck a few times before I fell asleep. I do not remember much after that, but the sound of Bella crying and then Shawn’s voice, “I got her.” I drifted back off to sleep, but not before hearing the soft words that he spoke the the girl to get her calmed down.

After the girls were calmed down and sleeping again Shawn informed me that he had to leave once again. It was time for him to go to work and he was having to go and interview the staff at the spa. I knew that he was going for more than just that, but I was not one to complain about the treatment that he was going for.

With both of the girls sleeping I was able to get in a quick nap. I hadn’t had a nap in weeks and was jellous because he could get them to sleep so easy.

About three hours later I woke to the sound of Heather playing in her crib. I figured that it would be best if I got up because once she started to cry it was going to be bad. Her cry usually made Bella cry.

The next few weeks actually went by pretty smoothly. Every one in the home was ready for a birthday. Shawn and Heather, then Bella and I.

While I was busy with Bella most of the time I would hear the sound of low reading coming from the other room. Shawn would be sitting on the floor with Heather in his arms reading a book. It gave me the time I needed to take care of the younger of our two children.

When Shawn and I had gotten married, I knew that he was older than me, but the morning that he woke up and his hair was completely white with age, it sunk in. I was not sure what I was going to do if I had lost him while the girls were still young.

Heather was going to head off to school soon and Bella would be right behind her, but was I strong enough to raise my children alone if I had to.

In a few months it was Heather’s turn to have a birthday. She looked like I did as a child, but then had a lot of her father’s traits. She was brilliant as well.

One morning after I had given Isabella her morning bottle and was getting ready to clean the house my phone rang. “hello.” I said gently. A few minutes later the principal at the elementary school introduced himself once again and then said that he had some great news for me.

“Ma’am due to your daughter’s test scores we would like to enroll her into private school.” I could not believe what I was hearing. They wanted to put Heather into private school. “I would have to talk it over with my husband first.” I said without even thinking. The principal said that I had a week to make my decision and that he would hold a spot for her as long as I agreed to call him back within that time.

I hung the phone up and turned around to find my daughter had fallen asleep. I decided that a nap was going to be good for the both of us and took her upstairs to put her into her crib.

Before Heather left for private school we celebrated Bela’s birthday. I was so upset when I looked down at my daughter and noticed that she was bald.

I knew that it happened, but why did it have to happen to my baby girl. Shawn kept telling me that it would grow in soon and that I would just have to wait, but I did not want to have to wait. I wanted my daughter to have hair now and be like I was when I was a baby.

When It came to logic, Heather was brilliant. She loved to play chess, look through her telescope at night and investigate with her chemistry set. One day she had come home from school and ran straight out the door without a word and I wondered what was wrong. Usually I got a hug or something.

I had also talked to the principal and agreed to send her to the private school. I had asked the principal to let us tell her, but he said that it was school policy and he had to notify all of the children who would be going.

It was abnormal for her to ignore me and I was going to find out what was going on, “Heather come in here please.” I said from the kitchen door.

Heather put down her project and came running into the house. “Did I do something wrong?” She asked. I shook my head and looked down at her. “No, but I was wondering if everything was alright because you said nothing when you came in.” I was not going to beat around the bush about it.

“Yes, I am mad at you because you are sending me away.” She showed a little anger as she answered. ” I realized now that the principal had told her. “We are not sending you away we are giving you the chance to get a five-star education and to advance with your skills in chemistry.”

“I don’t want to go away, I want to stay here with you.” She started to cry as she explained how bad she wanted to stay with us. I was starting to feel bad about my choice to have her go to one of the best private schools in the country. “Heather you are able to come home as much as possible, but your father and I feel this is the best thing for you.”

“What if I don’t go?” Heather was going to try everything that she could think of not to go to the school. I was not going to let her not go. “You are going and that is final.”  The tears came even faster now.

“Daddy will let me stay.” She was determined not to have to leave and still did not understand why we were sending her. “Heather you will not get what you need here and sending you is the best thing.” I was going to try and make it easier for her to understand. “You will meet new friends and have fun.”

As I stood there watching my daughter cry I did the only thing that I could think of. I pulled her into my arms and just let her cry. She cried for a while and then pulled back. “I will go, but can I come home if I do not like it?” That was the best response I had heard and agreed that if she did not like the school then she could come home.

A few minutes later she pulled away from me and ran back outside to play. I headed up the stairs to see if I could find Shawn and knew that he probably was with Isabella.

The next morning I got ready for work and decided to bring the situation up with Shawn again. “Has she packed?” He asked as I turned to check the mirror. I nodded and then turned. “She was so upset last night and refused to go, but when I checked on her later she was getting things packed.”

He nodded and walked over to the crib where Bella was sleeping. “Are we doing the right thing?” I asked in a quiet voice so I didn’t wake my sleeping baby. He turned and walked over to me. “We both know that she is not going to get a good education if she is stuck here.” He was usually right about things and thought about choices before we made them.

“You know that once Bella gets old enough and qualifies she will be sent to private school as well.” He grabbed my hand to try and soothe me, but it was not really working. “I know that, but isn’t this more like boarding school than a private school?” I had looked over the papers several times and was not sure about our choice.

Shawn and I talked about it for a few moments later until Heather was at the door saying the cars were here. I had to get to work and so did Shawn. Heather was excited because she was going in a limo.

Heather hugged us both and ran out the door. Her face was perfect that morning as she ran to get into the waiting car. I gave the sitter money so that she was paid when I got home from work. I leaned over and kissed Shawn quickly as I rushed to my own waiting car. He also had to run to meet his before they drove on.

I decided then that we needed our own car. I would look later that day and see what I could find. I had also made Heather promise me that she would call as soon as she got to the school to let us know that she made it safely.

Work was busy that day and I also got promoted for the hard work that I had done while I was on maternity leave. I was not going to let my job suffer jsut because I had a baby.

When I got home that night and sent the sitter home, I took Bella upstairs for her nightly reading and then put her to bed. The house was to quiet without Heather there. I was not sure if I was going to make it through the next few years without the laughter of my daughter, but knew that what I had done was the best thing for her.

Sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I have been busy with school work and now had the greatest gift this year. A friend of mine came to visit for a while so this may be the only chapter this month. We will have to wait and see.

Times were hard without my mother. My brother, sister and I made sure that mom was placed right next to dad and that way they could spend the rest of eternity together. My brother, sister, and I did not talk much after that. I guess mom was the reason that we all were so close. Maybe it was dad also, but I had a daughter to raise and a husband to take care of.

When it came to teaching Heather to walk and talk, that was easy. She had a bad temper when it came to other things. When it was time to eat she was going to let the entire house know and the bad things was it happened usually around five in the morning.

My days consisted of keeping house and then taking care of her when she was awake. I did most of the cleaning while she slept, but spent more time when she was awake playing and reading to her. When Shawn was home he spent most of his time with her. We hardly had time for each other.

Due to the fact that Shawn liked the night, he got up with her when she would wake up needing changed, or just wanted something to eat. He would also make sure that she had her food in the morning and then he would come and get me up before he had to go to work. One morning was funny though because I did not want to get up.

Shawn came into the room and placed Heather into her crib. He walked over and leaned on the bed next to me. “Gwen, you need to get up, I have to go to work soon.” he would then kiss me and try to coax me out of the bed. For some reason I did not want to get up and was not even sure why. “Not yet.” i whispered in a sleepy voice. I jsut wanted to sleep.  “Come on Gwen let’s go.” he kept his voice low and kind the entire time. I knew if I gave it a little he would give into me.

I slid my hands around his neck and pulled him down next to me. I know that he had a good forty-five minutes before he had to leave so i could play around for a while. “Stay here with me.” I said as I ran my hands through his hair. “You know that I have to go to work today.” he said as he grabbed my hands and tried to sit me up in the bed. “Please call in.” I tried to persuade him, but it did not seem to work.

He pulled one last time and I was up. I was irritated that I could not have gotten him to get back in bed with me just for a little while, but I knew how much his job ment to him. “I need alone time with you.” I said as I whipped sleep from my eyes. He sat down next to me and said,” I have no plans tonight so put Heather to bed early and you have all the time you need.” He kissed me then got up and kissed Heather.

In a few minutes he was out the door and on his way to work. I got out of bed and walked over to the crib. Heather was sitting there playing with her blanket. her face lit up as I picked her up out of the crib and headed down the stairs.

While Heather slept and Shawn was at work I would try to keep up with the things for my own job while I was on leave. I could not wait until I could go back to work and which ment I wanted this baby out of me. Being pregnant the second time was really simple. Shawn and I had not planned on having more children, but when I found out that I was pregnant once again we were thrilled.

Shawn wanted another daughter and so did I, but I was a bit concerned that I could have twins because I was the product of a twin. I had also tried to keep in contact with my brother who had sold the house after my parents had both died. He said that he just could not keep living in the house with them not there. My sister had moved to Bridgeport and was trying to find a rich man to marry her. She really had not skills and she had never had a job so I knew things were going to be hard for her.

As the days got closer for the baby to arrive I started to get excited, but a little worried because Shawn and I had not picked out at name. I knew what I would call her if it were a girl, but I was not sure what I was going to do if I had a boy. Shawn needed a son and I was determined to give him one if I could, but I was done after this baby.  I had not yet told him that I did not want any more children after this baby got here, but I also did not tell him I did not want any more after I had Heather. Heather was the child that I should not have had at such a young age. When I got pregnant with her I was still classified as a baby and now she was almost three. Where had the time gone.

The closer I got to the end of my pregnancy, the more I wanted my mother. I couldn’t belive that I was going to bring her second grandchild into the world and she was not going to ever see it. Shawn tried to keep me positive that everything was going to be okay and that we would be fine.

That same week we moved into another house. This one was twice the size of the other one so I knew that we would have plenty of room for out family. I was not sure what I was going to do with a house this size, but I knew that I would figure it out.

Heather took most of her father’s time. If Shawn was not at work he was with her. They were either playing with the toys that we had gotten to fill her toy box, or they were reading. It helped me out a lot because the last month of my pregnancy was a bad one. I hurt all of the time and just wished that this baby would come out.

Shawn and I had gone to bed a little later than usual when the contractions started. I was sitting on the edge of the bed and had just slipped off my slippers when the contractions started. I couldn’t believe it. “Shawn.” I whispered intot he darkness. I heard him make a noise and then flip the light on. “What is wrong?” He asked with a concerned look on his face. I guess he was used to this because the last month I did it a lot. “I think we need to go to the hospital.”

Without complaint, Shawn crawled out of bed and walked over to the crib where Heather was sleeping. He gently lifted the baby out of the crib and headed down the stairs. In a few minutes I was behind him opening the door so we could walk the block to the hospital. It was just around the corner from the house we had bought.

Almost an hour later the doctor came in to confirm that I was in labor and that we would have a baby in the next few hours. The contractions were mild and it did not bother me as bad. Heather was worse. I was sure that I was having a boy and then the world would be complete. So I thought.

Almost six hours later I was handed a little baby. “You have another daughter.” I heard the nurse say as she layed the baby into my arms. “What should we name her?” Shawn leaned it to take a look at his new baby girl. I had to think about that for a while. “Well, how about Isabella.” I said as I tightened the blanket around her. Shawn smiled as he looked over where Heather was sleeping to find her awake.

“Come to daddy Heather.” he said as he opened his arms. She got off the chair and walked over to him and put her arms up. Shawn picked her up and then turned around to where I was. “Heather this is your new baby sister Isabella.” Shawn smiled as the little girl looked at the baby and then at her father.

“No, sissy.” Heather started to cry and she buried her head into ther father’s shoulder. Shawn tried to calm the girl down before Isabella started crying. It made things clear to em how the next few years were going to go.

Heather had seemed to accept her sister once she started to sleep all night. I spent most of the day taking care of Bella, but made sure that as soon as the girl took a nap, Heather had my attention. There were some times when Bella would stay in her crib and be good and I was able o read a book to Heather. I was starting to wish the birthdays would come soon.

Shawn worked a lot more now that we had both of the girls and the house to pay for. I was waiting until the doctor gave me the okay to go back to work and then I would be able to help him a little. I had also made it clear to him that I did not want any more children. It was a good idea because he was so much older than I was and I did not want him to miss out on any of the children. He seemed okay with it, but I knew int he back of my mind that he would have loved to have a boy.

Shawn and I got married a few weeks later. He said that he wanted to be married before the baby came and that was fine with me. My parents were not happy with the fact that I was pregnant so young and also the fact that I had taken to pre-marital sex, but they were not me and they did not understand that Shawn and I were in love with each other. “You may be in love now, but believe me that is all going to change one day and you will wake up wondering what you did with your life.” My mother had said this over and over through the last few weeks, but I was not going to let it bother me.

After getting arrested and then having mom and I bail him out of jail, dad decided that it was time to retire. He was also looking forward to seeing his first grandchild. The day that I announced that I was expecting, something in him had changed. He seemed to be happier and more alive.  I was excited for him and myself.

I think the happiest person was Shawn. “I want a boy.” he said as he rubbed my belly for me and then watched as my face changed. “No, we are having a girl.” I had a feeling that it was going to be a girl. Mom said that she got the same feeling when she was pregnant with me and my twin sister.

“Are you sure this baby is a girl?” He smiled at me as he spoke. He knew that I was not sure and I was not going to find out until it was time for the baby to come. “Shawn now that is stupid because you know I don’t know.” I was getting frustrated with him fussing over my stomach. What was going to happen next, he going to regulate what I ate.

Shawn leaned back up and took me in his arms, “I am sorry, but I am just excited.” I couldn’t help but chuckle a little. He had become very excited with the baby on the way. “I know and I am to, but wish that it was over already.” Shawn kissed me instead of answering. I guess he figured that it would make me feel better if he would just focus on me.

“Did you have a good day?” he asked once he stopping kissing me. I nodded and was going to show him the things that I hd picked up at the store, but he would not let me go. “Shawn….” I giggled as he made it to where I could not move. “Where you going?” He asked as he tightened his grip just a little more.

“I was going to go get something to show you that I got today.”  I still had my arms around his neck and was wondering what was going on. He had not been like this in several months and I figured that it was because I had gotten a little fatter than before, but come on he was not a skinny man. “Can it wait?” He said as he kiss my neck. I was pretty sure now what he was getting at.

“What is on your mind?” I decided to play his game and see what he was up to. I had a feeling and also had no objections to it. “Are you sure you want to know?” He bit his bottom lip and kissed me again. I nodded waiting to see what he was thinking. “Lets go up stairs and I will show you.” He grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs to out bedroom.

At least I can say that we had no problems when it came to the activities in the bedroom. After we had finished I layed there with him for a while until the phone rang. “Why not let the machine get it?” Shawn said as he snuggled up to me. “You know that I can’t because of my dad.” My dad had gotten sick a few weeks ago and still had not gotten over it.

Shawn helped me get up and he also was nice and got my shoes. “I should not be gone to long tonight.” i said as I leaned over and kissed him. He nodded. “I have a review to write tonight so I may not be here when you get back.” I had gotten used to the fact that he was doing another mans work and it really didn’t bother me because in the end it would come out that Shawn did it. A few minutes later I was standing i my parents livingroom with my mother. “How have you been feeling Gwen?” Mom seemed to be okay with the baby the further along I got. “I have been doing good, no longer getting sick which is a plus.”  Mom filled me in on what my brother and sister had been doing. “Your sister is still living off of us and refuses to get a job.” I could not believe what I was hearing.

“Did she get a scholarship for school when she graduated?” Gretchen and I had graduated from high school almost five years ago and I was working already after attending school. My sister on the other hand refused to get a job and still had in her head that she was going to marry a rich man and live happily ever after.

“Well, I guess she did, but I do not remember much any more.” Mom was starting to forget things and I knew that in no time she would forget her family and we would have to put her in a home. I hopped that it was after she got to see her grandchild and was able to form a few memories.

After talking for a while I jumped right to the point of why I came over. “How is daddy today?” I made it to where she could not remember if she called me to come over or not. She smiled and then her face went dark. “He has had better days, but it just seems like today he does not want to eat, or even get out of that bed.” My heart ached for my mother because I knew how much she loved him.

“Can I go up and see him?” I asked in a low voice because I had heard the front door open. Mom nodded and I headed for the stiars. When I turned and looked to see who had come in, it was my sister. “Hey Gwen.” She said in a cheerful voice. It made me mad that she acted like nothing was ever wrong.  Instead of saying something to her I started up the stairs.

I got to the door of my parents and found it closed. I gently knocked and heard some one from inside say come in. That was not my father’s voice. I opened the door to find my brother sitting by the bed. “Dad, Gwen is here.” He said in a low voice. I watched as my dad opened his eyes and gave a small smile. “Hey there little one.” he said in a low sleepy voice.

“Dad, I am not going to stay long because I can see you are tired, but I just wanted to come and see you today.” I tried not to cry, but if I did I would have just blamed it on being pregnant. After about thirty minutes with my dad I decided that it was time to head home. I hugged him and my brother and then headed down the stairs to find my mother.

When I found her she was sitting at the kitchen table just staring at the wall. “Mom, he will be okay, but if you need me call.” She looked up at me and then smiled. “When did you get here Gwen?” I knew we would have to do something soon. I went over and hugged her and told her that I had been there for a while and that we had talked about dad and the baby. Then I told her it was time for me to go home. She said okay and I then pulled Gretchen aside. “You take care of her and if anything is to happen you call me.” Gretchen agreed and I walked out to get in the car.

Over the next few months, dad would get worse than get better and then mom would have one of her days. I had gone several times to get her from the store and take her home. After which I would yell at Gretchen because she would not be watching her.

I was a little over nine months pregnant when I started the labor process. I made sure that when I got to the hospital they called Shawn at the newspaper office and told him. The next six hours went by fast and within a few minutes the nurse handed me a little baby wrapped in a pink blanket. “See I told you it was a girl.” I told Shawn through the tears. He smiled at me and then kissed his daughter on the head and then me. “Are you happy?” He asked. I nodded several times and then just sat there looking at the child we had created.

We named her Heather. A few days later we were able to take her home. No sooner had I gotten her snuggly in her crib and was going to lie down for a while the phone rang. “Hello,” I said. I heard some soft sobbing and then a cracky voice, “Gwen,it is your father, you need to come now.” I dropped the phone and it smacked against. the wall. “SHAWN!” I screamed. I didn’t know that he was right behind me.

I felt his arms slide around my waist. “What is it.” He said as he kissed my neck. I shrugged him off and turned. “We have to take Heather and go to my parents house, it is my dad.” My face was white because I knew it was bad.

When I got to my parents house, I found my mother standing on the sidewalk. “Mom, what is wrong?” She looked as though she was in a daze. I hugged her and then tried a different approach. “mom this is your granddaughter Heather.”  Mom looked down at her and then up at me. “I am to young to have a grandchild, my daughters are just babies.”

I led my mother back into the house and then went to find my brother. “Gaven, what happened?” His back was to me so I could not see his face. I heard him sniffle and then he answered, “I am sorry Gwen, but dad passed away about twenty minutes ago.” Another sniffle and then my brother broke down.  Before the tears came I felt Heather being taken from my arms. “I got her.” Shawn whispered in my ear.

I turned to the stairs and ran up them. My daddy was not dead. He was sleeping in his bed like he had for the last nine months. When I got to the door it was open. “Daddy.” I said as I walked in. No answer. “Daddy.” I got a little louder. Still nothing. It him me then. My father was gone. My knees gave out on me, but I did not hit the floor. Some one had caught me and I was being sat in a chair. I looked up to see Shawn’s face.

“Where is Heather?” I was starting to think clearly. Shawn pointed to the crib in the corner. I looked over to see my daughter fast asleep. I put my face in my hands and let the tears fall. Shawn sat down on the arm of the chair and held me.

Once I calmed down I got up and went to find my mother. I was not sure what was gong through her mind, but I wanted her to understand that dad was gone. When I did find her she was in the bathroom. I walked in to find her standing in the middle of the room looking around.

“Mom, are you oaky?” I asked as I approached her. She looked up at me and smiled. “Yes, but we need to be quiet because dad is sleeping.” She had no idea. The words that came out of her mouth irritated me. “Mom, he is not sleeping, he is dead.” I watched her movement as she started to tear up. I got closer to her and put my arms around her. “He is sleeping.” She demanded.

I opened the door and yelled for my brother to help me. “She has to understand Gaven that dad is gone.” I could not do this alone. “Mom, Gwen is right, dad is gone.” It sunk in for my mother. She started crying and then hit the floor. Gaven tried to catch her, but it was no good. She slid down the wall and onto the floor.

A few hours later after mom had been calmed down and the body of my father had been removed from the house Shawn and I took Heather home. Shawn had to work and I needed sleep. I didn’t know what to think or how to help my mother, but sleeping that night was impossible.

A year later we celebrated Heather’s brithday. Gaven had taken complete control of the care for our mother after the death of our father. I had really worried about her and knew there was really nothing that I could do.

After Heather turned two, I compared her to my baby pictures and was amazed to see how much we looked alike. I hopped that she would have some of the same traits as my father and maybe one day want to be just like him. It made me sad to think that she would never get to know him like I did. Even Shawn knew my father better than she did.

Six months after Heathers birthday I got a very upsetting call. When I answered the phone it was my mother. “Mom, what is wrong?” A few minutes later she answered the phone. “They are locking me in the room and won’t let me out.” This was hard to believe because Gaven and Gretchen said they gave mom the space that she needed and she was allowed to go through the house and even outside to make sure that her plants were okay. “Mom, is Gaven, or Gretchen there?”

“Gretchen is on a date and Gaven is outside, but I can’t get out of this room.” She sounded really worried. “Okay I will grab Heather and be on my way.”  I hung up the phone and grabbed Heather. Shawn had just gotten pomoted for the articles that he had been writing and was off reviewing the stadium and the game that was playing. I wrote a quick note for him and stuck it on the door so that he would see it. He had known that if mom, or one of the others called and said there was a problem that I had to go and make sure that everything was okay.

When I got there mom was standing outside on the walkway. “Mom, I thought you were locked in your room?” I adjusted Heather on my hip and waited for a response. “Are you nuts, I am the owner of this house and can do as I please.” I wanted to laugh a little but had decided that it was better I didn’t.

“Where is Gaven?” I asked as I moved Heather back to the other side. Mom pointed towards the garden and then followed as I walked over to it. “Gaven, can we talk for a second?” I said as I got within earshot. He stopped what he was doing and started towards me. “Mom would you like to sit here in the grass and play with Heather for a second?” Mom agreed and sat down with Heather in her lap.

Gaven and I walked a few steps away and then I spoke, “You have to watch her a little better because she called me and said you were locking her in her room.” I kept my voice low and calm. “Gwen you know that we don’t, but it is getting harder to make sure she stays safe.” I knew that it was hard on him, but I could not move her in with me because I was going back to work soon. “Maybe it is time we put her in a home.” The words tasted bitter because I did not want to do that.

Gaven agreed to watch her a little closer and make sure that Gretchen understood what was going on after I left. I had never immagined that it was the last time that I was ever going to see my mother. A few weeks later I got a phone call from Gretchen stating that mom had passed away in her sleep. It broke me to think that I was never going to see her again, but also made me happy because she was going to be with the love of her life.

My life was great. I had a man who loved me and the best job ever. I was happy with the way things were at that moment. Every night we had Shawn and I spent together. He said that he would rather come to my house then his own because of the number of people who were still living with him.

“Shawn am I ever going to see your house?” I asked one night as I curled up to him. He had promised not to leave and that when I got up in the morning he would be there. “Yes, maybe next weekend while my brother is away you can come over and stay.” He had made hat statement several times before. I knew that Shawn was not poor and that his house was three times bigger than what I had.

We were just getting ready to fall asleep when the familiar sound of his phone went off. “Ignore it please.” I whispered in the dark. I could not stand it if he had to leave once again. “You know that I can’t and I wish this would stop happening.” Shawn pulled me even closer to him. “We have a while.” he whispered into my hair.

Shawn and I made love one last time before he got dressed and walked out of the door again. He had only stayed with me a few times and I wondered when the day would come that I would wake up every morning to find him there. I was angry because they took him away from me more than I could make him stay. I wanted him for good and with them in the way I could have him to myself.

I fell asleep shortly after he left and woke early to get ready for work. Maybe having to work the next morning would take my mind off of him, but then remembering that he worked in the same building just made it worse. No sooner did we both get to work we would sneak off to a closet just for a few minutes of alone time. I did not see the harm in it because it was not time for work.

At lunch we would head to my house because I made better food than the cafeteria did and I also made sure that Shawn was full before we headed back. Also going to my house got us away from the others we worked with. Our boss knew that we were seeing each other and we just got the be careful lecture.

I had just finished changing the way I wore my hair when the phone rang. I was not sure, but sort of hopped that it was Shawn. We had not really talked in a week and every time I asked him to come over he said that he was unable to.

“Hello.” I said gently into the phone. There was a short pause and then a tone that I was used to. “Gwen, you need to come over it is your father.” It was my mother and she sounded really worried. Some things had gone through my head in that split second I was quiet. “I am on my way.” I said as I hung up the phone. I called my boss on the way and told him tha I was not going to be in because I had a family emergency. He said that it was fine and that he would see me the next day.

“When i walked up the walkway to my parents home. All of the curtains had been pulled on the window and dad’s tour bus was outside. Oh God what happened! I was not sure what was going on, but my legs started to move a little faster. I jogged the rest of the way to the door and swung it open. “MOM!” I yelled inside. A few minutes later she was at the top of the stairs. “Come up here.” She said.

I followed her into her bedroom and then closed the door behind me. My sister was standing there sort of in a daze so I knew that mom had my full attention. “Where is dad?” I had noticed his crew members downstairs, but dad was not there. She hesitated for a while before she answered. “Well, that could be a funny story if you want to look at it this way, your father and the band were in Tulsa when a mob attacked the bus.” She had a bit of a smile on her face as she continued her story.

“Any way your dad thought that he was going to be helpful and got int he middle of the mob trying to break them up., but when the police got there they did not care who started it, or if any one was trying to break them up.” Her smile had gotten worse. “Well, now your dad is sitting in a jail in Tulsa and we have to figure out how we are going to get him home.” Gretchen was standing next to me laughing now, but I doubted that it had anything to do with what mom and I were talking about.

“Mom, if you need the money to get dad, then I will get it for you.” I had a lot of money saved from working and Shawn for some reason had told me that he was going to help me out any way that he could. I still had not told my mother a lot about him.

Mom and I had agreed to call the police department in Tulsa and bail my dad out of jail after explaining the situation to them. Now I guess it was time for her and I to catch up because after she got off the phone she turned and asked, “So I hear that you and Shawn Baxter are seeing each other.” I had no idea that she knew about that. I had told her the other day that I was dating some one from the office, but had never given her a name.

“Yes, he is a nice guy mom, you would like him.” I smiled as I spoke because I wanted her to see that I really liked him. “So am I going to be seeing my daughter get married soon?” She was focused on my face. I guess it was time to ask question and see if she could help me figure out what was going on. “Actually I think that you might be a grandmother before then mom.” I couldn’t believe what I was saying.

“Do you think that yu are…pregnant?” Her look was priceless, but scary. She had never been with a man until she married my dad and now I was telling her that I was having sex and not married. “Mom, don’t overreact on me please because this is not good for me either, but I don’t know.” I was trying to calm her, but stay calm myself.

After getting dad out of jail and then spending the next two weeks alone due to court and work, I had completely forgotten about if I were pregnant or not until my clothes did not fit. I hurried down to the store and picked up one of those tests that tells you in just a few minutes.

It was horrible for me because I was just starting to advance in my career to see the words “PREGNANT” across the read out screen. What was I going to do? I was not ready to be a mother and definitely not ready in my career. I was also not sure what Shawn was going to say or do. I also did not want to tell him right away, but we had a date later and what was I going to say? I could not pass off that I was fat because he knew better than that.

I grabbed my cell phone from the table and dialed his number. I was hoping that he was at home and not busy. A few minutes later the other end picked up, “Hey baby, I should be heading that way here in thirty minutes or so.” I took in the words like a sponge and then decided to say something, “Shawn would you mind coming over now, I need to talk to you about something?” I was trying to keep my voice calm, but it was hard.

“Sure, but is everything okay you sound strange.” He always knew when there was something wrong with me. I hesitated and then said the first thing that came to my mind, “Yes, but I just want to discuss something important with you and it can’t wait.” There maybe he would come running with that. “Okay, I am getting into my car now and should be there in about five minutes.” We hung up the phone as I heard his car start. I was going to prepare myself for this because I was not even sure what I was going to say.

I walked into the bathroom and washed my face real quick because he would know something was really up if he saw the remaining signs of tears. I was happy, but then not because I was not ready to have a baby and if he chose not to be with me because of that then I did not know what I was going to do.

When I came out of the bathroom he was standing there in my living room. I hurried over to him and kissed him. “So what is so important that you could not wait to talk to me about?” He smiled at me and then ran his fingers down the side of my face and down my arm. “Shawn it is actually something that I need to show you.” I walked back into the bathroom and grabbed the test off the sink.

When I turned around I bumped into him, “Did I ever tell you that I love the way you walk and can watch you all day?” he wrapped his arms around my waist. I took the test in one hand and put it behind my back as I brought the other up around his neck. “So what is that behind your back?” He said as my hand caught his attention. I tried to distract him for a few minutes more, but it was not working.  He grabbed my other hand and removed the test from it.

“Is this what I think it is?” He asked looking at the test. I couldn’t help it now. As I looked at him and then back at the test the tears came again. “Yes, I am pregnant and you’re the father.” I couldn’t help it now. Tears were streaming down my face. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

“Gwen are you telling me that I am going to be a father?” I still had not looked at his face. I noticed that his tone was excited and also mellow. He put his hand under my chin and tiled my head up to look him in the eyes. “Are you telling me that we are having a baby?” he had a faint smile on his face. “Yes.” I said as I nodded.

“Are you happy about this?” I asked as he slid his hands back around my waist. He had never even said if he wanted the baby or not. “Of course I am happy, I love you and want to be with you.” he kissed me several times before stepping back, but not letting go.

Shawn pulled me up against him in a hug. “I am thrilled about this.” he said as he kissed me several times. “Look I am not doing this because of what you just found out, but..” My heart sank because I just knew that he was going to leave me. “I want you to marry me.” My heart stopped. “You want me to what?” I said as I looked up at him. “Marry me Gwen.” He never called me Gwen.

“Are you serious?” I asked as I started to cry harder. He brought his fingers up to my face and wipped my tears away. “Say you will because I love you and I want you to be my wife.”  Before I could answer he kissed me again. This time with more love then I had ever felt before. When he let me catch my breath and the tears stopped he stood there waiting for an answer. “Please..” he whispered.

I was going to say no, but when my mouth opened I heard another answer, “Yes.” He hugged me again and kissed me. “When we are married I want you to move in with me.” He said as He let me go. I had not problems with moving in with him.  I actually liked the idea.

Shawn reached into his pocket and pulled out a small gold band. “Wear this until I can get you another one please.” He showed me the ring and grabbed my hand. I watched as he slipped it on. “It is perfect.” 

After he slid the ring on my finger I fiddled with it for a while. I was not sure now what to do because I had never been in this situation. I was pregnant and now engaged to a great man who wanted me because of me and not because of the baby that I was going to have.

“Do you want a big wedding, or a small one?” He asked as we stood there looking at each other. “Just the family and event he JP would suit me.” I did not care how we got married as long as we were married.

Shawn and I had been dating for almost eight months and things were great. He had never stayed the night at my house and he was always respectful when he was there. He did make comments about how small my house was and that he lived in a mansion on the other side of town. The only reason he did was because his parents had bought it before they died.

I had also never been to his house. I was always safer having him come to my home maybe because my parents were just across the street. My brother could have kicked his but if I needed him to and my sister, well she would have just drove him nuts like she did with the rest of the family.

Like he had done for the last few months, Shawn came over for dinner, and then we were going to watch a movie when he stopped me next to the stairs. “Gwen stop.” He held onto my arm. He had never done this before and it sort of scared me a little. I jerked my arm free, “What?” I smiled at his as I got ready to walk again.

He stopped me once again. “Gwen please stop.” He ran his hand down my arm and then around my waist. I turned to face him. “Gwen, I want more than this, more than dinner, more than movies like every other night.” He ran his hand up my arm while the other he kept wrapped around my waist.

I was not sure what he was meaning, but I wanted to know. “We can do something else if you want.” I said as I moved even closer to him. I guess you could say that I was ready for whatever he decided he wanted to do next. Maybe he was going to propose to me and then we could really start a life together. Maybe he was just wanting to find something other than movies to go and watch. I had no idea.

He leaned in and kiss me on the neck.  The next few minutes we spent making out and just enjoying each other. By his lingering hands and where he was kissing me I had an idea of what he wanted to do, but now I was not even sure if I was ready for that.

As he ran his hands all over my body he gently kissed my neck and whispered my name into my ear. Then all of a sudden he stopped and had me look at him face to face. “Do you love me?” I had told him several times how much I loved him and now he was asking me. “Yes.” I whispered, “More than you will ever know.”

“Make love to me.” The words came out before I knew what I was saying. Shawn did not hesitate once. He began kissing me again and then I led him up to my room. If we were going to do this then it was going to be done right.

We spent the next few hours tangled in the sheets on my bed. Shawn was amazing. Before he had his way with me he made sure I knew what I wanted him to do and also made sure I knew what was going to happen. I knew what I was dong. I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him.

When he had finished he slid down next to me and pulled me into his arms. For the next hour he gently kissed me and told me how much he loved me. “Are you okay?” he whispered while he held me. I nodded and then kissed him. I was happy.

A few minutes later the sound of a phone snapped us into reality. He looked over at his phone and then pulled me into his arms. “I have to go.” he said as he kissed me. I snuggled up to him thinking that maybe he would decide to stay with me for a while longer. “Baby, I really have to go.” He said as he tightened his grip on me. I did not want him to leave not after what had just happened. I wanted him to stay with me.

Shawn let go of me and rolled off of the bed to sit on it.  I crawled over to him and put my arms around his neck from behind. “You sure you want to leave?” I whispered in his ear.  He stood up and put his clothes back on and then turned back to where I was sitting. “You are nuts to think I would want to leave you, if I could stay and wasn’t needed at home I would be in that bed with you right now.” he leaned down and kissed me. “Then stay.” I said as I pulled back.

After a few minutes I let him leave. I knew that he had things to do at home and that he was needed there, but I wanted to be selfish as well. We loved each other and had to live in different places for a while.

I didn’t even bother getting dressed. I hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen. I wanted a quick snack before I headed back to my room to get some sleep. Shawn had also said that he would call in the morning before I left for work and I didn’t want him to wake me.

After thirty minutes I was back in my bed holding on to the pillow that he had been lying on. I could not get enough of the way he smelled. I also started thinking about what had just happened and how happy I was. Sleep came shortly after I placed the pillow down next to me. I couldn’t believe that I was in love with him.

I was on my own. Even though my parents lived just across the street I felt a bit of freedom and I opened my eyes the first day in my own home. I had a good job with lots of opportunity for advancement and I had already decided that I was not going to spend the rest of my life in this house.

Maybe the day that I move out of this house I will let my brother, or sister have it, or maybe I would keep it to give to one of my children for their first home. I had not decided yet and there was plenty of time for that. I had to get my career started and make the money that I had dreamed about when I was younger. I was thrilled to be away from my parents. I knew that my mother did not like the career choice that I had made and that she wished that I were more like my brother.

She should have looked at Gretchen’s choice. Gretchen wanted to marry rich and never work a day in her life. She was nuts for thinking that a man would marry her and never expect her to work.

The first day of my new job, I made sure that I woke early to take a bath and get a hot meal into me. I wanted to be prepared for the first day and dad had always told me to never go to work hungry because it made the entire day go bad.

I did not have the time today to go over and see my mom, but was going to put it into my schedule. I hopped that maybe she would want to see me. She had bought me the house that I was living in, but still she was angry that I had not decided to join the farming life like my older brother.

When I got home after work that day I decided that I was going to sit down and work on the book that I had planned on writing. When I was younger I had this dream of being a writer along with a successful business woman who was able to give her family everything they could ever want.

The book that I had started was a children’s book. I found the subject to be interesting, but the publisher that I was working with had asked me to change a few things that he said was boring. Why should writers have to go through publishers instead of just writing the book, publishing it, and then letting the readers figure out if they like it or not.

I had finally made it over to my parents house with some one there. It was not my mother, but I was happy to see my brother Gaven. “How is work going?” He asked as I followed him inside. I was glad to see him. “Work is great, but where is mom?” I had not seen her in a few months.

“She went with dad this week to China.” Gaven set his papers down on the desk and then sat in the chair. “Sorry sis, but I have work to do.” That I guess was my que to head home.

I needed to get home any way because I had a date with a guy that worked in my building. His name was Shawn and he was cute. I was a little shocked when he asked me out.  We had decided to meet a the pool because there were going to be plenty of people there. I still had to shower and then get ready.

Every night for a month we met at the pool just to hang out. When Shawm hugged me for the first time it was shocking. I had feelings for him, but figured that it was just me.  “I really like you Gwen.” he said as he pulled back, but still had his arms around me.  I could not believe what I was hearing. He liked me.

“Shawn, I like you to.” I said as I struggled to get loose, but he would not let me go. “Shawn..” I whispered. With the sound of my voice he pulled me in even closer to him. I could not believe this. I had found a guy that said he liked me, but was putting off that it was more than that.

What happened next could not have been more perfect. Shawn kissed me. I was now head over heals for this guy and really did not know why. I mean he was smart, funny, and charming, but he was a little heavier than what I had wanted. I guess it does not matter what the person looks like on the outside. It is what is inside that matters.

After the second mont of meeting at the pool we needed something new. our normal routine was to meet up there, go swimming for a while, and then hide in a corner making out until I said I had to go. “Gwen, I need to tell you something.” Shawn said as he leaned his head up, but his breath blew through my hair. “What?” I said trying to catch my breath.

He put his two fingers under my chin and leaned my head back so that my eyes met his. “I love you.” He gazed into my eyes for a while before what I said, I figured I would never tell some one. “I love you too.” He then kissed me again and this time it was different. His hands ran up and down my arms causing goose bumps to form. I wanted to ask him to come home with me, but knew that it was a bad idea because of my parents right there.

“Shawn, I have to go.” I said as I pulled away enough for him to see me speaking. “Why?” He did not have to work in the morning, but I did. “I have to work, can you come over when I get off?” I had finally invited him to my house. I was going to have some one come over to my house. oh crap I need to clean my house!  “sure call me when you leave the office.”

With that we both said good night and I headed for a cab. I was now wishing that I had bought me a car, but it was okay. I wanted to call my mom and tell her about all that had happened tonight. She had told me several weeks ago that I needed to take things slow with Shawn and not to do anything that would draw attention to our family. “I waited until I was married to have sex and you should do the same.” her words rang though my ears.