---

Kada je ljubav tu, svaka misao je čarolija.
Pitam se: ako je čarolija nestala, šta se desilo sa ljubavlju?
Možda se prepolovila, pa je svako poneo svoj deo.
Ja svoj deo još uvek čuvam u džepu i često proveravam da li je tu.
Druga polovina je možda podeljena dalje.
Ljudi kažu da ljubav raste kada se deli.
Kako je ovo, ustvari, catchy!
Ako je drugi deo podeljen i sada raste,
onda mi više nemamo jednake polovine.
Moj deo se smanjuje.
Na kraju će biti zanemarljiv.
Možda nikada nisam ni dobila polovinu.

Pola od beskonačno je beskonačno.
Pola od nula je nula.
Cvrc.

---

---

When love is here…
Every thought is magic
I wonder…
If the magic disappears, what happens to love?

Maybe it split in half
Each of us took our share
I keep mine in my pocket
Check it often… still there

The other half may have been shared further
People say… love grows when it’s shared
How catchy… how catchy this actually is

If the other part has been shared and is now growing
We no longer have equal halves
My part is shrinking… shrinking
In the end… negligible
Maybe I never even received a half

Half of infinity… is infinity
Half of zero… is zero
Click

---

---

Ne želim više da budem vetar
koji pomera zavese.

Umesto na prozoru
po nebu ti crtam srce od zvezda.

Ako ti ruke ostanu prazne
ne krivi mene
već svoje oko
koje ne vidi dalje od nosa.

Kada tišina predugo traje,
ona postaje zid.
Ja više volim mostove.

A ti?

---

---

I don’t want to be the wind
that moves your curtains.

Instead of your window,
I draw a heart of stars across the sky for you.

If your hands stay empty,
don’t blame me.
Blame the eye
that cannot see beyond the nose.

When silence lingers too long,
it becomes a wall.
I prefer bridges.

And you?

---

---

Sa obale
pokušavam da procenim
dubinu ljubavi
koja se krije
ispod površine
obasjane mesečinom
u koju svi gledaju
sa divljenjem.

Izlizali su mi beskonačnost
i zgadili stihove
omiljenih pesama.

Pravim se
da ih ne volim više
jer su postali svačiji,
iako sve iznutra vrišti
da su oduvek
pripadali samo meni.

Ti i ne moraš
ništa da kažeš.

U tišini
mogu čuti tvoj glas.
Poruke koje šalješ
su jasne.

Mislim
da naše duše razgovaraju.

Reći ću ti nešto,
u poverenju.

Samo sklopi oči.

letnja noć
kroz otvoren prozor
ni dašak vetra

---

---

From the shore
I try to gauge
the depth of love
hiding beneath the surface
bathed in moonlight
that everyone watches
with awe.

They wore out my infinity
and ruined the verses
of my favorite songs.

I pretend
not to love them anymore
because they’ve become everyone’s,
even though everything inside me screams
they’ve always
belonged only to me.

You don’t even
have to say a word.

In the silence
I can hear your voice.
The messages you send
ripple through the quiet.

I think
our souls are speaking.

I’ll tell you something,
in confidence.

Just close your eyes.

summer night
through the open window
not a breeze in sight

---

---

Ovaj san o tebi je
kao kula od karata
koju svake noći rušim
i ujutru iznova sklapam.

Verovatno si unapred znao
šta ću sve pokušavati,
pa si se lukavo potpisao
na moje misli markerom,
onim permanentnim,
i sada te ne mogu obrisati.

Stvarno sam pokušala
da zaboravim datume
i pesme sa radija,
ali ti si sigurno znao trik
pa si se naizgled nevino
zavukao pod moje prste
i naterao me da te osećam
stalno, kao da si tu.

Zato se trudim
da uposlim ruke
gurajući te od sebe,
ali se ti uporno vraćaš
i pretiš da ćeš ostati zauvek.

Sada ne znam šta ću
sa tobom, takvim;
ni sa sobom, ovakvom.

---

---

This dream of you is
like a house of cards
that I demolish every night
and rebuild in the morning.

You probably knew in advance
what I would try,
so you cunningly signed yourself
on my thoughts with a marker,
that permanent one,
and now I can’t erase you.

I really tried
to forget the dates
and the songs from the radio,
but you surely knew the trick
and innocently
slipped under my fingers
forcing me to feel you
constantly, as if you were here.

That’s why I try
to keep my hands busy,
pushing you away,
but you persistently return
and threaten to stay forever.

Now I don’t know what to do
with you, like that;
nor with myself, like this.

---

---

Ako nisi želeo, onda si ponovo zalutao – u moj san.
I ništa te nisam pitala, pa ni ti nisi ništa rekao.
Samo si ispod slike napisao najljubavniju reč
koju sam u tom snu mogla zamisliti:

MOJA.

Koliko malo je bilo potrebno.

Sa druge strane
prozora
februarska noć.

Toplo je
pod ćebetom.

---

---

If you didn’t want to, then you wandered again – into my dream.
And I didn’t ask you anything, nor did you say a word.
You just wrote beneath the picture
the most loving word I could have imagined in that dream:

MINE.

How little it took.

On the other side
of the window,
a February night.

It’s warm,
under the blanket.

---

---

Ja mogu, ako želim,
da zatvorim oči
i zaustavim svet.

Mogu da ga učinim
i boljim mestom
za čas, ako hoću.

Čak mogu, ako želim,
jednim klikom
da pogasim sve
i ostanem zauvek
sasvim sama
na ovom peronu
koji napuštaju svi,
da biram pravac
koji poželim,
ne plašeći se
da li će biti mesta
za mene.

Bez prtljaga,
bez ičega,
jednim klikom,
samo,
ako hoću.

Toliku moć imam.

---

---

I can, if I want to,
close my eyes
and stop the world.

I can make it
a better place
in a moment, if I wish.

I can even, if I want to,
with one click
turn everything off
and stay forever
completely alone
on this platform
that everyone leaves.

To choose the direction
I want,
without fear
whether there will be space
for me.

Without luggage,
without anything,
with one click,
only,
if I want.

Such power I have.

---

---

Odlazim i vraćam se
ulicama
u kojima nikada nisam živela.

Kuće bez krovova,
a na svakoj kapiji
katanac.

Na kamenim zidovima
smenjuju se brojevi:
6, 8, 13, 14, 31…
do beskonačnosti.

Koliko još kiše treba da padne
da bi sprala prašinu sa prozora?

I dalje
moja duša viri kroz njih,
tražeći srce
nacrtano mesečinom
te daleke noći.

posle kiše
iznad krovova
nebo gori

Ljubavi,
reci mi
koji je tvoj jezik
ljubavi!

---

---

I leave and return
through the streets
where I’ve never lived.
Houses without
roofs and a padlock
on every gate.

On the stone walls,
the numbers change:
6, 8, 13, 14, 31…
to infinity.

Still, my soul peeks
through them,
searching for the heart
drawn by the moonlight
on that distant night.

After the rain,
above the rooftops,
the sky is burning.

My love,
tell me
what is your language
of love!

---

---

Nestalo je ono
što nikada nije ni postojalo,
a Nebo se razlilo
u milijardu nijansi sive.

Pretvorilo se
u boju pepela.
U boju starosti.
Boju ništavila.

I tako,
pod tim nebom —
jedna maca.
Crna.
Taman onolika
kolika bi noćas bila
maca sa slike
o petku trinaestom.

Glasna i gladna…
Gladna zbog zime
i gladna pažnje.
Gladna ljubavi.

I ja je volim
iako nije moja.
Svi zaslužuju ljubav,
pa i pod ovako sivim nebom.

Daj mi bar
kap crvene,
da razmažem po sivilu
i naslikam san.

Da ožive
moji leptiri
i vilini konjici.

Probudi moje Sunce!

na zaboravljenim stranicama
zakletve ljubavi
nikad izgovorene

---

---

What has never existed
has disappeared,
and the Sky has spilled
into a billion shades of gray.

It turned into
the color of ash.
The color of old age.
The color of nothingness.

And so,
under that sky —
a cat.
Black.
Exactly the size
that the cat in the picture
about Friday the 13th
would be tonight.

Loud and hungry…
Hungry from the winter
and hungry for attention.
Hungry for love.

And I love her,
even though she isn’t mine.
Everyone deserves love,
even under such a gray sky.

Give me at least
a drop of red,
so I can smear it across the gray
and paint a dream.

Let my butterflies
and dragonflies
come to life.

Wake up my Sun!

on forgotten pages
vows of love
never spoken

---

---

Bezuspešno
pokušavajući
da pobegne,
kuca iznutra,
ali nema izlaza,
samo tama –
klizave stepenice
koje ne vode nigde
osim na dole.

Čuvam ga
između korica,
zakopavam
ispod slojeva,
pokušavajući
da sakrijem Tebe
od Tebe.

Zatim ga pritiskam
zarđalim prstima,
i vezujem glas
oko ušiju,
držeći čvrsto
svaku reč
koja se rodila
u mom umu.

Želim da te volim,
i da te usrećim.

---

---

Desperately
trying
to escape,
it beats within,
but there’s no way out,
only darkness –
slippery stairways
that lead nowhere
but down.

I keep it
between the covers,
bury it
beneath the layers,
trying
to hide You
from Yourself.

Then I press it
under the rusty fingers,
and tie a voice
around my ears,
holding tight
every word
that was born
in my mind.

I wish to love you,
and make you happy.

---

---

Ljubav reče:
„Ako mi veruješ,
zatvori oči,
pusti me
da te vodim.“

Zatvorila sam oči.

I znala – nekako –
da se to nebo ogleda
u mom jastuku.

Zvezde su sijale jače,
mnogo jače nego pre,
mamile me
poput grozdova
najslađeg grožđa
iz vinograda
koji nije moj.

„To se ne sme,“
um prošaputa,
ali ko još
u snovima
sluša um?

Ja
ne.

Ja ne!

---

---

Love said:
„If you trust me,
close your eyes,
let me lead you.“

I closed my eyes.
And somehow I knew,
the sky reflected
in my pillow.

The stars shone bright,
brighter than before,
tempting me
like sweet grapes
from a vineyard
that’s not mine.

„This can’t be,“
the mind whispered,
but who
in dreams
listens to the mind?

I
don’t.

I don’t!

---

---

Ja ne znam šta je sa druge strane.
I ne znam šta će se desiti jednom,
kada zauvek sklopimo oči.
Zbog toga biram da verujem u čuda
i u to da duše zajedno putuju,
da se traže i sreću iznova i iznova,
oduvek i zauvek, do beskonačnosti.
Ali, možda će nas ipak progutati mrak,
onda, kada zauvek sklopimo oči.
I možda će nas zaista
samo pojesti crvi, ne znam.
Ono što znam je da je svet ćutanja dubok,
ali hladan kao led i težak kao olovo;
a vreme koje imamo je tako prekratko
da za sve popravne postaje kasno.
Ako sam voljena želim da znam,
a ne samo da osećam
osećanja koja sama projektujem
i filtriram kroz sopstvene filtere,
pa ih slažem u crno-bele kutije
i odlažem na posebne police
ne bih li zaboravila da postoje.
Nije mi dovoljno da budem voljena.
Sada tako želim da mi se to kaže
jer ko zna… možda ćemo već sutra
biti sa druge strane, u večnoj tišini.

---

---

I don’t know what is on the other side.
And I don’t know what will happen one day,
when we close our eyes forever.
That’s why I choose to believe in miracles
and in souls’ travelling together,
seeking and meeting again and again,
always and forever, to infinity.
But maybe darkness will swallow us after all,
then, when we close our eyes forever.
And maybe we will indeed
only be eaten by worms, I don’t know.
What I do know is that the world of silence is deep,
but cold as ice and heavy as lead;
and the time we have is so short
that it’s too late for all the fixes.
If I’m loved, I want to know,
not just feel
the feelings that I project myself
and filter through my own filters,
then stack them into the black-and-white boxes
and put them on the special shelves
so I can forget they ever exist.
It’s not enough for me to be loved.
Now, if I’m loved, I want to be told
because who knows… maybe tomorrow
we’ll be on the other side, in eternal silence.

---

---

Ja imam moć
da se u ćutanju igram kako poželim.

Od par jedva izvučenih rečenica
mogu stvoriti raj
ili pakao, ako hoću.

Mogu te načiniti vladarem svog sveta
ili zlim princem neprijateljskog kraljevstva.

Mogu ti udahnuti život za tren
a mogu te i zauvek prognati.

Od tebe zavisi.

---

---

I have a power
to play in silence however I please.

From a few barely uttered sentences,
I can create paradise
or hell, if I choose.

I can make you the ruler of my world
or the dark prince of an enemy kingdom.

I can breathe life into you in an instant,
and I can banish you forever.

Depends on you…

---

---

Sve sam analizirala…
I buku,
i tišinu…
Sve isprobala…

Direktan dokaz,
kontrapoziciju,
reductio ad absurdum,
matematičku indukciju,
egzistenciju,
konstruktivni dokaz,
dokaz po slučajevima,
metodu beskonačnog silaska,
probabilistički dokaz.

I dalje ne znam
da li me voliš.

---

---

I have analyzed everything…
Both noise,
and silence…
I have tried everything…

A direct proof,
contraposition,
reductio ad absurdum,
mathematical induction,
existence,
constructive proof,
proof by cases,
the method of infinite descent,
probabilistic proof.

And still, I don’t know
if you love me.

---

---

Žao mi je, ja sam gospodar brojeva, a ne broj.
Brojevi služe za čuvanje uspomena i važnih datuma,
za merenje ljubavi do beskonačno,
ponekad i količine ničega ispod nule, ako treba.

Ja nisam broj – ni onaj običan, a ni redni.
Ne prihvatam da se tražim na listama prioriteta,
i ne dozvoljavam da me bilo ko stavlja na spiskove
onih što čekaju, onih što se olako daju, onih sa slomljenim srcem…

Ja sam gospodar brojeva.
Upravljam racionalnim i iracionalnim,
realne i imaginarne spajam u kompleksne.
Ja sam sve, ali ne broj!

---

---

Sorry, but I am the master of numbers, not a number.
Numbers are meant to preserve memories and important dates,
to measure love to infinity,
and sometimes even the amount of nothingness below zero, if needed.

I am not a number — neither an ordinary one nor an ordinal one.
I refuse to search for myself on priority lists,
and I will not allow anyone to place me among those who wait,
those who give themselves away too easily, those with broken hearts…

I am the master of numbers.
I command the rational and the irrational,
I merge the real and the imaginary into the complex.
I am everything — but not a number!

---

---

Još samo ponekad u snove mi dođe
Pogled koji nekad dušu grejao je
Brzo se pojavi i još brže prođe
Dok pijani Mesec odozgo se smeje

Prelazi u leto od miline zima
A prekratke noći u najlepše sate
Srce zatreperi kao da te ima
Rašire se ruke, žele da te vrate

Sve se nešto pitam da li ima nade
Da se u snu opet sretnemo nas dvoje
Ljubomorno jutro od mene te krade

Po usnulom nebu razliše se boje
Naša priča jedva u par reči stade
Hajde, uzmi natrag iz mene sve svoje

---

---

This poem, in its original language, is a sonnet and doesn’t have a musical version yet, but I need to post it to reserve its spot in the collection.

---

Only now and then you come to me in dreams,
That gaze which once would warm my very soul.
It comes so fast and passes even faster,
While the drunken Moon above me softly laughs.

Winter gently turns to summer’s tenderness,
And nights too short become the finest hours.
My heart still trembles as if you were here,
My arms spread wide, still longing to bring you back.

I keep on asking if there is still hope
That once again in dreams the two may meet,
But jealous morning steals you from my sleep.

Across the sleeping sky the colors pour,
Our story barely fits in just a few words
Come, take from me whatever once was yours.

---

---

Svoje snove
sam zavezala
u čvor oko prsta

i pustila ih
da čekaju
izlazak sunca

ali me je jutro
prevarilo
dok sam spavala
i odnelo ih.

Videla sam te
u snu
i poljubio si me.

Nisam videla
tvoje usne,

ali soba je bila
ispunjena
mirisom kiše
koju nosiš
na svojim đonovima.

Između
dva dima cigarete
pokušavam
da čujem pokret
leptirovih krila.

Eho
sa druge strane
uporno me podseća
da zaboravim.

---

---

I tied a knot of my dreams
around the fingers
and let them await the rising sun.
But morning deceived me while I was sleeping
and took them away.

I saw you in a dream
and you gave me a kiss.

I haven’t seen your lips
but the room was fulfilled
with the scent of the rain
that you wear on your soles.

between two cigarette smokes
I’m trying to hear the movement
of the butterfly wings

the echo from the other side
persistently reminds me to forget

---

---

Moj ponos —
moje utočište
i opravdanje,
tvoja sloboda
i tvoje spasenje.

Budi mu zahvalan
što te štiti
od sopstvenih grehova!

Budi zahvalan
dok kukavički stojiš
iza zida tišine.

Bodljikava žica
oko tvog srca,
ispletena
od tvoje fiktivne tuge,

čini te osobom
koja ne želi
ni da daje,
ni da prima.

Moj ponos —
moj ubica
i moj spasilac —
tera me
da se pretvaram
da me nije briga.

Primorava me
da ignorišem
svoje slabosti
i zadržava me
sa druge strane zida.

Rasuti
preko krovova —
komadići Meseca.

Ledeno srce
i ukočeni prsti
crtaju znake
po zidovima.

Uporno zveckaju,
opirući se vetru —
spuštene roletne.

Petak uveče
sporo prolazi.

---

---

My pride —
my refuge
and justification,
your freedom
and salvation.

Be grateful to it
for protecting you
from your own sins!

Be thankful
while cowardly standing
behind the wall of silence.

The barbed wire
around your heart,
woven
from your fictional sorrow,

makes you a person
who neither wants
to give
nor receive.

My pride —
my killer
and my savior —
forces me
to pretend
I don’t care.

It compels me
to ignore
all my weaknesses
and keeps me
on the other side of the wall.

Scattered
across the rooftops —
scraps of the Moon.

Icy heart
and stiff fingers
drawing signs
on the walls.

Persiennes clatter,
resisting the wind —

Friday evening
passing slowly.

---

---

Jedina magija
je magija
koju sami stvaramo.

U tebi projektujem sebe.

Tražeći tvoj smisao,
pokušavam da pronađem
sopstveni smisao
i svrhu.

Ti si zapravo
proizvod moje sopstvene mašte
i deo moje lične
samospoznaje.

Zatvoren prozor –
osećam
nebo menja boje.

---

---

The only magic is
the magic
we create ourselves.

I project myself onto you.

In seeking your meaning,
I try to find
my own meaning
and purpose.

You are, in fact,
a product of my own imagination
and a part of my personal
self-discovery.

Closed window –
I feel
the sky changing its colors.

---

---

Jednom sam napisala želju
po oblacima na beskrajnom nebu,
ali odgovor je kasnio.

Tražiš previše, pomislila sam,
pa sam obrisala sunce.

Oblaci su besciljno plutali
tražeći odgovor.
Ali odgovor nije stigao,
samo je nekoliko ptica proletelo.

Vetar je prejak, pomislila sam,
pa sam obrisala vetar.

Oblaci više nisu mogli da plutaju.
Stojeći besciljno
čekali su odgovor.
Uzalud, previše dugo.

Skidala sam ih jednog po jednog
ostavljajući nebo prazno.

Danas noći
odišu čudnom svežinom.
Miris tišine je u vazduhu.
Suze novog rođenja dopiru iz daljine.

pre punog meseca
mudrost stečena u prošlosti
spremna za testiranje

---

---

Once I wrote a wish
by clouds on the endless sky,
but answer delayed.

You ask for too much, I thought.
So I wiped off the sun.

Clouds kept floating aimlessly
looking for reply.
But reply wasn’t coming,
only a few birds flew.

Your wind is too strong, I thought.
So I wiped off the wind.

Clouds couldn’t float anymore.
Standing aimlessly
they waited for an answer.
In vain, for too long.

I took them off one by one
leaving the sky empty.

Nowadays, nights reflect
the strange freshness.
Smell of silence in the air,
tears of new birth from afar.

before the full moon
wisdom gained through the past
ready to be tested

---

---

Umrla sam, znaš?
A onda se rodila pa ubila tebe.
Mnogo puta!
Oprosti mi, nisam umela bolje.
Sve sam zaboravila, sve.
Svaku suzu iznutra osušenu
i bol promrzlih stopala pred tvojim vratima.
Svaki pogled upućen strancu
koji je bar malo podsećao na tebe.
I reč koju ti ukradoh sa usana u trenu
Zaboravih.
Ali ne, ne vraćam ti zaborav!
Tražila sam te, priznajem
po sumornim bulevarima
i baštama velegradskih hotela.
Nikada nisi bio tu, nikada.
Zato sam te izbrisala iz dnevnka.
Izvini, nisam umela bolje.
Sve grehe sam ti davno oprostila
pa sam ih kovala lancima zla
ne bih li počela da te mrzim.
Ali nisam. Nikada nisam.
Praštala sam ti iznova i iznova.
Oprosti mi, ne umem bolje.

ulica
odjekuje pod štiklama
april, ponovo

---

---

I died once, you know?
And then I was born and I killed you.
Many times!
Forgive me, I didn’t know better.
I forgot everything.
Every tear dried from the inside
and a pain of the frozen feet
in front of your door.
Every glance at the stranger
who reminded me of you a little.
And a word that I stole
from your lips in a moment
I have forgotten.
So no, I won’t return an oblivion!
I was searching for you, I admit
along the gloomy boulevards
and the gardens of the metropolitan hotels.
You have never been there, never.
That’s why I deleted you from the diaries.
Sorry, I didn’t know better.
I forgave you all your sins
then put them in the chains of evil
so I could start hating you.
But I haven’t. I never have.
I keep forgiving over and over again.
Sorry, I don’t know better.

street resounds
under the heels
april, again

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„Voli me kao što voliš Mesec“, rekao je.
„Ne mogu da te volim tako. Mesec je predaleko“, odgovorila je.
„Kada je mračno, Mesec ti obasjava put“, reče on.
„Mesec je hladan, radije bih te volela kao što volim Sunce“, odgovori ona.
„Hladan? Možda“, rekao je, „ali jednog dana bi mogla hodati po Mesecu.“
„U pravu je“, pomislila je, zaboravljajući da Mesec nikada nije sam.
I tako ga je volela.

Od tog trenutka ga je volela svake noći.
Dalekog i hladnog, dok je sijao u njenim usamljenim mračnim noćima.
Volela ga je, ali mu to nikada nije rekla, jer nikada nije bio sam.

Sve do jedne zimske noći, kada je podigla pogled i videla da ga više nema.
Ni sledeće…
Niti noći posle…

Osećala se izdanom.
Spustila je pogled i nikada više nije pogledala u nebo.

Nije shvatila da je zapravo izdala samu sebe.

Jedino što je ikada želela bilo je
da pokaže sve ožiljke koje je vešto skrivala,
i tako ogoljena, ostane zauvek.

Onda je sve stalo.
Počela je ona.

Nastavila je dalje,
ubacujući sve rane u svoj ranac.
„Pojavi li se ikada ponovo“, obećala je, „sve ću mu reći.“

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“Love me the way you love the Moon,” he said.
“I can’t love you like that. The Moon is too far away,” she replied.
“When it’s dark, the Moon lights your way,” he said.
“The Moon is cold; I’d rather love you the way I love the Sun,” she responded.
“Cold? Maybe,” he said, “but one day you could walk on the Moon.”
“He’s right,” she thought, forgetting that the Moon was never alone.
And that’s how she loved him.

From that moment on, she loved him every night.
Distant and cold, while he shone in her lonely, dark nights.
She loved him, but never told him, because he was never alone.

Until one winter night, when she looked up and saw that he was gone.
Not the next…
Nor the nights after…

She felt betrayed.
She lowered her gaze and never looked up at the sky again.

She didn’t realize that she had actually betrayed herself.

All she had ever wanted was
to show all the scars she had skillfully hidden,
and so, laid bare, stay forever.

Then everything stopped.
She started.

She moved on,
putting all her wounds into her backpack.
“If he ever appears again,” she promised, “I’ll tell him everything.”

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