say something

Entering this voluntary covenant not so much to impose an order, but to nurture and preserve unity, it is our desire to be governed foremost by sacrificial love as exemplified by Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior (Matthew 22:47-30).

We believe that God the father created all. While, in his triune being, God the father, the son, and the spirit exemplified wholeness and completeness in the comm(on)unity of selfless, unconditional (agape) love, he nonetheless chose to make mankind in his image as an object of love to live in a voluntary relationship with himself (Genesis 1).By rejecting this love we have become lack and incompleteness. History is therefore a story of the struggle of man to cope with a broken world and a yearning to know the one in whose image we were made. While mankind is fighting to achieve peace and wholeness in a world of dissatisfaction and chaos, God is continuously pouring himself out as a gift in order that we may return once again to him. In Jesus Christ, God himself took on the affliction of flesh in order that he might redeem our insufficiency, and live for us the fulfillment of man’s identity in God; to prepare the way of the everlasting Kingdom of Heaven, where everything broken realizes completion and wholeness (Genesis 4:7, Romans 8:18-23, Revelation 21:1-4). When Christ returned to heaven, victorious over both sin and death, to sit at the thrown of the father as an advocate for us, he sent the Holy Spirit to continue the great work of reconciling creation to himself, and daily, by grace, to redeem us out of the fallenness of our world (John 16:12-15, Romans 8:26-27, Hebrews 4:14-16, 7:23-28). The Holy Spirit empowers disciples to become the Body of Christ on this earth. A body devoted to the teachings of Jesus Christ and his apostles, to the daily fellowship of disciples, to the common meal and common worship, to the sharing in the baptism and Eucharist of Christ Jesus, and to the sharing of all earthly possessions. As the body of Christ, our citizenship is not of this earth, and we cling not to its kingdoms or desires, but seek first, by the power of the Holy Spirit, the realization of an eternal community of perfected fellowship (Acts 2:42-47).

…

Because of our incompleteness, mankind is always consuming. Whatever the object may be our hunger is never satisfied (Ecclesiastes 1:8). It is very tempting to build an economic kingdom based on feeding the masses, but Christ tells us that “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”(Matthew 4:4) No matter how much we fill our stomachs we can never be satisfied by anything but all of God. In this way we learn that the economy of the Kingdom of Heaven must reveal the nature of God if it is ever going to satisfy. The first problem of economics is meeting unlimited wants on limited resources. While our planet does have limited means of feeding man, God is unlimited. Having a desire indicates that satisfaction of that desire exists. If it does not exist on this earth, it exists in God.

God is revealed through our economy when we acknowledge that all of creation finds its source in him (Deuteronomy 8, Psalm 24:1, John 1:3-4). We do this by only taking enough for one day at a time (Exodus 16). When we acknowledge that it is God that sustains us and not our own hand, we are able by faith to only take as much as we need, and when we do this there is enough for everyone. Since there is enough for everyone in God’s very good creation, there should not be poor among us, but because of our fallenness, his word says there will always be poor. That is why Christ came proclaiming the year of the Lord; not only a year for the redistribution of wealth but for the liberation of slavery and the redemption of all things broken and marginalized (Deuteronomy 15, Isaiah 61). As the body of Christ we strive to perfect the “art of give and take” to subvert our consumptive culture by not considering that any of our possessions, or even our very lives, are our own, but by sharing everything in common with the body of believers, and with any who have need (Acts 4:32-35, 1Thessalonians 2:8).

…

In a broken and chaotic world, men throughout history have tried to create order by means of government. The selfish impulses of one man are put in check by his dependence on and domination by another equally fallible man. Submission to a governing body often seeks to replace worship of God with service to a fallen human system. This conflicts with God’s desire to be the object of all of our worship (Matthew 4:10). You cannot serve both God, and worldly systems (Matthew 6:24, Galatians 1:10). Also, in order for one man to govern another he must subdue him. Throughout history men have used violence to subdue one another, or to resist submission. As followers of Christ we are called to a higher standard (Genesis 9:5, Matthew 5:38-48). We are to be committed to choosing Christ’s way of peace and mercy, and to allow God to fight our battles for us, resisting the temptation to usher in the Kingdom by our owns methods and means, even if it costs us our very lives (Deuteronomy 32:35, Luke 4:1-13, Matthew 26:52-56). We subvert the imperial consumerist culture by identifying with Christ’s self-sacrifice and others-centeredness in both baptism by submersion and the sharing of the Eucharist, knowing that our battles are not against our brother, but against darkness itself (Romans 6:5-14, 12:5, Ephesians 6:12). We are liberated in Christ not only from the corrupted flesh and blood systems of this world, but also from the sin in our very own hearts by the adoption of the attitude of Christ through a contemplative life of daily meditation and prayer and through accountability to the eternal and universal body of Christ. (Romans 6:15-23, Philippians 2:1-11, 1 Peter 4:1-2, Matthew 26:41)

…

Like satan’s original sin, man is always seeking to be like God. We were given the law in order that we might see how we can never do this. We use religion as a ladder to climb to the top of the tower of Babel, but in this competition to please God our connection to one another is broken (Genesis 11:1-9, 4:1-16). It is only in mending this relationship through the grace of Christ that we can in turn mend our relationship with God (Matthew 22:37-40). Even Jesus was tempted to lift himself up, but instead showed that all glory comes from and belongs to the father (Matthew 4: 6-7, John 8:54, John 12:32). In humility we glorify the father and are blessed to take part in his Kingdom coming to earth. We realize that as sinful beings we are in no position to pass judgment on others for their sinfulness (John 8:1-11). Neither do we use our freedom as an excuse to continue sinning, or allow our faith to cause our brother to stumble (1 Corinthians 6:12, 8:9, 10:23-33).  We believe that our first relevancy is authenticity, and that our stories are a gift for multiplying the work of God in our life into the lives of others (John 15, Revelation 12:11) We commit to confrontation and reconciliation in the example of Matthew 18, believing that truth is worth fighting for. We will not talk behind another’s back, creating dissension and distrust, but will hold one another accountable in love. We should faithfully confess our sins to one another, always being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry (James 1:19, 5:16. We are blessed to share in both our brother’s joys and in his sorrows (Romans 12:9-21). By the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ that we, in all our failure, find that it is God who makes himself famous and not us (Psalm 46:10, 2 Corinthians 12:9). We simply seek to be a part of the Missio Dei on the earth.

…

Furthermore, as we embrace the mystery of our God, and commit to struggle together on our journey toward truth, we are purified and increasingly reflect the completion and love of the Holy Trinity in a community that reaches thoughout the earth (2 Cornithians 3:13, John12-13). It is then by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ that we raise this covenant to our Father in Heaven an offering of thanksgiving for his bringing us thus far, and for his grace that continuously transforms our insufficiency into his abundance.

sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night shaking and scared and suddenly everything i’ve been pushing down pops back up like a beach ball in the pool and threatens to choke me. i feel so terrible alone, but i dont want any one to touch me and i dont know what i could say to them. im scared that ill go crazy. im scared that ill die. is it weird that id rather write this on here for total strangers than on myspace where all of my friends will get an update and go read it. what do i do the next day when i am calmer again and they are looking at me or worse saying something about it? what if i am crazy an everyone finds out? i know that more likely no one reads this page at all. but id hope that someone does. not because this is in any way going to be useful for them to read, but just so that my agony and frustration and the words it takes to get it out arent wasted and like samuel God will keep my words from “falling to the ground.”

if you, like me, are tired of talking about following Christ and letting him transform lives through you, and not actually doing anything, please join us in praying that God will bring the needy to our doorsteps and show us how to fill them with his love. it’s time to stop dreaming. prayer is rebelling against this present age, knowing that God wants something better than this for our world and that he alone can make it happen.

i have been rereading anne of green gables. i read the first one when i was very young and never continued on with the series, so i am now.today this morning in the office i finished up. i knew all along i would cry when matthew died, but i hadn’t considered that when i brought it in to work. i felt awful silly sitting at my desk where a proffessor could come ask me to make copies any minute with tears rolling down my face. i had been experiencing all kinds of emotions regarding the nature of the future and choices all morning, but it wasn’t until i reached one of the last paragraphs that my whole world view made a little, but significant, shift.

Anne’s horizons had closed in since the night she had sat there after coming home from Queen’s; but if the path set before her feet was narrow she knew that flowers of quiet happiness would bloom along it. the joys of sincere work and worthy aspiration and congenial friendship were to be heres; nothing could rob her of of fancy or her ideal world of dreams. And there was always the bend in the road.

 we seem to always make choices about our future based upon what will give us the most options should we change our mind or have a new idea down the road, but this paragraph put my recent emotional shift into just the right words. the goal should not be to constantly broaden our horizons as if to claim the whole world as our own, but to weedle it down to just one merry little path that is OURS. how peaceful to know that this trail, and this one only, is one’s own to care for and follow. i could wander aimlessly for years on a broad open field and get nowhere and leave this life empty, or i can follow my own little trail all od my life and only leave the fuller. especially if i have my love by my side. my one love, my only love. the only one i need.

*deep breath* i am back at school now, and i’m really enjoying my place. i love cooking my own food, and i get to sew a lot, which is really amazing. life is just so lovely. i have really nice friends. i was so sad to leave molly and rebekah and carrie at home. my friends all inspire me. doesn’t that make me such a lucky person? as much as i don’t like the idea of colleg and the artificial suspension it puts on life, i do love my classes. we talked about yeats this morning in modern poetry. i always feel a little like a fraud when i don’t get anything out of a poem until we discuss it in class. you should read the lake isle at innisfree it’s very beautiful. we read an interview on Bono for my interdisciplinary christian thought class (yeah i’m so spoiled to get to take classes like this) and i was really inspired by his authenticity. mostly i want to really do things, instead of just thinking and talking about them. i guess that’s what i cook and sew for, but as for the rest of things i don’t really know where to start. we covenanted with nexus community church sunday night, and went to wednesday night prayer meeting for the first time. we have found a wonderful family there. maybe i will invite shawna and joanna over monday, or maybe we’ll go to hastings to talk. it’s no barnes and noble, but i think that you can think of smarter things when you are surrounded by books. at least i feel something special when i’m there. i am going to try and write for the school newspaper, and i want to write a proposal to the board of education about the need for a christian based university to provide a major in family and consumer sciences. our family unit here in the united states is struggling so much, we really need people with a good working knowledge of biblical principles to be in the business of family education. i have so many ideas and thoughts about things going on in the world that i feel like i have about half of the pieces of a dozen puzzles and don’t even know where to go from here. maybe some of you understand too.

yep. im tackling the big ones today, and not just out of a sense of duty after not having posted for half of the month.

when we read a work by someone, i can’t remember who or what, in victorian lit, they spent a whole lot of time talking about how time and space being our primary barriers was only man made, that we didnt have to accept them as being defined and so on. kind of crazy. i was thinking today though, in that time periodthose were considered in philosophical thought as basic barriers to living and what we want to achieve. today in our time we have overcome them to some extent with technology. we didn’t find time travel or some way to make time not keep moving on, but we made everything faster so we have more of it free, yet we waste it, just doing more of the same kind of things. we didn’t conquer space where i can reach out and touch the moon, but we have airplanes, and trains, and cars and even more significant–phones and the internet. we can essentially be anywhere we want to be within hours or even seconds, but we have become home cosmopologists in the worst way, we are no longer happy with being still, we are no longer at home at home. i feel the fleetingness of life just as much as the next person. i am happy for tools that help us to do things faster so that i can free up time to be with my family and friends, but at what cost? i say at the expense of our enjoying that time, our savoring it.

in the play Our Town the final act is about death. the living people don’t realize how fast time is passing and don’t really savor the moments as they should. the dead encourage eachother to not envy the living because they are foolish and only half live. i feel as if the author is saying that the dead are better off. but, he also shows all the reasons that i believe they aren’t. when discussing her brothers death, she doesn’t have any emotion at all. and she’s so selfish that it never enters her mind that the man she loved when she was alive is raising their two boys alone with memories of her everyday in their faces and knowing they’ll never know their mother. obviously being dead is not the answer after all, but what is?

maybe this is where my battle with technology takes on a face. i’ll be the last one to push my views on other people. i can’t say that i’m right to hate all artificial creations when everyone else thinks they are a good thing. i use the internet plenty myself. even for communicating to friends i wouldn’t see otherwise, but i think i’m missing out on something better. maybe it’s just that it’s too easy to say hello. our minds are so good at telling us that if we don’t have to work or pay for it that it’s not worth much. the same as not buying philosophies sold at a steal, or not giving a gift that didn’t cost me anything.

this wasn’t supposed to be a call to throw your computer out the window or cancel your cell phone. i have more questions than answers, i just wonder if we were ever supposed to live like this at all. i think life was supposed to be hard, because then it is worth so much more. just please don’t free up so much time that you waste it all, and pleeease don’t get so used to ease of travel that you forget to live where you are. that’s all.

-josephine

i finally figured out what’s missing here. i’ve been dancing around it for weeks, hungering for something i could only vaguely define, and this morning the little thing just popped it’s head up and mockingly said “duh.”

i come from a home school family, where my mom work at home, and my dad is also self employed and travels, so we spend a lot of time sitting around in our pajamas just wasting time together. i always think it’s so dumb that we watch all of these dumb TV shows that none of us really like because that’s what’s on, and my boyfriend makes fun of how many movies we watch, but i’m starting to realize that there is a kind of family achieved only in those comfortable relaxed still moments.

i’ve been growing increasingly frustrated at not being able to hang out with my friends in my room, how we have to go find a place and a million other obnoxious people are there, and we have to have something planned. i’ve told everyone how ready i am to have a couch in my place of living and an eating space that’s not across the street.

so this weekend i went home with my boyfriend rj for his sister’s wedding, and i was just adopted. i ame from this weekend feeling if the whole world was like that, it would be a better place. it was like home, we sat around and talked, or didn’t. the guys all played video games. we had meals together without everyone walking in and out all of the time, and passing the food down the table. it was such a luxury. i felt like i was being spoiled.

so this morning i woke up and realized–THAT’S WHAT’S MISSING!!–we have no comfortable community of bonding because our homes and lives are superficially constructed. we need a common life again. it’s funny because i’ve been saying that that is the best way to live all along and i just suddenly ealized why, and what it meant. you don’t have to do things with people to live life with them. if you are always doing something, there is a level of relationship you miss out on. maybe that’s what we find at st john’s in a small way.