Right now, just want to find a place to cry and shout out loud…but I couldn’t find the place…
Mengeluh..
Saat mengaduh, mengeluh..
Saat berpeluh, mengeluh..
Saat dingin tak berpeluh, lagi-lagi mengeluh..
Saat suasana keruh, mengeluh..
Saat susana ceria, mengeluh kurang meriah..
Saat takut, syukur pun luput
Apa yang diperoleh,,
Dibandingkan dengan orang lain ketika menoleh
Setiap waktu selalu menggerutu
Tidak pernah merasa pas kemudian berpuas
Lalu,,
Kapan tangan tertelungkup dan merasa cukup..??
Kapan berhenti mengukur dan mulai mengucap syukur..??
What’s wrong with me..??
Arrrghhh..bete abizz..dari kemaren malem ud bete, tp gw bawa tidur biar betenya ilang..tapi ternyata ngk membaik..td pagi bangun malah bawaannya mellow..just don’t like the situation when I’m in mellow mood..bikin gw jd ngk konsen..semua yang gw lakukan semuanya kacauu…berantakan smua..
Gara-gara itu malah bikin gw makin mellow dan makin bete..Kesel jugaa iyaa..smuaa numpukk..pengen banget ditumpahinn smuanyaaa..pengen teriakkkk..pengen melampiaskan kekesalan…tapi ke siapaa..?? Can’t tell anybody..pas lagi kaya gini bisanya cm nangis bwt meluapkan kekesalan..
Just can Blame myself..Hate It..
Sadness
This is half of the lyrics from the song titled “Heavenly Days”. ^^
mezamashi ga naru maeni okite toki wo tomeru
(I turn off the time to wake up before the alarm clock ressounds)
omoida seruno wa mou nantonaku dakedo kimi no koto
(I don’t know why but I can already remember you)
ichiokubun no kimi ni aeta kiseki nankamo
(I wonder if, before I know it, I’ll forget)
itsunomanika wasure chaukana
(even the miracle of being able to meet you for one hundred minutes)
wasureta koto sae mo kitto wasurete shimauno
(Will I end up forgetting even that I’ve forgotten?)
heavenly days mune no pocket no heya
(Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart)
kimi no kieta nukumori wo sagasu yo
(I look for your vanished warmth)
mou nido to kimi wo omou koto wa nakutemo
(Even if there’s no way to feel you ever again, ah)
mada sugoshi atatakai ano hibi ni kagi wo kakete
(I’m locking up those days that are still a bit warm)
aruki tsukarete suwarikon de tohou ni kurete
(Tired of walking, I sat down and was at a loss, if you were with me)
kanawanai yume unmei toka futari nara ieta
(We could have talked about something like our unbearable dream’s fate)
kaisatsuguchi de ienakatta iitakatta
(I couldn’t say it by the ticket barrier, I wanted to say)
arigatoutte kotoba wa tabun
(That I feel Thank you are maybe words)
sayonara yorimo kanashii kotoba ni omouno
(much sadder than goodbye)
mou nido to kimi wo omou koto wa nakutemo
(Even if there’s no way to feel you ever again, ah)
te wo nobashite mitemo koko ni wa mou inai yo
(Even if I stretch out my hands, you’re not here anymore)
atarashii hikari no shita aruki da su yo
(I’ll walk on under a new light)
Dedicated to my Grandpa
Just one more day, all of Chinese people around the world will celebrate lunar new year. This lunar new year, I feel there is something diferrent. I feel this lunar new year become a bit lonesome for me, maybe because of my grandpa is already dead. It still makes me sad and want to cry when I remember him. I still remember how he called my name, talked to me, taught me how to speak and write Chinese, etc. When I came to his house I still imagine how he sat on his favorite place, the way he ate, the way he walk, etc. When I remember all of that, it makes me feel a little regret, because when he died I couldn’t see his face for the last time. It’s hard for me to forget him or not to think of him (in order not to be sad) maybe because I already stay with him when I was a baby, when my age is only 10 days. So much memories that I have with him. Happy, sad, angry (but I think he always try to give me happy memories because he never want to tell me whether he had a problem. He always kept it as a secret. He always said “you just have to concentrate in your study”)
~Memories with him when I was little
Jadi inget banget pas masih kecil aku kurang ajar sama dia, aku suka pukul-pukul perutnya yang gendut sampe dia pernah marah, tapi karena kung2 bae, aku ngk dipukul. Truz kalo lagi belajar tapi ngak bisa2, khan diomelin tu sama popo, langsung d kabur ke kung2 ngadu kalo aku dipukul sama popo (truz kung2 langsung belain => sama cucu jangan maen pukul, truz pukul jangan keras2 atuh, enteng tangan banget c sama cucu, eh gara2 itu akhirnya malah mereka yang cek-cok mulut => how naughty i am.. XD)
Pas masih kecil juga aku suka banget ngumpulin duit receh buat nambah2 duit jajan, kalo kung2 lagi banyak duit receh di lacinya aku dipanggil d.. Truz aku langsung buru2 ambil semua receh d sambil bawa dompet koin..Kalo uda dapet banyak langsung d cengar-cengir (bayangin aj dl 100 perak masih bisa dapet permen 4-5 biji)
Pas malem mao tidur (aku khan tidur di tengah diapit sama popo-kung2) pasti sambil mainin sikut-nya si kung2, suka aja maeninnya…XD, pernah dia protes gini “liat ni, lu maenin sikut kung2 ampe lecet tu..” truz aku bilang “biarin aja, biz enak c maenin sikut kung2” sambil ketawa2 ngk jelas..XD
Dulu pas masih kecil aku cuma cucu satu2nya, anak2nya pada manggil dia “papa” Truz aku protes sama popo dan kung2, koq aku yang manggilnya beda sendiri c..?? Jangan aku ngak disayang lagi, kalo gitu ganti ahh aku mao manggil “papa-mama” juga. Akhirnya ampe sekarang d manggilnya papa-mama..hehe..
Yap I think that’s a little remembrance of me with him. See!! how naughty I am when I was little. Anyway I want to say sorry and a BIG thanks to my grandpa although I think it’s too late..
Aku cuma bisa berdoa semoga beliau bahagia di alam sana dan semoga beliau bisa terlahir di alam yang lebih baik dan bisa mencapai Nibbana.
Yaa kayanya cukup bersedih2 dan nangis2nya..Pas sincia mesti lebih ceria ngk boleh ada acara sedih2an..Keep moving FORWARD..p^.^q
Well I think it’s time to sleep, gud nitezz, have a nice dream, and sleep tight.
Melancholic..??
Have you ever felt regretful and want to turn back the time? Yup, right now I feel regret, a little sad, maybe it could be said as empty. Want to have a chat with my friend to tell about my problem, but I doubt to do that.
~Melancholis modeOn.
Lately these 2-3 days I have dreamt a person that I think I already buried all of my memories about him. Don’t know why all the memories of him suddenly appeared one by one in my mind. And one memory that really make me sad is the one that happen on new year night. I felt that those memories just happened yesterday. Spechless.
Yaa, right now, just try to forget it again. Move forward. DO ALL THE BEST I CAN DO. Prepare resolution for 2009. Be Happy. =)
It’s midnight already, time to sleep. zzzZZz.
By the way, just this once, lets ignore about the correctness of my grammar and my vocabularies. =)
Quotation from Jay Chow’s song
甜甜的 Sweetly
#我輕輕的嚐一口 妳說的愛我
wo qing qing di chang yi kou / ni shuo de ai wo
I gently taste / the love you said was for me
還在回味妳給過的溫柔
hai zai hui wei ni gei guo de wen rou
I am still savoring the warmth you gave
我輕輕的嚐一口 這香濃的誘惑
wo qing qing di chang yi kou / zhe xiang nong de you huo
I gently taste / This aromatic temptation
我喜歡的樣子妳都有
wo xi huan de yang zi ni dou you
You have all the ways I like#
妳愛過頭竟然答應我
ni ai guo tou jing ran da ying wo
You loved me too much, even agreeing to
要給我蜂蜜口味的生活
yao gei wo feng mi kou wei de sheng huo
make my life sweet like honey
加一顆奶球我攪拌害羞
jia shang yi ke nai qiu wo jiao ban hai xiu
Adding some milk and stirring in some shyness
將甜度調高後再牽手
jiang tian duo tiao gao zai qian shou
It’s got to be sweet enough before we can hold hands
妳的愛太多想隨身帶走
ni de ai tai duo xiang sui shen dai zou
Your love overflows and I just want to pack some in my pocket
想妳的時候就吃上一口
xiang ni de shi hou jiu chi shang yi kou
Just so that when I think of you then I’ll take a bite
我溫熱著被呵護的感受
wo wen re zhe bei he hu de gan shou
I keep warm this feeling of being taken care of
卻又擔心降溫了要求
que you dan xin jiang wen le yao qiu
Yet I worry that it will override the want
※我嚐著妳話裡面的奶油溜啊溜
wo chang zhe ni hua li mian de nai you liu a liu
I taste the cream in your words, slippery
聽過的每句話都很可口呦啊呦
ting guo de mei ju hua dou hen ke kou you a you
Every phrase I hear is tasty
那些多餘的畫面全被跳過 妳的眼中只有我
na xie duo yu de hua mian bei tiao guo / ni de yan zhong zhi you wo
Those remaining images all were skipped over / In your eyes, there’s only me※
Miss My Home
Hmm, I miss my home so much. I’m bored here, I wanna go home to refresh my mind and my brain. I miss my parents and my brother too. Although I always have an argue with him, but I miss to have an argue with him. Hehe. 😛
This afternoon, I got angry with one of my friend, because he just said something without being thought at first. After that, he just said sorry to me. And I tell him that I get sick of that kind of person. And he said that he really sorry for that. And well I forgive him and told him not to do the same thing again. Okay that case was closed.
~Changed Topic
Right now, there’re so many assignments that make me stress and feel dizzy. Hope I can finish it as soon as possible. ^^
Waiting RPL Lecture
This morning, there’s no Management Project lecture because the lecturer didn’t come. If I knew that he won’t come, I’ll continue my sleep until 08.00 A.M. XD Uuh, I still feel sleepy. Hoahmmm. zzzZZzz.
Well, while waiting the next lecture, I write this new post just for killing time. Actually there’s nothing special I want to write, maybe just want to say good luck for him, because now he has psikotest (I don’t know where he takes his psikostest), anyway good luck, wish u can get a job and join a good company. ^^
I think it’s already 10.00 A.M, time for RPL Lecture, but I think I will late to attend his class, because the lecturer is always late too. XD (~karma Pak..hehe..XD)
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