Straight with no chaser

Soooooooo I’m in pain from my shoulders down to my thighs. I didn’t have sex or fall or anything but I’m sore as hell and uncomfortable. Can it be caused by sleeping in weird positions?? Please comment your input!!!!

I went OFF last night!!!

SIR got to feel the entire wrath of me just because he wanted to say some slick shyt out his mouth as he was getting dressed to go to the studio. Talmbout… if you’re so sick why you been out the house so much??? I calmly counted to 10 before I responded “you nor my brother have done ANYTHING for me since my asthma flared up so I rather not be around y’all. No one asked if I needed anything to eat, anything to drink, or anything from the store.” He got all defensive and started trying to say I was probably with another nigga but I shut that down quickly. I went in on him for about 10 minutes while he was pacing around the house. Long story short was my mouth got him out the house in 5 minutes or less. And then the iMessages from him started flowing in, which I ignored. I just knew his ass better not get in my bed. And when I woke up this morning, I found his ass shivering on my couch this morning. We talked for 5 minutes before I left for the funeral of my friend’s dad. Things aren’t sweet between us but atleast I don’t have the urge to egg his car anymore. 

So I’m laying on my couch looking down at my pouch (I literally didn’t mean to rhyme). Today I weight 203 lbs (size 12) and in totally I’ve lost over 100 lbs since I had weight lost surgery in 2015. Keep in mind this not my lowest weight but I like my most of my body this size. MOST! Granted I went to Miami in July 2017 to have lipo and fat transfer to my butt…so my shape is kinda crazy but I want it to be better. I have loose skin around my belly and arms & my boobs need to be lifted and maybe add implants. I’m laying here doing research for my round 2 surgery: tummy tuck, Liposcupture, and breast lift with implants. I have the option of going back to Miami where the docs are not as aggressive. Instead I think I’m going to the Dominican Republic where doctors snatch the fuck out of the ladies. The doc I’m interested in specializes in women who have lost a lot of weight. So I’m going to use my WP to document this journey….

This are pics from the past Saturday just for shyts and giggles:

Anyways how you doing (in my Wendy Williams voice)?

Let’s go back about 10-11 years ago….I was living in Philly and coming down to Maryland on my days off to hang with my BFF Meka. One random evening we end up at the Classics where there were male dancers and biker dudes in the parking lot. There was one biker guy that caught my attention and he tried to grab my hand as I walked in the club but I ignored him. He was a cute youngin with a nice body. Let’s call him SIR. Little did I know that this biker was also a damn male exotic dancer. But not on that gay frilly costume shyt, he came out like a straight thug nigga. And the whole time he was performing in front of me. Later that night we exchanged numbers and talked/texted for a while as we got to know each other. SIR claimed he liked me because I wasn’t a club chick or groupie and I believed he was full of shyt because I saw a rack of thirsty chicks in his face every time I went to a club he was at. Even though we weren’t exclusive, he kept most of the hoes in line and made sure no one was disrespectful to me. And we were on a government first name basis…fuck that club name shyt…I’m calling people what their mama named then. Anyways we had been talking for maybe 3 months before we were intimate with each other (on my birthday lol) and I was really feeling SIR. He had been up to Philly to visit me, taken me out on some dates, etc. 
Now this is where the shyt hits the fan….

Meka worked for Child Support and had the pleasure of being the case worker for 2 dancers we had seen at the club. One day she randomly decided to look up SIR in the database. 🤦🏽‍♀️ SMH! This man had a pending case for child that was a month old and at that point we had been dealing with each other for about 6 months. I was baffled because we had convos about children and he swore up and down he had NO CHILDREN!! So that was strike one for me! Strike 2 was that I came down to see him and solely him and he stood me up! No baby..I don’t get stood up not me. And he gave me this bogus ass excuse about his phone not working. Final strike was that he accused me of liking another male dancer which was so far fetched because that guy was dealing with a friend of mine in Philly. So I basically decided to dead the situation with SIR without an explanation. I figured I was just one of many so he wouldn’t really care. 
Over the past 2 years he and I became social media friends. We would message each other and make plans to talk and hangout but I would always stand him up lol. Once I parted ways with my crazy ex I felt comfortable enough to meet up with him at a local restaurant one Sunday. We drank and discussed our crazy ex’s and me getting married and etc. During our 2nd meet up is when I explained all the strikes and why I walked away from him…. and he explained the baby situation to me. We agreed to try dating again and when that went well we ended up in a relationship.

Sitting here typing that out was therapeutic and it calmed me down kinda. But I just wish that he realizes he needs to act like a boyfriend and not just have the title…. it’s hard to teach a grown ass man how to do something he should already know 😐

It’s some kinda good shyt!!!!

I am not built for normalcy!!!! To me normalcy is the act of living according to the standards of society. I CAN NOT!!! I’ve had a boyfriend for almost 2 months now and when I say I’m over it…. I’m this close 👌🏽 to saying I’m done. He is in the music industry and it doesn’t impress me at all. I’ve gone to the studios to watch him work and met some well known artists from the DMV area but I’m just like it’s whatever. He’s from MD but also resides in ATL. Lately he’s been staying with me and initially I was good with sharing my space but now I’m ready to be like “Bye nigga 👋🏽”. He teases me too much about stuff like my health, my attitude, and my bisexuality. I told him keep it up and I’ll have a bitch here to replace you quicker than you think.  He is an insufferable know it all and it irks me down to my soul. When I dated him 10 years ago we were good until I found out about the baby mama drama he hid from me. I was so excited to try to rekindle our romance this summer but Lord Have Mercy….. I think I spoke too soon. The sex is mediocre but this nigga has the nerve to probably still be dealing with other bishes on the side. Y’all know I’m petty and spiteful so I have no regrets about getting sucked and fucked in my truck by a friend after going to the strip club last Friday 😏🤦🏽‍♀️. We had a conversation about having children and wives of artists & producers the other day that left me wanting to punch this man dead in his mouth…. he is such a fucking chauvinist!!! Don’t get me wrong there are some good moments and qualities about him but the bad ones are trumping them right now. 

So I’m giving it one more month to get right after that I’m moving on….

I pinky promise I’ll post more….

Life: dating, your body and more1. What period of your life was the happiest? Why?

 I think when I was btwn 22 – 25. I had no real responsibilities and I did what I wanted when I wanted. I was working but my schedule so flexible that I was taking vacations and traveling down south a lot. I was dating a couple folks and having fun…
2. True or False. If you want a successful date, take charge–take the lead. Why?

False!! What I may think is a successful date may be a boring date to my date/bf/gf 🙁. I believe in planning and compromise so that the wants and needs of both individuals are acknowledged.
3. True or false: Males are aggressive and assertive, and women are nurturing. Explain your answer.

True!!! Men will do what needs to be done in order to get some cheeks where as women take into consideration romance, feelings, and emotions when trying to be intimate…
4. Is your body keeping you from a good sex life? How so?

No. My smaller body is helping my sex life. I can be on top for longer periods of time which I like and my lovers can be rougher with me and toss me around lol. 
5. Smiles. Do you have a sexy smile that is different from your regular smile. Post a pic of your sexy smile or describe it for us?

I don’t have a sexy smile. I think my regular smile can be viewed as sweet and seductive. 

Bonus: May is Masturbation Month. Which of these is your best benefit from masturbating:
a. helps you to relax and/or fall asleep
b. boosts self-esteem
c. combats erectile dysfunction
d. helps you know what feels good so you can tell your sex partner

I say none of the above because I don’t masturbate that often. I don’t think I’ve done it by myself in the last year…. 

Run these streets!!! 

I left the Girl!!! She was wearing me down physically and emotionally! I could see us having a huge altercation if I stayed and I ain’t trying to waste no money on bail. She is the 2nd female I’ve dated that felt the need to “try” and put her hands on me. I say “try” because I ended up pushing her away or fighting her back to the point where she was trying to calm me down. I don’t play with violence and I will fight to the death with my hands or whatever I can grab if I feel like someone is try to seriously hurt me. Like I said I threw up the deuce to that situation and threw her shyt out!!!! 

I already slept with my ex lol (the chick that gave me the promise ring). It felt good as hell and I released a lot of pent up frustration…. I also had an asthma attack but hey I lost count of how many times I came so I think it was worth it.

Tomorrow night I’m supposed to go on dinner date with a guy who used to try and date me all the time. I think I’m just trying to see what dat mouth do….

1. Where are you and why?
Laying in a hotel bed in the Philly Downtown Marriott because I needed a change of scenery.

2. Unusual item in your glove box?
Uno cards lol.
3. Which different accent would you want?
I love the sing song Trini accent.
4. The last full meal you ate?
Last night I had BBQ chicken, mashed potatoes, and cole slaw from the Hard Rock Cafe.
5. One thing you wish you could change from the past week.
I  wish I would just sat and relaxed in my nana’s house instead of doing an in/out trip because of the time I had. I also wished I would’ve stopped to see my great-aunt. 

– Favorite smell that would surprise someone.

Fried chicken!! No matter how much weight I lose I’m a fat gurl at heart.

– What is one bad habit you want to break?

Jumping to conclusions and being hot headed. I’m quick to cuss someone out then apologize.

– What is your favorite place in the world? Like, actually on Earth?

I’m most at peace when I’m sitting on the beach looking at the ocean.

– If you drink alcohol, what is your favorite drink? If you no longer drink (assuming all of us did at one point), favorite non-alcoholic beverage?

Lemon drop martini tied with a mudslide!

– Pictures or written words? Keep one, the other goes forever. Why?

I’ll delete someone’s text messages before I’ll delete their pictures. I think pictures open the gates for memories to flood in.

– What material thing do you want, but not need, at the moment?

A Louis Vuitton purse!

– Celebrity crush, if you could meet two and be left alone with 1 for an hour, who?

Jill Scott or Kerry Washington…

– Do you clear the microwave timer after you use it?

I don’t know how to set it so there is no need to clear it lmao!